The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife

Where Are The Real Women?

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2021-02-07

Synopsis: Pastor John Weaver examines Proverbs 31:30 to define a 'real woman' as one who fears the Lord, contrasting external charm and beauty with inner godliness. He critiques modern culture's decline in work ethic and character, then expounds the virtuous woman's traits: trustworthiness, industry, compassion, foresight, and honor toward her husband. The sermon concludes that godliness excels all, and both men and women should seek to fear the Lord.

[John Weaver] One and look if you would please at verse 30 Proverbs 31 and verse 30 Just one verse we will be able to look at the entire passage momentarily, but right now just verse 30 The title of the message is, where are the real women? You should understand shortly. Verse 30, the Bible says, favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Now, the title of the message, where the real women may be misunderstood by some. That title is not a call for gender identification. When Alice and I were growing up one could easily distinguish between men and women and men wanted to be men and they wanted everybody to know that they were men and women wanted to be women and they also wanted everyone to know that they were women.

[John Weaver] We were not ashamed of the way that God created us and neither were we confused about our genders and we certainly did not want to cross any barrier that God had erected Now the question in the title of this message actually deals with a truly biblical and godly woman. And our text makes it exceedingly clear that a real woman is one that fears the Lord. The same thing is said concerning a real man. He is one that fears the Lord.

[John Weaver] David said it like this in Psalm 86 and verse 11. He said, teach me thy way, O Lord, and I will walk in thy truth. unite my heart to fear thy name." So the real men and the real women are ones who actually fear the Lord. And talking about being a real man, I'd much rather be a little David than a giant Goliath. And the truth of the matter is you found out who the real man was because it was little David who came out on top during that battle, obviously. I've often said, though, in regards to both men and women, that as far as men are concerned, we have sired a generation of spineless, gutless, ignorant, and worthless individuals that go by the title of men. And likewise, I've also said that we've sired a generation of young women that cannot cook, cannot clean, cannot sew, cannot garden, cannot keep house, cannot raise children, and cannot love their husbands. And it seems like today both men and women refused to grow up and refused to be mature.

[John Weaver] Most of the time now you find that most men and women sit around, watch TV, play games, read trashy magazines, and refuse to take responsibility for their lives. If you take an overview of the average individual today, you will find and you will discover that most people want everything handed to them on a silver platter. When you stop and consider the fact that most people today can survive on the governmental dough, EBT cards and stimulus checks and any other thing that they can grasp from the government, and they can survive on that, they're exceedingly happy. There's no work involved, there's no responsibility, there's no incentive, there's no concern, there's no desire to improve their status, and usually, There's not even a whimper of gratitude for everything that is handed to them and given to them.

[John Weaver] They could just simply demand it and could care less about being thankful for anything. And I've often said, I absolutely have no respect for any man or any woman that lies around the house, refuses to dress, and refuses to work, and even refuses to try to help themselves. The Bible says in 2 Thessalonians 3 and verse 10, The Apostle Paul said, even when we were among you, we commanded you that if any will not work, neither should he eat.

[John Weaver] Have you ever stopped to think that that would be a very easy way to rid the welfare roles of individuals? Just let them starve. You say that's cruel. No, it's not cruel. You see, the truth of the matter is if a man thought he was really starving, he'd get up and get to work and get something to eat. He would not starve. At least most people would not. There may be some stupid enough to do that, but most people would not. But as long as you continue to hand people everything that they want without any work, then they're going to be content to remain on the dole.

[John Weaver] All you have to do is read one little book. The title of it is The American Indian, written by R.J. Rushdoony. Rushdoony was a missionary to the Indians for 11 years. The little book is probably not more than I don't know, a third of an inch thick, something like that. But it's absolutely astounding because the book details and shows you how our own government literally destroyed the Indians by giving them everything and by making them totally dependent upon the federal government. And of course, in that book, he also points out that the same thing is happening and has happened to the black race. When you consider the black race today, most of them are absolutely totally dependent upon the government.

[John Weaver] I realize not all, I understand that. But what has happened to the Indian has also happened to the blacks. And what has happened to the blacks is also happening to the whites. Because obviously, there is now no desire to work. It seems as if The government's intent is to keep everybody on the reservation. And the work ethic of any and every race has basically been destroyed in order to keep people in subservience to the controlling elite. And no doubt, guaranteed universal income will finish us off because people now will no longer have to work.

[John Weaver] They just simply hold their hands out and they get whatever they need. Now, when we think about Proverbs 31, and we're talking about a real woman, a real man a little bit later. But when you think about Proverbs chapter 31, there's a lot that has been preached and proclaimed and taught concerning the virtuous woman. But before I show you the truth concerning the virtuous woman, I want us to look at verse 30 and analyze this verse before we go any further.

[John Weaver] You say, well, why should we understand this? And the answer is because most men usually do not know what to look for in a wife. And the truth of the matter is, most women do not know what to look for in a husband. That's a different sermon, but it's the truth as well. But our Lord, in verse 30, makes two declarations that are very offensive and contrary to the flesh. Well, what are they? Look in verse 30. The very first one is this, favor is deceitful. Favor is deceitful. Now, the Hebrew word for favor here actually is translated as favor in our Bibles, but it's also translated as precious and pleasant and well-favored.

[John Weaver] But it refers to what you and I would call grace and charm and elegance. And everyone has met a very charming, elegant woman that has been duly impressed. However, if you look at verse 30, he says this, favor is deceitful. Now the word deceitful refers to that which is false, vain, wrong, a lie, a deception, and a disappointment. And interestingly enough, the same Hebrew word is translated in our Bibles as lie 28 times and as liar one time. So he says very clearly there, favor is deceitful, favor is a lie. Now, every one of us have heard and read about polished women, and that usually refers to those women who have been schooled and trained in the graces of elegance. In fact, in times past, wealthy men were in the habit of always sending their daughters to charm schools. One may learn the habits and ways of charm and favor without being charming and without being favorable in and of themselves. So we must understand then that favor, grace, and charm and elegance will fade.

[John Weaver] Moreover, sometimes it is nothing more than a charade. It is a facade. It is a fakery. The Bible says that favor is a deceit. And when anyone estimates then a woman or his wife or the works of a wife merely by the loveliness and the charming of her external character or external physical being, the Bible says he is deceived because favor is deceitful.

[John Weaver] Now, Matthew Poole said it like this, It favor gives a false representation of the person, being oftentimes a cover to a most deformed soul and to many evil and hateful qualities, partly because it doth not give a man that content and satisfaction which at first he promised himself from it, and partly because it is soon lost, not only by death, but by many diseases and contingencies." So he says that favor is deceitful.

[John Weaver] Here's the second offensive truth, and that is that beauty is vain. Well, you could ask yourself this question, or what man has not been struck by a beautiful woman. Beauty oftentimes is indeed in the eye of the beholder, yet it is beauty that normally attracts both men and women. Women will look for the handsome men and men will look for the beautiful woman. But according to the scripture, beauty is vain.

[John Weaver] Now the Hebrew word for vain here means not only vanity and that which is vain, But it is also translated in the Bible as a vapor or as a breath. On a good crisp morning, you can go outside and blow your breath and you can see it momentarily. And then it disappears. And that's exactly what he's saying here, that beauty is vain. It's a vapor. It goes away. There's been many jokes made concerning beauty and ugliness. One wit said that ugliness is superior to beauty because ugliness lasts. Well, maybe it does. But the truth of the matter is we can joke all day long, but the Bible says that beauty is vain. I must also point out the fact that normally what we call ugliness sometimes hides real beauty. And the truth of the matter is most of the time we are attracted by that which is on the outside and we never really consider that which is on the inside.

[John Weaver] So let me give you a couple of illustrations. Years ago I met a well-favored young woman and she was a, I would say, she would have been a very attractive young woman. She was well favored, but she had a nose like a hawk. And when I first saw her, the first thought that hit my mind was this. This is the ugliest woman I guess I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, the truth of the matter is, I got to know that young woman. And over several months in talking to her and discussing her and talking about things, I discovered that this young woman was one of the sweetest, kindest, most godly young women that I'd ever met. And what I thought was ugly turned out to be exceedingly beautiful.

[John Weaver] In fact, Alice and I had she and her fiancé over to our house for supper one night, I called her name and I said, let me tell you, if I was not already married, I'd do everything in my power to take you away from your fiancee and I'd marry you myself. So it was interesting. The woman that I thought was the ugliest woman I'd ever met turned out to be one of the most beautiful women because of her character.

[John Weaver] and her godliness and her inner disposition. On the other hand, years ago, I went to a certain state for a meeting. I knew the pastor, but I'd never ever met his wife. And he came the first night to pick me up to take me to supper before we went out to church. And his wife was sitting in the back seat. And of course, I was introduced and I spoke to her. And the first thought that struck my mind when I saw her was, my, what a beautiful woman, what a gorgeous woman. And she was beautiful. And I thought, this is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life. I wasn't in that car 10 minutes before I was saying to myself, thank God I'm not married to that woman.

[John Weaver] Her beauty, had become instant and sheer ugliness, because her looks shielded a deformed spirit, an arrogant attitude, and a rude disposition." So one that was beautiful became exceedingly ugly, and one that was ugly became exceedingly beautiful. A lot of people, a lot of men, they said, well, I'm going to marry this woman. She's beautiful. Well, let me ask you a question. And think about this, would you consider to love her even after she ceased to become beautiful? There are many things that can change beauty. I mean, you can have an honorable bill rec, you can have an accent, you can have disease, you can have old age, you can do a lot of things, and you have to understand that beauty fades and disappears.

[John Weaver] John Gill said it like this, listen carefully. He said, a well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind." And you know, and I just stopped right there, and I put something in my notes, and I just simply wrote the name Jezebel. You know, in all probability, Jezebel was a good-looking woman.

[John Weaver] When you stop and think about that, even when Jehu came up and she figured that she was going to be killed anyhow, what did the Bible say? She painted her face and she tired her head and looked out the window and she asked, did Zimri have peace who slew his master? In other words, learn a lesson from history before you try to kill me.

[John Weaver] Now, but look how wicked, how vile she was. He says, a well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind. And that is certainly true. Now, you contrast this, and if you look in verse 30, he says, favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but, here's the contrast, A woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised." So a woman that fears the Lord may or may not have charm. A woman that fears the Lord may or may not be physically beautiful, yet she is morally, intellectually, and spiritually beautiful. And her works demonstrate the fact that she does fear the Lord. Look in verse 31.

[John Weaver] We'll come back to that. He says,"...give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her, in the gates.

[John Weaver] Now, you see, many Christians are able to quote Proverbs 1 in verse 7, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Many can also quote Proverbs chapter 9 in verse 10, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy's understanding. So it's not whether or not we can actually quote these verses, it's whether or not we can actually apply them in our lives. So the question is, Can we apply them? The woman, the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is the one that fears the Lord. If she fears the Lord, then that fear of the Lord is going to be evidenced with wisdom and understanding. And that fear is going to be evidenced in her works and how she lives and how she acts. Now, I want you to look in verse 10, because here's the question. Who can find a virtuous woman?

[John Weaver] Then he says, for her price is far above rubies. When you look at the word virtuous in the Hebrew, the word virtuous refers to someone of strength, honor, valor, ability, and efficiency. That's the virtuous woman. And you can only find those attributes in the Lord. So I want to point out very quickly in this verse, or in this chapter, some truths concerning the virtuous woman. And then we're going to tie it together toward the end again. But look in verse 10. He asks who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies.

[John Weaver] Now read verses 11 and 12. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. So the Bible says the heart of her husband does safely trust in her. So the real woman, the virtuous woman, is the one that fears the Lord in whom her husband may safely and rightly place his trust.

[John Weaver] She is not against him, she is for him. She will honor him. She will not abuse him. She will not misuse him. She will be satisfied with his provision and he will have no need of spoil. Now, when the Bible says that in verse 11, the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. The word spoil refers to plunder, booty, prey, dishonest gain in booty.

[John Weaver] In other words, she is not going to drive him into some type of wickedness just to satisfy her outlandish desires or what she thinks that she needs when in reality she doesn't. In other words, she's not going to be a Jezebel. Years ago when Alice and I first got married, I worked for a man by the name of Ed Chambers who work at State Farm Insurance. He was a State Farm agent and I worked in the office and there was a school nearby and we had the man insured who was the president of that school. He was an older man, not an attractive man by any stretch of the imagination, but he had a position and I'm sure that that position had a little bit of money.

[John Weaver] I remember his much younger wife, would walk by our office in high heels. We had full plate glass windows. She would walk by in high heels, dressed to the absolute tee, with a fur around her shoulders, rings on about every finger. with a little leash in her hand and the little toy poodle who had a diamond necklace on and painted toenails. Every time I would see her, I could not help but think, and her husband can't even pay his insurance. I'm serious.

[John Weaver] He was either always late or had to make it in payments because he never had any money. And I've often wondered where all that money went, and I think I discovered it when I would watch her walk down the street. In other words, she was outlandish. And this is what the Bible is saying. Here is a woman of integrity. She's not going to demand that her husband give her things that she knows he can't possibly afford. She is not going to drive him to be a wicked man. She's not going to be a Jezebel. Notice if you would, secondly, the virtuous woman is also a woman of industry.

[John Weaver] Look in verses 13 through 19. She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hand, she planted the vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

[John Weaver] She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the destaff.

[John Weaver] Now skip down to verse 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchants. In other words, this virtuous woman is a worker. She is no sluggard. She does not lie around in her pajamas until noon. She's not occupied with the TV and soap operas and magazines or idolists. She is up before dawn providing for her house. She gardens, she sews, she cooks. Wow!

[John Weaver] She works into the night. Look in verse 13 again. Watch this. She seeketh wool and flax and worketh, what is that next word? Willingly. She worketh willingly. She is not made to work. She is not forced to work. She wants to work and she does so willingly. She keeps her house. She keeps her garden. She keeps her fruit trees. She works. She has a biblical work ethic.

[John Weaver] She's also industrious in the sense that she makes and sells her goods. She is working from the inside of her home. and she's delivering her goods to the merchants. She is sharp, she understands the economy. Incidentally, I've probably told you this before, but you may have forgotten it, so I'll tell you again. We get an awful lot of English words straight from the Greek. Economy is one of those words. Our English word economy is made up of two Greek words, oikos nomos. Oikos is the Greek word for house, nomos law. It actually means the law of the house or a household law or household management. So she understands economy. She understands the law of the house. She understands household management.

[John Weaver] So this woman is not only a woman of integrity. She's not only a woman of industry. Notice verse 20. She's also a woman that is involved. She stretches out her hand to the poor. Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She has a concern for others. She's compassionate. And she does not simply labor for herself or just for her family. She always has an interest in her neighbors and the poor as well.

[John Weaver] Now, here's what I want you to note. Look in verse 20 again. She stretches out her hand, that is singular, to the poor. She reacheth forth her hands, plural, to the needy. In other words, here is a woman that gives liberally and gives graciously. Her liberality is very extensive, it reaches to many, it reaches at a distance, and it's done with great cheerfulness and readiness.

[John Weaver] Now, the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13 and verse 16, but to do good and communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. But to do good and to communicate, forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. And then when you look at Galatians 6 and verse 10, it says this, as we therefore have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto the household of faith. So we have an obligation to all men, generally speaking, but we have a special duty and obligation to the household of faith.

[John Weaver] So here's a woman that's involved in She's not concerned just with herself. She's not concerned just with her family, but she's also concerned with the poor as well.

[John Weaver] Fourth, if you'll notice verses 21 and 22, the virtuous woman is one that looks ahead. Look, if you would please, verse 21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. So let me spell this out for you. The virtuous woman is a prepper in one sense of the word. She looks ahead and she prepares. She thinks ahead and she knows what is coming.

[John Weaver] She follows the counsel of Proverbs 22 in verse 3, where the Bible says, A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself but the simple pass on and are punished. And so this woman is a prudent woman. She looks ahead. It may be spring and it's wonderful. It may be summer and it's warm, but she knows that winter is coming and she is not anxious now for the comfort and safety and health of her family because she has made preparation.

[John Weaver] Now look, if you would please, verse 21, she is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all of her household are clothed with scarlet."

[John Weaver] Now, I want to read to you what Albert Barnes said about the word scarlet. He said, for all of her household are clothed with scarlet. Not scholar for the color. Color can avail nothing in keeping off the cold, nor would it be a proper color for the bogs and the dirt of winter. Then he goes into the Hebrew word, but Shanin from Shanah, means to iterate or to double, signifies not only scarlet, so-called, from being twice or doubly dyed, but also double garments. Not only the ordinary coat, but also the great coat also, or a cloak to cover all. But most probably, this refers to double garments or two-fold what they are accustomed to wear is here intended.

[John Weaver] In other words, this woman is going to make sure that her family is warm in the winter. She's also concerned with that which is beautiful and appropriate. Look in verse 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. In other words, practicality and beauty are combined in her. She's not only practical, but she also takes care to make beautiful things as well. And fifth, let me point out, the virtuous woman makes sure that her husband is honored. Look in verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land."

[John Weaver] So here is a man who is renowned and noted for his wife's work and integrity. He sits in the gate. He is either a ruler or he is either a counselor or a diplomat. He is someone who is able to either rule or at least counsel rulers. Because all government in the Bible was in the gates. It was open. It was public. And if you sat in the gates, it meant that you were either a ruler, an elder, a diplomat, or a counselor.

[John Weaver] You were there for some reason. The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 4, a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but that she maketh ashamed is as rottenness to the bones. So a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh the shame is his rottenness to the bones. Now, I want you to note that this virtuous woman as a loving wife sees the need for the respectability and honor of her husband.

[John Weaver] Let me make a statement. He is placed first in her life. You say, I thought God was supposed to be first. Well, he is. But the way a wife places God first is by obedience. Just the same way a man places God first is by obedience. Let me show you. I want you to hold Proverbs 31, but look in your Bibles to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, and notice if you would please verse 33. Ephesians 5 and verse 33. Look at what God says. Ephesians 5 verse 33. He talks about the men and he says this, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. So the husband is to love his wife even as himself. And note this next part, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

[John Weaver] Now the word reverence is from the Greek word phobeo, which is normally translated as fear. But here in the context, it means to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, or with reverential respect and obedience. In other words, she makes sure that she not only honors her husband, but that others do as well. Her life promotes his life. Let me say this another way. Her life moves in terms of his life.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to think of the implication that we have in verse 23. When the Bible says her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders thereof. I want you to think about the entire context. This virtuous woman is a woman that works, she plans, she saves, she's frugal, she's charitable, she's generous, she's kind. It is her attitude and her actions that allow her husband to do what he must do, has to do, and what God has called him to do. It is not that the husband is lazy.

[John Weaver] It is not that he is indolent. It is not that he is slothful. There are other areas in which he is concerned. I'll give it to you like this. For years, and we still do, but for years Alice and I have had a garden. Every spring, I take the tractor and the harrow, and I harrow up that garden. Now, Alice plants it, she waters it, she weeds it, she picks it, she cooks it, she preserves it, but it's our garden.

[John Weaver] You say, well, you did very little. That's true, but it's our garden. I did the first part, she did the rest of it. Well, why am I not a gardener? Because I'm doing something else. For instance, I could say, you're welcome to come to our house. It is indeed our house, but she keeps it. She sweeps it, she mops the floors, she vacuums, she does the dishes, she washes the clothes, she makes the bed, she plans and cooks the meals, but it's our house. She knows where everything is in the house.

[John Weaver] I know where my books are. I know where some of my clothes are, but if I want something else, I have to ask her because she puts it up. She knows where it is, but still our house. You see what I'm saying?

[John Weaver] Now, the point I'm trying to make is very simple. I could never do the studying and the preparation that I must have for preaching without her. It is her work. It is her attitude. that allows me to fulfill the role which God has called me unto. That is why, if you will remember, God said it's not good for the man to be alone. I will make an help meet for him. And the word meet literally means I will make a helper suitable unto him. I will make a helper that would answer to his needs. And that is exactly the role model of the wife. It's the biblical role model. has called both the man and the wife to dominion, and we're both engaged in dominion, but we're engaging in dominion from different roles and different positions. Now, let me point something else.

[John Weaver] I want you to turn, if you would, to 1 Samuel chapter 30. Hold Proverbs 31, but look in 1 Samuel chapter 30, and as you turn there, I will tell you the story. 1 Samuel chapter 30. You see, the truth of the matter is this. Whatever success I have, she has. Whatever blessings I have, she has. You remember, Ziklag was a city of David. It was given to him by Achish, a Philistine king. And David had 600 men who rode with him. And their wives and children were in Ziklag. And while David was away, The Philistines came along, I believe it was, and burned Ziklag with fire. And they took all the wives and all the children and all the goods out of the city.

[John Weaver] And boy, everybody was so upset. Everybody was weeping and crying. But when they got back, they found all their wives and children were gone and everything was gone. And David asked the Lord, shall I pursue? The Lord said, yes. Will I overtake them? The Lord said, yes. Will I be victorious? The Lord said, yes. Well, out of David's 600 men, 200 of them were so faint, they could not go.

[John Weaver] They had wept and wept and cried and just weren't able to go. And so David took the 400 men and he went and captured and brought back every man, his wife, all the children, all the goods, and even more that was stolen from Ziklag, because these people had been on a robbing spree, and David brought it all back. So some of the wicked men who were with David decided, well, here's what we're going to do. We're going to give to every man his wife and every man his children, but the rest is stuff we're going to keep for ourselves. Look what David said. 1 Samuel chapter 30. Look, if you would please, at verse 24. David said, for who will hearken to you in this matter? But as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that teareth by the stuff. They shall part alike." Did you hear that? They shall part alike.

[John Weaver] So, when a husband and wife work together, they may not necessarily be doing exactly the same thing. But they're both exercising dominion. And God says whatever blessings and whatever success the husband has, they shall part and they shall part alike. In other words, they are one in Christ.

[John Weaver] Now, let me point something else out. I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. The virtuous woman is also one that is honorable and honored. So let's begin reading there with verse 25. The Bible says strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come. Let me just stop there. We'll read a little bit more just momentarily. But look at verse 25. Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come. The two words strength and honor in reference to her clothing certainly does not mean that she was just simply well-dressed. Certainly she probably was because obviously this was a hard-working woman, but this refers to her character. It refers to her integrity. Strength and honor are her clothing. whole Proverbs 31 and turn in your Bibles first to 1st Timothy chapter 2 and then we're going to 1st Peter chapter 3. So look in 1st Timothy chapter 2, 1st Timothy chapter 2 and let's begin reading there with verse 9. 1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 9.

[John Weaver] The Bible says in like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety. Now look, not with broidered hair or gold or pearls or costly array. In other words, don't let that be all there is to you. But here's what you must have, but which becometh women professing godliness with good works. In other words, he's saying, let your beauty be on the inside. Not on the outside. Don't depend on your hair, or your gold, or pearls, or fancy dress. No, no, no.

[John Weaver] You be a godly woman. Look now in 1 Peter chapter 3. And let's begin reading there with verse 1. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 1. Watch. God says, likewise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation that would be the conduct of the wives.

[John Weaver] Now look, while they behold your chase, that is your pure conversation or conduct coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or putting on of apparel, But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well and not afraid with any amazement.

[John Weaver] Then he says, likewise, you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as into the weaker vessel. And it's being airs together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. But note, if you would. He says in verse 4, Ladies, let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner, that is the character, the integrity, the honor. In this manner, of old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord."

[John Weaver] Now, just to show you that each of us are still sinners, and just to show you and to demonstrate that none of us are perfect, Ms. Effie, after 58 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me Lord. I don't understand that. But even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, she just hasn't done that to me yet. But anyhow, but you notice if you would, the emphasis in both of these passages, as well as Proverbs 31, deals with character, integrity, and godliness. Now, I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. Because the rest of this passage will demonstrate exactly what I've just said. Look if you would at verse 26, after he said, that strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come, and she will, and I'll show you why just momentarily. But look in verse 26, the Bible says, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Hmm, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

[John Weaver] I want to give you two quotes. The first one is by the old Puritan John Trapp. He said this, Her mouth is not always open, but duly shut, and discreetly opened. Her words are few, true, and ponderous. The stream and current of her conference tends either to wisdom or kindness, that is, to duties either of piety or charity. Then Adam Clark said it like this. In her tongue is the law of kindness.

[John Weaver] This is the most distinguishing excellence of this woman. There are very few of those who are called managing women who are not lords over their husbands, tyrants over their servants, and insolent among their neighbors. But this woman, with all her eminence and excellence, who is of a meek and quiet spirit, blessed woman." In other words, God is saying that she's not a loud mouth, unruly, insolent, churlish woman. No, no. Out of her mouth came kindness and wisdom. She's not bitter. She's not hateful. She's not resentful. She's not revengeful. She's not insulting. She's not unkind. She honors her husband. She honors her children.

[John Weaver] And of course, they in turn arise and honor her. Watch this if you would please. Go back and look at verse 25. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. Now skip down to verse 28. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. It is important for you to grasp this one point. that those who know this woman most intimately are those who are constantly blessing her and praising her.

[John Weaver] They have observed her godly character for years. They know it is not hypocritical. They know it is not a facade. They know it's not a show. They know that it's real and genuine. Let me tell you something. Listen carefully. Husbands and wives can fool those on the outside. But they cannot fool each other. Fathers and mothers and children can fool those on the outside, but they cannot fool each other. And if you'll note, the Bible says in verse 28, her children arise up and call her blessed, and her husband also, he praises her. In other words, in this woman, those who know her the most intimately, are the ones who are blessing her and praising her because they understand the genuineness of her life. That's why he said in verse 25, she shall rejoice in time to come. So. For the godly woman, if she wants and desires and longs for the recognition and praise and honor. From her children and from her husband. Then she is required to live a consistent godly and fateful life.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to see the conclusion that God gives based upon this virtuous woman. So let's go to verse 29 again. He says this, Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands. and let her own works praise her in the gates." So let me make some applications and I want you to think about this.

[John Weaver] I began this message by asking, where are the real women? And by that question I was referring to real women of honesty, worth, character, integrity, women who love their husbands, Women that honor their husbands. Women that enable their husbands to fulfill the role that God has called them unto. Such women excel above all other women. This is indeed the virtuous woman. Any young woman who really truly wants to be a holy godly woman should really study Proverbs 31 and emulate this virtuous woman. Because the virtuous woman is always one that fears the Lord Jesus Christ.

[John Weaver] Now, let me show you something I found interesting. I want you to turn in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 1. I want you to watch this. Look in Proverbs chapter 1, and I want to read the first five verses, and then I'm going to point something out. Proverbs chapter 1. Watch it. The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity, to give subtlety to the simple and to the young man, knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels. Look, if you would, The very first verses of Proverbs chapter 1 deal with the wise man. The wise man is one that fears the Lord and follows instruction and understanding. And this same book ends now in Proverbs 31 with the wise woman who fears the Lord. So the book of Proverbs ends just as it begins. but it begins with the wise man and it ends with the wise woman.

[John Weaver] So a wise man who is looking for a wife will always look primarily for a godly wife, a woman of character and integrity. Also you could say that a wise woman is going to look for a godly man, a man of character and integrity. So let me just spell it out for you in one sentence. According to Proverbs 31 and according to Proverbs 1, godliness is far better than favor and fame and beauty. Because the woman that fears the Lord and the man that fears the Lord. Or the individuals of character and holiness and integrity. It's the fear of the Lord that produces those attributes. So favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But godliness, and one that fears the Lord, excels everything.

[John Weaver] Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we bow to Thee. We thank You for Your Word. Your truth. And Lord, we admit and confess our own failures so many times. And yet, Lord, we do ask Thee to make us holy, to make us godly, to make us obedient. May we honor Thee and honor each other. And may, Father, we glorify Thee in all that we say and do. And we pray and ask, Father, that You would make us real women and real men in the sense that we fear the Lord and obey Him. Give us Your grace, we pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, in whose name we ask these things. Amen.

[John Weaver] ♪

Where Are The Real Women?

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	EAIOej6DhP0
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2021-02-07
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 26
Source Timed Segments	73

Formatted Transcript

Introduction: Defining a Real Woman

Weaver introduces Proverbs 31:30 and clarifies that the title refers to a biblical, godly woman who fears the Lord, not gender identity.

One, and look if you would please at verse 30, Proverbs 31 and verse 30. Just one verse; we will be able to look at the entire passage momentarily, but right now just verse 30. The title of the message is, "Where Are the Real Women?" You should understand shortly. Verse 30, the Bible says,

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:30

"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

Now, the title of the message, "Where the Real Women," may be misunderstood by some. That title is not a call for gender identification. When Alice and I were growing up, one could easily distinguish between men and women, and men wanted to be men and they wanted everybody to know that they were men, and women wanted to be women and they also wanted everyone to know that they were women.

We were not ashamed of the way that God created us, and neither were we confused about our genders, and we certainly did not want to cross any barrier that God had erected. Now, the question in the title of this message actually deals with a truly biblical and godly woman. And our text makes it exceedingly clear that a real woman is one that fears the Lord. The same thing is said concerning a real man. He is one that fears the Lord.

The Problem with Modern Men and Women

Weaver laments a generation of irresponsible, dependent individuals who lack work ethic and maturity, citing 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

David said it like this in Psalm 86 and verse 11. He said,

Scripture Reading — Psalm 86:11

"Teach me thy way, O Lord, and I will walk in thy truth; unite my heart to fear thy name."

So the real men and the real women are ones who actually fear the Lord. And talking about being a real man, I'd much rather be a little David than a giant Goliath. And the truth of the matter is you found out who the real man was because it was little David who came out on top during that battle, obviously. I've often said, though, in regards to both men and women, that as far as men are concerned, we have sired a generation of spineless, gutless, ignorant, and worthless individuals that go by the title of men. And likewise, I've also said that we've sired a generation of young women that cannot cook, cannot clean, cannot sew, cannot garden, cannot keep house, cannot raise children, and cannot love their husbands. And it seems like today both men and women refuse to grow up and refuse to be mature.

Most of the time now you find that most men and women sit around, watch TV, play games, read trashy magazines, and refuse to take responsibility for their lives. If you take an overview of the average individual today, you will find and you will discover that most people want everything handed to them on a silver platter. When you stop and consider the fact that most people today can survive on the governmental dole, EBT cards and stimulus checks and any other thing that they can grasp from the government, and they can survive on that, they're exceedingly happy. There's no work involved, there's no responsibility, there's no incentive, there's no concern, there's no desire to improve their status, and usually, there's not even a whimper of gratitude for everything that is handed to them and given to them.

They could just simply demand it and could care less about being thankful for anything. And I've often said, I absolutely have no respect for any man or any woman that lies around the house, refuses to dress, and refuses to work, and even refuses to try to help themselves. The Bible says in 2 Thessalonians 3 and verse 10, the Apostle Paul said,

Scripture Reading — 2 Thessalonians 3:10

"Even when we were among you, we commanded you that if any will not work, neither should he eat."

Have you ever stopped to think that that would be a very easy way to rid the welfare roles of individuals? Just let them starve. You say that's cruel. No, it's not cruel. You see, the truth of the matter is if a man thought he was really starving, he'd get up and get to work and get something to eat. He would not starve. At least most people would not. There may be some stupid enough to do that, but most people would not. But as long as you continue to hand people everything that they want without any work, then they're going to be content to remain on the dole.

Government Dependency Destroys Work Ethic

Using Rushdoony's book on American Indians, Weaver argues that government handouts have destroyed the work ethic across races, leading to universal dependency.

All you have to do is read one little book. The title of it is "The American Indian," written by R.J. Rushdoony. Rushdoony was a missionary to the Indians for 11 years. The little book is probably not more than, I don't know, a third of an inch thick, something like that. But it's absolutely astounding because the book details and shows you how our own government literally destroyed the Indians by giving them everything and by making them totally dependent upon the federal government. And of course, in that book, he also points out that the same thing is happening and has happened to the black race. When you consider the black race today, most of them are absolutely totally dependent upon the government.

I realize not all, I understand that. But what has happened to the Indian has also happened to the blacks. And what has happened to the blacks is also happening to the whites. Because obviously, there is now no desire to work. It seems as if the government's intent is to keep everybody on the reservation. And the work ethic of any and every race has basically been destroyed in order to keep people in subservience to the controlling elite. And no doubt, guaranteed universal income will finish us off because people now will no longer have to work.

They just simply hold their hands out and they get whatever they need. Now, when we think about Proverbs 31, and we're talking about a real woman, a real man a little bit later. But when you think about Proverbs chapter 31, there's a lot that has been preached and proclaimed and taught concerning the virtuous woman. But before I show you the truth concerning the virtuous woman, I want us to look at verse 30 and analyze this verse before we go any further.

Exposition of Proverbs 31:30: Favor and Beauty

Weaver explains that 'favor' (charm, elegance) is deceitful and 'beauty' is vain (a vapor), warning against judging by externals.

You say, well, why should we understand this? And the answer is because most men usually do not know what to look for in a wife. And the truth of the matter is, most women do not know what to look for in a husband. That's a different sermon, but it's the truth as well. But our Lord, in verse 30, makes two declarations that are very offensive and contrary to the flesh. Well, what are they? Look in verse 30. The very first one is this, favor is deceitful. Favor is deceitful. Now, the Hebrew word for favor here actually is translated as favor in our Bibles, but it's also translated as precious and pleasant and well-favored.

But it refers to what you and I would call grace and charm and elegance. And everyone has met a very charming, elegant woman that has been duly impressed. However, if you look at verse 30, he says this, favor is deceitful. Now the word deceitful refers to that which is false, vain, wrong, a lie, a deception, and a disappointment. And interestingly enough, the same Hebrew word is translated in our Bibles as lie 28 times and as liar one time. So he says very clearly there, favor is deceitful, favor is a lie. Now, every one of us have heard and read about polished women, and that usually refers to those women who have been schooled and trained in the graces of elegance. In fact, in times past, wealthy men were in the habit of always sending their daughters to charm schools. One may learn the habits and ways of charm and favor without being charming and without being favorable in and of themselves. So we must understand then that favor, grace, and charm and elegance will fade.

Moreover, sometimes it is nothing more than a charade. It is a facade. It is a fakery. The Bible says that favor is a deceit. And when anyone estimates then a woman or his wife or the works of a wife merely by the loveliness and the charming of her external character or external physical being, the Bible says he is deceived because favor is deceitful.

Now, Matthew Poole said it like this, "It favor gives a false representation of the person, being oftentimes a cover to a most deformed soul and to many evil and hateful qualities, partly because it doth not give a man that content and satisfaction which at first he promised himself from it, and partly because it is soon lost, not only by death, but by many diseases and contingencies." So he says that favor is deceitful. Here's the second offensive truth, and that is that beauty is vain. Well, you could ask yourself this question, or what man has not been struck by a beautiful woman. Beauty oftentimes is indeed in the eye of the beholder, yet it is beauty that normally attracts both men and women. Women will look for the handsome men and men will look for the beautiful woman. But according to the scripture, beauty is vain.

Illustrations of Inner vs. Outer Beauty

Personal stories show how a seemingly ugly woman proved beautiful in character, while a beautiful woman revealed an ugly spirit.

So let me give you a couple of illustrations. Years ago I met a well-favored young woman and she was a, I would say, she would have been a very attractive young woman. She was well favored, but she had a nose like a hawk. And when I first saw her, the first thought that hit my mind was this. This is the ugliest woman I guess I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, the truth of the matter is, I got to know that young woman. And over several months in talking to her and discussing her and talking about things, I discovered that this young woman was one of the sweetest, kindest, most godly young women that I'd ever met. And what I thought was ugly turned out to be exceedingly beautiful.

In fact, Alice and I had she and her fiancé over to our house for supper one night, I called her name and I said, let me tell you, if I was not already married, I'd do everything in my power to take you away from your fiancee and I'd marry you myself. So it was interesting. The woman that I thought was the ugliest woman I'd ever met turned out to be one of the most beautiful women because of her character. and her godliness and her inner disposition. On the other hand, years ago, I went to a certain state for a meeting. I knew the pastor, but I'd never ever met his wife. And he came the first night to pick me up to take me to supper before we went out to church. And his wife was sitting in the back seat. And of course, I was introduced and I spoke to her. And the first thought that struck my mind when I saw her was, my, what a beautiful woman, what a gorgeous woman. And she was beautiful. And I thought, this is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life. I wasn't in that car 10 minutes before I was saying to myself, thank God I'm not married to that woman.

Her beauty had become instant and sheer ugliness, because her looks shielded a deformed spirit, an arrogant attitude, and a rude disposition." So one that was beautiful became exceedingly ugly, and one that was ugly became exceedingly beautiful. A lot of people, a lot of men, they said, well, I'm going to marry this woman. She's beautiful. Well, let me ask you a question. And think about this, would you consider to love her even after she ceased to become beautiful? There are many things that can change beauty. I mean, you can have an automobile wreck, you can have an accident, you can have disease, you can have old age, you can do a lot of things, and you have to understand that beauty fades and disappears.

John Gill said it like this, listen carefully. He said, "A well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind." And you know, and I just stopped right there, and I put something in my notes, and I just simply wrote the name Jezebel. You know, in all probability, Jezebel was a good-looking woman.

The Virtuous Woman's Character and Works

Weaver details the virtuous woman's traits: trustworthiness, industry, compassion, foresight, and honoring her husband, all rooted in fearing the Lord.

Then he says, "For her price is far above rubies." When you look at the word virtuous in the Hebrew, the word virtuous refers to someone of strength, honor, valor, ability, and efficiency. That's the virtuous woman. And you can only find those attributes in the Lord. So I want to point out very quickly in this verse, or in this chapter, some truths concerning the virtuous woman. And then we're going to tie it together toward the end again. But look in verse 10. He asks, "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies."

Now read verses 11 and 12. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." So the Bible says the heart of her husband does safely trust in her. So the real woman, the virtuous woman, is the one that fears the Lord in whom her husband may safely and rightly place his trust. She is not against him, she is for him. She will honor him. She will not abuse him. She will not misuse him. She will be satisfied with his provision and he will have no need of spoil. Now, when the Bible says that in verse 11, "The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil," the word spoil refers to plunder, booty, prey, dishonest gain in booty.

In other words, she is not going to drive him into some type of wickedness just to satisfy her outlandish desires or what she thinks that she needs when in reality she doesn't. In other words, she's not going to be a Jezebel. Years ago when Alice and I first got married, I worked for a man by the name of Ed Chambers who worked at State Farm Insurance. He was a State Farm agent and I worked in the office and there was a school nearby and we had the man insured who was the president of that school. He was an older man, not an attractive man by any stretch of the imagination, but he had a position and I'm sure that that position had a little bit of money. I remember his much younger wife would walk by our office in high heels. We had full plate glass windows. She would walk by in high heels, dressed to the absolute tee, with a fur around her shoulders, rings on about every finger, with a little leash in her hand and the little toy poodle who had a diamond necklace on and painted toenails. Every time I would see her, I could not help but think, and her husband can't even pay his insurance. I'm serious.

He was either always late or had to make it in payments because he never had any money. And I've often wondered where all that money went, and I think I discovered it when I would watch her walk down the street. In other words, she was outlandish. And this is what the Bible is saying. Here is a woman of integrity. She's not going to demand that her husband give her things that she knows he can't possibly afford. She is not going to drive him to be a wicked man. She's not going to be a Jezebel. Notice if you would, secondly, the virtuous woman is also a woman of industry.

Look in verses 13 through 19. "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hand, she planted the vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."

"She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff." Now skip down to verse 24. "She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchants." In other words, this virtuous woman is a worker. She is no sluggard. She does not lie around in her pajamas until noon. She's not occupied with the TV and soap operas and magazines or idleness. She is up before dawn providing for her house. She gardens, she sews, she cooks. Wow!

She works into the night. Look in verse 13 again. Watch this. "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh," what is that next word? Willingly. She worketh willingly. She is not made to work. She is not forced to work. She wants to work and she does so willingly. She keeps her house. She keeps her garden. She keeps her fruit trees. She works. She has a biblical work ethic.

She's also industrious in the sense that she makes and sells her goods. She is working from the inside of her home, and she's delivering her goods to the merchants. She is sharp, she understands the economy. Incidentally, I've probably told you this before, but you may have forgotten it, so I'll tell you again. We get an awful lot of English words straight from the Greek. Economy is one of those words. Our English word economy is made up of two Greek words, oikos nomos. Oikos is the Greek word for house, nomos law. It actually means the law of the house or a household law or household management. So she understands economy. She understands the law of the house. She understands household management.

So this woman is not only a woman of integrity. She's not only a woman of industry. Notice verse 20. She's also a woman that is involved. "She stretches out her hand to the poor. Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." She has a concern for others. She's compassionate. And she does not simply labor for herself or just for her family. She always has an interest in her neighbors and the poor as well.

Now, here's what I want you to note. Look in verse 20 again. "She stretches out her hand," that is singular, "to the poor. She reacheth forth her hands," plural, "to the needy." In other words, here is a woman that gives liberally and gives graciously. Her liberality is very extensive, it reaches to many, it reaches at a distance, and it's done with great cheerfulness and readiness.

Now, the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13 and verse 16,

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 13:16

"But to do good and communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

But to do good and to communicate, forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. And then when you look at Galatians 6 and verse 10, it says this, "As we therefore have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto the household of faith." So we have an obligation to all men, generally speaking, but we have a special duty and obligation to the household of faith. So here's a woman that's involved. She's not concerned just with herself. She's not concerned just with her family, but she's also concerned with the poor as well. Fourth, if you'll notice verses 21 and 22, the virtuous woman is one that looks ahead. Look, if you would please, verse 21. "She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple." So let me spell this out for you. The virtuous woman is a prepper in one sense of the word. She looks ahead and she prepares. She thinks ahead and she knows what is coming.

She follows the counsel of Proverbs 22 in verse 3, where the Bible says,

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 22:3

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."

And so this woman is a prudent woman. She looks ahead. It may be spring and it's wonderful. It may be summer and it's warm, but she knows that winter is coming and she is not anxious now for the comfort and safety and health of her family because she has made preparation.

Now look, if you would please, verse 21, "She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all of her household are clothed with scarlet." Now, I want to read to you what Albert Barnes said about the word scarlet. He said, "For all of her household are clothed with scarlet. Not scarlet for the color. Color can avail nothing in keeping off the cold, nor would it be a proper color for the bogs and the dirt of winter." Then he goes into the Hebrew word, but "Shanin" from "Shanah," means to iterate or to double, signifies not only scarlet, so-called, from being twice or doubly dyed, but also double garments. Not only the ordinary coat, but also the great coat also, or a cloak to cover all. But most probably, this refers to double garments or two-fold what they are accustomed to wear is here intended.

In other words, this woman is going to make sure that her family is warm in the winter. She's also concerned with that which is beautiful and appropriate. Look in verse 22. "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple." In other words, practicality and beauty are combined in her. She's not only practical, but she also takes care to make beautiful things as well. And fifth, let me point out, the virtuous woman makes sure that her husband is honored. Look in verse 23. "Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land."

So here is a man who is renowned and noted for his wife's work and integrity. He sits in the gate. He is either a ruler or he is either a counselor or a diplomat. He is someone who is able to either rule or at least counsel rulers. Because all government in the Bible was in the gates. It was open. It was public. And if you sat in the gates, it meant that you were either a ruler, an elder, a diplomat, or a counselor.

You were there for some reason. The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 4, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but that she maketh ashamed is as rottenness to the bones." So a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh the shame is as rottenness to the bones. Now, I want you to note that this virtuous woman as a loving wife sees the need for the respectability and honor of her husband. Let me make a statement. He is placed first in her life. You say, I thought God was supposed to be first. Well, he is. But the way a wife places God first is by obedience. Just the same way a man places God first is by obedience. Let me show you. I want you to hold Proverbs 31, but look in your Bibles to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, and notice if you would please verse 33. Ephesians 5 and verse 33. Look at what God says. Ephesians 5 verse 33. He talks about the men and he says this, "Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself." So the husband is to love his wife even as himself. And note this next part, "and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The Wife's Role in Enabling Her Husband

Using Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Samuel 30, Weaver teaches that a wife's reverence and work allow her husband to fulfill his God-given role, and they share in success.

Now the word reverence is from the Greek word phobeo, which is normally translated as fear. But here in the context, it means to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, or with reverential respect and obedience. In other words, she makes sure that she not only honors her husband, but that others do as well. Her life promotes his life. Let me say this another way. Her life moves in terms of his life.

Now, I want you to think of the implication that we have in verse 23. When the Bible says her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders thereof. I want you to think about the entire context. This virtuous woman is a woman that works, she plans, she saves, she's frugal, she's charitable, she's generous, she's kind. It is her attitude and her actions that allow her husband to do what he must do, has to do, and what God has called him to do. It is not that the husband is lazy. It is not that he is indolent. It is not that he is slothful. There are other areas in which he is concerned. I'll give it to you like this. For years, and we still do, but for years Alice and I have had a garden. Every spring, I take the tractor and the harrow, and I harrow up that garden. Now, Alice plants it, she waters it, she weeds it, she picks it, she cooks it, she preserves it, but it's our garden.

You say, well, you did very little. That's true, but it's our garden. I did the first part, she did the rest of it. Well, why am I not a gardener? Because I'm doing something else. For instance, I could say, you're welcome to come to our house. It is indeed our house, but she keeps it. She sweeps it, she mops the floors, she vacuums, she does the dishes, she washes the clothes, she makes the bed, she plans and cooks the meals, but it's our house. She knows where everything is in the house.

I know where my books are. I know where some of my clothes are, but if I want something else, I have to ask her because she puts it up. She knows where it is, but still our house. You see what I'm saying?

Now, the point I'm trying to make is very simple. I could never do the studying and the preparation that I must have for preaching without her. It is her work. It is her attitude that allows me to fulfill the role which God has called me unto. That is why, if you will remember, God said it's not good for the man to be alone. I will make an help meet for him. And the word meet literally means I will make a helper suitable unto him. I will make a helper that would answer to his needs. And that is exactly the role model of the wife. It's the biblical role model. God has called both the man and the wife to dominion, and we're both engaged in dominion, but we're engaging in dominion from different roles and different positions. Now, let me point something else.

I want you to turn, if you would, to 1 Samuel chapter 30. Hold Proverbs 31, but look in 1 Samuel chapter 30, and as you turn there, I will tell you the story. 1 Samuel chapter 30. You see, the truth of the matter is this. Whatever success I have, she has. Whatever blessings I have, she has. You remember, Ziklag was a city of David. It was given to him by Achish, a Philistine king. And David had 600 men who rode with him. And their wives and children were in Ziklag. And while David was away, the Philistines came along, I believe it was, and burned Ziklag with fire. And they took all the wives and all the children and all the goods out of the city.

And boy, everybody was so upset. Everybody was weeping and crying. But when they got back, they found all their wives and children were gone and everything was gone. And David asked the Lord, shall I pursue? The Lord said, yes. Will I overtake them? The Lord said, yes. Will I be victorious? The Lord said, yes. Well, out of David's 600 men, 200 of them were so faint, they could not go.

They had wept and wept and cried and just weren't able to go. And so David took the 400 men and he went and captured and brought back every man, his wife, all the children, all the goods, and even more that was stolen from Ziklag, because these people had been on a robbing spree, and David brought it all back. So some of the wicked men who were with David decided, well, here's what we're going to do. We're going to give to every man his wife and every man his children, but the rest is stuff we're going to keep for ourselves. Look what David said. 1 Samuel chapter 30. Look, if you would please, at verse 24. David said,

Scripture Reading — 1 Samuel 30:24

"For who will hearken to you in this matter? But as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that teareth by the stuff. They shall part alike."

Did you hear that? They shall part alike.

So, when a husband and wife work together, they may not necessarily be doing exactly the same thing. But they're both exercising dominion. And God says whatever blessings and whatever success the husband has, they shall part and they shall part alike. In other words, they are one in Christ.

Now, let me point something else out. I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. The virtuous woman is also one that is honorable and honored. So let's begin reading there with verse 25. The Bible says,

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:25

"Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come."

Let me just stop there. We'll read a little bit more just momentarily. But look at verse 25.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:25

"Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come."

The two words strength and honor in reference to her clothing certainly does not mean that she was just simply well-dressed. Certainly she probably was because obviously this was a hard-working woman, but this refers to her character. It refers to her integrity. Strength and honor are her clothing. Hold Proverbs 31 and turn in your Bibles first to 1st Timothy chapter 2 and then we're going to 1st Peter chapter 3. So look in 1st Timothy chapter 2, 1st Timothy chapter 2 and let's begin reading there with verse 9. 1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 9.

Inner Adorning and the Law of Kindness

Weaver contrasts external adornment with a meek and quiet spirit (1 Timothy 2, 1 Peter 3), emphasizing wisdom and kindness in speech.

The Bible says, "In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety." Now look, "not with broidered hair or gold or pearls or costly array." In other words, don't let that be all there is to you. But here's what you must have, "but which becometh women professing godliness with good works." In other words, he's saying, let your beauty be on the inside. Not on the outside. Don't depend on your hair, or your gold, or pearls, or fancy dress. No, no, no. You be a godly woman. Look now in 1 Peter chapter 3. And let's begin reading there with verse 1. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 1. Watch. God says, "Likewise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation," that would be the conduct, "of the wives."

Now look, "while they behold your chaste," that is your pure conversation or conduct, "coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well and not afraid with any amazement." Then he says, "Likewise, you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as into the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." But note, if you would. He says in verse 4, "Ladies, let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner," that is the character, the integrity, the honor. "In this manner, of old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord."

Now, just to show you that each of us are still sinners, and just to show you and to demonstrate that none of us are perfect, Ms. Effie, after 58 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me Lord. I don't understand that. But even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, she just hasn't done that to me yet. But anyhow, but you notice if you would, the emphasis in both of these passages, as well as Proverbs 31, deals with character, integrity, and godliness. Now, I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. Because the rest of this passage will demonstrate exactly what I've just said. Look if you would at verse 26, after he said, that strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come, and she will, and I'll show you why just momentarily. But look in verse 26, the Bible says,

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:26

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

Hmm, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

I want to give you two quotes. The first one is by the old Puritan John Trapp. He said this, "Her mouth is not always open, but duly shut, and discreetly opened. Her words are few, true, and ponderous. The stream and current of her conference tends either to wisdom or kindness, that is, to duties either of piety or charity." Then Adam Clark said it like this. "In her tongue is the law of kindness." "This is the most distinguishing excellence of this woman. There are very few of those who are called managing women who are not lords over their husbands, tyrants over their servants, and insolent among their neighbors. But this woman, with all her eminence and excellence, who is of a meek and quiet spirit, blessed woman." In other words, God is saying that she's not a loud mouth, unruly, insolent, churlish woman. No, no. Out of her mouth came kindness and wisdom. She's not bitter. She's not hateful. She's not resentful. She's not revengeful. She's not insulting. She's not unkind. She honors her husband. She honors her children.

And of course, they in turn arise and honor her. Watch this if you would please. Go back and look at verse 25. "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come." Now skip down to verse 28. "Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her." It is important for you to grasp this one point, that those who know this woman most intimately are those who are constantly blessing her and praising her.

The Reward of a Godly Life

The virtuous woman is praised by her children and husband because her consistent godliness is genuine; she will rejoice in time to come.

They have observed her godly character for years. They know it is not hypocritical. They know it is not a facade. They know it's not a show. They know that it's real and genuine. Let me tell you something. Listen carefully. Husbands and wives can fool those on the outside. But they cannot fool each other. Fathers and mothers and children can fool those on the outside, but they cannot fool each other. And if you'll note, the Bible says in verse 28, "Her children arise up and call her blessed, and her husband also, he praises her." In other words, in this woman, those who know her the most intimately are the ones who are blessing her and praising her because they understand the genuineness of her life. That's why he said in verse 25, "She shall rejoice in time to come." So for the godly woman, if she wants and desires and longs for the recognition and praise and honor from her children and from her husband, then she is required to live a consistent godly and faithful life.

Now, I want you to see the conclusion that God gives based upon this virtuous woman. So let's go to verse 29 again. He says this, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." So let me make some applications and I want you to think about this.

Conclusion: Godliness Excels All

Weaver ties Proverbs 1 (the wise man) to Proverbs 31 (the wise woman), concluding that fearing the Lord is superior to favor and beauty.

I began this message by asking, where are the real women? And by that question I was referring to real women of honesty, worth, character, integrity, women who love their husbands, women that honor their husbands. Women that enable their husbands to fulfill the role that God has called them unto. Such women excel above all other women. This is indeed the virtuous woman. Any young woman who really truly wants to be a holy godly woman should really study Proverbs 31 and emulate this virtuous woman. Because the virtuous woman is always one that fears the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, let me show you something I found interesting. I want you to turn in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 1. I want you to watch this. Look in Proverbs chapter 1, and I want to read the first five verses, and then I'm going to point something out. Proverbs chapter 1. Watch it.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 1:1-5

"The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity, to give subtlety to the simple and to the young man, knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."

Look, if you would. The very first verses of Proverbs chapter 1 deal with the wise man. The wise man is one that fears the Lord and follows instruction and understanding. And this same book ends now in Proverbs 31 with the wise woman who fears the Lord. So the book of Proverbs ends just as it begins, but it begins with the wise man and it ends with the wise woman.

So a wise man who is looking for a wife will always look primarily for a godly wife, a woman of character and integrity. Also you could say that a wise woman is going to look for a godly man, a man of character and integrity. So let me just spell it out for you in one sentence. According to Proverbs 31 and according to Proverbs 1, godliness is far better than favor and fame and beauty. Because the woman that fears the Lord and the man that fears the Lord, or the individuals of character and holiness and integrity, it's the fear of the Lord that produces those attributes. So favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But godliness, and one that fears the Lord, excels everything.

Study Guide

Major Themes

The Fear of the Lord as the Defining Mark of a Real Woman

Summary: A real woman is defined not by charm or beauty but by fearing the Lord, which produces wisdom, integrity, and godly works.

Evidence: Verse 30: 'Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.'

Deceitfulness of External Beauty and Charm

Summary: Favor (charm, elegance) is a lie and beauty is fleeting; they often mask a deformed soul and lead to disappointment.

Evidence: Weaver explains the Hebrew words and quotes Matthew Poole: 'favor gives a false representation of the person...'

The Virtuous Woman's Industry and Work Ethic

Summary: The virtuous woman works willingly, manages her household, and engages in commerce, contrasting with modern laziness.

Evidence: Verses 13-19, 24: 'She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands...'

The Wife's Role in Honoring and Enabling Her Husband

Summary: A godly wife reverences her husband, enabling him to fulfill his calling, and they share in the resulting blessings.

Evidence: Ephesians 5:33; 1 Samuel 30:24; Proverbs 31:23.

Inner Character Over Outward Adornment

Summary: True beauty is a meek and quiet spirit, not external decoration; godly women adorn themselves with good works.

Evidence: 1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:1-6.

The Destructive Impact of Government Dependency

Summary: Welfare and handouts destroy work ethic and create dependency, as illustrated by the American Indian and modern society.

Evidence: Reference to Rushdoony's 'The American Indian' and 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

Key Arguments

Favor and beauty are unreliable foundations for choosing a spouse.

Summary: Charm and physical beauty are deceptive and temporary; a person's character and fear of the Lord are what endure.

Evidence: Weaver's illustrations of the 'ugly' woman with beautiful character and the beautiful woman with an ugly spirit.

A virtuous woman's industry is a biblical mandate, not optional.

Summary: The Proverbs 31 woman works willingly, manages her home, and contributes economically; idleness is condemned.

Evidence: She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands... She maketh fine linen and selleth it.

A wife's reverence for her husband is obedience to God.

Summary: By reverencing her husband, a wife places God first; this enables her husband to lead and fulfill his calling.

Evidence: Ephesians 5:33: 'and the wife see that she reverence her husband.'

Genuine godliness is recognized most by those closest to a person.

Summary: The virtuous woman's children and husband praise her because they know her character is real, not a facade.

Evidence: Proverbs 31:28: 'Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her.'

The book of Proverbs frames wisdom as the goal for both men and women.

Summary: Proverbs begins with the wise man (chapter 1) and ends with the wise woman (chapter 31), both defined by fearing the Lord.

Evidence: Comparison of Proverbs 1:1-5 and Proverbs 31:30.

Scripture References

Proverbs 31:30

Context: The central text: 'Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.'

Psalm 86:11

Context: David's prayer to fear the Lord, used to show that real men and women fear God.

2 Thessalonians 3:10

Context: Paul's command that if any will not work, neither should he eat, applied to welfare dependency.

Proverbs 31:10-12

Context: The virtuous woman's worth and her husband's trust in her.

Proverbs 31:13-19

Context: Description of the virtuous woman's industry and work.

Proverbs 31:20

Context: She stretches out her hand to the poor and needy.

Hebrews 13:16

Context: Do good and communicate, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

Galatians 6:10

Context: Do good unto all men, especially the household of faith.

Proverbs 31:21-22

Context: The virtuous woman prepares for winter and makes beautiful coverings.

Proverbs 22:3

Context: A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself.

Proverbs 31:23

Context: Her husband is known in the gates.

Proverbs 12:4

Context: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

Context: Husbands love your wives; wives reverence your husbands.

1 Samuel 30:24

Context: David's decree that those who stay with the stuff share alike with those who fight.

Proverbs 31:25

Context: Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.

1 Timothy 2:9-10

Context: Women adorn themselves in modest apparel with good works, not outward decoration.

1 Peter 3:1-6

Context: Wives' chaste conduct and inner adorning of a meek and quiet spirit.

Proverbs 31:26

Context: She opens her mouth with wisdom; in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:28-29

Context: Her children and husband praise her; many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Proverbs 1:1-5

Context: The beginning of Proverbs focuses on the wise man, paralleling the wise woman of chapter 31.

Historical References

R.J. Rushdoony, 'The American Indian'

Context: Book detailing how government handouts destroyed the American Indian, used as a warning against welfare dependency.

Matthew Poole (commentator)

Context: Quoted on Proverbs 31:30: favor gives a false representation and is soon lost.

John Gill (commentator)

Context: Quoted on beauty: under a well-favored look often lies an ill-natured, depraved mind.

Jezebel (biblical figure)

Context: Example of a likely beautiful woman with a wicked, depraved mind.

Albert Barnes (commentator)

Context: Quoted on 'scarlet' in Proverbs 31:21 possibly meaning double garments for warmth.

John Trapp (Puritan commentator)

Context: Quoted on Proverbs 31:26: her mouth is discreetly opened, words few, true, and ponderous.

Adam Clarke (commentator)

Context: Quoted on Proverbs 31:26: the law of kindness is her most distinguishing excellence.

Important Quotes

Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Significance: The central verse of the sermon, defining a real woman by her fear of the Lord rather than external qualities.

I've often said, though, in regards to both men and women, that as far as men are concerned, we have sired a generation of spineless, gutless, ignorant, and worthless individuals that go by the title of men.

Significance: Weaver's strong critique of modern masculinity, setting up the contrast with biblical manhood and womanhood.

Favor is deceitful. Now the word deceitful refers to that which is false, vain, wrong, a lie, a deception, and a disappointment.

Significance: Explanation of the Hebrew meaning, emphasizing that charm is inherently deceptive.

Beauty is vain. It's a vapor. It goes away.

Significance: Succinctly captures the transient nature of physical beauty.

A well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind.

Significance: John Gill's quote warning that external beauty often conceals inner corruption.

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands.

Significance: Highlights the virtuous woman's willing industry, a key theme of the sermon.

Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Significance: Emphasizes that the virtuous woman's true adornment is her character, leading to future joy.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Significance: Shows that the virtuous woman's speech is marked by wisdom and kindness, not harshness.

Discussion Questions

What does it mean to 'fear the Lord' in practical daily life, and how does that distinguish a real woman or man?

Context: Weaver defines a real woman as one who fears the Lord, contrasting with external charm.

How can we guard against being deceived by favor and beauty when evaluating potential spouses or friendships?

Context: Weaver warns that favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, using personal illustrations.

In what ways does the Proverbs 31 woman's industry challenge modern attitudes toward work and dependency?

Context: Weaver contrasts the virtuous woman's work ethic with government dependency and laziness.

How does a wife's reverence for her husband practically enable him to fulfill his God-given role?

Context: Weaver explains that a wife's attitude and work allow her husband to lead and serve in his calling.

Why is inner character (a meek and quiet spirit) of greater value than outward adornment, according to 1 Peter 3?

Context: Weaver contrasts external beauty with the hidden man of the heart.

What does it look like for a woman to have 'the law of kindness' on her tongue in her home and community?

Context: Weaver quotes commentators on Proverbs 31:26, emphasizing wisdom and kindness in speech.

How can both men and women cultivate the fear of the Lord as the foundation for wisdom, as seen in Proverbs 1 and 31?

Context: Weaver notes the book of Proverbs begins with the wise man and ends with the wise woman.

Applications

Evaluate character over appearance in relationships.

Summary: When considering a spouse, prioritize godliness and the fear of the Lord over charm and physical beauty, which are deceptive and temporary.

Evidence: Weaver's illustrations of the 'ugly' woman with beautiful character and the beautiful woman with an ugly spirit.

Cultivate a willing work ethic in the home.

Summary: Women should embrace industry, managing their households diligently and willingly, not succumbing to idleness or dependency.

Evidence: Proverbs 31:13-19; 'She worketh willingly with her hands.'

Reverence and enable your husband.

Summary: Wives should honor and reverence their husbands, creating an environment that allows them to fulfill their God-given roles.

Evidence: Ephesians 5:33; Proverbs 31:23; Weaver's personal example of his wife enabling his ministry.

Adorn yourself with good works, not just outward appearance.

Summary: Focus on developing a meek and quiet spirit and godly character rather than relying on external beauty or fashion.

Evidence: 1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:1-6.

Speak with wisdom and kindness.

Summary: Women should guard their tongues, ensuring their speech is marked by wisdom and the law of kindness, not harshness or gossip.

Evidence: Proverbs 31:26; quotes from Trapp and Clarke.

Live consistently so that your family praises you.

Summary: Aim for genuine godliness that is recognized and blessed by those who know you most intimately—your children and spouse.

Evidence: Proverbs 31:28; 'Her children arise up and call her blessed.'

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T13:58:13Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T01:46:31Z

Clean Transcript

Where Are The Real Women?

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

One, and look if you would please at verse 30, Proverbs 31 and verse 30. Just one verse; we will be able to look at the entire passage momentarily, but right now just verse 30. The title of the message is, "Where Are the Real Women?" You should understand shortly. Verse 30, the Bible says, "Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Now, the title of the message, "Where the Real Women," may be misunderstood by some. That title is not a call for gender identification. When Alice and I were growing up, one could easily distinguish between men and women, and men wanted to be men and they wanted everybody to know that they were men, and women wanted to be women and they also wanted everyone to know that they were women.
#1 | 0:11 to 1:16 | cleaned
We were not ashamed of the way that God created us, and neither were we confused about our genders, and we certainly did not want to cross any barrier that God had erected. Now, the question in the title of this message actually deals with a truly biblical and godly woman. And our text makes it exceedingly clear that a real woman is one that fears the Lord. The same thing is said concerning a real man. He is one that fears the Lord.
#2 | 1:17 to 1:48 | cleaned
David said it like this in Psalm 86 and verse 11. He said, "Teach me thy way, O Lord, and I will walk in thy truth; unite my heart to fear thy name." So the real men and the real women are ones who actually fear the Lord. And talking about being a real man, I'd much rather be a little David than a giant Goliath. And the truth of the matter is you found out who the real man was because it was little David who came out on top during that battle, obviously. I've often said, though, in regards to both men and women, that as far as men are concerned, we have sired a generation of spineless, gutless, ignorant, and worthless individuals that go by the title of men. And likewise, I've also said that we've sired a generation of young women that cannot cook, cannot clean, cannot sew, cannot garden, cannot keep house, cannot raise children, and cannot love their husbands. And it seems like today both men and women refuse to grow up and refuse to be mature.
#3 | 1:48 to 3:02 | cleaned
Most of the time now you find that most men and women sit around, watch TV, play games, read trashy magazines, and refuse to take responsibility for their lives. If you take an overview of the average individual today, you will find and you will discover that most people want everything handed to them on a silver platter. When you stop and consider the fact that most people today can survive on the governmental dole, EBT cards and stimulus checks and any other thing that they can grasp from the government, and they can survive on that, they're exceedingly happy. There's no work involved, there's no responsibility, there's no incentive, there's no concern, there's no desire to improve their status, and usually, there's not even a whimper of gratitude for everything that is handed to them and given to them.
#4 | 3:03 to 3:59 | cleaned
They could just simply demand it and could care less about being thankful for anything. And I've often said, I absolutely have no respect for any man or any woman that lies around the house, refuses to dress, and refuses to work, and even refuses to try to help themselves. The Bible says in 2 Thessalonians 3 and verse 10, the Apostle Paul said, "Even when we were among you, we commanded you that if any will not work, neither should he eat."
#5 | 3:59 to 4:30 | cleaned
Have you ever stopped to think that that would be a very easy way to rid the welfare roles of individuals? Just let them starve. You say that's cruel. No, it's not cruel. You see, the truth of the matter is if a man thought he was really starving, he'd get up and get to work and get something to eat. He would not starve. At least most people would not. There may be some stupid enough to do that, but most people would not. But as long as you continue to hand people everything that they want without any work, then they're going to be content to remain on the dole.
#6 | 4:31 to 5:04 | cleaned
All you have to do is read one little book. The title of it is "The American Indian," written by R.J. Rushdoony. Rushdoony was a missionary to the Indians for 11 years. The little book is probably not more than, I don't know, a third of an inch thick, something like that. But it's absolutely astounding because the book details and shows you how our own government literally destroyed the Indians by giving them everything and by making them totally dependent upon the federal government. And of course, in that book, he also points out that the same thing is happening and has happened to the black race. When you consider the black race today, most of them are absolutely totally dependent upon the government.
#7 | 5:05 to 5:59 | cleaned
I realize not all, I understand that. But what has happened to the Indian has also happened to the blacks. And what has happened to the blacks is also happening to the whites. Because obviously, there is now no desire to work. It seems as if the government's intent is to keep everybody on the reservation. And the work ethic of any and every race has basically been destroyed in order to keep people in subservience to the controlling elite. And no doubt, guaranteed universal income will finish us off because people now will no longer have to work.
#8 | 6:00 to 6:39 | cleaned
They just simply hold their hands out and they get whatever they need. Now, when we think about Proverbs 31, and we're talking about a real woman, a real man a little bit later. But when you think about Proverbs chapter 31, there's a lot that has been preached and proclaimed and taught concerning the virtuous woman. But before I show you the truth concerning the virtuous woman, I want us to look at verse 30 and analyze this verse before we go any further.
#9 | 6:39 to 7:11 | cleaned
You say, well, why should we understand this? And the answer is because most men usually do not know what to look for in a wife. And the truth of the matter is, most women do not know what to look for in a husband. That's a different sermon, but it's the truth as well. But our Lord, in verse 30, makes two declarations that are very offensive and contrary to the flesh. Well, what are they? Look in verse 30. The very first one is this, favor is deceitful. Favor is deceitful. Now, the Hebrew word for favor here actually is translated as favor in our Bibles, but it's also translated as precious and pleasant and well-favored.
#10 | 7:12 to 8:00 | cleaned
But it refers to what you and I would call grace and charm and elegance. And everyone has met a very charming, elegant woman that has been duly impressed. However, if you look at verse 30, he says this, favor is deceitful. Now the word deceitful refers to that which is false, vain, wrong, a lie, a deception, and a disappointment. And interestingly enough, the same Hebrew word is translated in our Bibles as lie 28 times and as liar one time. So he says very clearly there, favor is deceitful, favor is a lie. Now, every one of us have heard and read about polished women, and that usually refers to those women who have been schooled and trained in the graces of elegance. In fact, in times past, wealthy men were in the habit of always sending their daughters to charm schools. One may learn the habits and ways of charm and favor without being charming and without being favorable in and of themselves. So we must understand then that favor, grace, and charm and elegance will fade.
#11 | 8:01 to 9:27 | cleaned
Moreover, sometimes it is nothing more than a charade. It is a facade. It is a fakery. The Bible says that favor is a deceit. And when anyone estimates then a woman or his wife or the works of a wife merely by the loveliness and the charming of her external character or external physical being, the Bible says he is deceived because favor is deceitful.
#12 | 9:27 to 9:58 | cleaned
Now, Matthew Poole said it like this, "It favor gives a false representation of the person, being oftentimes a cover to a most deformed soul and to many evil and hateful qualities, partly because it doth not give a man that content and satisfaction which at first he promised himself from it, and partly because it is soon lost, not only by death, but by many diseases and contingencies." So he says that favor is deceitful.
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Here's the second offensive truth, and that is that beauty is vain. Well, you could ask yourself this question, or what man has not been struck by a beautiful woman. Beauty oftentimes is indeed in the eye of the beholder, yet it is beauty that normally attracts both men and women. Women will look for the handsome men and men will look for the beautiful woman. But according to the scripture, beauty is vain.
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Now the Hebrew word for vain here means not only vanity and that which is vain, but it is also translated in the Bible as a vapor or as a breath. On a good crisp morning, you can go outside and blow your breath and you can see it momentarily. And then it disappears. And that's exactly what he's saying here, that beauty is vain. It's a vapor. It goes away. There's been many jokes made concerning beauty and ugliness. One wit said that ugliness is superior to beauty because ugliness lasts. Well, maybe it does. But the truth of the matter is we can joke all day long, but the Bible says that beauty is vain. I must also point out the fact that normally what we call ugliness sometimes hides real beauty. And the truth of the matter is most of the time we are attracted by that which is on the outside and we never really consider that which is on the inside.
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So let me give you a couple of illustrations. Years ago I met a well-favored young woman and she was a, I would say, she would have been a very attractive young woman. She was well favored, but she had a nose like a hawk. And when I first saw her, the first thought that hit my mind was this. This is the ugliest woman I guess I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, the truth of the matter is, I got to know that young woman. And over several months in talking to her and discussing her and talking about things, I discovered that this young woman was one of the sweetest, kindest, most godly young women that I'd ever met. And what I thought was ugly turned out to be exceedingly beautiful.
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In fact, Alice and I had she and her fiancé over to our house for supper one night, I called her name and I said, let me tell you, if I was not already married, I'd do everything in my power to take you away from your fiancee and I'd marry you myself. So it was interesting. The woman that I thought was the ugliest woman I'd ever met turned out to be one of the most beautiful women because of her character.
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and her godliness and her inner disposition. On the other hand, years ago, I went to a certain state for a meeting. I knew the pastor, but I'd never ever met his wife. And he came the first night to pick me up to take me to supper before we went out to church. And his wife was sitting in the back seat. And of course, I was introduced and I spoke to her. And the first thought that struck my mind when I saw her was, my, what a beautiful woman, what a gorgeous woman. And she was beautiful. And I thought, this is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life. I wasn't in that car 10 minutes before I was saying to myself, thank God I'm not married to that woman.
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Her beauty had become instant and sheer ugliness, because her looks shielded a deformed spirit, an arrogant attitude, and a rude disposition." So one that was beautiful became exceedingly ugly, and one that was ugly became exceedingly beautiful. A lot of people, a lot of men, they said, well, I'm going to marry this woman. She's beautiful. Well, let me ask you a question. And think about this, would you consider to love her even after she ceased to become beautiful? There are many things that can change beauty. I mean, you can have an automobile wreck, you can have an accident, you can have disease, you can have old age, you can do a lot of things, and you have to understand that beauty fades and disappears.
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John Gill said it like this, listen carefully. He said, "A well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind." And you know, and I just stopped right there, and I put something in my notes, and I just simply wrote the name Jezebel. You know, in all probability, Jezebel was a good-looking woman.
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When you stop and think about that, even when Jehu came up and she figured that she was going to be killed anyhow, what did the Bible say? She painted her face and she tired her head and looked out the window and she asked, "Did Zimri have peace who slew his master?" In other words, learn a lesson from history before you try to kill me.
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Now, but look how wicked, how vile she was. He says, "A well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind." And that is certainly true. Now, you contrast this, and if you look in verse 30, he says, "Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but—here's the contrast—a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised." So a woman that fears the Lord may or may not have charm. A woman that fears the Lord may or may not be physically beautiful, yet she is morally, intellectually, and spiritually beautiful. And her works demonstrate the fact that she does fear the Lord. Look in verse 31.
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We'll come back to that. He says, "...give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her, in the gates."
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Now, you see, many Christians are able to quote Proverbs 1 and verse 7, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Many can also quote Proverbs chapter 9 in verse 10, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding." So it's not whether or not we can actually quote these verses, it's whether or not we can actually apply them in our lives. So the question is, can we apply them? The woman, the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is the one that fears the Lord. If she fears the Lord, then that fear of the Lord is going to be evidenced with wisdom and understanding. And that fear is going to be evidenced in her works and how she lives and how she acts. Now, I want you to look in verse 10, because here's the question. Who can find a virtuous woman?
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Then he says, "For her price is far above rubies." When you look at the word virtuous in the Hebrew, the word virtuous refers to someone of strength, honor, valor, ability, and efficiency. That's the virtuous woman. And you can only find those attributes in the Lord. So I want to point out very quickly in this verse, or in this chapter, some truths concerning the virtuous woman. And then we're going to tie it together toward the end again. But look in verse 10. He asks, "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies."
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Now read verses 11 and 12. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." So the Bible says the heart of her husband does safely trust in her. So the real woman, the virtuous woman, is the one that fears the Lord in whom her husband may safely and rightly place his trust.
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She is not against him, she is for him. She will honor him. She will not abuse him. She will not misuse him. She will be satisfied with his provision and he will have no need of spoil. Now, when the Bible says that in verse 11, "The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil," the word spoil refers to plunder, booty, prey, dishonest gain in booty.
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In other words, she is not going to drive him into some type of wickedness just to satisfy her outlandish desires or what she thinks that she needs when in reality she doesn't. In other words, she's not going to be a Jezebel. Years ago when Alice and I first got married, I worked for a man by the name of Ed Chambers who worked at State Farm Insurance. He was a State Farm agent and I worked in the office and there was a school nearby and we had the man insured who was the president of that school. He was an older man, not an attractive man by any stretch of the imagination, but he had a position and I'm sure that that position had a little bit of money.
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I remember his much younger wife would walk by our office in high heels. We had full plate glass windows. She would walk by in high heels, dressed to the absolute tee, with a fur around her shoulders, rings on about every finger, with a little leash in her hand and the little toy poodle who had a diamond necklace on and painted toenails. Every time I would see her, I could not help but think, and her husband can't even pay his insurance. I'm serious.
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He was either always late or had to make it in payments because he never had any money. And I've often wondered where all that money went, and I think I discovered it when I would watch her walk down the street. In other words, she was outlandish. And this is what the Bible is saying. Here is a woman of integrity. She's not going to demand that her husband give her things that she knows he can't possibly afford. She is not going to drive him to be a wicked man. She's not going to be a Jezebel. Notice if you would, secondly, the virtuous woman is also a woman of industry.
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Look in verses 13 through 19. "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hand, she planted the vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."
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"She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff."
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Now skip down to verse 24. "She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchants." In other words, this virtuous woman is a worker. She is no sluggard. She does not lie around in her pajamas until noon. She's not occupied with the TV and soap operas and magazines or idleness. She is up before dawn providing for her house. She gardens, she sews, she cooks. Wow!
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She works into the night. Look in verse 13 again. Watch this. "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh," what is that next word? Willingly. She worketh willingly. She is not made to work. She is not forced to work. She wants to work and she does so willingly. She keeps her house. She keeps her garden. She keeps her fruit trees. She works. She has a biblical work ethic.
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She's also industrious in the sense that she makes and sells her goods. She is working from the inside of her home, and she's delivering her goods to the merchants. She is sharp, she understands the economy. Incidentally, I've probably told you this before, but you may have forgotten it, so I'll tell you again. We get an awful lot of English words straight from the Greek. Economy is one of those words. Our English word economy is made up of two Greek words, oikos nomos. Oikos is the Greek word for house, nomos law. It actually means the law of the house or a household law or household management. So she understands economy. She understands the law of the house. She understands household management.
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So this woman is not only a woman of integrity. She's not only a woman of industry. Notice verse 20. She's also a woman that is involved. "She stretches out her hand to the poor. Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." She has a concern for others. She's compassionate. And she does not simply labor for herself or just for her family. She always has an interest in her neighbors and the poor as well.
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Now, here's what I want you to note. Look in verse 20 again. "She stretches out her hand," that is singular, "to the poor. She reacheth forth her hands," plural, "to the needy." In other words, here is a woman that gives liberally and gives graciously. Her liberality is very extensive, it reaches to many, it reaches at a distance, and it's done with great cheerfulness and readiness.
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Now, the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13 and verse 16, "But to do good and communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." But to do good and to communicate, forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. And then when you look at Galatians 6 and verse 10, it says this, "As we therefore have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto the household of faith." So we have an obligation to all men, generally speaking, but we have a special duty and obligation to the household of faith.
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So here's a woman that's involved. She's not concerned just with herself. She's not concerned just with her family, but she's also concerned with the poor as well.
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Fourth, if you'll notice verses 21 and 22, the virtuous woman is one that looks ahead. Look, if you would please, verse 21. "She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple." So let me spell this out for you. The virtuous woman is a prepper in one sense of the word. She looks ahead and she prepares. She thinks ahead and she knows what is coming.
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She follows the counsel of Proverbs 22 in verse 3, where the Bible says, "A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished." And so this woman is a prudent woman. She looks ahead. It may be spring and it's wonderful. It may be summer and it's warm, but she knows that winter is coming and she is not anxious now for the comfort and safety and health of her family because she has made preparation.
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Now look, if you would please, verse 21, "She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all of her household are clothed with scarlet."
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Now, I want to read to you what Albert Barnes said about the word scarlet. He said, "For all of her household are clothed with scarlet. Not scarlet for the color. Color can avail nothing in keeping off the cold, nor would it be a proper color for the bogs and the dirt of winter." Then he goes into the Hebrew word, but "Shanin" from "Shanah," means to iterate or to double, signifies not only scarlet, so-called, from being twice or doubly dyed, but also double garments. Not only the ordinary coat, but also the great coat also, or a cloak to cover all. But most probably, this refers to double garments or two-fold what they are accustomed to wear is here intended.
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In other words, this woman is going to make sure that her family is warm in the winter. She's also concerned with that which is beautiful and appropriate. Look in verse 22. "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple." In other words, practicality and beauty are combined in her. She's not only practical, but she also takes care to make beautiful things as well. And fifth, let me point out, the virtuous woman makes sure that her husband is honored. Look in verse 23. "Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land."
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So here is a man who is renowned and noted for his wife's work and integrity. He sits in the gate. He is either a ruler or he is either a counselor or a diplomat. He is someone who is able to either rule or at least counsel rulers. Because all government in the Bible was in the gates. It was open. It was public. And if you sat in the gates, it meant that you were either a ruler, an elder, a diplomat, or a counselor.
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You were there for some reason. The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 4, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but that she maketh ashamed is as rottenness to the bones." So a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh the shame is as rottenness to the bones. Now, I want you to note that this virtuous woman as a loving wife sees the need for the respectability and honor of her husband.
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Let me make a statement. He is placed first in her life. You say, I thought God was supposed to be first. Well, he is. But the way a wife places God first is by obedience. Just the same way a man places God first is by obedience. Let me show you. I want you to hold Proverbs 31, but look in your Bibles to the book of Ephesians chapter 5, and notice if you would please verse 33. Ephesians 5 and verse 33. Look at what God says. Ephesians 5 verse 33. He talks about the men and he says this, "Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself." So the husband is to love his wife even as himself. And note this next part, "and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
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Now the word reverence is from the Greek word phobeo, which is normally translated as fear. But here in the context, it means to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, or with reverential respect and obedience. In other words, she makes sure that she not only honors her husband, but that others do as well. Her life promotes his life. Let me say this another way. Her life moves in terms of his life.
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Now, I want you to think of the implication that we have in verse 23. When the Bible says her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders thereof. I want you to think about the entire context. This virtuous woman is a woman that works, she plans, she saves, she's frugal, she's charitable, she's generous, she's kind. It is her attitude and her actions that allow her husband to do what he must do, has to do, and what God has called him to do. It is not that the husband is lazy.
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It is not that he is indolent. It is not that he is slothful. There are other areas in which he is concerned. I'll give it to you like this. For years, and we still do, but for years Alice and I have had a garden. Every spring, I take the tractor and the harrow, and I harrow up that garden. Now, Alice plants it, she waters it, she weeds it, she picks it, she cooks it, she preserves it, but it's our garden.
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You say, well, you did very little. That's true, but it's our garden. I did the first part, she did the rest of it. Well, why am I not a gardener? Because I'm doing something else. For instance, I could say, you're welcome to come to our house. It is indeed our house, but she keeps it. She sweeps it, she mops the floors, she vacuums, she does the dishes, she washes the clothes, she makes the bed, she plans and cooks the meals, but it's our house. She knows where everything is in the house.
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I know where my books are. I know where some of my clothes are, but if I want something else, I have to ask her because she puts it up. She knows where it is, but still our house. You see what I'm saying?
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Now, the point I'm trying to make is very simple. I could never do the studying and the preparation that I must have for preaching without her. It is her work. It is her attitude that allows me to fulfill the role which God has called me unto. That is why, if you will remember, God said it's not good for the man to be alone. I will make an help meet for him. And the word meet literally means I will make a helper suitable unto him. I will make a helper that would answer to his needs. And that is exactly the role model of the wife. It's the biblical role model. God has called both the man and the wife to dominion, and we're both engaged in dominion, but we're engaging in dominion from different roles and different positions. Now, let me point something else.
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I want you to turn, if you would, to 1 Samuel chapter 30. Hold Proverbs 31, but look in 1 Samuel chapter 30, and as you turn there, I will tell you the story. 1 Samuel chapter 30. You see, the truth of the matter is this. Whatever success I have, she has. Whatever blessings I have, she has. You remember, Ziklag was a city of David. It was given to him by Achish, a Philistine king. And David had 600 men who rode with him. And their wives and children were in Ziklag. And while David was away, the Philistines came along, I believe it was, and burned Ziklag with fire. And they took all the wives and all the children and all the goods out of the city.
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And boy, everybody was so upset. Everybody was weeping and crying. But when they got back, they found all their wives and children were gone and everything was gone. And David asked the Lord, shall I pursue? The Lord said, yes. Will I overtake them? The Lord said, yes. Will I be victorious? The Lord said, yes. Well, out of David's 600 men, 200 of them were so faint, they could not go.
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They had wept and wept and cried and just weren't able to go. And so David took the 400 men and he went and captured and brought back every man, his wife, all the children, all the goods, and even more that was stolen from Ziklag, because these people had been on a robbing spree, and David brought it all back. So some of the wicked men who were with David decided, well, here's what we're going to do. We're going to give to every man his wife and every man his children, but the rest is stuff we're going to keep for ourselves. Look what David said. 1 Samuel chapter 30. Look, if you would please, at verse 24. David said, "For who will hearken to you in this matter? But as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that teareth by the stuff. They shall part alike." Did you hear that? They shall part alike.
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So, when a husband and wife work together, they may not necessarily be doing exactly the same thing. But they're both exercising dominion. And God says whatever blessings and whatever success the husband has, they shall part and they shall part alike. In other words, they are one in Christ.
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Now, let me point something else out. I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. The virtuous woman is also one that is honorable and honored. So let's begin reading there with verse 25. The Bible says, "Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come." Let me just stop there. We'll read a little bit more just momentarily. But look at verse 25. "Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come." The two words strength and honor in reference to her clothing certainly does not mean that she was just simply well-dressed. Certainly she probably was because obviously this was a hard-working woman, but this refers to her character. It refers to her integrity. Strength and honor are her clothing. Hold Proverbs 31 and turn in your Bibles first to 1st Timothy chapter 2 and then we're going to 1st Peter chapter 3. So look in 1st Timothy chapter 2, 1st Timothy chapter 2 and let's begin reading there with verse 9. 1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 9.
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The Bible says, "In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety." Now look, "not with broidered hair or gold or pearls or costly array." In other words, don't let that be all there is to you. But here's what you must have, "but which becometh women professing godliness with good works." In other words, he's saying, let your beauty be on the inside. Not on the outside. Don't depend on your hair, or your gold, or pearls, or fancy dress. No, no, no.
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You be a godly woman. Look now in 1 Peter chapter 3. And let's begin reading there with verse 1. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 1. Watch. God says, "Likewise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation," that would be the conduct, "of the wives."
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Now look, "while they behold your chaste," that is your pure conversation or conduct, "coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well and not afraid with any amazement."
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Then he says, "Likewise, you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as into the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." But note, if you would. He says in verse 4, "Ladies, let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner," that is the character, the integrity, the honor. "In this manner, of old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord."
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Now, just to show you that each of us are still sinners, and just to show you and to demonstrate that none of us are perfect, Ms. Effie, after 58 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me Lord. I don't understand that. But even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, she just hasn't done that to me yet. But anyhow, but you notice if you would, the emphasis in both of these passages, as well as Proverbs 31, deals with character, integrity, and godliness. Now, I want you to go back to Proverbs chapter 31. Because the rest of this passage will demonstrate exactly what I've just said. Look if you would at verse 26, after he said, that strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come, and she will, and I'll show you why just momentarily. But look in verse 26, the Bible says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness." Hmm, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
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I want to give you two quotes. The first one is by the old Puritan John Trapp. He said this, "Her mouth is not always open, but duly shut, and discreetly opened. Her words are few, true, and ponderous. The stream and current of her conference tends either to wisdom or kindness, that is, to duties either of piety or charity." Then Adam Clark said it like this. "In her tongue is the law of kindness."
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"This is the most distinguishing excellence of this woman. There are very few of those who are called managing women who are not lords over their husbands, tyrants over their servants, and insolent among their neighbors. But this woman, with all her eminence and excellence, who is of a meek and quiet spirit, blessed woman." In other words, God is saying that she's not a loud mouth, unruly, insolent, churlish woman. No, no. Out of her mouth came kindness and wisdom. She's not bitter. She's not hateful. She's not resentful. She's not revengeful. She's not insulting. She's not unkind. She honors her husband. She honors her children.
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And of course, they in turn arise and honor her. Watch this if you would please. Go back and look at verse 25. "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come." Now skip down to verse 28. "Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her." It is important for you to grasp this one point, that those who know this woman most intimately are those who are constantly blessing her and praising her.
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They have observed her godly character for years. They know it is not hypocritical. They know it is not a facade. They know it's not a show. They know that it's real and genuine. Let me tell you something. Listen carefully. Husbands and wives can fool those on the outside. But they cannot fool each other. Fathers and mothers and children can fool those on the outside, but they cannot fool each other. And if you'll note, the Bible says in verse 28, "Her children arise up and call her blessed, and her husband also, he praises her." In other words, in this woman, those who know her the most intimately are the ones who are blessing her and praising her because they understand the genuineness of her life. That's why he said in verse 25, "She shall rejoice in time to come." So for the godly woman, if she wants and desires and longs for the recognition and praise and honor from her children and from her husband, then she is required to live a consistent godly and faithful life.
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Now, I want you to see the conclusion that God gives based upon this virtuous woman. So let's go to verse 29 again. He says this, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." So let me make some applications and I want you to think about this.
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I began this message by asking, where are the real women? And by that question I was referring to real women of honesty, worth, character, integrity, women who love their husbands, women that honor their husbands. Women that enable their husbands to fulfill the role that God has called them unto. Such women excel above all other women. This is indeed the virtuous woman. Any young woman who really truly wants to be a holy godly woman should really study Proverbs 31 and emulate this virtuous woman. Because the virtuous woman is always one that fears the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Now, let me show you something I found interesting. I want you to turn in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 1. I want you to watch this. Look in Proverbs chapter 1, and I want to read the first five verses, and then I'm going to point something out. Proverbs chapter 1. Watch it. "The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity, to give subtlety to the simple and to the young man, knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels." Look, if you would. The very first verses of Proverbs chapter 1 deal with the wise man. The wise man is one that fears the Lord and follows instruction and understanding. And this same book ends now in Proverbs 31 with the wise woman who fears the Lord. So the book of Proverbs ends just as it begins, but it begins with the wise man and it ends with the wise woman.
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So a wise man who is looking for a wife will always look primarily for a godly wife, a woman of character and integrity. Also you could say that a wise woman is going to look for a godly man, a man of character and integrity. So let me just spell it out for you in one sentence. According to Proverbs 31 and according to Proverbs 1, godliness is far better than favor and fame and beauty. Because the woman that fears the Lord and the man that fears the Lord, or the individuals of character and holiness and integrity, it's the fear of the Lord that produces those attributes. So favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But godliness, and one that fears the Lord, excels everything.
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Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we bow to Thee. We thank You for Your Word. Your truth. And Lord, we admit and confess our own failures so many times. And yet, Lord, we do ask Thee to make us holy, to make us godly, to make us obedient. May we honor Thee and honor each other. And may, Father, we glorify Thee in all that we say and do. And we pray and ask, Father, that You would make us real women and real men in the sense that we fear the Lord and obey Him. Give us Your grace, we pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, in whose name we ask these things. Amen.
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T13:58:13Z

Where Are The Real Women?

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

Pastor John Weaver examines Proverbs 31:30 to define a 'real woman' as one who fears the Lord, contrasting external charm and beauty with inner godliness. He critiques modern culture's decline in work ethic and character, then expounds the virtuous woman's traits: trustworthiness, industry, compassion, foresight, and honor toward her husband. The sermon concludes that godliness excels all, and both men and women should seek to fear the Lord.

Introduction: Defining a Real Woman

Weaver introduces Proverbs 31:30 and clarifies that the title refers to a biblical, godly woman who fears the Lord, not gender identity.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:30

"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

The Problem with Modern Men and Women

Weaver laments a generation of irresponsible, dependent individuals who lack work ethic and maturity, citing 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

David said it like this in Psalm 86 and verse 11. He said,

Scripture Reading — Psalm 86:11

"Teach me thy way, O Lord, and I will walk in thy truth; unite my heart to fear thy name."

Scripture Reading — 2 Thessalonians 3:10

"Even when we were among you, we commanded you that if any will not work, neither should he eat."

Government Dependency Destroys Work Ethic

Using Rushdoony's book on American Indians, Weaver argues that government handouts have destroyed the work ethic across races, leading to universal dependency.

Exposition of Proverbs 31:30: Favor and Beauty

Weaver explains that 'favor' (charm, elegance) is deceitful and 'beauty' is vain (a vapor), warning against judging by externals.

Illustrations of Inner vs. Outer Beauty

Personal stories show how a seemingly ugly woman proved beautiful in character, while a beautiful woman revealed an ugly spirit.

The Virtuous Woman's Character and Works

Weaver details the virtuous woman's traits: trustworthiness, industry, compassion, foresight, and honoring her husband, all rooted in fearing the Lord.

Now, the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13 and verse 16,

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 13:16

"But to do good and communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

She follows the counsel of Proverbs 22 in verse 3, where the Bible says,

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 22:3

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."

The Wife's Role in Enabling Her Husband

Using Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Samuel 30, Weaver teaches that a wife's reverence and work allow her husband to fulfill his God-given role, and they share in success.

Scripture Reading — 1 Samuel 30:24

"For who will hearken to you in this matter? But as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that teareth by the stuff. They shall part alike."

Did you hear that? They shall part alike.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:25

"Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come."

Let me just stop there. We'll read a little bit more just momentarily. But look at verse 25.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:25

"Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come."

Inner Adorning and the Law of Kindness

Weaver contrasts external adornment with a meek and quiet spirit (1 Timothy 2, 1 Peter 3), emphasizing wisdom and kindness in speech.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 31:26

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

Hmm, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

The Reward of a Godly Life

The virtuous woman is praised by her children and husband because her consistent godliness is genuine; she will rejoice in time to come.

Conclusion: Godliness Excels All

Weaver ties Proverbs 1 (the wise man) to Proverbs 31 (the wise woman), concluding that fearing the Lord is superior to favor and beauty.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 1:1-5

"The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity, to give subtlety to the simple and to the young man, knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."

Where Are The Real Women?

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	EAIOej6DhP0
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2021-02-07
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 26
Source Timed Segments	73

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction: Defining a Real Woman: Weaver introduces Proverbs 31:30 and clarifies that the title refers to a biblical, godly woman who fears the Lord, not gender identity.
The Problem with Modern Men and Women: Weaver laments a generation of irresponsible, dependent individuals who lack work ethic and maturity, citing 2 Thessalonians 3:10.
Government Dependency Destroys Work Ethic: Using Rushdoony's book on American Indians, Weaver argues that government handouts have destroyed the work ethic across races, leading to universal dependency.
Exposition of Proverbs 31:30: Favor and Beauty: Weaver explains that 'favor' (charm, elegance) is deceitful and 'beauty' is vain (a vapor), warning against judging by externals.
Illustrations of Inner vs. Outer Beauty: Personal stories show how a seemingly ugly woman proved beautiful in character, while a beautiful woman revealed an ugly spirit.
The Virtuous Woman's Character and Works: Weaver details the virtuous woman's traits: trustworthiness, industry, compassion, foresight, and honoring her husband, all rooted in fearing the Lord.
The Wife's Role in Enabling Her Husband: Using Ephesians 5:33 and 1 Samuel 30, Weaver teaches that a wife's reverence and work allow her husband to fulfill his God-given role, and they share in success.
Inner Adorning and the Law of Kindness: Weaver contrasts external adornment with a meek and quiet spirit (1 Timothy 2, 1 Peter 3), emphasizing wisdom and kindness in speech.
The Reward of a Godly Life: The virtuous woman is praised by her children and husband because her consistent godliness is genuine; she will rejoice in time to come.
Conclusion: Godliness Excels All: Weaver ties Proverbs 1 (the wise man) to Proverbs 31 (the wise woman), concluding that fearing the Lord is superior to favor and beauty.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

Favor and beauty are unreliable foundations for choosing a spouse.

Charm and physical beauty are deceptive and temporary; a person's character and fear of the Lord are what endure.

Weaver's illustrations of the 'ugly' woman with beautiful character and the beautiful woman with an ugly spirit.

A virtuous woman's industry is a biblical mandate, not optional.

The Proverbs 31 woman works willingly, manages her home, and contributes economically; idleness is condemned.

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands... She maketh fine linen and selleth it.

A wife's reverence for her husband is obedience to God.

By reverencing her husband, a wife places God first; this enables her husband to lead and fulfill his calling.

Ephesians 5:33: 'and the wife see that she reverence her husband.'

Genuine godliness is recognized most by those closest to a person.

The virtuous woman's children and husband praise her because they know her character is real, not a facade.

Proverbs 31:28: 'Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her.'

The book of Proverbs frames wisdom as the goal for both men and women.

Proverbs begins with the wise man (chapter 1) and ends with the wise woman (chapter 31), both defined by fearing the Lord.

Comparison of Proverbs 1:1-5 and Proverbs 31:30.

Scripture References

Proverbs 31:30: The central text: 'Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.'
Psalm 86:11: David's prayer to fear the Lord, used to show that real men and women fear God.
2 Thessalonians 3:10: Paul's command that if any will not work, neither should he eat, applied to welfare dependency.
Proverbs 31:10-12: The virtuous woman's worth and her husband's trust in her.
Proverbs 31:13-19: Description of the virtuous woman's industry and work.
Proverbs 31:20: She stretches out her hand to the poor and needy.
Hebrews 13:16: Do good and communicate, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
Galatians 6:10: Do good unto all men, especially the household of faith.
Proverbs 31:21-22: The virtuous woman prepares for winter and makes beautiful coverings.
Proverbs 22:3: A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself.
Proverbs 31:23: Her husband is known in the gates.
Proverbs 12:4: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.
Ephesians 5:33: Husbands love your wives; wives reverence your husbands.
1 Samuel 30:24: David's decree that those who stay with the stuff share alike with those who fight.
Proverbs 31:25: Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.
1 Timothy 2:9-10: Women adorn themselves in modest apparel with good works, not outward decoration.
1 Peter 3:1-6: Wives' chaste conduct and inner adorning of a meek and quiet spirit.
Proverbs 31:26: She opens her mouth with wisdom; in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31:28-29: Her children and husband praise her; many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Proverbs 1:1-5: The beginning of Proverbs focuses on the wise man, paralleling the wise woman of chapter 31.

Historical References

R.J. Rushdoony, 'The American Indian': Book detailing how government handouts destroyed the American Indian, used as a warning against welfare dependency.
Matthew Poole (commentator): Quoted on Proverbs 31:30: favor gives a false representation and is soon lost.
John Gill (commentator): Quoted on beauty: under a well-favored look often lies an ill-natured, depraved mind.
Jezebel (biblical figure): Example of a likely beautiful woman with a wicked, depraved mind.
Albert Barnes (commentator): Quoted on 'scarlet' in Proverbs 31:21 possibly meaning double garments for warmth.
John Trapp (Puritan commentator): Quoted on Proverbs 31:26: her mouth is discreetly opened, words few, true, and ponderous.
Adam Clarke (commentator): Quoted on Proverbs 31:26: the law of kindness is her most distinguishing excellence.

Important Quotes

Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

The central verse of the sermon, defining a real woman by her fear of the Lord rather than external qualities.

I've often said, though, in regards to both men and women, that as far as men are concerned, we have sired a generation of spineless, gutless, ignorant, and worthless individuals that go by the title of men.

Weaver's strong critique of modern masculinity, setting up the contrast with biblical manhood and womanhood.

Favor is deceitful. Now the word deceitful refers to that which is false, vain, wrong, a lie, a deception, and a disappointment.

Explanation of the Hebrew meaning, emphasizing that charm is inherently deceptive.

Beauty is vain. It's a vapor. It goes away.

Succinctly captures the transient nature of physical beauty.

A well-favored look, a graceful countenance, symmetry, and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, or vain and deceitful, oftentimes under them lies an ill-natured, deformed, and depraved mind.

John Gill's quote warning that external beauty often conceals inner corruption.

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands.

Highlights the virtuous woman's willing industry, a key theme of the sermon.

Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Emphasizes that the virtuous woman's true adornment is her character, leading to future joy.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Shows that the virtuous woman's speech is marked by wisdom and kindness, not harshness.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

What does it mean to 'fear the Lord' in practical daily life, and how does that distinguish a real woman or man?

[Context]

Weaver defines a real woman as one who fears the Lord, contrasting with external charm.

[Question]

How can we guard against being deceived by favor and beauty when evaluating potential spouses or friendships?

[Context]

Weaver warns that favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, using personal illustrations.

[Question]

In what ways does the Proverbs 31 woman's industry challenge modern attitudes toward work and dependency?

[Context]

Weaver contrasts the virtuous woman's work ethic with government dependency and laziness.

[Question]

How does a wife's reverence for her husband practically enable him to fulfill his God-given role?

[Context]

Weaver explains that a wife's attitude and work allow her husband to lead and serve in his calling.

[Question]

Why is inner character (a meek and quiet spirit) of greater value than outward adornment, according to 1 Peter 3?

[Context]

Weaver contrasts external beauty with the hidden man of the heart.

[Question]

What does it look like for a woman to have 'the law of kindness' on her tongue in her home and community?

[Context]

Weaver quotes commentators on Proverbs 31:26, emphasizing wisdom and kindness in speech.

[Question]

How can both men and women cultivate the fear of the Lord as the foundation for wisdom, as seen in Proverbs 1 and 31?

[Context]

Weaver notes the book of Proverbs begins with the wise man and ends with the wise woman.

Applications

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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T01:46:31Z