The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife

The Power and Influence of a Wife

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2025-04-23

Synopsis: Pastor John Weaver examines the biblical teaching on the power and influence of a wife, using both negative examples (Jezebel, Solomon's wives, Peggy Shippen) and positive instruction (1 Peter 3, Proverbs 31). He emphasizes God's order of authority, the wife's call to submission and reverence, and the evangelistic impact of a godly life on an unbelieving husband.

[John Weaver] All right, well, let's open our Bibles day if you would to first Kings chapter 21 And we're just going to be reading verse 25 first Kings 21 verse 25 The title of the message listen carefully is the power and the influence of a wife So, Justin, you need to pay close attention. And if Catherine's listening, so does she. All right, so look in 1 Kings chapter 21 and verse 25.

[John Weaver] The word of God says, but there was none like an Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel, his wife, stirred up. Now, we're going to be coming back to this verse momentarily. But let me just begin by saying there are many jokes and laughable traits about wives, just as there are many jokes and laughable traits about husbands. One of the most frequent ones that I've heard all of my life was where the husband said to his wife, Do not forget, I am the head of this house.

[John Weaver] And she meekly responded, Yes. Know that you're the head of the house, but please do not forget that I am the neck of the house and the neck always turns the head and Certainly there is more truth to that old joke than you can imagine God does indeed have an order. In fact, you get God's order in 1st Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3 and where the Apostle Paul wrote, But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. So God's order in this world is God the Father, God the Son, Jesus Christ, man, and then woman. 1 Timothy chapter 2 gives us further illumination on this truth. So if you would turn there very quickly, but hold 1 Kings chapter 21. But in 1 Timothy chapter 2, beginning there with verse 8, here's what the Word of God says.

[John Weaver] And I want you to pay especially close attention there to begin with the verse 8. 1 Timothy 2 and verse 8, there the Apostle Paul says, I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting. Now the interesting thing is when you look at 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy 3 and verse 15 is the key verse for this book. Of course, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus are known as the pastoral epistles. And notice, if you would, in verse 15, the apostle writes in chapter 3, But I thought, tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God. which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of truth. So the Apostle Paul is telling each one of us how we are to behave ourselves in the house of God. And now when you go back to verse eight of chapter two, he says it like this. I will therefore that men pray everywhere that is in the church, lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting.

[John Weaver] Now, the interesting thing about this verse is the word men. And there are two Greek words that are very Well-known at least one of them is that is the Greek word Anthropos That is where we get the word Anthropology, which is just simply the study of mankind Anthropoi would be saying it would be plural. So Anthropos or Anthropoi would include men and women but when you get to verse 8 The second word is used and that is the word an air for men which means a man and man only and Man in contradistinction to a woman so he says I will that men pray everywhere in church Lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting so men should be leading in church and you will see why look in verse 9 He says in like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety Not with broidered hair or gold or pearls or costly array. I But which becometh women professing godliness with good works. Now he says this let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

[John Weaver] Now right there cuts out all women preachers because the woman is born in silence with all subjection. Look at the next verse. He says but I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man but to be in silence. Remember now the theme is how to behave yourself in the church of God. So, once again, there can be no women preachers without usurping authority over the man, but they are rather to be in silence. And then he says this, for Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

[John Weaver] Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness and sobriety. Now, the interesting thing is this. God has given us his order, and that is God the Father, God the Son, man, and then woman. And here are two reasons given in this passage why the woman is actually placed under the man. He says, first of all, in verse 13, for Adam was first formed and then Eve. In other words, there is the creation order. The man was created first, and then secondly, the woman. And the second reason that is given in verse 14 is that Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. In other words, the woman was away from her husband and she was deceived and she actually sinned and was seduced by the serpent. Now, the sin, however, came through Adam. Because God had entered into a covenant with Adam. That is why Romans 5 in verse 12 tells us Wherefore as by one man sin entered into the world and death by sin And so death passed upon all men for that all have sinned Now years ago.

[John Weaver] I preached a whole series On the family. I think there are either 11 or 12 messages in that series And one of the messages in that series was titled Creation Differences. And so God has created differences between men and women. I'm certainly not going to re-preach that message today, but it is these differences oftentimes that prove contentious between men and women. One of the standard jokes that men usually say is this, there are two ways with dealing with a woman. And neither one of them work. And of course, women I've heard say, men, you can't live with them and you can't kill them.

[John Weaver] I can see those looks, I know. But you see, it is these creation differences, which are not only physical, but sometimes mental, sometimes emotional, which God created that causes arguments and causes misunderstandings as well. But God has specifically designated the husband as the head of the house, or more specifically, the head of the woman, because in the marriage, The husband represents the Lord Jesus Christ, and the woman represents the Church. And just as the Church is in subjection to the Lord Jesus Christ, so the wife then who represents the Church is to be in subjection to the husband.

[John Weaver] Now let me make a statement, and I'm going to show it to you from the Bible just momentarily. But here it is, a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, part of her submission to her husband is in her submission to Jesus Christ. So, I want you to turn in your Bible to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, but as you turn there, let me just point out the fact that it's not just the wife who's to be in submission. It's also the husband, because the husband is to be in submission Lord Jesus Christ. No one escapes submission. In fact 1 Peter tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. And the fact of the matter just because the wife is commanded to be in submission does not make the husband a dictator, does not make the husband a tyrant, because he himself is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And when a husband then loves his wife the way the Lord Jesus Christ loves the church, that is singularly, sincerely, and sacrificially, it's easy then for a wife to be in submission to her husband.

[John Weaver] So just like Jesus Christ does not dismiss the church, does not ignore the church, and still loves the church regardless of our faults and our failures and our sins, so likewise the husband is to continue to love the wife even in spite of her faults and failures as well. Now, as you look in Ephesians chapter 5, I want you to look beginning there with verse 22. Look at this, Ephesians 5 and verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your husband. Now look at this, as unto the Lord. So part of a woman's submission to her husband is her submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.

[John Weaver] And then he explains why. Verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he's the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Then he says, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water of the word. that he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish, soiled men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." So here's a passage that shows us Exactly the position of that wife and the position of the husband now I want you to look down to verse 33 I'm going to come back to this verse before I close This verse has struck me more and more as I age He says in verse

[John Weaver] 33 nevertheless let every one of you in particular So love his wife even as himself and look at this last part and the wife see that she reverence her husband So we understand the husband is to love the wife even as Christ loved the church. But what in the world does it mean that the wife is therefore to reverence her husband? Well, the truth of the matter is loving our wives as ourselves is much easier when the wife honors, respects, and reverences her husband.

[John Weaver] So that means basically, and I'll hit this again, there should be no cutting, sarcastic, or belittling remarks or any angry tonal patterns from the wife, which are opposite then of honor and respect. Now, let me point out something about men and women, husbands and wives. The standing that the husband and wife have, or the man and the woman, before the Lord is equal. When you stop and think about this, both the husband and the wife are God's creatures. So there's an equality in standing in creaturehood. Secondly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord as sinners. Both are sinners. And thirdly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord in the fact that each one may be redeemed by the grace of God. So each one is a creature, each one is a sinner, and each one may be redeemed. However, just because there is an equal standing does not mean that everyone has the same position. So God then has given what we call positional authority or a positional structure.

[John Weaver] That's why in 1 Corinthians 11 3 he tells us it's God the Father, it's Jesus Christ, it's the man, and then it is the woman as well. So we may have the same standing but not the same positions. Each one of us has heard the old adage, and we've used it, there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians. Why? That means just simply everybody wants to be giving orders and no one wants to be doing the work. In other words, no one wants to be in submission, no one wants to be lower down on the totem pole, so to speak. But we are not lower down on the totem pole even positionally. When you stop and think about this, Jesus Christ came in submission to God the Father. That's why he said in John chapter 14, My Father is greater than I." Now how could Jesus Christ say that if He was God in the flesh? Because Jesus Christ came as a servant. The Father sent Him. He also said in John 10, I and my Father are one.

[John Weaver] So although He was equally God, when God sent Him as the Messiah and the Redeemer, His position was one of a servant. And therefore He took the form of a servant. and served and obeyed the Father. Likewise, when our Lord was a child, He was in submission to His parents. So just simply because you're in submission does not mean that you are not counted whole in the eyes of the Lord. Everyone is in submission. That's why 1 Peter 2 tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. So no one escapes submission, that is the truth. I want you to understand, just because we have an equal standing before God does not mean that we have the same positions before God. And just because a woman is to be under the authority and submission to the man does not mean that she does not have influence or even what you and I would call power. This influence and this power can be used either in a bad sense or even in a good sense So I want you to look back in your Bibles if you would the first Kings chapter 21 and verse 25 Here you're going to see of course this power this influence is used very obviously

[John Weaver] in an evil sense So look again in verse 25 of first Kings chapter 21. I He says, but there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up. Now, Ahab was the wickedest king in the northern kingdom. We need to take note what God says concerning him. So first of all, God says in verse 25, but there was none like unto Ahab. In other words, Ahab was the epitome of wickedness, even as wicked as Jeroboam was in making the calves. Ahab excelled him in wickedness. So Jeroboam was second place to Ahab, that is for sure. There were no kings in the northern kingdom that could top his wickedness. He was first and foremost. He was not only evil, but he married a woman that was more cunning and more evil than he was. So if you look in First Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, First Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, and I want you to pay close attention to how God says this.

[John Weaver] Look in 1st Kings chapter 16 and verse 31. And it came to pass as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat. Now watch this. So Ahab followed Jeroboam in the sins of those calves that he set up in Dan and Beersheba. At least that was set up supposedly in the name of the Lord. It was not. It was idolatry. We understand that. But look at what it says. And it came to pass as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam, the sons of Nebat, that he took the wife Jezebel, the daughter of Ethbel, king of the Sidonians, and went and served Baal and worshipped him. So he went then from the worship of the calves of Jeroboam to the blatant worship of Baal.

[John Weaver] He married a heathen woman which was forbidden by God." Now, I want you to note something else. I want you to note that her father's name was Ethbaal, and her name was Jezebel. In other words, the Baal, B-E-L and B-A-A-L, refer to the same. They were named after this false god. So he went then from the worship of those golden calves to the worship of Baal, and he married this wicked, wicked woman.

[John Weaver] Now let me give you a quote from Adam Clark. Listen to what he said concerning Ahab and his marriage to Jezebel. He said, This was the head and chief of his offending. He took to wife not only a heathen, but one whose hostility to the true religion was well known and carried to the utmost extent. Then he gives you six reasons. Number one, she was the idolatrous daughter of an idolatrous king. Number two, she practiced it openly. Number three, she not only counted it in others, but protected it.

[John Weaver] and gave its partisans honors and rewards. Number four, she used every means to persecute the true religion. And number five, she was hideously cruel and put to death the prophets and priests of God. And number six, in all this she did with the utmost zealous perseverance and relentless cruelty. So Jezebel was an extremely wicked woman. Jezebel, at least that name, is used in Scripture to portray any woman who is vicious and vile and idolatrous. For instance, In the book of Revelation chapter 2 and verse 20, when God is speaking there to the church, he says, Notwithstanding, I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach, and to seduce my servants, to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed to idols. So here's a woman in the book of Revelation that was designated as Jezebel. Now, the Jezebel that married Ahab had been dead for years and years and years. But now here's another woman referred to as Jezebel because she is essentially doing and pushing the same idolatry and wickedness.

[John Weaver] Now, here's a second thing about Ahab. If you look back, first Kings 21 and verse 25 the Bible says but there was none like unto Ahab which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord so he sold himself to work wickedness sin is slavery sinning is selling oneself into servitude sinning against God happened to be Ahab's trade and his business, and he worked hard at rebelling against God. He was not only a slave to his sin, but he was also a slave to Jezebel, his wicked wife. The Bible says it like this in Romans chapter 6 and verse 16.

[John Weaver] Know ye not, to whom you yield yourself servants to obey, his servants you are to whom you obey. whether of sin unto death or of obedience unto righteousness. So whomever you obey, you are his servant, you are his slave.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to take note in verse 25 at the power and the influence of Jezebel over Ahab. The Bible says, but there was none like unto Ahab, Which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord whom Jezebel his wife stirred up So here the Bible says she actually stirred him up now I want you to think about the implication. He was already wicked and vile Yet he was not wicked enough or vile enough for her She wanted him to become more wicked and more vile and The Hebrew word for stirred there is the word kuth.

[John Weaver] And it means to incite, to allure, to instigate, to entice, to stir up, to persuade and provoke. We could say it another way. It means to inflame. She stirred him up. She set him on fire in rebellion against God. She is the one who instigated the murder of Naboth and his sons. She is the one who persecuted the prophets of God. She is the one who fed and pampered the prophets of Baal. She is the one that threatened to murder Elijah. She is the one who encouraged Ahab to rule ruthlessly and cruelly.

[John Weaver] A good example of that is also found in 1 Kings chapter 21. And that is when Ahab wanted the garden of Naboth. And he told Naboth, look, this garden is close by my palace and I'd like to have it for a garden of herbs. I will either pay you money for it or I will trade you another garden spot, which is better. And you know what Naboth said? God forbid it me. Now, it wasn't that Naboth was trying to be, you know, cantankerous. He wasn't trying to beg for a higher price. He just simply said, God forbid it me. And God did forbid him to sell it. Why?

[John Weaver] Because that was the possession of his family. The property actually belonged to God. Naboth and his sons were just stewards on that particular property. When Naboth refused to sell it, they have He came in and turned himself to the wall lying down like a spoiled child and refused to eat and when Jezebel came in She said what's wrong with you? Well, they both won't sell me his property Wow, you know, I want you to look if you would diverse seven first Kings 21 verse 7 and Jezebel his wife said in him Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? Arise and eat bread and let thine heart be merry. I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite. Well, how did she give him the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite? Well, she sent letters to the city in which he dwelled and said, I want you to have a feast and I want you to set Naboth up on high. And then you have two men, children of Belial to come in and say we heard him curse God and curse the king then take him out and stone him Well, if you curse God you deserve to die if you curse the king you deserve to have your property confiscated that was her reasoning

[John Weaver] And that's exactly what they did. Not only did she murder, huh? Naboth she also murdered his sons and she did this in under the name and auspices and authority of Ahab. She wrote the letter. She put his seal upon it. So she had to murder not just Naboth, but also his sons because they would have inherited. So if you look in 2 Kings 9 and verse 26, when God has killed Ahab, remember an arrow went through him in his chariot. Now, of course, he's to be dumped in the plat where Naboth was killed notice if you would in 2nd Kings chapter 9 and verse 26 Here's the interesting thing. God says surely I've seen yesterday the blood of Naboth and the blood of his sons Saith the Lord now were it quite thee in this plot saith the Lord now therefore Taken cast him into the plot of ground according the word of the Lord. So she murdered not just Naboth but also his sons as well now I'm sure that each one of you have heard the name Benedict Arnold.

[John Weaver] I Hope you remember that Benedict Arnold was a traitor He was a treasonous individual who betrayed his country during the American War for Independence and Have you ever wondered what motivated him to do such? What in the world would motivate a man to betray his own country? Well, while he was commander in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Benedict Arnold became captivated by a woman by the name of Peggy Shippen. Peggy Shippen was the daughter of a wealthy, loyalist-leaning judge. So, Benedict Arnold and Peggy were married in 1779.

[John Weaver] Arnold incurred a lot of debt in trying to keep his wife up in the lavish style to which she was not only used to, but was enriched by her father's, what it amounts to. But while she was married to Benedict Arnold, Peggy maintained communication with a British spy, who happened to be a young and handsome man by the name of Major John Andre. And Peggy wanted her husband to meet with Major Andre. Andre had stayed on in Philadelphia, pretending to be a civilian, which he was not. After a year of coaxing and begging and pleading, Peggy then succeeded in getting Benedict Arnold to meet with Major Andre. So by August the 30th, 1780, Benedict Arnold has now openly agreed with John Andre to betray West Point into the hands of the British. Yes, that's the West Point that's still in existence today. Not only did he agree to betray West Point into the hands of the British, but he was going to do so on the very day that George Washington was visiting West Point.

[John Weaver] Thus, George Washington, the Commander-in-Chief, would have been captured as well. Thankfully, the plot was discovered and George Washington was not captured, and neither was West Point delivered into the hands of the Loyalists or into the British. But here's what I want you to understand. It was his wife who goaded him, who coaxed him, who pressured him to betray his country.

[John Weaver] Now, I don't care if you want to call that influence. If you want to call it power, whatever you want to call it, she was the one that was responsible for him betraying his country. Here's the power and influence of a wife.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, if you would, to First Kings chapter 11. And let me show you this again. First Kings chapter 11. Let's read the first three verses and then we're going to skip down and read some. I'm just showing you, again, the power and the influence of a wife. Look at this. But King Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh. Women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, remember Ethbaal was a Zidonian, and Hittites. The nations concerning which the Lord had said unto the children of Israel you shall not go in unto them Neither shall they come in unto you for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods Solomon claimed to these in love and he had 700 wives princesses and 300 concubines look at this and his wives Turned away his heart and his wives Turned away his heart They turned him into idolatry and they actually caused him to lose his kingdom as well as the blessings of God. Thankfully. Wow.

[John Weaver] Not all wives are that wicked, but I want you to notice these were skipped down to verse four. And by the way, before I read this, I read years ago, someone said, poor Solomon, poor Solomon, Can you imagine 700 wives and 300 concubines? And they said, poor Solomon, can you imagine Solomon going to take a shower and finding a thousand pair of pantyhose hanging over the shower rod? I would say, poor, poor Solomon. But can you imagine having to pay for a thousand pair on a regular basis? Wow. But anyhow, look in verse 4. For it came to pass when Solomon was old, here it is again, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods.

[John Weaver] Note, and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtaroth, the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom, or Moloch, the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father. Then did Solomon build a high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the children of Ammon.

[John Weaver] And likewise did he for all of his strange wives, which burn incense and sacrifice unto their gods. And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the Lord God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods. But he kept not that which the Lord commanded. Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes which I commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. So it was his wives that turned away his heart. It was his wives that caused him to lose that kingdom and to lose the blessings of God as well. So that is power. That is influence. That is the wives that turned away his heart. Now, I said earlier, thankfully, not all wives are like that.

[John Weaver] I want to show you another picture that's given to us in the New Testament. So if you would turn in your Bibles to First Peter, chapter three, and I want us to read there the first six verses. First Peter, chapter three. And look, if you would, Beginning there with verse 1 first Peter chapter 3 verse 1 and I'm going to go back To these verses after we read them First Peter 3 in verse 1 likewise you wives Be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives and while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

[John Weaver] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even of the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in the old time did holy women also who revered or who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection of their own husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement now this

[John Weaver] is an interesting passage and I say it's interesting because there's so much truth here so here then 1st Peter chapter 3 you have a godly woman Who is married to an unsaved or an ungodly man? now of course if she had Married this man being a saved woman. It would have been unbiblical but in all probability what has happened Both of them were unsaved and God has saved her But he is not he has not saved the husband as of yet so perhaps she was lost when They married, I don't know. But the husband in this passage will not listen to the word of God. He will not listen to preaching.

[John Weaver] He will not read or study the Bible. He will not go to church.

[John Weaver] Now, how shall he hear? We know that you must hear the Word of God. So then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God Romans 10 verse 17 So if he will not read the Bible if he will not listen to teaching and preaching How will he hear? Well, the answer is He's going to hear by observing and watching His godly obedient wife now I want you to look back at verse 1 and He says likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word They also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives Now the word in this passage is the Greek word logos That is the word that is used of our Lord and John chapter 1 in the beginning was the word and the word with God and the word was God the logos and But the word Logos is also used in the Bible, not just in reference to Jesus Christ, but in reference to what you and I would call doctrine or teaching.

[John Weaver] So here's the man that just simply will not listen to the teaching of the word of God. So if he will not listen to the teaching of the word of God, how does he hear? And I've mentioned that it is true. The conversation of the wife now, I want you to look if you would at verse one again Likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word They also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives And then in verse two, he says it again while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear now The word conversation does not mean talking.

[John Weaver] It certainly does not refer to arguing, nagging, belittling, and being sarcastic. The word conversation is the Greek word anastrophe, and it means a manner of life. It means a conduct, a behavior, a deportment. In other words, He's saying it's not simply what you say, it is how you live and how you respond to the Word of God, whose conversation. Of course, you could use talking as well, because there's conversations between husbands and wives, but more specifically, he's talking here about godly living and obedience. Now, there's another word added, if you'll notice it in verse two. while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now the word chaste is the Greek word agnos, which means pure, chaste, clean, clear, and righteous. So it means that you're pure from carnality, you are chaste, you are pure, and you seek to be free from every sin and every fault that is condemned by the Word of God. Now the word chaste here, is the same word that is used in Philippians chapter 4 and verse 8 for pure.

[John Weaver] When he says, finally, my brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, think on these things. So the word pure and the word chaste are basically synonymous.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to go back to verse 1. I want you to look at this. Likewise you wives be in subjections to your own husbands that if any obey not the word They also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives Look at the word one W-o-n they may be won by the conversation of the wives The Greek word here is cardinal And it means to acquire, to gain, to win one over to the kingdom of God. Wow! I want you to think now.

[John Weaver] We're talking about the power and the influence of a wife. Here's a godly woman living with an unsaved ungodly man. And what God is saying is if she will live in front of this man Godly obedience She will be able to win him into the kingdom of God Wow Now I want you to note he said in verse 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear now when you look at verse 2 There is another attribute that has to be added We've talked about the conversation. We've talked about the chaste conversation. Now it says it has to be a chaste conversation coupled with fear. Well, here's a good question. What does this mean and to whom is fear to be extended?

[John Weaver] Now, the Greek word here is the word phobos. It is where we get our English word phobia. Hydrophobia, a fear of water. So a phobia is a fear or a dread. That is the way the word is normally used. However, it means more than that. It refers to reverence and honor. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It's not just a dread or a fear of God that God's going to judge us. It's reverence. It's all it's respect. It's honor that we have for him.

[John Weaver] Now, I told you I was going to come back to the book of Ephesians chapter five in verse thirty three. And I want you to look back there, if you would, please, because here we're going to see this applied. If you look at Ephesians chapter five, verse 33 again Notice what the scripture says Nevertheless let every one of you in particular talking about the husband's so love his wife even as himself and The wife see that she reverence her husband Now the word reverence here is the same word with the exception is the verb instead of the noun phobos is the noun phobeo is the verb Now is the wife to be in dread of the husband? No.

[John Weaver] Is she to stand in fear of him? No. But she is to honor him. She is to reverence him. And that's what it means. So the wife makes sure that she reverences her husband.

[John Weaver] Now, the word reverence The same Greek word so it means to reverence it means to venerate it means to treat with deference or reverential obedience So let's go back to first Peter chapter 3 and let me ask a question because this may be in your mind right now So when you look at this picture in first Peter chapter 3 You have a godly woman Who happens to be married to an ungodly man? So here's the question that normally arises. How can a godly woman honor and reverence an ungodly man?

[John Weaver] Well, if you're a Christian, I can give you a very simple answer. And here it is, because God commanded it. I'm going to explain that just a moment there. But remember, the Bible says that you're to honor the face of the old man. The Bible says children are to honor their parents. Is every parent, is every parent honorable? No. Is every old man honorable? No. Honor the king. Is every king honorable? No. Well, I could say, yeah, God commands it, that settles it, that's true, but I'm going to give you other reasons. In other words, you must obey because God commands you to obey, and if you do not obey, then you're disobedient.

[John Weaver] I want you to think about the implication here. If you do not honor or reverence your husband, then not only are you disobedient to God, But in reality, you're destroying your own marriage and your own family. Because there's a positive application, there's also a negative application as well. But here's the second answer, not just because God commanded it. The answer is because God has ordained the man or the husband as your head. You are under his authority, and you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it now it is true and I've said this before if you want to be honored then you must live an honorable life but we have to understand also the position and the office has to be honored even if the individual is dishonorable you see what I'm saying Because God has ordained the position. God has ordained the authority. So, the husband, then, may not be what you want him to be. He may not be what you desire him to be.

[John Weaver] But that's beside the point. God has ordained the man to be the head. And he holds the office and the position of authority. Okay? So many women marry men thinking they're going to change him. The truth of the matter, no woman can change a man, only God can change a man. No man can change a woman, only God can change a woman. But we still must honor the office and the authority of the position. Here's the third thing. In the providence of God, you married him. Marriage is a ministry So what God is doing in first Peter chapter 3. He's telling you If you have an ungodly husband or an unsaved husband Or this would work the other way around if a godly man has an unsaved wife He's giving you the opportunity to minister to that individual and live in the fear of God and live in obedience to and to demonstrate in such a way that the unsaved individual will see the Word of God. So here's what I'm trying to tell you.

[John Weaver] Christian wives are not helpless and powerless. Christian husbands are not helpless and powerless. Christian women are not helpless and powerless. Because there is a power and there is an influence. So we have to live before our mates, before our spouses, a holy and godly life. So when a wife then sees if she is unsaved and her husband is saved, when a wife sees that he loves her sincerely and singularly and sacrificially, Even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, sooner or later there's going to be an influence on that woman. Likewise, if that man sees that godly woman living in obedience and faithfulness, shortly there's going to be an influence upon him. Because God is telling us this is the way that we are to live.

[John Weaver] Now, let me try to tie some things together and make an application or two. This I believe this message is so important because I know personally I know I know women who profess to be Christians Who divorce their husbands just because their husbands were unsaved and they were good husbands Well understand that In one sense the word and I don't understand in another sense of the word But here's the truth. Here's the first one.

[John Weaver] The army has the slogan, be all you can be. I think that should be the slogan for every child of God. We ought to be all that we can be by the grace of God. We ought to do all that we can do in the love of God. And we ought to do all that we do for the honor and the glory of God, which would include living a holy, godly life in front of an unsaved spouse.

[John Weaver] Now, secondly, husbands and wives do indeed have influence and power over each other. I would encourage you when you get home to read the first five verses of 1 Corinthians 7. And you can see there the power and the influence. And the power and the influence must be used for that which is good, godly, and holy.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to turn to one last passage. And that's Proverbs chapter 31. I think you probably realize I would hit this passage sooner or later. But I want you to look, if you would please, first of all at verses 10 and 12. 10 and 12. Proverbs 31. Here's the picture that God gives us of a godly woman and a godly wife. He asks this question, who can find a virtuous woman?

[John Weaver] For her price is far above rubies. Now notice he said a virtuous woman. Didn't say a beautiful woman. Said a virtuous woman. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. So that you shall have no need of spoil She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life Now look at this go back to verse 11 the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her So that you shall have no need to spoil in other words He

[John Weaver] does not have to do anything wicked or wrong or defraud someone or steal to keep up a wife's lavish lifestyle because she spends all the money that he has. Alice will remember this. Years ago, and it was years ago, I knew a college professor who's an older man and a younger wife. And I remember seeing her walk by and walk down the street High heels Dressed to the absolute nth degree with a little fur coat around her with a little little doggie on a leash with a little diamond collar as she walked and that poor man, I know I He he was just always begging for money I he couldn't keep her up And this is what the Bible is saying.

[John Weaver] This virtuous woman, she will do him good. There will be no need for him to spoil or do anything wicked or wrong. She is going to live within her means.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to skip down to verse 28. You can read all of this about her yourself. But he says in verse 28, her children arise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Then he says, this favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

[John Weaver] Give her the fruit of her hands, let her own works praise her in the gates. In other words, what God is saying, what counts in men and women, husbands and wives, is character, integrity. submission. Just like the wife is to be in submission to the husband, the husband is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And both then, the man and the woman's price will be far above Ruby's. God demands that we live in such a way that others may see the truth in us. They may not hear the preaching of the Word of God, but they cannot help but see the preaching of the Word of God in our lives.

[John Weaver] So we do have power. We do have influence. We just need to use it biblically and scripturally. I cannot tell you how many times I've counseled individuals And I've seen the failure of both parts, on the man and on the woman. But God gives us character. He gives us integrity. And that is where we need to stand, doing that which is right and biblical and holy. No Jezebels, just virtuous women and godly husbands.

[John Weaver] Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your help. We ask for your blessings. We ask, Lord, that you would teach us and, Lord, that you would help us to help others. Lord, help us to understand these principles and use them in our lives, Lord, not only for ourselves, but to help others. Give us your grace and your mercy. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen. ♪ ♪ you

The Power and Influence of a Wife

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	GiFp-4H5Dnc
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2025-04-23
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 31
Source Timed Segments	65

Formatted Transcript

Introduction and God's Order of Authority

Weaver introduces the topic with a joke about the neck turning the head, then establishes God's order: God the Father, Christ, man, woman, citing 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2.

All right, well, let's open our Bibles today, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 21. And we're just going to be reading verse 25. 1 Kings 21 verse 25. The title of the message, listen carefully, is "The Power and the Influence of a Wife." So, Justin, you need to pay close attention. And if Catherine's listening, so does she. All right, so look in 1 Kings chapter 21 and verse 25. The Word of God says,

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 21:25

"But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up."

Now, we're going to be coming back to this verse momentarily. But let me just begin by saying there are many jokes and laughable traits about wives, just as there are many jokes and laughable traits about husbands. One of the most frequent ones that I've heard all of my life was where the husband said to his wife, "Do not forget, I am the head of this house."

And she meekly responded,

Scripture Reading — 1 Corinthians 11:3

"Yes, know that you're the head of the house, but please do not forget that I am the neck of the house and the neck always turns the head."

And certainly there is more truth to that old joke than you can imagine. God does indeed have an order. In fact, you get God's order in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3, where the Apostle Paul wrote,

Scripture Reading — 1 Corinthians 11:3

"But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God."

So God's order in this world is God the Father, God the Son, Jesus Christ, man, and then woman. 1 Timothy chapter 2 gives us further illumination on this truth. So if you would turn there very quickly, but hold 1 Kings chapter 21. But in 1 Timothy chapter 2, beginning there with verse 8, here's what the Word of God says.

And I want you to pay especially close attention there, beginning with verse 8. 1 Timothy 2 and verse 8, there the Apostle Paul says,

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting."

Now the interesting thing is when you look at 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy 3 and verse 15 is the key verse for this book. Of course, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus are known as the pastoral epistles. And notice, if you would, in verse 15, the apostle writes in chapter 3, "But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of truth." So the Apostle Paul is telling each one of us how we are to behave ourselves in the house of God. And now when you go back to verse 8 of chapter 2, he says it like this:

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"I will therefore that men pray everywhere"

—that is in the church—

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting."

Now, the interesting thing about this verse is the word "men." And there are two Greek words that are very well-known, at least one of them is, that is the Greek word "anthropos." That is where we get the word "anthropology," which is just simply the study of mankind. "Anthropoi" would be saying it would be plural. So "anthropos" or "anthropoi" would include men and women. But when you get to verse 8, the second word is used, and that is the word "aner" for men, which means a man, and man only, and man in contradistinction to a woman. So he says, "I will that men pray everywhere in church, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting." So men should be leading in church, and you will see why. Look in verse 9. He says, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but which becometh women professing godliness with good works." Now he says this: "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."

Now right there cuts out all women preachers, because the woman is to learn in silence with all subjection. Look at the next verse. He says, "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." Remember now, the theme is how to behave yourself in the church of God. So, once again, there can be no women preachers without usurping authority over the man, but they are rather to be in silence. And then he says this, "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. Now, the interesting thing is this. God has given us His order, and that is God the Father, God the Son, man, and then woman. And here are two reasons given in this passage why the woman is actually placed under the man. He says, first of all, in verse 13, "For Adam was first formed and then Eve." In other words, there is the creation order. The man was created first, and then secondly, the woman. And the second reason that is given in verse 14 is that "Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." In other words, the woman was away from her husband and she was deceived and she actually sinned and was seduced by the serpent. Now, the sin, however, came through Adam. Because God had entered into a covenant with Adam. That is why Romans 5 in verse 12 tells us, "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." Now years ago,

Reasons for the Woman's Position

From 1 Timothy 2:13-14, Weaver gives two reasons for the woman's placement under the man: creation order (Adam first) and the woman's deception in the Fall.

Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. Now, the interesting thing is this. God has given us His order, and that is God the Father, God the Son, man, and then woman. And here are two reasons given in this passage why the woman is actually placed under the man. He says, first of all, in verse 13, "For Adam was first formed and then Eve." In other words, there is the creation order. The man was created first, and then secondly, the woman. And the second reason that is given in verse 14 is that "Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." In other words, the woman was away from her husband and she was deceived and she actually sinned and was seduced by the serpent. Now, the sin, however, came through Adam. Because God had entered into a covenant with Adam. That is why Romans 5 in verse 12 tells us, "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." Now years ago,

Submission in Marriage Reflects Christ and the Church

The husband represents Christ and the wife the Church; submission is mutual in that the husband submits to Christ, and the wife's submission to her husband is part of her submission to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Now let me make a statement, and I'm going to show it to you from the Bible just momentarily. But here it is: a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, part of her submission to her husband is in her submission to Jesus Christ. So, I want you to turn in your Bible to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, but as you turn there, let me just point out the fact that it's not just the wife who's to be in submission. It's also the husband, because the husband is to be in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. No one escapes submission. In fact, 1 Peter tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. And the fact of the matter is, just because the wife is commanded to be in submission does not make the husband a dictator, does not make the husband a tyrant, because he himself is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And when a husband then loves his wife the way the Lord Jesus Christ loves the church, that is singularly, sincerely, and sacrificially, it's easy then for a wife to be in submission to her husband.

So just like Jesus Christ does not dismiss the church, does not ignore the church, and still loves the church regardless of our faults and our failures and our sins, so likewise the husband is to continue to love the wife even in spite of her faults and failures as well. Now, as you look in Ephesians chapter 5, I want you to look beginning there with verse 22. Look at this, Ephesians 5 and verse 22:

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands."

Now look at this, "as unto the Lord." So part of a woman's submission to her husband is her submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. And then he explains why. Verse 23, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Then he says,

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:22-33

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

So here's a passage that shows us exactly the position of that wife and the position of the husband. Now I want you to look down to verse 33. I'm going to come back to this verse before I close. This verse has struck me more and more as I age. He says in verse

33, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." So we understand the husband is to love the wife even as Christ loved the church. But what in the world does it mean that the wife is therefore to reverence her husband? Well, the truth of the matter is, loving our wives as ourselves is much easier when the wife honors, respects, and reverences her husband. So that means basically, and I'll hit this again, there should be no cutting, sarcastic, or belittling remarks or any angry tonal patterns from the wife, which are opposite then of honor and respect. Now, let me point out something about men and women, husbands and wives. The standing that the husband and wife have, or the man and the woman, before the Lord is equal. When you stop and think about this, both the husband and the wife are God's creatures. So there's an equality in standing in creaturehood. Secondly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord as sinners. Both are sinners. And thirdly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord in the fact that each one may be redeemed by the grace of God. So each one is a creature, each one is a sinner, and each one may be redeemed. However, just because there is an equal standing does not mean that everyone has the same position. So God then has given what we call positional authority or a positional structure.

Equal Standing, Different Positions

Men and women have equal standing as creatures, sinners, and potential recipients of redemption, but God assigns different positional authority, just as Christ submitted to the Father.

That's why in 1 Corinthians 11:3 he tells us it's God the Father, it's Jesus Christ, it's the man, and then it is the woman as well. So we may have the same standing but not the same positions. Each one of us has heard the old adage, and we've used it, "There are too many chiefs and not enough Indians." Why? That means just simply everybody wants to be giving orders and no one wants to be doing the work. In other words, no one wants to be in submission, no one wants to be lower down on the totem pole, so to speak. But we are not lower down on the totem pole even positionally. When you stop and think about this, Jesus Christ came in submission to God the Father. That's why he said in John chapter 14, "My Father is greater than I." Now how could Jesus Christ say that if He was God in the flesh? Because Jesus Christ came as a servant. The Father sent Him. He also said in John 10, "I and my Father are one."

So although He was equally God, when God sent Him as the Messiah and the Redeemer, His position was one of a servant. And therefore He took the form of a servant, and served and obeyed the Father. Likewise, when our Lord was a child, He was in submission to His parents. So just simply because you're in submission does not mean that you are not counted whole in the eyes of the Lord. Everyone is in submission. That's why 1 Peter 2 tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. So no one escapes submission, that is the truth. I want you to understand, just because we have an equal standing before God does not mean that we have the same positions before God. And just because a woman is to be under the authority and submission to the man does not mean that she does not have influence or even what you and I would call power. This influence and this power can be used either in a bad sense or even in a good sense. So I want you to look back in your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 21 and verse 25. Here you're going to see, of course, this power, this influence is used very obviously

Negative Example: Jezebel's Evil Influence on Ahab

Jezebel stirred up Ahab to greater wickedness, instigating murder and idolatry; her influence demonstrates the destructive power a wife can wield (1 Kings 21:25).

in an evil sense. So look again in verse 25 of 1 Kings chapter 21. He says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." Now, Ahab was the wickedest king in the northern kingdom. We need to take note what God says concerning him. So first of all, God says in verse 25, "But there was none like unto Ahab." In other words, Ahab was the epitome of wickedness, even as wicked as Jeroboam was in making the calves. Ahab excelled him in wickedness. So Jeroboam was second place to Ahab, that is for sure. There were no kings in the northern kingdom that could top his wickedness. He was first and foremost. He was not only evil, but he married a woman that was more cunning and more evil than he was. So if you look in 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, and I want you to pay close attention to how God says this.

Look in 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 16:31

"And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat."

Now watch this. So Ahab followed Jeroboam in the sins of those calves that he set up in Dan and Beersheba. At least that was set up supposedly in the name of the Lord. It was not. It was idolatry. We understand that. But look at what it says.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 16:31

"And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him."

So he went then from the worship of the calves of Jeroboam to the blatant worship of Baal.

He married a heathen woman, which was forbidden by God. Now, I want you to note something else. I want you to note that her father's name was Ethbaal, and her name was Jezebel. In other words, the "Baal"—B-E-L and B-A-A-L—refer to the same. They were named after this false god. So he went then from the worship of those golden calves to the worship of Baal, and he married this wicked, wicked woman.

Now let me give you a quote from Adam Clarke. Listen to what he said concerning Ahab and his marriage to Jezebel. He said, "This was the head and chief of his offending. He took to wife not only a heathen, but one whose hostility to the true religion was well known and carried to the utmost extent." Then he gives you six reasons. Number one, she was the idolatrous daughter of an idolatrous king. Number two, she practiced it openly. Number three, she not only countenanced it in others, but protected it,

and gave its partisans honors and rewards. Number four, she used every means to persecute the true religion. And number five, she was hideously cruel and put to death the prophets and priests of God. And number six, in all this she did with the utmost zealous perseverance and relentless cruelty. So Jezebel was an extremely wicked woman. Jezebel, at least that name, is used in Scripture to portray any woman who is vicious and vile and idolatrous. For instance, in the book of Revelation chapter 2 and verse 20, when God is speaking there to the church, he says, "Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols." So here's a woman in the book of Revelation that was designated as Jezebel. Now, the Jezebel that married Ahab had been dead for years and years and years. But now here's another woman referred to as Jezebel because she is essentially doing and pushing the same idolatry and wickedness.

Now, here's a second thing about Ahab. If you look back, 1 Kings 21 and verse 25, the Bible says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord." So he sold himself to work wickedness. Sin is slavery. Sinning is selling oneself into servitude. Sinning against God happened to be Ahab's trade and his business, and he worked hard at rebelling against God. He was not only a slave to his sin, but he was also a slave to Jezebel, his wicked wife. The Bible says it like this in Romans chapter 6 and verse 16.

"Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?" So whomever you obey, you are his servant, you are his slave. Now, I want you to take note in verse 25 at the power and the influence of Jezebel over Ahab. The Bible says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." So here the Bible says she actually stirred him up. Now I want you to think about the implication. He was already wicked and vile. Yet he was not wicked enough or vile enough for her. She wanted him to become more wicked and more vile. The Hebrew word for "stirred" there is the word "kuth."

And it means to incite, to allure, to instigate, to entice, to stir up, to persuade and provoke. We could say it another way. It means to inflame. She stirred him up. She set him on fire in rebellion against God. She is the one who instigated the murder of Naboth and his sons. She is the one who persecuted the prophets of God. She is the one who fed and pampered the prophets of Baal. She is the one that threatened to murder Elijah. She is the one who encouraged Ahab to rule ruthlessly and cruelly.

A good example of that is also found in 1 Kings chapter 21. And that is when Ahab wanted the garden of Naboth. And he told Naboth, "Look, this garden is close by my palace and I'd like to have it for a garden of herbs. I will either pay you money for it or I will trade you another garden spot, which is better." And you know what Naboth said? "God forbid it me." Now, it wasn't that Naboth was trying to be, you know, cantankerous. He wasn't trying to beg for a higher price. He just simply said, "God forbid it me." And God did forbid him to sell it. Why?

Because that was the possession of his family. The property actually belonged to God. Naboth and his sons were just stewards on that particular property. When Naboth refused to sell it, Ahab came in and turned himself to the wall, lying down like a spoiled child and refused to eat. And when Jezebel came in, she said, "What's wrong with you?" "Well, Naboth won't sell me his property." "Wow." You know, I want you to look, if you would, at verse 7. 1 Kings 21 verse 7: "And Jezebel his wife said unto him, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? Arise, and eat bread, and let thine heart be merry: I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 21:7

" Well, how did she give him the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite? Well, she sent letters to the city in which he dwelled and said, "

I want you to have a feast and I want you to set Naboth up on high. And then you have two men, children of Belial, to come in and say we heard him curse God and curse the king, then take him out and stone him." Well, if you curse God you deserve to die, if you curse the king you deserve to have your property confiscated. That was her reasoning.

And that's exactly what they did. Not only did she murder Naboth, she also murdered his sons, and she did this under the name and auspices and authority of Ahab. She wrote the letter. She put his seal upon it. So she had to murder not just Naboth, but also his sons because they would have inherited. So if you look in 2 Kings 9 and verse 26, when God has killed Ahab—remember an arrow went through him in his chariot—now, of course, he's to be dumped in the plat where Naboth was killed. Notice if you would in 2 Kings chapter 9 and verse 26. Here's the interesting thing. God says,

Scripture Reading — 2 Kings 9:26

"Surely I have seen yesterday the blood of Naboth, and the blood of his sons, saith the Lord; and I will requite thee in this plat, saith the Lord. Now therefore take and cast him into the plat of ground, according to the word of the Lord."

So she murdered not just Naboth but also his sons as well. Now I'm sure that each one of you have heard the name Benedict Arnold.

Historical Example: Peggy Shippen and Benedict Arnold

Peggy Shippen coaxed Benedict Arnold into betraying West Point, illustrating how a wife's influence can lead a husband into treason.

I hope you remember that Benedict Arnold was a traitor. He was a treasonous individual who betrayed his country during the American War for Independence. And have you ever wondered what motivated him to do such? What in the world would motivate a man to betray his own country? Well, while he was commander in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Benedict Arnold became captivated by a woman by the name of Peggy Shippen. Peggy Shippen was the daughter of a wealthy, loyalist-leaning judge. So, Benedict Arnold and Peggy were married in 1779.

Arnold incurred a lot of debt in trying to keep his wife up in the lavish style to which she was not only used to, but was enriched by her father's wealth, what it amounts to. But while she was married to Benedict Arnold, Peggy maintained communication with a British spy, who happened to be a young and handsome man by the name of Major John Andre. And Peggy wanted her husband to meet with Major Andre. Andre had stayed on in Philadelphia, pretending to be a civilian, which he was not. After a year of coaxing and begging and pleading, Peggy then succeeded in getting Benedict Arnold to meet with Major Andre. So by August the 30th, 1780, Benedict Arnold has now openly agreed with John Andre to betray West Point into the hands of the British. Yes, that's the West Point that's still in existence today. Not only did he agree to betray West Point into the hands of the British, but he was going to do so on the very day that George Washington was visiting West Point.

Thus, George Washington, the Commander-in-Chief, would have been captured as well. Thankfully, the plot was discovered and George Washington was not captured, and neither was West Point delivered into the hands of the Loyalists or into the British. But here's what I want you to understand. It was his wife who goaded him, who coaxed him, who pressured him to betray his country.

Now, I don't care if you want to call that influence. If you want to call it power, whatever you want to call it, she was the one that was responsible for him betraying his country. Here's the power and influence of a wife.

Negative Example: Solomon's Wives Turned His Heart

Solomon's many foreign wives turned his heart to idolatry, causing him to lose the kingdom and God's blessing (1 Kings 11:1-11).

Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 11. And let me show you this again. 1 Kings chapter 11. Let's read the first three verses and then we're going to skip down and read some. I'm just showing you, again, the power and the influence of a wife. Look at this.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 11:1-11

"But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians"

—remember Ethbaal was a Zidonian—

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 11:1-11

"and Hittites; of the nations concerning which the Lord had said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart."

And his wives turned away his heart. They turned him into idolatry and they actually caused him to lose his kingdom as well as the blessings of God. Thankfully,

not all wives are that wicked, but I want you to notice these. Skip down to verse 4. And by the way, before I read this, I read years ago, someone said, "Poor Solomon, poor Solomon. Can you imagine 700 wives and 300 concubines?" And they said, "Poor Solomon, can you imagine Solomon going to take a shower and finding a thousand pair of pantyhose hanging over the shower rod?" I would say, poor, poor Solomon. But can you imagine having to pay for a thousand pair on a regular basis? Wow. But anyhow, look in verse 4. "For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods."

Note, "and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtaroth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom"—or Moloch—"the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father. Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon." "And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods. And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the Lord God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the Lord commanded. Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant." So it was his wives that turned away his heart. It was his wives that caused him to lose that kingdom and to lose the blessings of God as well. So that is power. That is influence. That is the wives that turned away his heart. Now, I said earlier, thankfully, not all wives are like that.

Positive Example: Winning an Unbelieving Husband Without a Word

1 Peter 3:1-6 teaches that a godly wife's chaste conduct and reverence can win an unbelieving husband to the Lord without preaching.

I want to show you another picture that's given to us in the New Testament. So if you would turn in your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3, and I want us to read there the first six verses. 1 Peter chapter 3. And look, if you would, beginning there with verse 1. 1 Peter 3 and verse 1, and I'm going to go back to these verses after we read them. 1 Peter 3 in verse 1:

Scripture Reading — 1 Peter 3:1-6

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

Now this

is an interesting passage and I say it's interesting because there's so much truth here. So here then, 1 Peter chapter 3, you have a godly woman who is married to an unsaved or an ungodly man. Now of course, if she had married this man being a saved woman, it would have been unbiblical, but in all probability what has happened is both of them were unsaved and God has saved her, but He has not saved the husband as of yet. So perhaps she was lost when they married, I don't know. But the husband in this passage will not listen to the word of God. He will not listen to preaching. He will not read or study the Bible. He will not go to church.

Now, how shall he hear? We know that you must hear the Word of God.

Scripture Reading — Romans 10:17

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God"

(Romans 10:17). So if he will not read the Bible, if he will not listen to teaching and preaching, how will he hear? Well, the answer is he's going to hear by observing and watching his godly, obedient wife. Now I want you to look back at verse 1. He says, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." Now the word "word" in this passage is the Greek word "logos." That is the word that is used of our Lord in John chapter 1: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God"—the Logos. But the word "logos" is also used in the Bible, not just in reference to Jesus Christ, but in reference to what you and I would call doctrine or teaching.

So here's the man that just simply will not listen to the teaching of the word of God. So if he will not listen to the teaching of the word of God, how does he hear? And I've mentioned that it is through the conversation of the wife. Now, I want you to look, if you would, at verse 1 again: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." And then in verse 2, he says it again: "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now the word "conversation" does not mean talking. It certainly does not refer to arguing, nagging, belittling, and being sarcastic. The word "conversation" is the Greek word "anastrophe," and it means a manner of life. It means a conduct, a behavior, a deportment. In other words, he's saying it's not simply what you say, it is how you live and how you respond to the Word of God, whose conversation. Of course, you could use talking as well, because there's conversations between husbands and wives, but more specifically, he's talking here about godly living and obedience. Now, there's another word added, if you'll notice it in verse 2: "while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now the word "chaste" is the Greek word "agnos," which means pure, chaste, clean, clear, and righteous. So it means that you're pure from carnality, you are chaste, you are pure, and you seek to be free from every sin and every fault that is condemned by the Word of God. Now the word "chaste" here is the same word that is used in Philippians chapter 4 and verse 8 for "pure."

When he says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, think on these things." So the word "pure" and the word "chaste" are basically synonymous. Now, I want you to go back to verse 1. I want you to look at this: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." Look at the word "won"—W-O-N—they may be won by the conversation of the wives. The Greek word here is "kerdaino," and it means to acquire, to gain, to win one over to the kingdom of God. Wow! I want you to think now. We're talking about the power and the influence of a wife. Here's a godly woman living with an unsaved, ungodly man. And what God is saying is if she will live in front of this man godly obedience, she will be able to win him into the kingdom of God. Wow. Now I want you to note he said in verse 2, "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now when you look at verse 2, there is another attribute that has to be added. We've talked about the conversation. We've talked about the chaste conversation. Now it says it has to be a chaste conversation coupled with fear. Well, here's a good question. What does this mean and to whom is fear to be extended?

The Meaning of Reverence and Fear

The 'fear' in 1 Peter 3:2 and 'reverence' in Ephesians 5:33 refer to honor and respect, not dread; a wife must reverence her husband because God commands it and because of his God-ordained position.

Now, the Greek word here is the word "phobos." It is where we get our English word "phobia." Hydrophobia, a fear of water. So a phobia is a fear or a dread. That is the way the word is normally used. However, it means more than that. It refers to reverence and honor. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." It's not just a dread or a fear of God that God's going to judge us. It's reverence. It's respect. It's honor that we have for Him.

Now, I told you I was going to come back to the book of Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 33. And I want you to look back there, if you would, please, because here we're going to see this applied. If you look at Ephesians chapter 5, verse 33 again, notice what the Scripture says: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular"—talking about the husbands—"so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Now the word "reverence" here is the same word, with the exception it is the verb instead of the noun. "Phobos" is the noun, "phobeo" is the verb. Now is the wife to be in dread of the husband? No. Is she to stand in fear of him? No. But she is to honor him. She is to reverence him. And that's what it means. So the wife makes sure that she reverences her husband.

Now, the word "reverence"—the same Greek word—so it means to reverence, it means to venerate, it means to treat with deference or reverential obedience. So let's go back to 1 Peter chapter 3 and let me ask a question because this may be in your mind right now. So when you look at this picture in 1 Peter chapter 3, you have a godly woman who happens to be married to an ungodly man. So here's the question that normally arises. How can a godly woman honor and reverence an ungodly man? Well, if you're a Christian, I can give you a very simple answer. And here it is: because God commanded it. I'm going to explain that just a moment there. But remember, the Bible says that you're to honor the face of the old man. The Bible says children are to honor their parents. Is every parent honorable? No. Is every old man honorable? No. Honor the king. Is every king honorable? No. Well, I could say, "Yeah, God commands it, that settles it," that's true, but I'm going to give you other reasons. In other words, you must obey because God commands you to obey, and if you do not obey, then you're disobedient.

I want you to think about the implication here. If you do not honor or reverence your husband, then not only are you disobedient to God, but in reality, you're destroying your own marriage and your own family. Because there's a positive application, there's also a negative application as well. But here's the second answer, not just because God commanded it. The answer is because God has ordained the man or the husband as your head. You are under his authority, and you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it. Now it is true, and I've said this before, if you want to be honored, then you must live an honorable life. But we have to understand also the position and the office has to be honored even if the individual is dishonorable. You see what I'm saying? Because God has ordained the position. God has ordained the authority. So, the husband, then, may not be what you want him to be. He may not be what you desire him to be.

But that's beside the point. God has ordained the man to be the head. And he holds the office and the position of authority. Okay? So many women marry men thinking they're going to change him. The truth of the matter is, no woman can change a man, only God can change a man. No man can change a woman, only God can change a woman. But we still must honor the office and the authority of the position. Here's the third thing. In the providence of God, you married him. Marriage is a ministry. So what God is doing in 1 Peter chapter 3, He's telling you, if you have an ungodly husband or an unsaved husband—or this would work the other way around if a godly man has an unsaved wife—He's giving you the opportunity to minister to that individual and live in the fear of God and live in obedience and to demonstrate in such a way that the unsaved individual will see the Word of God. So here's what I'm trying to tell you.

The Power of Godly Influence and the Virtuous Woman

Christian wives are not powerless; their godly conduct can influence husbands. Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman whose husband trusts her and who does him good, emphasizing character over beauty.

Christian wives are not helpless and powerless. Christian husbands are not helpless and powerless. Christian women are not helpless and powerless. Because there is a power and there is an influence. So we have to live before our mates, before our spouses, a holy and godly life. So when a wife then sees—if she is unsaved and her husband is saved—when a wife sees that he loves her sincerely and singularly and sacrificially, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, sooner or later there's going to be an influence on that woman. Likewise, if that man sees that godly woman living in obedience and faithfulness, shortly there's going to be an influence upon him. Because God is telling us this is the way that we are to live.

Now, let me try to tie some things together and make an application or two. I believe this message is so important because I know personally—I know—I know women who profess to be Christians who divorce their husbands just because their husbands were unsaved, and they were good husbands. Well, understand that. In one sense, I don't understand, in another sense of the word. But here's the truth. Here's the first one. The army has the slogan, "Be all you can be." I think that should be the slogan for every child of God. We ought to be all that we can be by the grace of God. We ought to do all that we can do in the love of God. And we ought to do all that we do for the honor and the glory of God, which would include living a holy, godly life in front of an unsaved spouse.

Now, secondly, husbands and wives do indeed have influence and power over each other. I would encourage you when you get home to read the first five verses of 1 Corinthians 7. And you can see there the power and the influence. And the power and the influence must be used for that which is good, godly, and holy.

Now, I want you to turn to one last passage. And that's Proverbs chapter 31. I think you probably realize I would hit this passage sooner or later. But I want you to look, if you would please, first of all at verses 10 and 12. 10 and 12. Proverbs 31. Here's the picture that God gives us of a godly woman and a godly wife. He asks this question: "Who can find a virtuous woman?"

"For her price is far above rubies." Now notice he said a virtuous woman. Didn't say a beautiful woman. Said a virtuous woman. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Now look at this, go back to verse 11: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." In other words, he does not have to do anything wicked or wrong or defraud someone or steal to keep up a wife's lavish lifestyle because she spends all the money that he has. Alice will remember this. Years ago, and it was years ago, I knew a college professor who was an older man with a younger wife. And I remember seeing her walk by and walk down the street. High heels. Dressed to the absolute nth degree with a little fur coat around her, with a little doggie on a leash with a little diamond collar as she walked. And that poor man, I know, he was just always begging for money. He couldn't keep her up. And this is what the Bible is saying.

This virtuous woman, she will do him good. There will be no need for him to spoil or do anything wicked or wrong. She is going to live within her means. Now, I want you to skip down to verse 28. You can read all of this about her yourself. But he says in verse 28, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." Then he says, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

"Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." In other words, what God is saying, what counts in men and women, husbands and wives, is character, integrity, submission. Just like the wife is to be in submission to the husband, the husband is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And both then, the man and the woman's price will be far above rubies. God demands that we live in such a way that others may see the truth in us. They may not hear the preaching of the Word of God, but they cannot help but see the preaching of the Word of God in our lives.

Conclusion and Call to Biblical Living

Weaver urges believers to use their influence biblically, living with character and integrity, avoiding the way of Jezebel and following the pattern of the virtuous woman and godly husband.

So we do have power. We do have influence. We just need to use it biblically and scripturally. I cannot tell you how many times I've counseled individuals and I've seen the failure of both parts, on the man and on the woman. But God gives us character. He gives us integrity. And that is where we need to stand, doing that which is right and biblical and holy. No Jezebels, just virtuous women and godly husbands.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your help. We ask for your blessings. We ask, Lord, that you would teach us and, Lord, that you would help us to help others. Lord, help us to understand these principles and use them in our lives, Lord, not only for ourselves, but to help others. Give us your grace and your mercy. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen.

Study Guide

Major Themes

God's Order of Authority

Summary: God has established a hierarchical order: God the Father, Christ, man, woman. This order is rooted in creation and the Fall, and it applies in the church and home.

Evidence: Weaver cites 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2:8-14 to establish the order and reasons for it.

The Power and Influence of a Wife

Summary: A wife possesses significant influence over her husband, which can be used for evil (Jezebel, Solomon's wives, Peggy Shippen) or for good (the godly wife in 1 Peter 3).

Evidence: The entire sermon is built around this theme, with multiple biblical and historical examples.

Submission and Reverence in Marriage

Summary: Wives are called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and to reverence them. This submission is not degrading but reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church.

Evidence: Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-6 are expounded to show the wife's duty and its spiritual significance.

Evangelistic Impact of a Godly Life

Summary: An unbelieving husband may be won to Christ without a word through the chaste and reverent conduct of his wife, demonstrating the power of a lived testimony.

Evidence: 1 Peter 3:1-2 is explained, emphasizing 'conversation' (manner of life) and 'won' (gained for the kingdom).

The Danger of Ungodly Influence

Summary: Wicked wives can lead husbands into greater sin, idolatry, and destruction, as seen in Ahab, Solomon, and Benedict Arnold.

Evidence: 1 Kings 21:25, 1 Kings 11:1-11, and the historical account of Peggy Shippen are used as warnings.

Character Over Outward Appearance

Summary: True value in a wife is found in virtue, the fear of the Lord, and a meek and quiet spirit, not in external adornment or beauty.

Evidence: Proverbs 31:10-31 and 1 Peter 3:3-4 are cited to contrast worldly and godly priorities.

Key Arguments

A wife's submission to her husband is part of her submission to Christ.

Summary: Ephesians 5:22 commands wives to submit to their husbands 'as unto the Lord,' making marital submission a spiritual act of obedience to Jesus.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.'

God's order is based on creation and the Fall, not culture.

Summary: 1 Timothy 2:13-14 gives two timeless reasons for male headship: Adam was formed first, and Eve was deceived, not Adam.

Evidence: Weaver reads and explains these verses, linking them to the permanent order in the church.

A wife can win her unbelieving husband through godly conduct.

Summary: 1 Peter 3:1-2 teaches that a husband who disobeys the word may be won 'without the word' by observing his wife's pure and reverent behavior.

Evidence: Weaver analyzes the Greek words for 'conversation' (anastrophe) and 'won' (kerdaino) to support this argument.

Reverencing a husband is commanded regardless of his character.

Summary: A wife must honor her husband because God commands it and because of his God-ordained position, even if he is not honorable.

Evidence: Weaver argues, 'you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it.'

Jezebel's influence shows the destructive potential of a wife.

Summary: 1 Kings 21:25 says Jezebel 'stirred up' Ahab to wickedness, meaning she incited and inflamed his rebellion, leading to murder and idolatry.

Evidence: Weaver explains the Hebrew word 'kuth' and details Jezebel's actions in the Naboth incident.

Solomon's wives turned his heart from God.

Summary: 1 Kings 11:1-11 explicitly states that Solomon's foreign wives turned his heart to other gods, resulting in the loss of the kingdom.

Evidence: Weaver reads the passage and emphasizes, 'it was his wives that turned away his heart.'

True beauty is a meek and quiet spirit.

Summary: 1 Peter 3:3-4 teaches that a woman's adornment should be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God.

Evidence: Weaver contrasts outward adornment with the 'ornament of a meek and quiet spirit' and connects it to Proverbs 31.

Scripture References

1 Kings 21:25

Context: Key text: Ahab sold himself to wickedness, stirred up by Jezebel his wife.

1 Corinthians 11:3

Context: God's order: head of every man is Christ, head of woman is man, head of Christ is God.

1 Timothy 2:8-15

Context: Instructions for men and women in the church; women to learn in silence, not teach or usurp authority; reasons from creation and Fall.

1 Timothy 3:15

Context: Key verse of 1 Timothy: how to behave in the house of God.

Romans 5:12

Context: Sin entered the world through one man (Adam).

Ephesians 5:22-33

Context: Wives submit to husbands as to the Lord; husbands love wives as Christ loved the church; wife must reverence husband.

1 Kings 16:31

Context: Ahab married Jezebel and served Baal.

Revelation 2:20

Context: The woman Jezebel in Thyatira who seduces God's servants.

Romans 6:16

Context: You are slaves to whom you obey, whether sin or obedience.

1 Kings 21:7

Context: Jezebel promises to give Ahab Naboth's vineyard.

2 Kings 9:26

Context: God saw the blood of Naboth and his sons and will requite it.

1 Kings 11:1-11

Context: Solomon's foreign wives turned his heart to idols; God's anger and judgment.

1 Peter 3:1-6

Context: Wives, be subject to husbands; win them by chaste conduct; adornment of a gentle spirit; example of Sarah.

Romans 10:17

Context: Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Philippians 4:8

Context: Think on things that are pure (same Greek word as 'chaste').

Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-31

Context: The virtuous woman: her price far above rubies; husband trusts her; she does him good; her works praise her.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5

Context: Mentioned as showing the power and influence husbands and wives have over each other.

John 14:28

Context: Jesus said, 'My Father is greater than I,' demonstrating submission within the Godhead.

John 10:30

Context: Jesus said, 'I and my Father are one,' showing equality of essence but distinction in role.

Historical References

Adam Clarke's commentary on Ahab and Jezebel

Context: Clarke described Jezebel as hostile to true religion, practicing idolatry openly, persecuting God's prophets, and being hideously cruel.

Benedict Arnold and Peggy Shippen

Context: Peggy Shippen, a loyalist-leaning woman, coaxed her husband Benedict Arnold into betraying West Point to the British during the American Revolution.

Major John Andre

Context: British spy who communicated with Peggy Shippen and met with Benedict Arnold to arrange the betrayal of West Point.

George Washington

Context: Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army, who would have been captured if Arnold's plot had succeeded.

Important Quotes

But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up.

Significance: The foundational text of the sermon, showing the evil influence a wife can have.

a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Significance: Connects marital submission directly to obedience to Christ.

the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Significance: Highlights the often-neglected command for wives to reverence their husbands.

they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

Significance: Shows the evangelistic power of a wife's godly conduct.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Significance: Summarizes the biblical priority of character over external appearance.

Discussion Questions

How does understanding God's order of authority (God, Christ, man, woman) affect the way we view marriage roles?

Context: Weaver establishes this order from 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2.

In what ways can a wife's influence be used for evil, and how can we guard against that?

Context: The examples of Jezebel, Solomon's wives, and Peggy Shippen illustrate destructive influence.

What does it mean for a wife to 'reverence' her husband, and why is this commanded even if the husband is not honorable?

Context: Weaver explains 'reverence' from Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Peter 3:2, emphasizing honor for the position.

How can a godly wife practically 'win' her unbelieving husband without a word?

Context: 1 Peter 3:1-2 is discussed, focusing on chaste conduct and the meaning of 'conversation' and 'won.'

Why does God place such emphasis on the 'hidden man of the heart' and a 'meek and quiet spirit' over outward adornment?

Context: Weaver contrasts 1 Peter 3:3-4 with worldly values and connects it to Proverbs 31.

How does the husband's love for his wife as Christ loved the church enable her submission?

Context: Weaver states that when a husband loves sacrificially, it is easy for a wife to submit.

Applications

Wives, reverence your husbands as God commands.

Summary: A wife must honor and respect her husband, not with sarcasm or belittling, but with reverential obedience, because God commands it and because of his God-given position.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'there should be no cutting, sarcastic, or belittling remarks or any angry tonal patterns from the wife' and 'you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it.'

Use your influence for godly purposes.

Summary: Both husbands and wives have power and influence over each other; this influence must be used for what is good, godly, and holy, not for manipulation or evil.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'the power and the influence must be used for that which is good, godly, and holy.'

Live a chaste and reverent life before an unsaved spouse.

Summary: A Christian wife with an unbelieving husband should focus on her conduct and reverence, trusting that God can use her life to win him to Christ.

Evidence: 1 Peter 3:1-2 is applied: 'if she will live in front of this man godly obedience, she will be able to win him into the kingdom of God.'

Pursue character over outward beauty.

Summary: Women should prioritize the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God, rather than external adornment.

Evidence: Weaver cites Proverbs 31:30 and 1 Peter 3:3-4, emphasizing that 'what counts... is character, integrity, submission.'

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.

Summary: A husband's sacrificial, singular love makes it easier for a wife to submit and creates a healthy, God-honoring marriage.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'when a husband then loves his wife the way the Lord Jesus Christ loves the church... it's easy then for a wife to be in submission.'

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T16:37:19Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T07:36:16Z

Clean Transcript

The Power and Influence of a Wife

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

All right, well, let's open our Bibles today, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 21. And we're just going to be reading verse 25. 1 Kings 21 verse 25. The title of the message, listen carefully, is "The Power and the Influence of a Wife." So, Justin, you need to pay close attention. And if Catherine's listening, so does she. All right, so look in 1 Kings chapter 21 and verse 25.
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The Word of God says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." Now, we're going to be coming back to this verse momentarily. But let me just begin by saying there are many jokes and laughable traits about wives, just as there are many jokes and laughable traits about husbands. One of the most frequent ones that I've heard all of my life was where the husband said to his wife, "Do not forget, I am the head of this house."
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And she meekly responded, "Yes, know that you're the head of the house, but please do not forget that I am the neck of the house and the neck always turns the head." And certainly there is more truth to that old joke than you can imagine. God does indeed have an order. In fact, you get God's order in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3, where the Apostle Paul wrote, "But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God." So God's order in this world is God the Father, God the Son, Jesus Christ, man, and then woman. 1 Timothy chapter 2 gives us further illumination on this truth. So if you would turn there very quickly, but hold 1 Kings chapter 21. But in 1 Timothy chapter 2, beginning there with verse 8, here's what the Word of God says.
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And I want you to pay especially close attention there, beginning with verse 8. 1 Timothy 2 and verse 8, there the Apostle Paul says, "I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting." Now the interesting thing is when you look at 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy 3 and verse 15 is the key verse for this book. Of course, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus are known as the pastoral epistles. And notice, if you would, in verse 15, the apostle writes in chapter 3, "But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of truth." So the Apostle Paul is telling each one of us how we are to behave ourselves in the house of God. And now when you go back to verse 8 of chapter 2, he says it like this: "I will therefore that men pray everywhere"—that is in the church—"lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting."
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Now, the interesting thing about this verse is the word "men." And there are two Greek words that are very well-known, at least one of them is, that is the Greek word "anthropos." That is where we get the word "anthropology," which is just simply the study of mankind. "Anthropoi" would be saying it would be plural. So "anthropos" or "anthropoi" would include men and women. But when you get to verse 8, the second word is used, and that is the word "aner" for men, which means a man, and man only, and man in contradistinction to a woman. So he says, "I will that men pray everywhere in church, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting." So men should be leading in church, and you will see why. Look in verse 9. He says, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but which becometh women professing godliness with good works." Now he says this: "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."
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Now right there cuts out all women preachers, because the woman is to learn in silence with all subjection. Look at the next verse. He says, "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." Remember now, the theme is how to behave yourself in the church of God. So, once again, there can be no women preachers without usurping authority over the man, but they are rather to be in silence. And then he says this, "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."
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Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. Now, the interesting thing is this. God has given us His order, and that is God the Father, God the Son, man, and then woman. And here are two reasons given in this passage why the woman is actually placed under the man. He says, first of all, in verse 13, "For Adam was first formed and then Eve." In other words, there is the creation order. The man was created first, and then secondly, the woman. And the second reason that is given in verse 14 is that "Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." In other words, the woman was away from her husband and she was deceived and she actually sinned and was seduced by the serpent. Now, the sin, however, came through Adam. Because God had entered into a covenant with Adam. That is why Romans 5 in verse 12 tells us, "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." Now years ago,
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I preached a whole series on the family. I think there are either 11 or 12 messages in that series. And one of the messages in that series was titled "Creation Differences." And so God has created differences between men and women. I'm certainly not going to re-preach that message today, but it is these differences oftentimes that prove contentious between men and women. One of the standard jokes that men usually say is this: there are two ways of dealing with a woman. And neither one of them work. And of course, women I've heard say, "Men, you can't live with them and you can't kill them."
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I can see those looks, I know. But you see, it is these creation differences, which are not only physical, but sometimes mental, sometimes emotional, which God created that causes arguments and causes misunderstandings as well. But God has specifically designated the husband as the head of the house, or more specifically, the head of the woman, because in the marriage, the husband represents the Lord Jesus Christ, and the woman represents the Church. And just as the Church is in subjection to the Lord Jesus Christ, so the wife then who represents the Church is to be in subjection to the husband.
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Now let me make a statement, and I'm going to show it to you from the Bible just momentarily. But here it is: a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, part of her submission to her husband is in her submission to Jesus Christ. So, I want you to turn in your Bible to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, but as you turn there, let me just point out the fact that it's not just the wife who's to be in submission. It's also the husband, because the husband is to be in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. No one escapes submission. In fact, 1 Peter tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. And the fact of the matter is, just because the wife is commanded to be in submission does not make the husband a dictator, does not make the husband a tyrant, because he himself is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And when a husband then loves his wife the way the Lord Jesus Christ loves the church, that is singularly, sincerely, and sacrificially, it's easy then for a wife to be in submission to her husband.
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So just like Jesus Christ does not dismiss the church, does not ignore the church, and still loves the church regardless of our faults and our failures and our sins, so likewise the husband is to continue to love the wife even in spite of her faults and failures as well. Now, as you look in Ephesians chapter 5, I want you to look beginning there with verse 22. Look at this, Ephesians 5 and verse 22: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands." Now look at this, "as unto the Lord." So part of a woman's submission to her husband is her submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.
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And then he explains why. Verse 23, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Then he says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." So here's a passage that shows us exactly the position of that wife and the position of the husband. Now I want you to look down to verse 33. I'm going to come back to this verse before I close. This verse has struck me more and more as I age. He says in verse
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33, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." So we understand the husband is to love the wife even as Christ loved the church. But what in the world does it mean that the wife is therefore to reverence her husband? Well, the truth of the matter is, loving our wives as ourselves is much easier when the wife honors, respects, and reverences her husband.
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So that means basically, and I'll hit this again, there should be no cutting, sarcastic, or belittling remarks or any angry tonal patterns from the wife, which are opposite then of honor and respect. Now, let me point out something about men and women, husbands and wives. The standing that the husband and wife have, or the man and the woman, before the Lord is equal. When you stop and think about this, both the husband and the wife are God's creatures. So there's an equality in standing in creaturehood. Secondly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord as sinners. Both are sinners. And thirdly, the husband and wife have an equal standing before the Lord in the fact that each one may be redeemed by the grace of God. So each one is a creature, each one is a sinner, and each one may be redeemed. However, just because there is an equal standing does not mean that everyone has the same position. So God then has given what we call positional authority or a positional structure.
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That's why in 1 Corinthians 11:3 he tells us it's God the Father, it's Jesus Christ, it's the man, and then it is the woman as well. So we may have the same standing but not the same positions. Each one of us has heard the old adage, and we've used it, "There are too many chiefs and not enough Indians." Why? That means just simply everybody wants to be giving orders and no one wants to be doing the work. In other words, no one wants to be in submission, no one wants to be lower down on the totem pole, so to speak. But we are not lower down on the totem pole even positionally. When you stop and think about this, Jesus Christ came in submission to God the Father. That's why he said in John chapter 14, "My Father is greater than I." Now how could Jesus Christ say that if He was God in the flesh? Because Jesus Christ came as a servant. The Father sent Him. He also said in John 10, "I and my Father are one."
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So although He was equally God, when God sent Him as the Messiah and the Redeemer, His position was one of a servant. And therefore He took the form of a servant, and served and obeyed the Father. Likewise, when our Lord was a child, He was in submission to His parents. So just simply because you're in submission does not mean that you are not counted whole in the eyes of the Lord. Everyone is in submission. That's why 1 Peter 2 tells us that we are to be submitting ourselves one to another. So no one escapes submission, that is the truth. I want you to understand, just because we have an equal standing before God does not mean that we have the same positions before God. And just because a woman is to be under the authority and submission to the man does not mean that she does not have influence or even what you and I would call power. This influence and this power can be used either in a bad sense or even in a good sense. So I want you to look back in your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 21 and verse 25. Here you're going to see, of course, this power, this influence is used very obviously
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in an evil sense. So look again in verse 25 of 1 Kings chapter 21. He says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." Now, Ahab was the wickedest king in the northern kingdom. We need to take note what God says concerning him. So first of all, God says in verse 25, "But there was none like unto Ahab." In other words, Ahab was the epitome of wickedness, even as wicked as Jeroboam was in making the calves. Ahab excelled him in wickedness. So Jeroboam was second place to Ahab, that is for sure. There were no kings in the northern kingdom that could top his wickedness. He was first and foremost. He was not only evil, but he married a woman that was more cunning and more evil than he was. So if you look in 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31, and I want you to pay close attention to how God says this.
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Look in 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31. "And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat." Now watch this. So Ahab followed Jeroboam in the sins of those calves that he set up in Dan and Beersheba. At least that was set up supposedly in the name of the Lord. It was not. It was idolatry. We understand that. But look at what it says. "And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him." So he went then from the worship of the calves of Jeroboam to the blatant worship of Baal.
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He married a heathen woman, which was forbidden by God. Now, I want you to note something else. I want you to note that her father's name was Ethbaal, and her name was Jezebel. In other words, the "Baal"—B-E-L and B-A-A-L—refer to the same. They were named after this false god. So he went then from the worship of those golden calves to the worship of Baal, and he married this wicked, wicked woman.
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Now let me give you a quote from Adam Clarke. Listen to what he said concerning Ahab and his marriage to Jezebel. He said, "This was the head and chief of his offending. He took to wife not only a heathen, but one whose hostility to the true religion was well known and carried to the utmost extent." Then he gives you six reasons. Number one, she was the idolatrous daughter of an idolatrous king. Number two, she practiced it openly. Number three, she not only countenanced it in others, but protected it,
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and gave its partisans honors and rewards. Number four, she used every means to persecute the true religion. And number five, she was hideously cruel and put to death the prophets and priests of God. And number six, in all this she did with the utmost zealous perseverance and relentless cruelty. So Jezebel was an extremely wicked woman. Jezebel, at least that name, is used in Scripture to portray any woman who is vicious and vile and idolatrous. For instance, in the book of Revelation chapter 2 and verse 20, when God is speaking there to the church, he says, "Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols." So here's a woman in the book of Revelation that was designated as Jezebel. Now, the Jezebel that married Ahab had been dead for years and years and years. But now here's another woman referred to as Jezebel because she is essentially doing and pushing the same idolatry and wickedness.
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Now, here's a second thing about Ahab. If you look back, 1 Kings 21 and verse 25, the Bible says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord." So he sold himself to work wickedness. Sin is slavery. Sinning is selling oneself into servitude. Sinning against God happened to be Ahab's trade and his business, and he worked hard at rebelling against God. He was not only a slave to his sin, but he was also a slave to Jezebel, his wicked wife. The Bible says it like this in Romans chapter 6 and verse 16.
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"Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?" So whomever you obey, you are his servant, you are his slave.
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Now, I want you to take note in verse 25 at the power and the influence of Jezebel over Ahab. The Bible says, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." So here the Bible says she actually stirred him up. Now I want you to think about the implication. He was already wicked and vile. Yet he was not wicked enough or vile enough for her. She wanted him to become more wicked and more vile. The Hebrew word for "stirred" there is the word "kuth."
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And it means to incite, to allure, to instigate, to entice, to stir up, to persuade and provoke. We could say it another way. It means to inflame. She stirred him up. She set him on fire in rebellion against God. She is the one who instigated the murder of Naboth and his sons. She is the one who persecuted the prophets of God. She is the one who fed and pampered the prophets of Baal. She is the one that threatened to murder Elijah. She is the one who encouraged Ahab to rule ruthlessly and cruelly.
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A good example of that is also found in 1 Kings chapter 21. And that is when Ahab wanted the garden of Naboth. And he told Naboth, "Look, this garden is close by my palace and I'd like to have it for a garden of herbs. I will either pay you money for it or I will trade you another garden spot, which is better." And you know what Naboth said? "God forbid it me." Now, it wasn't that Naboth was trying to be, you know, cantankerous. He wasn't trying to beg for a higher price. He just simply said, "God forbid it me." And God did forbid him to sell it. Why?
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Because that was the possession of his family. The property actually belonged to God. Naboth and his sons were just stewards on that particular property. When Naboth refused to sell it, Ahab came in and turned himself to the wall, lying down like a spoiled child and refused to eat. And when Jezebel came in, she said, "What's wrong with you?" "Well, Naboth won't sell me his property." "Wow." You know, I want you to look, if you would, at verse 7. 1 Kings 21 verse 7: "And Jezebel his wife said unto him, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? Arise, and eat bread, and let thine heart be merry: I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite." Well, how did she give him the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite? Well, she sent letters to the city in which he dwelled and said, "I want you to have a feast and I want you to set Naboth up on high. And then you have two men, children of Belial, to come in and say we heard him curse God and curse the king, then take him out and stone him." Well, if you curse God you deserve to die, if you curse the king you deserve to have your property confiscated. That was her reasoning.
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And that's exactly what they did. Not only did she murder Naboth, she also murdered his sons, and she did this under the name and auspices and authority of Ahab. She wrote the letter. She put his seal upon it. So she had to murder not just Naboth, but also his sons because they would have inherited. So if you look in 2 Kings 9 and verse 26, when God has killed Ahab—remember an arrow went through him in his chariot—now, of course, he's to be dumped in the plat where Naboth was killed. Notice if you would in 2 Kings chapter 9 and verse 26. Here's the interesting thing. God says, "Surely I have seen yesterday the blood of Naboth, and the blood of his sons, saith the Lord; and I will requite thee in this plat, saith the Lord. Now therefore take and cast him into the plat of ground, according to the word of the Lord." So she murdered not just Naboth but also his sons as well. Now I'm sure that each one of you have heard the name Benedict Arnold.
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I hope you remember that Benedict Arnold was a traitor. He was a treasonous individual who betrayed his country during the American War for Independence. And have you ever wondered what motivated him to do such? What in the world would motivate a man to betray his own country? Well, while he was commander in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Benedict Arnold became captivated by a woman by the name of Peggy Shippen. Peggy Shippen was the daughter of a wealthy, loyalist-leaning judge. So, Benedict Arnold and Peggy were married in 1779.
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Arnold incurred a lot of debt in trying to keep his wife up in the lavish style to which she was not only used to, but was enriched by her father's wealth, what it amounts to. But while she was married to Benedict Arnold, Peggy maintained communication with a British spy, who happened to be a young and handsome man by the name of Major John Andre. And Peggy wanted her husband to meet with Major Andre. Andre had stayed on in Philadelphia, pretending to be a civilian, which he was not. After a year of coaxing and begging and pleading, Peggy then succeeded in getting Benedict Arnold to meet with Major Andre. So by August the 30th, 1780, Benedict Arnold has now openly agreed with John Andre to betray West Point into the hands of the British. Yes, that's the West Point that's still in existence today. Not only did he agree to betray West Point into the hands of the British, but he was going to do so on the very day that George Washington was visiting West Point.
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Thus, George Washington, the Commander-in-Chief, would have been captured as well. Thankfully, the plot was discovered and George Washington was not captured, and neither was West Point delivered into the hands of the Loyalists or into the British. But here's what I want you to understand. It was his wife who goaded him, who coaxed him, who pressured him to betray his country.
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Now, I don't care if you want to call that influence. If you want to call it power, whatever you want to call it, she was the one that was responsible for him betraying his country. Here's the power and influence of a wife.
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Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Kings chapter 11. And let me show you this again. 1 Kings chapter 11. Let's read the first three verses and then we're going to skip down and read some. I'm just showing you, again, the power and the influence of a wife. Look at this. "But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians"—remember Ethbaal was a Zidonian—"and Hittites; of the nations concerning which the Lord had said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart." And his wives turned away his heart. They turned him into idolatry and they actually caused him to lose his kingdom as well as the blessings of God. Thankfully,
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not all wives are that wicked, but I want you to notice these. Skip down to verse 4. And by the way, before I read this, I read years ago, someone said, "Poor Solomon, poor Solomon. Can you imagine 700 wives and 300 concubines?" And they said, "Poor Solomon, can you imagine Solomon going to take a shower and finding a thousand pair of pantyhose hanging over the shower rod?" I would say, poor, poor Solomon. But can you imagine having to pay for a thousand pair on a regular basis? Wow. But anyhow, look in verse 4. "For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods."
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Note, "and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtaroth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom"—or Moloch—"the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father. Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon."
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"And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods. And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the Lord God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the Lord commanded. Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant." So it was his wives that turned away his heart. It was his wives that caused him to lose that kingdom and to lose the blessings of God as well. So that is power. That is influence. That is the wives that turned away his heart. Now, I said earlier, thankfully, not all wives are like that.
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I want to show you another picture that's given to us in the New Testament. So if you would turn in your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3, and I want us to read there the first six verses. 1 Peter chapter 3. And look, if you would, beginning there with verse 1. 1 Peter 3 and verse 1, and I'm going to go back to these verses after we read them. 1 Peter 3 in verse 1: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
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"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Now this
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is an interesting passage and I say it's interesting because there's so much truth here. So here then, 1 Peter chapter 3, you have a godly woman who is married to an unsaved or an ungodly man. Now of course, if she had married this man being a saved woman, it would have been unbiblical, but in all probability what has happened is both of them were unsaved and God has saved her, but He has not saved the husband as of yet. So perhaps she was lost when they married, I don't know. But the husband in this passage will not listen to the word of God. He will not listen to preaching.
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He will not read or study the Bible. He will not go to church.
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Now, how shall he hear? We know that you must hear the Word of God. "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17). So if he will not read the Bible, if he will not listen to teaching and preaching, how will he hear? Well, the answer is he's going to hear by observing and watching his godly, obedient wife. Now I want you to look back at verse 1. He says, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." Now the word "word" in this passage is the Greek word "logos." That is the word that is used of our Lord in John chapter 1: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God"—the Logos. But the word "logos" is also used in the Bible, not just in reference to Jesus Christ, but in reference to what you and I would call doctrine or teaching.
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So here's the man that just simply will not listen to the teaching of the word of God. So if he will not listen to the teaching of the word of God, how does he hear? And I've mentioned that it is through the conversation of the wife. Now, I want you to look, if you would, at verse 1 again: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." And then in verse 2, he says it again: "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now the word "conversation" does not mean talking.
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It certainly does not refer to arguing, nagging, belittling, and being sarcastic. The word "conversation" is the Greek word "anastrophe," and it means a manner of life. It means a conduct, a behavior, a deportment. In other words, he's saying it's not simply what you say, it is how you live and how you respond to the Word of God, whose conversation. Of course, you could use talking as well, because there's conversations between husbands and wives, but more specifically, he's talking here about godly living and obedience. Now, there's another word added, if you'll notice it in verse 2: "while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now the word "chaste" is the Greek word "agnos," which means pure, chaste, clean, clear, and righteous. So it means that you're pure from carnality, you are chaste, you are pure, and you seek to be free from every sin and every fault that is condemned by the Word of God. Now the word "chaste" here is the same word that is used in Philippians chapter 4 and verse 8 for "pure."
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When he says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, think on these things." So the word "pure" and the word "chaste" are basically synonymous.
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Now, I want you to go back to verse 1. I want you to look at this: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." Look at the word "won"—W-O-N—they may be won by the conversation of the wives. The Greek word here is "kerdaino," and it means to acquire, to gain, to win one over to the kingdom of God. Wow! I want you to think now.
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We're talking about the power and the influence of a wife. Here's a godly woman living with an unsaved, ungodly man. And what God is saying is if she will live in front of this man godly obedience, she will be able to win him into the kingdom of God. Wow. Now I want you to note he said in verse 2, "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Now when you look at verse 2, there is another attribute that has to be added. We've talked about the conversation. We've talked about the chaste conversation. Now it says it has to be a chaste conversation coupled with fear. Well, here's a good question. What does this mean and to whom is fear to be extended?
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Now, the Greek word here is the word "phobos." It is where we get our English word "phobia." Hydrophobia, a fear of water. So a phobia is a fear or a dread. That is the way the word is normally used. However, it means more than that. It refers to reverence and honor. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." It's not just a dread or a fear of God that God's going to judge us. It's reverence. It's respect. It's honor that we have for Him.
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Now, I told you I was going to come back to the book of Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 33. And I want you to look back there, if you would, please, because here we're going to see this applied. If you look at Ephesians chapter 5, verse 33 again, notice what the Scripture says: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular"—talking about the husbands—"so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Now the word "reverence" here is the same word, with the exception it is the verb instead of the noun. "Phobos" is the noun, "phobeo" is the verb. Now is the wife to be in dread of the husband? No.
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Is she to stand in fear of him? No. But she is to honor him. She is to reverence him. And that's what it means. So the wife makes sure that she reverences her husband.
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Now, the word "reverence"—the same Greek word—so it means to reverence, it means to venerate, it means to treat with deference or reverential obedience. So let's go back to 1 Peter chapter 3 and let me ask a question because this may be in your mind right now. So when you look at this picture in 1 Peter chapter 3, you have a godly woman who happens to be married to an ungodly man. So here's the question that normally arises. How can a godly woman honor and reverence an ungodly man?
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Well, if you're a Christian, I can give you a very simple answer. And here it is: because God commanded it. I'm going to explain that just a moment there. But remember, the Bible says that you're to honor the face of the old man. The Bible says children are to honor their parents. Is every parent honorable? No. Is every old man honorable? No. Honor the king. Is every king honorable? No. Well, I could say, "Yeah, God commands it, that settles it," that's true, but I'm going to give you other reasons. In other words, you must obey because God commands you to obey, and if you do not obey, then you're disobedient.
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I want you to think about the implication here. If you do not honor or reverence your husband, then not only are you disobedient to God, but in reality, you're destroying your own marriage and your own family. Because there's a positive application, there's also a negative application as well. But here's the second answer, not just because God commanded it. The answer is because God has ordained the man or the husband as your head. You are under his authority, and you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it. Now it is true, and I've said this before, if you want to be honored, then you must live an honorable life. But we have to understand also the position and the office has to be honored even if the individual is dishonorable. You see what I'm saying? Because God has ordained the position. God has ordained the authority. So, the husband, then, may not be what you want him to be. He may not be what you desire him to be.
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But that's beside the point. God has ordained the man to be the head. And he holds the office and the position of authority. Okay? So many women marry men thinking they're going to change him. The truth of the matter is, no woman can change a man, only God can change a man. No man can change a woman, only God can change a woman. But we still must honor the office and the authority of the position. Here's the third thing. In the providence of God, you married him. Marriage is a ministry. So what God is doing in 1 Peter chapter 3, He's telling you, if you have an ungodly husband or an unsaved husband—or this would work the other way around if a godly man has an unsaved wife—He's giving you the opportunity to minister to that individual and live in the fear of God and live in obedience and to demonstrate in such a way that the unsaved individual will see the Word of God. So here's what I'm trying to tell you.
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Christian wives are not helpless and powerless. Christian husbands are not helpless and powerless. Christian women are not helpless and powerless. Because there is a power and there is an influence. So we have to live before our mates, before our spouses, a holy and godly life. So when a wife then sees—if she is unsaved and her husband is saved—when a wife sees that he loves her sincerely and singularly and sacrificially, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, sooner or later there's going to be an influence on that woman. Likewise, if that man sees that godly woman living in obedience and faithfulness, shortly there's going to be an influence upon him. Because God is telling us this is the way that we are to live.
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Now, let me try to tie some things together and make an application or two. I believe this message is so important because I know personally—I know—I know women who profess to be Christians who divorce their husbands just because their husbands were unsaved, and they were good husbands. Well, understand that. In one sense, I don't understand, in another sense of the word. But here's the truth. Here's the first one.
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The army has the slogan, "Be all you can be." I think that should be the slogan for every child of God. We ought to be all that we can be by the grace of God. We ought to do all that we can do in the love of God. And we ought to do all that we do for the honor and the glory of God, which would include living a holy, godly life in front of an unsaved spouse.
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Now, secondly, husbands and wives do indeed have influence and power over each other. I would encourage you when you get home to read the first five verses of 1 Corinthians 7. And you can see there the power and the influence. And the power and the influence must be used for that which is good, godly, and holy.
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Now, I want you to turn to one last passage. And that's Proverbs chapter 31. I think you probably realize I would hit this passage sooner or later. But I want you to look, if you would please, first of all at verses 10 and 12. 10 and 12. Proverbs 31. Here's the picture that God gives us of a godly woman and a godly wife. He asks this question: "Who can find a virtuous woman?"
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"For her price is far above rubies." Now notice he said a virtuous woman. Didn't say a beautiful woman. Said a virtuous woman. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Now look at this, go back to verse 11: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." In other words, he
#59 | 53:11 to 53:44 | cleaned
does not have to do anything wicked or wrong or defraud someone or steal to keep up a wife's lavish lifestyle because she spends all the money that he has. Alice will remember this. Years ago, and it was years ago, I knew a college professor who was an older man with a younger wife. And I remember seeing her walk by and walk down the street. High heels. Dressed to the absolute nth degree with a little fur coat around her, with a little doggie on a leash with a little diamond collar as she walked. And that poor man, I know, he was just always begging for money. He couldn't keep her up. And this is what the Bible is saying.
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This virtuous woman, she will do him good. There will be no need for him to spoil or do anything wicked or wrong. She is going to live within her means.
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Now, I want you to skip down to verse 28. You can read all of this about her yourself. But he says in verse 28, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." Then he says, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
#62 | 55:04 to 55:32 | cleaned
"Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." In other words, what God is saying, what counts in men and women, husbands and wives, is character, integrity, submission. Just like the wife is to be in submission to the husband, the husband is to be in submission to Jesus Christ. And both then, the man and the woman's price will be far above rubies. God demands that we live in such a way that others may see the truth in us. They may not hear the preaching of the Word of God, but they cannot help but see the preaching of the Word of God in our lives.
#63 | 55:33 to 56:29 | cleaned
So we do have power. We do have influence. We just need to use it biblically and scripturally. I cannot tell you how many times I've counseled individuals and I've seen the failure of both parts, on the man and on the woman. But God gives us character. He gives us integrity. And that is where we need to stand, doing that which is right and biblical and holy. No Jezebels, just virtuous women and godly husbands.
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Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your help. We ask for your blessings. We ask, Lord, that you would teach us and, Lord, that you would help us to help others. Lord, help us to understand these principles and use them in our lives, Lord, not only for ourselves, but to help others. Give us your grace and your mercy. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen.
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T16:37:19Z

The Power and Influence of a Wife

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

Pastor John Weaver examines the biblical teaching on the power and influence of a wife, using both negative examples (Jezebel, Solomon's wives, Peggy Shippen) and positive instruction (1 Peter 3, Proverbs 31). He emphasizes God's order of authority, the wife's call to submission and reverence, and the evangelistic impact of a godly life on an unbelieving husband.

Introduction and God's Order of Authority

Weaver introduces the topic with a joke about the neck turning the head, then establishes God's order: God the Father, Christ, man, woman, citing 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 21:25

"But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up."

And she meekly responded,

Scripture Reading — 1 Corinthians 11:3

"Yes, know that you're the head of the house, but please do not forget that I am the neck of the house and the neck always turns the head."

Scripture Reading — 1 Corinthians 11:3

"But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God."

And I want you to pay especially close attention there, beginning with verse 8. 1 Timothy 2 and verse 8, there the Apostle Paul says,

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and without doubting."

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"I will therefore that men pray everywhere"

—that is in the church—

Scripture Reading — 1 Timothy 2:8-15

"lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting."

Reasons for the Woman's Position

From 1 Timothy 2:13-14, Weaver gives two reasons for the woman's placement under the man: creation order (Adam first) and the woman's deception in the Fall.

Submission in Marriage Reflects Christ and the Church

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands."

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:22-33

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

Equal Standing, Different Positions

Men and women have equal standing as creatures, sinners, and potential recipients of redemption, but God assigns different positional authority, just as Christ submitted to the Father.

Negative Example: Jezebel's Evil Influence on Ahab

Jezebel stirred up Ahab to greater wickedness, instigating murder and idolatry; her influence demonstrates the destructive power a wife can wield (1 Kings 21:25).

Look in 1 Kings chapter 16 and verse 31.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 16:31

"And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat."

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 16:31

"And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him."

So he went then from the worship of the calves of Jeroboam to the blatant worship of Baal.

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 21:7

" Well, how did she give him the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite? Well, she sent letters to the city in which he dwelled and said, "

Scripture Reading — 2 Kings 9:26

"Surely I have seen yesterday the blood of Naboth, and the blood of his sons, saith the Lord; and I will requite thee in this plat, saith the Lord. Now therefore take and cast him into the plat of ground, according to the word of the Lord."

So she murdered not just Naboth but also his sons as well. Now I'm sure that each one of you have heard the name Benedict Arnold.

Historical Example: Peggy Shippen and Benedict Arnold

Peggy Shippen coaxed Benedict Arnold into betraying West Point, illustrating how a wife's influence can lead a husband into treason.

Negative Example: Solomon's Wives Turned His Heart

Solomon's many foreign wives turned his heart to idolatry, causing him to lose the kingdom and God's blessing (1 Kings 11:1-11).

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 11:1-11

"But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians"

—remember Ethbaal was a Zidonian—

Scripture Reading — 1 Kings 11:1-11

"and Hittites; of the nations concerning which the Lord had said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart."

And his wives turned away his heart. They turned him into idolatry and they actually caused him to lose his kingdom as well as the blessings of God. Thankfully,

Positive Example: Winning an Unbelieving Husband Without a Word

1 Peter 3:1-6 teaches that a godly wife's chaste conduct and reverence can win an unbelieving husband to the Lord without preaching.

Scripture Reading — 1 Peter 3:1-6

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

Now this

Now, how shall he hear? We know that you must hear the Word of God.

Scripture Reading — Romans 10:17

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God"

The Meaning of Reverence and Fear

The 'fear' in 1 Peter 3:2 and 'reverence' in Ephesians 5:33 refer to honor and respect, not dread; a wife must reverence her husband because God commands it and because of his God-ordained position.

The Power of Godly Influence and the Virtuous Woman

Conclusion and Call to Biblical Living

Weaver urges believers to use their influence biblically, living with character and integrity, avoiding the way of Jezebel and following the pattern of the virtuous woman and godly husband.

The Power and Influence of a Wife

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	GiFp-4H5Dnc
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2025-04-23
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 31
Source Timed Segments	65

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction and God's Order of Authority: Weaver introduces the topic with a joke about the neck turning the head, then establishes God's order: God the Father, Christ, man, woman, citing 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2.
Reasons for the Woman's Position: From 1 Timothy 2:13-14, Weaver gives two reasons for the woman's placement under the man: creation order (Adam first) and the woman's deception in the Fall.
Submission in Marriage Reflects Christ and the Church: The husband represents Christ and the wife the Church; submission is mutual in that the husband submits to Christ, and the wife's submission to her husband is part of her submission to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Equal Standing, Different Positions: Men and women have equal standing as creatures, sinners, and potential recipients of redemption, but God assigns different positional authority, just as Christ submitted to the Father.
Negative Example: Jezebel's Evil Influence on Ahab: Jezebel stirred up Ahab to greater wickedness, instigating murder and idolatry; her influence demonstrates the destructive power a wife can wield (1 Kings 21:25).
Historical Example: Peggy Shippen and Benedict Arnold: Peggy Shippen coaxed Benedict Arnold into betraying West Point, illustrating how a wife's influence can lead a husband into treason.
Negative Example: Solomon's Wives Turned His Heart: Solomon's many foreign wives turned his heart to idolatry, causing him to lose the kingdom and God's blessing (1 Kings 11:1-11).
Positive Example: Winning an Unbelieving Husband Without a Word: 1 Peter 3:1-6 teaches that a godly wife's chaste conduct and reverence can win an unbelieving husband to the Lord without preaching.
The Meaning of Reverence and Fear: The 'fear' in 1 Peter 3:2 and 'reverence' in Ephesians 5:33 refer to honor and respect, not dread; a wife must reverence her husband because God commands it and because of his God-ordained position.
The Power of Godly Influence and the Virtuous Woman: Christian wives are not powerless; their godly conduct can influence husbands. Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman whose husband trusts her and who does him good, emphasizing character over beauty.
Conclusion and Call to Biblical Living: Weaver urges believers to use their influence biblically, living with character and integrity, avoiding the way of Jezebel and following the pattern of the virtuous woman and godly husband.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

A wife's submission to her husband is part of her submission to Christ.

Ephesians 5:22 commands wives to submit to their husbands 'as unto the Lord,' making marital submission a spiritual act of obedience to Jesus.

Weaver states, 'a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.'

God's order is based on creation and the Fall, not culture.

1 Timothy 2:13-14 gives two timeless reasons for male headship: Adam was formed first, and Eve was deceived, not Adam.

Weaver reads and explains these verses, linking them to the permanent order in the church.

A wife can win her unbelieving husband through godly conduct.

1 Peter 3:1-2 teaches that a husband who disobeys the word may be won 'without the word' by observing his wife's pure and reverent behavior.

Weaver analyzes the Greek words for 'conversation' (anastrophe) and 'won' (kerdaino) to support this argument.

Reverencing a husband is commanded regardless of his character.

A wife must honor her husband because God commands it and because of his God-ordained position, even if he is not honorable.

Weaver argues, 'you must honor the position and the office authority because God has established it.'

Jezebel's influence shows the destructive potential of a wife.

1 Kings 21:25 says Jezebel 'stirred up' Ahab to wickedness, meaning she incited and inflamed his rebellion, leading to murder and idolatry.

Weaver explains the Hebrew word 'kuth' and details Jezebel's actions in the Naboth incident.

Solomon's wives turned his heart from God.

1 Kings 11:1-11 explicitly states that Solomon's foreign wives turned his heart to other gods, resulting in the loss of the kingdom.

Weaver reads the passage and emphasizes, 'it was his wives that turned away his heart.'

True beauty is a meek and quiet spirit.

1 Peter 3:3-4 teaches that a woman's adornment should be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God.

Weaver contrasts outward adornment with the 'ornament of a meek and quiet spirit' and connects it to Proverbs 31.

Scripture References

1 Kings 21:25: Key text: Ahab sold himself to wickedness, stirred up by Jezebel his wife.
1 Corinthians 11:3: God's order: head of every man is Christ, head of woman is man, head of Christ is God.
1 Timothy 2:8-15: Instructions for men and women in the church; women to learn in silence, not teach or usurp authority; reasons from creation and Fall.
1 Timothy 3:15: Key verse of 1 Timothy: how to behave in the house of God.
Romans 5:12: Sin entered the world through one man (Adam).
Ephesians 5:22-33: Wives submit to husbands as to the Lord; husbands love wives as Christ loved the church; wife must reverence husband.
1 Kings 16:31: Ahab married Jezebel and served Baal.
Revelation 2:20: The woman Jezebel in Thyatira who seduces God's servants.
Romans 6:16: You are slaves to whom you obey, whether sin or obedience.
1 Kings 21:7: Jezebel promises to give Ahab Naboth's vineyard.
2 Kings 9:26: God saw the blood of Naboth and his sons and will requite it.
1 Kings 11:1-11: Solomon's foreign wives turned his heart to idols; God's anger and judgment.
1 Peter 3:1-6: Wives, be subject to husbands; win them by chaste conduct; adornment of a gentle spirit; example of Sarah.
Romans 10:17: Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Philippians 4:8: Think on things that are pure (same Greek word as 'chaste').
Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-31: The virtuous woman: her price far above rubies; husband trusts her; she does him good; her works praise her.
1 Corinthians 7:1-5: Mentioned as showing the power and influence husbands and wives have over each other.
John 14:28: Jesus said, 'My Father is greater than I,' demonstrating submission within the Godhead.
John 10:30: Jesus said, 'I and my Father are one,' showing equality of essence but distinction in role.

Historical References

Adam Clarke's commentary on Ahab and Jezebel: Clarke described Jezebel as hostile to true religion, practicing idolatry openly, persecuting God's prophets, and being hideously cruel.
Benedict Arnold and Peggy Shippen: Peggy Shippen, a loyalist-leaning woman, coaxed her husband Benedict Arnold into betraying West Point to the British during the American Revolution.
Major John Andre: British spy who communicated with Peggy Shippen and met with Benedict Arnold to arrange the betrayal of West Point.
George Washington: Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army, who would have been captured if Arnold's plot had succeeded.

Important Quotes

But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up.

The foundational text of the sermon, showing the evil influence a wife can have.

a wife who is not in submission to her husband biblically, is not in submission to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Connects marital submission directly to obedience to Christ.

the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Highlights the often-neglected command for wives to reverence their husbands.

they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

Shows the evangelistic power of a wife's godly conduct.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Summarizes the biblical priority of character over external appearance.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

How does understanding God's order of authority (God, Christ, man, woman) affect the way we view marriage roles?

[Context]

Weaver establishes this order from 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 1 Timothy 2.

[Question]

In what ways can a wife's influence be used for evil, and how can we guard against that?

[Context]

The examples of Jezebel, Solomon's wives, and Peggy Shippen illustrate destructive influence.

[Question]

What does it mean for a wife to 'reverence' her husband, and why is this commanded even if the husband is not honorable?

[Context]

Weaver explains 'reverence' from Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Peter 3:2, emphasizing honor for the position.

[Question]

How can a godly wife practically 'win' her unbelieving husband without a word?

[Context]

1 Peter 3:1-2 is discussed, focusing on chaste conduct and the meaning of 'conversation' and 'won.'

[Question]

Why does God place such emphasis on the 'hidden man of the heart' and a 'meek and quiet spirit' over outward adornment?

[Context]

Weaver contrasts 1 Peter 3:3-4 with worldly values and connects it to Proverbs 31.

[Question]

How does the husband's love for his wife as Christ loved the church enable her submission?

[Context]

Weaver states that when a husband loves sacrificially, it is easy for a wife to submit.

Applications

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