The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family

How not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2012-02-15

Synopsis: Pastor John Weaver uses the example of Jacob's sons in Genesis 37 to illustrate how adult children dishonor their parents through hatred, envy, and deliberate deception. He emphasizes that while obedience may change with adulthood, the command to honor parents is lifelong. The sermon warns that sins like envy and deception not only harm family relationships but also constitute a form of cursing one's parents, with severe spiritual consequences.

[John Weaver] Genesis 37 in Exodus chapter 20. Our main text, of course, is going to be Genesis 37, but I do want to read Exodus 20 and verse 12, and you will understand why, because Exodus 20 and verse 12 is the fifth commandment. And God says in Exodus 20 and verse 12, honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land, which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Now, if you'll look in Genesis 37, and beginning there with verse 1, and we're not going to read the entire chapter, although we're going to be using the entire chapter. And Jacob dwelt in the land wherein his father was a stranger in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob.

[John Weaver] Joseph, being 17 years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was a son of his old age, and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren, and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, Here I pray you this dream which I have dreamed.

[John Weaver] For behold, we were binding sheaves in the field. And lo, my sheaf arose and also stood upright. And behold, your sheaf stood round about and made obeisance to my sheaf. And his brethren said unto him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? Or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream. And he told it his brethren and said, Behold, I've dreamed a dream more. And behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me. And he told it to his father and to his brethren, and his father rebuked him and said to them, what is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down ourselves to thee in the earth? And his brethren envied him, but his father observed the same. The message today is entitled how not to treat your father and your mother. The example I'm going to give you today is an example.

[John Weaver] from grown or from adult children. The pettiness, the wickedness, and the deception that I'm going to be talking about might be understood in some degree if it came from small or little children who did not have the ability to think things through to a logical conclusion or at least did not possess understanding. But it is indeed what I'm going to share with you from what you and I would know as adult children. Do you realize that God requires two things from children? Those two things are obedience and honor. God says in Ephesians 6 verses 1 and 2, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment of the promise.

[John Weaver] that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth." Now, strictly speaking, we might could say that there is a time when, generally speaking, obedience ceases. And that time would be, of course, when the child has grown, has married, and has left his parents' home, and established a home of his own, and therefore he is now the head of a new home, or the wife is now in submission to her husband. However, I do believe that even a grown child is obligated under God's law to continue to obey his parents as long as he can, and especially if the grown child is living at home under his parents' roof.

[John Weaver] And you've got to also think about this. Even as an adult child, when we return home to visit our parents, They are still our parents. It is their home and we should try to obey them as much as we could to the best of our ability. We certainly would want to do so out of honor and respect for them as much as possible. Now, if you wanted to even quibble over an adult child obeying his parents when he's at home, you might get quibble just a little bit, but you cannot quibble over honor thy father and thy mother. Because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.

[John Weaver] Now, Jacob's sons in Genesis 37 gives us an excellent example on how not to treat our parents. Let me assure you of one thing that the Bible is the inspired inerrant, infallible word of God. It was indeed written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and I believe that I can prove that to you just simply by reading Genesis 37. Because if the Bible was simply the work of man, they would have left out what is recorded in Genesis 37, for it is indeed shameful and embarrassing to men. So the very fact that we have shameful and embarrassing deeds recorded show us that it's far more than the work of man. So the message today is how not to honor or how not to treat our father and our mother. How not to treat our father and our mother. First of all, let me just point out, we are not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings.

[John Weaver] That is the brothers and the sisters. We're not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings.

[John Weaver] Now, very obviously, Joseph's brethren hated him. And I'm going to point out a little bit later they also hated their father. It is indeed unnatural to hate your family. However, we're told in Romans 1 in verse 31 and in 2 Timothy chapter 3 in verse 3 that there are some who are without natural affection. We're also told in Galatians 5 in verse 20 that hatred is a work of the flesh. Moreover, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 10 in verse 12 that hatred stirreth up strife, but love covereth all sins.

[John Weaver] So let's begin asking a question. How in the world did hatred and envy arise in the sons of Jacob? Well, the answer is going to be, first and foremost, that hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to notice what I just said. Hatred and envy often arrive from a perceived, that is, or from a perception or a perceived advantage or partiality. In other words, the advantage does not have to be real. The partiality does not have to be real. But just if individuals perceive that it is real and that it is true. And you know the story in Genesis chapter 37 how that here Joseph was given this coat of many colors and I'll explain that just momentarily. And then I just read you about the dreams. How Joseph dreamed that they were out in the field and all the sheaves of his brothers bowed down to him. And then of course he dreamed another dream how the sun and the moon and the stars bowed down to him. And they were upset.

[John Weaver] And even Jacob said, is it true that I, your father and your mother and your brethren are all going to bow down to you? So here were things that would be a perceived advantage that Joseph had, which would stir up what you and I would call hatred and envy. Now, let me deal with this phrase, because the Bible says very plainly, verse 2, These are the generations of Jacob, Joseph being 17 years old. Now skip down to verse 3. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and here it is reading, because he was a son of his old age, and he made him a coat of many colors.

[John Weaver] Now that verse could also be read like this. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and he was a son of his old age.

[John Weaver] Now, it is true that elderly parents normally dote over young children. That's true. And if you don't believe that, just watch our grandparents act about their grandkids. But you have to remember this. Joseph was not the youngest child. He had a brother younger than he was, Benjamin. Moreover, may I remind you that Benjamin was born as Rachel died. So if there's going to be special consideration given, it would certainly be given toward Benjamin even more so than Joseph. So how then do we understand this, that Israel loved Joseph more than all his children and or because he was a son of his old age? The son of the old age is a phrase that may be interpreted to refer to a wise son.

[John Weaver] Let me explain that this way. That Joseph was a son who possessed wisdom above his years. You could say it like this. He had an old head on young shoulders. Joseph then was a wise and prudent son. And old age is normally associated with wisdom and prudence, not always, but it usually is And so the phrase then actually would refer to Joseph as one who was born old or one who was born wise above his years. In other words, one that had a gray head at such a young age.

[John Weaver] Now Joseph was indeed a child like this and good evidence is given just in this chapter as well. Because if you look back at verse 2, these are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being 17 years old was feeding the flock with his brethren. And the land was with the sons of Bilhad, with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.

[John Weaver] Now I'll just tell you right now, I don't know what those boys were doing, but it was certainly wrong. It was certainly wicked. And Joseph brought the report to his father. I'll say something about that a little bit later. Moreover, you've got to remember that in verse 17, verse 2 it is, Joseph was 17 years of age when he was sold into slavery. Which means then that he would have been probably 18 or 19 in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar's wife made her play for him. And so Joseph then did not allow his teenage hormones to take over. He stood for principle and stood for that which was right. So Joseph then, throughout the scripture, is known for a virtuous and godly life. And this was evidenced at a very early age.

[John Weaver] Now, the coat of many colors that was given to him was Jacob's recognition of his character. But it was not only Jacob's recognition of his character, it was a coat that conferred upon Joseph the rights of the firstborn. Now it is true that Joseph was the firstborn of Rachel, but it is not true that Joseph was actually Jacob's firstborn. Jacob's firstborn was Reuben. Reuben should have actually gotten the birthright, but he did not do so.

[John Weaver] And let me just quote it for you. First Chronicles chapter 5 verse 1, now the sons of Reuben the firstborn of Israel, for he was the firstborn, but for as much as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph, the son of Israel, and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright. So Reuben then went into his father's wife, to one of the handmaids, it was given to Jacob, and Jacob said, no, you will not be the firstborn you will not have the birthright you may be the actual firstborn but your character demonstrates that you're not worthy to have the birthright and so here Joseph has a godly character and he is replacing Reuben and receiving the inheritance of the firstborn.

[John Weaver] Secondly let me point out that hatred and envy arise oftentimes when one refuses to betray his principles. When he refuses to compromise. So in verse 2, again, Joseph refuses to go along with his brethren. I do not know what they were going to do. Whatever they were doing was obviously wicked. It was going to be detrimental to Jacob. Maybe they were going to defraud Jacob. Maybe they were going to steal some of the sheep. Maybe they were going to sell some of the cattle. I don't know. But whatever it was, Joseph said, no, that is not right. That is wicked. That is wrong. I will not participate. I will not go along. And not only did he not go along, he came back and told his father exactly what they were doing. May I remind you in this instance, Joseph was not a tail-bearer, he was not a gossiper, he was not a troublemaker, he was not a sore of discord among the brethren. What Joseph was doing was bringing the problem to the one who could fix the problem.

[John Weaver] He brought the problem to the one who had the solution and could do something about it. So very obviously, oftentimes, Hatred and envy will arise when you're wicked and you try to get someone else to go along with you and they won't do it. And then you call it Mr. Goody-two-shoes and you begin to make fun of him. And the next thing you know, there's pure despisement of him.

[John Weaver] Thirdly, I want to point out that hatred and envy are personal sins that affect behavior and lead to tragedy and disaster. I want you to look at verse four. Watch this verse carefully. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably toward him. Now their inability to speak peaceably to Joseph was not a physical inability, but a moral one. They still had the ability with their tongues to frame the words, to speak peacefully and civilly. But their moral inability, that is they hated him so they could not do so.

[John Weaver] Sin affects every area of our lives. You stop and ask yourself this question. How can one brother murder another brother? Or how can one sister murder another sister? And we have often read and heard of one child murdering an entire family. How in the world can that happen? You always find that those individuals who do something like that are filled with hatred and envy. They are selfish, they are self-willed, they are wicked. I have heard, I have read of teenagers murdering their parents over video games. I have read of individuals murdering their brothers over 50 cents.

[John Weaver] Sometimes even much less than that. I remember when I was in college. I worked at the hospital and sometimes I was on the back desk by the emergency room. And I never will forget, I saw a man come in. His throat was cut from ear to ear. He had a towel catching the blood as he walked into the emergency room. Evidently, thankfully it did not hit the jugular vein. He was holding that bleeding and as he walked by my desk, I heard him say, my son did this to me.

[John Weaver] He said, I don't didn't give him any reason to it. I guess when I get over this, I'm going to have to go home and kill him. I'm just simply pointing out the fact folks, when anyone is filled with hatred and envy. And when they cannot discuss their own problems or speak civilly or peacefully to someone, it's not going to be long before disaster strikes. So we dishonor our parents then by allowing hatred and envy among the siblings. When brothers and sisters cannot get along and they're envious and hateful toward each other, It's wicked and it's dishonoring to the parents.

[John Weaver] Secondly, I want you to note that deliberately trying to denigrate, derail, and destroy the vocation or the calling of the siblings is dishonorable to the parents. Evidently, the providence of God had marked Joseph out for an unusual service. Joseph was not endeavoring to lord it over his brethren by simply sharing with them his dreams. He told them, your sheaves bow down to mine. The sun and the moon, the stars bow down to me.

[John Weaver] Let me ask you a question. If God in His sovereign providence had marked Joseph out for an unusual service, an unusual calling, why was there not encouragement? Why was there suspicion and resentment? Even if Joseph had come to a place of prominence, even if Joseph had come to a place of superiority, may I ask you a question? Would you not rather have your brother to rule over you than a stranger?

[John Weaver] I don't know about you, but I add. Because if he's my flesh and blood, if he's my family, very obviously, He's going to be more gentle and more tender toward me than a stranger would. And by the way, you have to understand that in this day and time, in the day and time of Genesis chapter 37, the eldest son was already favored and had the place of prominence and dominance.

[John Weaver] So why then are they upset with Joseph? Because evidently in his dreams, God was marking him out for an unusual vocation. Now, in order to demonstrate that Joseph was not arrogant, he was not proud, he was not boastful, he was not high-handed, I want you to consider his attitude. Look in verse 13. And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem?

[John Weaver] Come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said unto them, Here I am.

[John Weaver] Now, I do not know how long the journey or how uncomfortable the weather or how difficult the terrain was. However, whatever his father desired, Joseph was willing to do. He did not whine. He did not bellyache. He did not complain. He did not try to hide himself. He said, Here I am. I'm willing to do whatever you want me to do. It's just that simple. His attitude was, I'm ready to obey. I'm ready to do whatever you ask, and I will do it to the best of my ability. Now, I want you to note something else.

[John Weaver] He said in verse 13, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, I will send thee unto them. And he said, Here I am. Skip down to verse 17. After he gets to Shechem, his brethren are not there. And so he finds the man, and he asks where his brethren are. And the man said, They are departed hence. For I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan. And Joseph went after his brethren and found them in Dothan."

[John Weaver] So here then is another complication. Here is more trouble, here is more effort, here is more work, and yet I want you to note that Joseph is intent on obeying his father. His father had sent him to check on his brethren and to check on his flocks, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Joseph's attitude was not only one of obedience, but Joseph's attitude was one I will finish the job that my father has given me.

[John Weaver] He could have, after he had gotten to Shechem and they were not there, he could have turned around and gone back home and said, well, dad, I'm sorry, they weren't there. I tried, but I couldn't find them. And they had left and gone somewhere. He could have done that, but he did not do that. He refused to give up. He refused to give in. He had been given a task and He was going to see it through.

[John Weaver] Let me point out the fact, here's where most Christians and most children fail. We give up too easily. We do not finish the job. We do not finish the task that has been assigned to us. We have to learn a simple lesson. It is easier to do something right the first time, even if it requires more time, than it is to go back four or five times and redo it.

[John Weaver] Joseph said, I'm going to do it. I'll do exactly what my father wants. It's more work. It's more effort. But that's fine. That's what he wants. That's exactly what I'm going to do. So I want you to note here is his attitude. Joseph's actions, his attitude, and his language did not indicate at all that he was seeking dominion for dominion's sake. He was simply honest and he was straightforward.

[John Weaver] He merely told the dreams that God had given him. He relayed them. He shared them. But I want you to note, his brothers were not only willing to reject and destroy the dreams, they were also ready to reject and destroy Joseph as well. The interesting thing is, there was no encouragement from any of the family. The only thing that we read is this, verse 11, and his brethren envied him, but his father observed the saying.

[John Weaver] The word observe means to guard, to watch, to keep, or to mark. So Jacob was not pushing, Jacob was not encouraging, Jacob was just simply waiting and watching and observing to see how things would work out. Joseph's brethren, however, were not willing to wait. They were not willing to observe. They were not willing to watch. They wanted Joseph and they wanted his dreams destroyed. That's why in verse 11 the Bible said his brothers envied him.

[John Weaver] Now the word envy and the word jealous Always go together. Let me give you some scriptures. Proverbs 14 in verse 30. The Bible says this, a sound heart is life to the flesh, but envy is rottenness to the bones. A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 27 verse four teaches us that wrath is cruel. And anger is outrageous and listen to this, but who is able to stand before envy? Wrath is cruel. Anger is outrageous, but notice this question, who is able to stand before envy? It was envy that delivered Joseph to the pit. It was envy that sold Joseph into slavery. It was envy that delivered Christ up to Pilate. It was envy that led the Jews to persecute the apostles. And Titus 3 in verse 3 tells us that it is envy that motivates us to be hateful and to hate one another. Here's the problem with envy. Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.

[John Weaver] That way, neither the one who possesses it nor the one who is envious or anyone else can have it. They just simply want it destroyed. That's why a lot of times men kill their wives. Wives kill their husbands. Boyfriend kills girlfriend, girlfriend kills boyfriend. Why? Because they're envious and their attitude is this, if I can have her, no one will. That's envy. That's why God asks, who can stand before envy? Mark this down, children, no matter their age, I don't care if you're 60, I don't care if you're 40, I don't care if you're 20, I don't care if you're 10, No matter their age, no matter their profession, when they're filled with envy and jealousy, it is dishonoring to their parents and it destroys not only the lives of the siblings, but it also destroys the life of the one who's filled with envy and jealousy as well.

[John Weaver] And I will point out, it will destroy the entire family. You've got to understand that one sin always leads to another sin. And when it does, then sins begin to flow together. So, how do we not treat our parents? We do not treat them with Indian hatred. We do not treat them with Indian hatred among the siblings. We do not treat them when we're trying to deny or denigrate or destroy some vocation or some calling that God has upon them. We ought to be thankful that God places a call upon our brothers. We ought to be thankful that God would elevate one of them and use them for His honor and His glory. But here's the main point I want to make today. We dishonor our parents through deliberate deception. I want you to look beginning there at verse 20.

[John Weaver] The brothers saw Joseph coming and they said, come now therefore and let us slay him and cast him into some pit and we will say some evil beast hath devoured him and we shall see what will become of his dreams. Deception is a lie. Yet deception is more than a lie. It is a distortion of reality and it is a deliberate attempt to make our parents think and believe something totally opposite than reality or that which is really the state of things. Joseph's brethren stole his coat, ripped it into shreds and dipped it in the blood. They knew exactly what their father would think. They knew that their father would think and perceive that Joseph was killed by a wild animal. Now I want you to look at how cold How premeditated their plan of deception was in verse 20 come now therefore Let us slay him and cast him into some pit lords No, one will ever find him and we will say this is our this is our deception We will say some evil

[John Weaver] beast hath devoured him and we shall see what will become of his dreams Now to show you their plans skip on down to verse 23 and it came to pass when Joseph was coming to his brethren that they stripped Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colors that was on him, and they took him and cast him into a pit, and the pit was empty where there was no water. So they actually put their plan into working. They're going to work this plan out. Skip down if you would to verses 31 and 32. And they took Joseph's coat and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood. And they sent the coat of many colors, and they brought it to their father and said, this have we found. Know now whether it be thy son's coat or no. And he knew it and said, it is my son's coat. An evil beast had devoured him. Joseph is without doubt written in pieces. I want you to know their deception worked exactly as they had planned.

[John Weaver] I want to show you some assumptions that Jacob made. Jacob assumed that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild animal. Jacob assumed that he had loving, obedient children. Jacob assumed that his sons would never hurt their brother. Jacob assumed that the death and disappearance of Joseph could not possibly have been at the hands of his sons. Jacob could not and would not ever entertain such a thought. We might possibly understand the envy and jealousy of the brothers And we might possibly understand how they could hate Joseph because of their perception of his dreams and because of his promotion to administrator of the estate by their father. But the question remains, how could they hate their father so to perpetrate such a deception upon him? By the way, I want you to note Jacob's response and the evidence that convinced him that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild beast. Look in verse 34.

[John Weaver] And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted, and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning, thus his father wept for him." Now I want you to know, Jacob put on sackcloth and ashes. He mourned, the scripture says, many days for his sons. When all of his sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, he refused to be comforted and he said, I'll go down to the grave mourning for my son. Thus the father wept for him.

[John Weaver] Now the question must be asked, how could those who knew the truth bear to see their father mourn and suffer and agonize over a lost and dead child when they knew the child was not dead? How could they put their father through such agony? How could they bear to watch their father from day to day as he sorrowed over his son. It is absolutely beyond my comprehension to see how any child or children could deliberately perpetrate such a hoax and deception upon their father and mother and then watch them agonize day after day. Incidentally, in verse 34 Jacob said, that he would mourn for his son many days. And Jacob also said in verse 35, I'll go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him, so Jacob's mourning was neither light nor temporary. And these sons had to watch their father suffer and agonize over a son whom he genuinely believed was dead But they knew who was alive.

[John Weaver] Now I want you to listen carefully. I want you to watch. Go back to Genesis 37 and verse 2. These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being how old? 17 years old. Okay.

[John Weaver] Now turn in your Bibles. to Genesis 41 and look at verse 46 Genesis 41 verse 46 and Joseph was 30 years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt hmm 13 years had passed well now wait a minute you remember how God got Jacob and his sons down into Egypt. You remember the dream that he gave to Pharaoh? There were going to be seven years of famine, I mean seven years of plenty, and then seven years of famine. During the seven years of plenty, Joseph was laying up. Everybody had plenty. Then came the seven years of famine. So you have to add, to these 13 years another 7 for the 7 years of fullness that's 20 years and another 2 years when it took them to run out of food to get down into Egypt and if you would look in Genesis 45 and verse 6 you will read this Genesis 45 verse 6 Joseph is speaking to his brothers and he said for these 2 years hath the famine been in the land, and yet there are five years in which there shall be no earing or harvest."

[John Weaver] So, let's put this together. 13 and 7 and 2, which means this, for a minimum of 22 years. These sons deceived their father. And for 22 years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead.

[John Weaver] Now folks, I'll be honest with you. It is exceedingly difficult for me to believe that in 22 years, there was no repentance, there was no remorse, there was no change of heart. How could you keep such a secret from your father for 22 years? How could you watch him agonize and suffer for 22 years? And by the way, he did so. If you don't believe that, look back in Genesis 44. Go back to Genesis 44. Because don't you remember, when Benjamin finally came down into Egypt, then Joseph was going to keep Benjamin, his younger brother, to ensure that these brothers were not spies. Of course, Joseph knew who they were. But look in Genesis chapter 44, beginning there with verse 32.

[John Weaver] And here's what Judas said. Look carefully now. Genesis 44 verse 32. He said, in fact, let's go back to verse 31. In fact, let's read verse 30. He says, Now therefore, when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us, seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life, It shall come to pass when he see that the light is not with us that he will die. And thy servant shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father, with sorrow to the grave. For thy servant became surety for the land unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then shall I bear the blame to my father for ever. Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the land of Bondman, my lord, and let that glad go up with his brethren. For how shall I go up to my father, and the land be not with me? Lest, peradventure, I see the evil that shall come upon my father."

[John Weaver] How did he know how his father would react? Because he'd already seen how he reacted when he thought Joseph was dead. And for 22 years they had seen the evil.

[John Weaver] Now let me point something out. The boys may have begun with minor deceptions concerning the flocks. Back in Genesis 37 in verse 2, I told you earlier, I do not know what they were planning on doing, but whatever it was, was wicked and evil. They may have begun with minor deceptions, but minor deceptions paved the way for major deceptions. And minor sins paved the way for major sins.

[John Weaver] Disobediences always run into open rebellion. It is wicked and wrong to deceive your parents. And I will say this for the teenagers. I'll say this for the young people. If you tell your parents that you're going to one place and then you go to another place, that's deception. If you tell your parents that you're going to be with one set of friends and then you hightail it to some place where you're not supposed to be and hang out with friends that you know that your parents would not approve of and they do not want you to associate with, that is deception. When you tell them that you're going to do something and do it right and you do not perform it, that is deception.

[John Weaver] And the Bible says in Isaiah 44 and verse 20, a deceived heart hath turned him aside. The reason we're deceived is because we're deceivers. And deception is wicked and wrong. How in the world can children deceive their parents as did Jacob's sons? You have to ask what was the root of their deception. We do not perceive the depth of the sin of deception. Deception involves dishonor, disrespect, even denial.

[John Weaver] And I will go further. Deception involves cursing your parents. Let me say that again. Deception involves cursing your parents. And before I explain this, may I point out the fact that you may curse your parents. And never use a slang word and never use a curse word. I want you to turn in your Bibles very quickly to the book of Exodus chapter 21. I want to show you several verses. Exodus 21 and let's begin reading there with verse 17. Exodus 21 verse 17. Look what God says. Exodus 21 verse 17. God says, and he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. Look in the book of Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20 verse 9.

[John Weaver] What does God say? For everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. He hath cursed his father or his mother, his blood shall be upon him.

[John Weaver] Now turn right over to the book of Proverbs chapter 20 and look at verse 20. Proverbs 20 and verse 20. Proverbs 20 verse 20.

[John Weaver] Look what God says. Proverbs 20 verse 20. Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness. That is, he'll die. Then if you look in Proverbs 30 and verse 11. Proverbs 30 and verse 11. And God says, there is a generation that curseth their father and doth not bless their mother." There is a generation that curses their father and doth not bless their mother. There is another passage that says, he that curses his father and mother, the ravens shall pick out his eyes. He'll die.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to understand something. The Hebrew word for curse, means to treat as a like thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor, to treat as despicable, to treat as little account or worth, or to treat as valueless or worthless. By the way, deception does all of these.

[John Weaver] Now I want you to turn in your Bibles to Matthew 15 and Mark 7 because our Lord makes an application of all of these verses. Look in Matthew chapter 15 and then go ahead and turn to Mark 7. Matthew 15 and Mark 7. I want you to look at what our Lord says. Matthew 15 beginning there with verse 1. The Pharisees also, with the Sadducees, came in tempting, desired him that he would show them a...

[John Weaver] Oh, that was in 1615 is what it was, I'm sorry. Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, Why did our disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they washed not their hands when they ate bread. But he answered and said to them, Why do you also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition for God? Commanded saying honor thy father thy mother and he that curseth father mother let him die the death But you say whosoever shall say to his father's mother It is a gift now whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me and honor not his father's mother He shall be free thus if you made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition Now, whole Matthew 15, but look in Mark chapter 7, if you would please, at verse 10.

[John Weaver] It's exactly the same thing. I'm just reading verse 10 right now. Because our Lord says, For Moses said, Honor thy father and thy mother. And whoso curseth his father and mother, let him die the death. Verse 11. But you say, If a man shall say unto his father and mother, It is Corban, that is to say a gift, By whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me, he shall be free. And you suffer him no more to do aught for his father or his mother, making the word of God a none effect through your tradition, which you have delivered and many such like things you do. Now notice what our Lord is talking about. In Matthew 15 and in Mark 7, he uses the word curse. Here, the Greek word is kakalego, which means to curse.

[John Weaver] to speak evil of, to abuse and revile. Now if you look in Matthew 15 and verse 4, our Lord says, for God commanded. Isn't that interesting? Now if you look in Mark 7 and verse 10, for Moses said, well who was it that said it, God or Moses? Obviously both of them. It was God who spoke through Moses. And Moses penned the word of God. And so when you go back to Matthew 15 in verse 4, For God commanded, Honor thy father and thy mother, and he that curseth father and mother, let him die the death. How do you curse your father and your mother? You curse them, of course, by abusing them, speaking evil against them, dishonoring them. That is true.

[John Weaver] But we're talking about deception. Now I want you to look in Matthew 15 verse 5. But you say, whosoever shall say to his father's mother, it is a gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me, and honor not his father's mother, he shall be free. Thus have you made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

[John Weaver] Now the phrase, it is a gift, is the word korban in Mark 7. The word Korban is just simply a Hebrew word denoting a gift. Here in Matthew 15 the word gift and the word Korban in Mark chapter 7 refers to something that is dedicated to God or dedicated to the service of God and since it is dedicated to God or to the service of God it cannot be appropriated for any other use. Now I want you to watch something.

[John Weaver] The sin of cursing one's parents is here opposed to the duty of honoring one's parents. It is true that those who speak ill of their parents, abuse them, mock them, wish them ill, taunt them, speak to them disrespectfully, violate the fifth commandment. But it is not sufficient that our language be respectful. Do you not remember in Matthew 21 and verse 30 where our Lord is talking about the parable of the two sons?

[John Weaver] And he said to the one son, go work today in my vineyard. And he said, I go, sir, and went not. He was very respectful. But he was very disobedient. Now my question was this, was that son who was respectful, was he not cursing his parents? Well, of course. where he was deceiving them. He told his father he was going to work in the vineyard, but he didn't go.

[John Weaver] It was a deliberate deception. It was a lie.

[John Weaver] Now our Lord teaches us that the fifth commandment, listen carefully, obliges children to relieve their aged and elderly parents and their necessities. That is the concept used in Matthew 15 and Mark 7 when he talks about honoring your father and your mother.

[John Weaver] Now here's what the Pharisees had done. The Pharisees said it is more important for a man to dedicate his property and his money to God than it would be to relieve the needs of its elderly parents. It did not matter how poor his parents were, did not matter how elderly they were, did not matter how hungry they were, did not matter how desperately in need of medical attention they were. If a son just simply said Corban over his property, over his money, that meant then that money was dedicated to God and that's what our Lord said, thus you shall be free. In other words, the Pharisees said you're free. What they're free from? Free from helping their parents. free from alleviating the needs of their parents. By the way, you remember I talked about the eldest son? And you remember the eldest son always got a double portion of the inheritance? Do you know why? Because it was the eldest son's responsibility, his duty, and his privilege to take care of his parents when they were old and they could not take care of themselves.

[John Weaver] He got a double portion just for that. And so the Pharisees are saying here, or you got to do is say Corban, it's a gift of God. And who would expect you to take that which is dedicated to God and use it for such a mundane thing as feeding your elderly parents? Or buying medicine for them? I mean, come on. This is God's money. You can't use God's money. What did our Lord say? God said you're cursing your parents. When God said, honor thy father and thy mother.

[John Weaver] I want you to turn in your Bibles to first Timothy chapter five. First Timothy chapter five. And look if you would please at verse four. First Timothy chapter five, verse four. Look what God says. First Timothy five, verse four. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and to requite their parents, for that is good and acceptable before God. But if any widow have children or nephews, so we've got the immediate family and we have the extended family. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and requite their parents for that is good and acceptable before God. Now, first, I want you to note the word piety. The word piety is another word for godliness or holiness. So he says, let the children learn to show godliness at home. Well, how do you show godliness at home? He said, and to requite their parents. Secondly, I want you to note the word requite.

[John Weaver] It literally means to pay back. How can children pay back their parents? Well, I want you to think about this. Your parents took care of you when you could not take care of yourself. They fed you when you could not feed yourself. They clothed you when you could not clothe yourself. They doctored you when you could not doctor yourself. They provided for your education. They provided for your medical attention. They provided everything for you.

[John Weaver] And now God says that you are an adult. And your parents are elderly and they cannot take care of themselves. You need to requite them. Pay them back. And He said, this is good and acceptable before God.

[John Weaver] Now skip down to verse 8. I want you to see what he says. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he's denied of faith, and is worse than an infidel. What? So God says if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel. A violation of God's law, especially a violation of the fifth commandment, he says, is a denial of the faith and makes one worse than an infidel.

[John Weaver] Now I want you to think back on the text that we chose, Genesis 37. What did Jacob's sons do to their father? They cursed him for 22 years. For they failed to provide the comfort and the solace and the knowledge that he needed to be reunited to Joseph. For 22 years, they withheld the need of their father. They allowed him to suffer mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually when they had the ability to free him from his suffering.

[John Weaver] Their hatred, their envy and their deception was a violation of God's law. How not to treat your parents? Let me make some applications. The first one is this. God's law, of course, demands that we love and honor our parents. Now, I realize our parents are not perfect. Our parents are sinful. Some of us have unsaved parents. I understand that. There are no perfect parents. But the truth of the matter is this. They're still our parents. And God still requires us to honor them and obey them while we can.

[John Weaver] What did our Lord say in John 5 in verse 23? Let me quote it. That all men should honor the son even as they honor the father. Now listen carefully. He that honoreth not the son honoreth not the father who had sinned him. So God then has sovereignly provided our parents. I know that many of us have parents that have gone on. I understand that. But God has sovereignly provided our parents. And when we refuse our parents, we're also refusing Him who gave us our parents. Did you know, actually, this is the way it should be. The parents should always be a prophet, priest, and king to their children. They should be a prophet to declare unto them the word of God, a priest to intercede for them, and a king to rule over them biblically. Do our parents fail in those areas? Many times. But they're still our parents. And I realize this, that God still calls upon us to honor them and not curse them.

[John Weaver] The second application is this. If you will not love and honor and obey your parents now, if you will not do for them now while you're young, what makes you think you're going to take care of them when you're old? I mean, if you're in the habit of cursing your parents, what makes you think all of a sudden you're going to change and start honoring them? Do you realize that now is the time to love them? Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to communicate with them. Now is the time to work out differences. Now is the time to forgive. Now is the time because one of these days our parents will not be around. It's time now. God says honor your father and your mother. He that curseth father and mother, let him die the death. Here's the last one.

[John Weaver] You have to remember, God's law teaches that we reap what we sow. Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents. And if I want my children to love me and honor me and help me, I need to love and honor and help my parents because you do reap exactly what you sow. Just stop and think. There is a proper way to treat your parents biblically. And there is a way not to treat your parents.

[John Weaver] Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we bow to thee. We thank you. For your love, for your word, for your truth. We ask that you speak to our hearts, help us, convict us, build us up in the most holy faith. Make us God being holy in the name of Jesus Christ. We ask and pray. Amen.

How not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	U8VwMB_NE9w
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2012-02-15
Dictation Name
Book	Book 028: The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness — Chapter 9
Source Timed Segments	82

Formatted Transcript

Introduction and the Fifth Commandment

The sermon opens by reading Exodus 20:12 and introducing the topic of how not to treat parents, using the adult sons of Jacob as the primary example.

Genesis 37 and Exodus chapter 20. Our main text, of course, is going to be Genesis 37, but I do want to read Exodus 20 and verse 12, and you will understand why, because Exodus 20 and verse 12 is the fifth commandment. And God says in Exodus 20 and verse 12,

Scripture Reading — Exodus 20:12

"Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

Now, if you'll look in Genesis 37, and beginning there with verse 1, and we're not going to read the entire chapter, although we're going to be using the entire chapter. "And Jacob dwelt in the land wherein his father was a stranger, in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob." "Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him. And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed."

"For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf. And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me. And he told it to his father, and to his brethren: and his father rebuked him, and said unto him, What is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down ourselves to thee to the earth? And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying." The message today is entitled "How Not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother." The example I'm going to give you today is an example

God's Two Requirements: Obedience and Honor

God requires both obedience and honor from children. While obedience may lessen when a child leaves home, the duty to honor parents never ceases.

from grown, or from adult children. The pettiness, the wickedness, and the deception that I'm going to be talking about might be understood in some degree if it came from small or little children who did not have the ability to think things through to a logical conclusion or at least did not possess understanding. But it is indeed what I'm going to share with you from what you and I would know as adult children. Do you realize that God requires two things from children? Those two things are obedience and honor. God says in Ephesians 6, verses 1 and 2, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Now, strictly speaking, we might could say that there is a time when, generally speaking, obedience ceases. And that time would be, of course, when the child has grown, has married, and has left his parents' home, and established a home of his own, and therefore he is now the head of a new home, or the wife is now in submission to her husband. However, I do believe that even a grown child is obligated under God's law to continue to obey his parents as long as he can, and especially if the grown child is living at home under his parents' roof. And you've got to also think about this. Even as an adult child, when we return home to visit our parents, they are still our parents. It is their home and we should try to obey them as much as we could to the best of our ability. We certainly would want to do so out of honor and respect for them as much as possible. Now, if you wanted to even quibble over an adult child obeying his parents when he's at home, you might get quibble just a little bit, but you cannot quibble over "honour thy father and thy mother." Because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.

Dishonoring Parents Through Hatred and Envy Among Siblings

Hatred and envy among siblings dishonor parents. These sins often arise from perceived favoritism or when one sibling refuses to compromise with wickedness.

Scripture Reading — Romans 1:31

That is the brothers and the sisters. We're not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings. Now, very obviously, Joseph's brethren hated him. And I'm going to point out a little bit later they also hated their father. It is indeed unnatural to hate your family. However, we're told in Romans 1, in verse 31, and in 2 Timothy chapter 3, in verse 3, that there are some who are without natural affection. We're also told in Galatians 5, in verse 20, that hatred is a work of the flesh. Moreover, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 10, in verse 12, that "hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins."

So let's begin asking a question. How in the world did hatred and envy arise in the sons of Jacob? Well, the answer is going to be, first and foremost, that hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality, as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority. Now, I want you to notice what I just said. Hatred and envy often arise from a perceived—that is, from a perception or a perceived advantage or partiality. In other words, the advantage does not have to be real. The partiality does not have to be real. But just if individuals perceive that it is real and that it is true. And you know the story in Genesis chapter 37 how that here Joseph was given this coat of many colours, and I'll explain that just momentarily. And then I just read you about the dreams. How Joseph dreamed that they were out in the field and all the sheaves of his brothers bowed down to him. And then of course he dreamed another dream how the sun and the moon and the stars bowed down to him. And they were upset.

And even Jacob said, "Is it true that I, your father, and your mother, and your brethren are all going to bow down to you?" So here were things that would be a perceived advantage that Joseph had, which would stir up what you and I would call hatred and envy. Now, let me deal with this phrase, because the Bible says very plainly, verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old..." Now skip down to verse 3. "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children," and here it is reading, "because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours."

Now that verse could also be read like this: "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and he was the son of his old age." Now, it is true that elderly parents normally dote over young children. That's true. And if you don't believe that, just watch our grandparents act about their grandkids. But you have to remember this. Joseph was not the youngest child. He had a brother younger than he was, Benjamin. Moreover, may I remind you that Benjamin was born as Rachel died. So if there's going to be special consideration given, it would certainly be given toward Benjamin even more so than Joseph. So how then do we understand this, that Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and/or because he was the son of his old age? The "son of the old age" is a phrase that may be interpreted to refer to a wise son.

Let me explain that this way. That Joseph was a son who possessed wisdom above his years. You could say it like this: He had an old head on young shoulders. Joseph then was a wise and prudent son. And old age is normally associated with wisdom and prudence—not always, but it usually is. And so the phrase then actually would refer to Joseph as one who was born old, or one who was born wise above his years. In other words, one that had a gray head at such a young age.

Now Joseph was indeed a child like this, and good evidence is given just in this chapter as well. Because if you look back at verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report." Now I'll just tell you right now, I don't know what those boys were doing, but it was certainly wrong. It was certainly wicked. And Joseph brought the report to his father. I'll say something about that a little bit later. Moreover, you've got to remember that in verse 2 it is, Joseph was seventeen years of age when he was sold into slavery. Which means then that he would have been probably eighteen or nineteen in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar's wife made her play for him. And so Joseph then did not allow his teenage hormones to take over. He stood for principle and stood for that which was right. So Joseph then, throughout the scripture, is known for a virtuous and godly life. And this was evidenced at a very early age.

Now, the coat of many colours that was given to him was Jacob's recognition of his character. But it was not only Jacob's recognition of his character, it was a coat that conferred upon Joseph the rights of the firstborn. Now it is true that Joseph was the firstborn of Rachel, but it is not true that Joseph was actually Jacob's firstborn. Jacob's firstborn was Reuben. Reuben should have actually gotten the birthright, but he did not do so. And let me just quote it for you. 1 Chronicles chapter 5, verse 1:

Scripture Reading — 1 Chronicles 5:1

"Now the sons of Reuben the firstborn of Israel, (for he was the firstborn; but, forasmuch as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph the son of Israel: and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright."

So Reuben then went into his father's wife, to one of the handmaids, it was given to Jacob, and Jacob said, "No, you will not be the firstborn. You will not have the birthright. You may be the actual firstborn, but your character demonstrates that you're not worthy to have the birthright." And so here Joseph has a godly character and he is replacing Reuben and receiving the inheritance of the firstborn.

Secondly, let me point out that hatred and envy arise oftentimes when one refuses to betray his principles. When he refuses to compromise. So in verse 2, again, Joseph refuses to go along with his brethren. I do not know what they were going to do. Whatever they were doing was obviously wicked. It was going to be detrimental to Jacob. Maybe they were going to defraud Jacob. Maybe they were going to steal some of the sheep. Maybe they were going to sell some of the cattle. I don't know. But whatever it was, Joseph said, "No, that is not right. That is wicked. That is wrong. I will not participate. I will not go along." And not only did he not go along, he came back and told his father exactly what they were doing. May I remind you in this instance, Joseph was not a talebearer, he was not a gossiper, he was not a troublemaker, he was not a sower of discord among the brethren. What Joseph was doing was bringing the problem to the one who could fix the problem.

He brought the problem to the one who had the solution and could do something about it. So very obviously, oftentimes, hatred and envy will arise when you're wicked and you try to get someone else to go along with you and they won't do it. And then you call him "Mr. Goody-two-shoes" and you begin to make fun of him. And the next thing you know, there's pure despisement of him. Thirdly, I want to point out that hatred and envy are personal sins that affect behavior and lead to tragedy and disaster. I want you to look at verse 4. Watch this verse carefully. "And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him." Now their inability to speak peaceably to Joseph was not a physical inability, but a moral one. They still had the ability with their tongues to frame the words, to speak peacefully and civilly. But their moral inability—that is, they hated him—so they could not do so.

Sin affects every area of our lives. You stop and ask yourself this question: How can one brother murder another brother? Or how can one sister murder another sister? And we have often read and heard of one child murdering an entire family. How in the world can that happen? You always find that those individuals who do something like that are filled with hatred and envy. They are selfish, they are self-willed, they are wicked. I have heard, I have read of teenagers murdering their parents over video games. I have read of individuals murdering their brothers over fifty cents.

Sometimes even much less than that. I remember when I was in college, I worked at the hospital and sometimes I was on the back desk by the emergency room. And I never will forget, I saw a man come in. His throat was cut from ear to ear. He had a towel catching the blood as he walked into the emergency room. Evidently, thankfully it did not hit the jugular vein. He was holding that bleeding and as he walked by my desk, I heard him say, "My son did this to me."

He said, "I don't—didn't give him any reason to it. I guess when I get over this, I'm going to have to go home and kill him." I'm just simply pointing out the fact, folks, when anyone is filled with hatred and envy, and when they cannot discuss their own problems or speak civilly or peacefully to someone, it's not going to be long before disaster strikes. So we dishonor our parents then by allowing hatred and envy among the siblings. When brothers and sisters cannot get along and they're envious and hateful toward each other, it's wicked and it's dishonoring to the parents.

Dishonoring Parents by Denigrating a Sibling's Calling

Trying to destroy a sibling's God-given vocation or calling is dishonorable. Joseph's brothers envied his dreams rather than encouraging him.

Secondly, I want you to note that deliberately trying to denigrate, derail, and destroy the vocation or the calling of the siblings is dishonorable to the parents. Evidently, the providence of God had marked Joseph out for an unusual service. Joseph was not endeavoring to lord it over his brethren by simply sharing with them his dreams. He told them, "Your sheaves bow down to mine. The sun and the moon, the stars bow down to me." Let me ask you a question. If God in His sovereign providence had marked Joseph out for an unusual service, an unusual calling, why was there not encouragement? Why was there suspicion and resentment? Even if Joseph had come to a place of prominence, even if Joseph had come to a place of superiority, may I ask you a question? Would you not rather have your brother to rule over you than a stranger?

I don't know about you, but I would. Because if he's my flesh and blood, if he's my family, very obviously, he's going to be more gentle and more tender toward me than a stranger would. And by the way, you have to understand that in this day and time, in the day and time of Genesis chapter 37, the eldest son was already favored and had the place of prominence and dominance. So why then are they upset with Joseph? Because evidently in his dreams, God was marking him out for an unusual vocation. Now, in order to demonstrate that Joseph was not arrogant, he was not proud, he was not boastful, he was not high-handed, I want you to consider his attitude. Look in verse 13. "And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem?

Come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I." Now, I do not know how long the journey or how uncomfortable the weather or how difficult the terrain was. However, whatever his father desired, Joseph was willing to do. He did not whine. He did not bellyache. He did not complain. He did not try to hide himself. He said, "Here am I. I'm willing to do whatever you want me to do." It's just that simple. His attitude was, "I'm ready to obey. I'm ready to do whatever you ask, and I will do it to the best of my ability." Now, I want you to note something else.

He said in verse 13, "Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said, Here am I." Skip down to verse 17. After he gets to Shechem, his brethren are not there. And so he finds the man, and he asks where his brethren are. "And the man said, They are departed hence; for I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan. And Joseph went after his brethren, and found them in Dothan."

So here then is another complication. Here is more trouble, here is more effort, here is more work, and yet I want you to note that Joseph is intent on obeying his father. His father had sent him to check on his brethren and to check on his flocks, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Joseph's attitude was not only one of obedience, but Joseph's attitude was one: I will finish the job that my father has given me. He could have, after he had gotten to Shechem and they were not there, he could have turned around and gone back home and said, "Well, Dad, I'm sorry, they weren't there. I tried, but I couldn't find them. And they had left and gone somewhere." He could have done that, but he did not do that. He refused to give up. He refused to give in. He had been given a task and he was going to see it through.

Let me point out the fact, here's where most Christians and most children fail. We give up too easily. We do not finish the job. We do not finish the task that has been assigned to us. We have to learn a simple lesson. It is easier to do something right the first time, even if it requires more time, than it is to go back four or five times and redo it. Joseph said, "I'm going to do it. I'll do exactly what my father wants. It's more work. It's more effort. But that's fine. That's what he wants. That's exactly what I'm going to do." So I want you to note here is his attitude. Joseph's actions, his attitude, and his language did not indicate at all that he was seeking dominion for dominion's sake. He was simply honest and he was straightforward.

He merely told the dreams that God had given him. He relayed them. He shared them. But I want you to note, his brothers were not only willing to reject and destroy the dreams, they were also ready to reject and destroy Joseph as well. The interesting thing is, there was no encouragement from any of the family. The only thing that we read is this, verse 11: "And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying."

The Destructive Nature of Envy

Envy does not seek to possess what another has but to destroy it. It leads to family destruction and is a root cause of many sins.

Now the word "envy" and the word "jealous" always go together. Let me give you some scriptures. Proverbs 14, in verse 30, the Bible says this: "A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 14:30

" A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 27, verse 4, teaches us that "

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?" Wrath is cruel. Anger is outrageous, but notice this question: who is able to stand before envy? It was envy that delivered Joseph to the pit. It was envy that sold Joseph into slavery. It was envy that delivered Christ up to Pilate. It was envy that led the Jews to persecute the apostles. And Titus 3, in verse 3, tells us that it is envy that motivates us to be hateful and to hate one another. Here's the problem with envy. Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.

That way, neither the one who possesses it nor the one who is envious or anyone else can have it. They just simply want it destroyed. That's why a lot of times men kill their wives. Wives kill their husbands. Boyfriend kills girlfriend, girlfriend kills boyfriend. Why? Because they're envious and their attitude is this: "If I can't have her, no one will." That's envy. That's why God asks, "Who can stand before envy?" Mark this down, children, no matter their age—I don't care if you're sixty, I don't care if you're forty, I don't care if you're twenty, I don't care if you're ten—no matter their age, no matter their profession, when they're filled with envy and jealousy, it is dishonoring to their parents and it destroys not only the lives of the siblings, but it also destroys the life of the one who's filled with envy and jealousy as well.

And I will point out, it will destroy the entire family. You've got to understand that one sin always leads to another sin. And when it does, then sins begin to flow together. So, how do we not treat our parents? We do not treat them with hatred. We do not treat them with hatred among the siblings. We do not treat them when we're trying to deny or denigrate or destroy some vocation or some calling that God has upon them. We ought to be thankful that God places a call upon our brothers. We ought to be thankful that God would elevate one of them and use them for His honor and His glory. But here's the main point I want to make today. We dishonor our parents through deliberate deception. I want you to look beginning there at verse 20.

Dishonoring Parents Through Deliberate Deception

The brothers' deception of Jacob about Joseph's death is a prime example of how lying to parents curses them. Their plan was premeditated and caused prolonged suffering.

The brothers saw Joseph coming and they said, "Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams." Deception is a lie. Yet deception is more than a lie. It is a distortion of reality and it is a deliberate attempt to make our parents think and believe something totally opposite than reality or that which is really the state of things. Joseph's brethren stole his coat, ripped it into shreds and dipped it in the blood. They knew exactly what their father would think. They knew that their father would think and perceive that Joseph was killed by a wild animal. Now I want you to look at how cold, how premeditated their plan of deception was in verse 20: "Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit..." Lord, no one will ever find him. "...and we will say"—this is our deception—"we will say, Some evil

beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams." Now to show you their plans, skip on down to verse 23: "And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him; and they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it." So they actually put their plan into working. They're going to work this plan out. Skip down, if you would, to verses 31 and 32: "And they took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood; and they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son's coat or no. And he knew it, and said, It is my son's coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces." I want you to know their deception worked exactly as they had planned.

I want to show you some assumptions that Jacob made. Jacob assumed that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild animal. Jacob assumed that he had loving, obedient children. Jacob assumed that his sons would never hurt their brother. Jacob assumed that the death and disappearance of Joseph could not possibly have been at the hands of his sons. Jacob could not and would not ever entertain such a thought. We might possibly understand the envy and jealousy of the brothers, and we might possibly understand how they could hate Joseph because of their perception of his dreams and because of his promotion to administrator of the estate by their father. But the question remains, how could they hate their father so to perpetrate such a deception upon him? By the way, I want you to note Jacob's response and the evidence that convinced him that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild beast. Look in verse 34.

"And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him." Now I want you to know, Jacob put on sackcloth and ashes. He mourned, the scripture says, many days for his son. When all of his sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, he refused to be comforted and he said, "I'll go down to the grave mourning for my son." Thus the father wept for him.

Now the question must be asked, how could those who knew the truth bear to see their father mourn and suffer and agonize over a lost and dead child when they knew the child was not dead? How could they put their father through such agony? How could they bear to watch their father from day to day as he sorrowed over his son? It is absolutely beyond my comprehension to see how any child or children could deliberately perpetrate such a hoax and deception upon their father and mother and then watch them agonize day after day. Incidentally, in verse 34 Jacob said that he would mourn for his son many days. And Jacob also said in verse 35, "I'll go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him." So Jacob's mourning was neither light nor temporary. And these sons had to watch their father suffer and agonize over a son whom he genuinely believed was dead, but they knew who was alive.

Now I want you to listen carefully. I want you to watch. Go back to Genesis 37 and verse 2. "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being" how old? "Seventeen years old." Okay.

Now turn in your Bibles to Genesis 41 and look at verse 46. Genesis 41, verse 46:

Scripture Reading — Genesis 41:46

"And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt."

Hmm. Thirteen years had passed. Well, now wait a minute. You remember how God got Jacob and his sons down into Egypt. You remember the dream that he gave to Pharaoh? There were going to be seven years of plenty, and then seven years of famine. During the seven years of plenty, Joseph was laying up. Everybody had plenty. Then came the seven years of famine. So you have to add to these thirteen years another seven for the seven years of fullness—that's twenty years—and another two years when it took them to run out of food to get down into Egypt. And if you would look in Genesis 45 and verse 6, you will read this. Genesis 45, verse 6, Joseph is speaking to his brothers and he said, "For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest."

So, let's put this together. Thirteen and seven and two, which means this: for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father. And for twenty-two years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead. Now folks, I'll be honest with you. It is exceedingly difficult for me to believe that in twenty-two years, there was no repentance, there was no remorse, there was no change of heart. How could you keep such a secret from your father for twenty-two years? How could you watch him agonize and suffer for twenty-two years? And by the way, he did so. If you don't believe that, look back in Genesis 44. Go back to Genesis 44. Because don't you remember, when Benjamin finally came down into Egypt, then Joseph was going to keep Benjamin, his younger brother, to ensure that these brothers were not spies. Of course, Joseph knew who they were. But look in Genesis chapter 44, beginning there with verse 32.

Deception as Cursing Parents

Using Matthew 15 and Mark 7, the sermon explains that deception and withholding care from parents are forms of cursing them, equivalent to treating them as worthless.

And I will go further. Deception involves cursing your parents. Let me say that again. Deception involves cursing your parents. And before I explain this, may I point out the fact that you may curse your parents and never use a slang word and never use a curse word. I want you to turn in your Bibles very quickly to the book of Exodus chapter 21. I want to show you several verses. Exodus 21 and let's begin reading there with verse 17. Exodus 21, verse 17. Look what God says. Exodus 21, verse 17. God says, "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." Look in the book of Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20, verse 9.

What does God say? "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him." Now turn right over to the book of Proverbs chapter 20 and look at verse 20. Proverbs 20 and verse 20. Proverbs 20, verse 20.

Look what God says. Proverbs 20, verse 20:

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 20:20

"Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness."

That is, he'll die. Then if you look in Proverbs 30 and verse 11. Proverbs 30 and verse 11. And God says, "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." There is a generation that curses their father and doth not bless their mother. There is another passage that says, "He that curseth his father and mother, the ravens shall pick out his eyes." He'll die.

Now, I want you to understand something. The Hebrew word for "curse" means to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor, to treat as despicable, to treat as of little account or worth, or to treat as valueless or worthless. By the way, deception does all of these. Now I want you to turn in your Bibles to Matthew 15 and Mark 7 because our Lord makes an application of all of these verses. Look in Matthew chapter 15 and then go ahead and turn to Mark 7. Matthew 15 and Mark 7. I want you to look at what our Lord says. Matthew 15, beginning there with verse 1. "Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying..."

Oh, that was in Matthew 15, I'm sorry.

Scripture Reading — Matthew 15:1-6

"Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."

Now, hold Matthew 15, but look in Mark chapter 7, if you would please, at verse 10.

It's exactly the same thing. I'm just reading verse 10 right now. Because our Lord says, "For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: but ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye." Now notice what our Lord is talking about. In Matthew 15 and in Mark 7, he uses the word "curse." Here, the Greek word is kakalogeo, which means to curse, to speak evil of, to abuse and revile. Now if you look in Matthew 15 and verse 4, our Lord says, "For God commanded..." Isn't that interesting? Now if you look in Mark 7 and verse 10, "For Moses said..." Well, who was it that said it, God or Moses? Obviously both of them. It was God who spoke through Moses. And Moses penned the word of God. And so when you go back to Matthew 15 in verse 4, "For God commanded, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death." How do you curse your father and your mother? You curse them, of course, by abusing them, speaking evil against them, dishonoring them. That is true.

But we're talking about deception. Now I want you to look in Matthew 15, verse 5. "But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."

Now the phrase "it is a gift" is the word "Corban" in Mark 7. The word "Corban" is just simply a Hebrew word denoting a gift. Here in Matthew 15 the word "gift" and the word "Corban" in Mark chapter 7 refers to something that is dedicated to God or dedicated to the service of God, and since it is dedicated to God or to the service of God, it cannot be appropriated for any other use. Now I want you to watch something. The sin of cursing one's parents is here opposed to the duty of honoring one's parents. It is true that those who speak ill of their parents, abuse them, mock them, wish them ill, taunt them, speak to them disrespectfully, violate the fifth commandment. But it is not sufficient that our language be respectful. Do you not remember in Matthew 21 and verse 30 where our Lord is talking about the parable of the two sons?

And he said to the one son, "Go work today in my vineyard." And he said, "I go, sir," and went not. He was very respectful. But he was very disobedient. Now my question was this: was that son who was respectful, was he not cursing his parents? Well, of course, where he was deceiving them. He told his father he was going to work in the vineyard, but he didn't go. It was a deliberate deception. It was a lie.

Now our Lord teaches us that the fifth commandment—listen carefully—obliges children to relieve their aged and elderly parents in their necessities. That is the concept used in Matthew 15 and Mark 7 when he talks about honoring your father and your mother. Now here's what the Pharisees had done. The Pharisees said it is more important for a man to dedicate his property and his money to God than it would be to relieve the needs of his elderly parents. It did not matter how poor his parents were, did not matter how elderly they were, did not matter how hungry they were, did not matter how desperately in need of medical attention they were. If a son just simply said "Corban" over his property, over his money, that meant then that money was dedicated to God and that's what our Lord said, "Thus ye shall be free." In other words, the Pharisees said you're free. What are they free from? Free from helping their parents. Free from alleviating the needs of their parents. By the way, you remember I talked about the eldest son? And you remember the eldest son always got a double portion of the inheritance? Do you know why? Because it was the eldest son's responsibility, his duty, and his privilege to take care of his parents when they were old and they could not take care of themselves.

He got a double portion just for that. And so the Pharisees are saying here, all you've got to do is say "Corban," it's a gift to God. And who would expect you to take that which is dedicated to God and use it for such a mundane thing as feeding your elderly parents? Or buying medicine for them? I mean, come on. This is God's money. You can't use God's money. What did our Lord say? God said you're cursing your parents. When God said, "Honour thy father and thy mother."

Applications: Honoring Parents Now

Applications include the duty to love and honor imperfect parents, the need to repent and care for parents while they are alive, and the principle of reaping what we sow in how our children will treat us.

Their hatred, their envy and their deception was a violation of God's law. How not to treat your parents? Let me make some applications. The first one is this. God's law, of course, demands that we love and honor our parents. Now, I realize our parents are not perfect. Our parents are sinful. Some of us have unsaved parents. I understand that. There are no perfect parents. But the truth of the matter is this. They're still our parents. And God still requires us to honor them and obey them while we can.

What did our Lord say in John 5, in verse 23? Let me quote it. "That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him." So God then has sovereignly provided our parents. I know that many of us have parents that have gone on. I understand that. But God has sovereignly provided our parents. And when we refuse our parents, we're also refusing Him who gave us our parents. Did you know, actually, this is the way it should be. The parents should always be a prophet, priest, and king to their children. They should be a prophet to declare unto them the word of God, a priest to intercede for them, and a king to rule over them biblically. Do our parents fail in those areas? Many times. But they're still our parents. And I realize this, that God still calls upon us to honor them and not curse them.

The second application is this. If you will not love and honor and obey your parents now, if you will not do for them now while you're young, what makes you think you're going to take care of them when they're old? I mean, if you're in the habit of cursing your parents, what makes you think all of a sudden you're going to change and start honoring them? Do you realize that now is the time to love them? Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to communicate with them. Now is the time to work out differences. Now is the time to forgive. Now is the time because one of these days our parents will not be around. It's time now. God says honor your father and your mother. He that curseth father and mother, let him die the death. Here's the last one.

You have to remember, God's law teaches that we reap what we sow. Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents. And if I want my children to love me and honor me and help me, I need to love and honor and help my parents because you do reap exactly what you sow. Just stop and think. There is a proper way to treat your parents biblically. And there is a way not to treat your parents.

Study Guide

Major Themes

Lifelong Duty to Honor Parents

Summary: The fifth commandment requires honor for parents throughout life, even when obedience in certain areas may change with adulthood.

Evidence: Pastor Weaver states, 'there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.'

Hatred and Envy Among Siblings Dishonors Parents

Summary: When siblings harbor hatred and envy toward each other, it is a direct dishonor to their parents and leads to family tragedy.

Evidence: He says, 'we dishonor our parents then by allowing hatred and envy among the siblings.'

Deception as a Form of Cursing Parents

Summary: Deliberate deception of parents is not merely lying but a way of cursing them, treating them as worthless and causing deep suffering.

Evidence: He explains, 'Deception involves cursing your parents... to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor.'

The Destructive Power of Envy

Summary: Envy is a rottenness to the bones that seeks to destroy what others have, leading to hatred and even murder.

Evidence: He quotes Proverbs 14:30 and says, 'Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.'

Responsibility to Care for Aging Parents

Summary: Adult children have a biblical duty to requite their parents by providing for them in old age, and failure to do so is a denial of the faith.

Evidence: He cites 1 Timothy 5:4,8 and says, 'if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel.'

Reaping What We Sow in Family Relationships

Summary: The way we treat our parents will be reflected in how our own children treat us, emphasizing the need for repentance and honor now.

Evidence: He states, 'Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents.'

Key Arguments

Honor is a lifelong command, unlike obedience which may change with adulthood.

Summary: While adult children may not be under the same obligation to obey as when they lived at home, the command to honor parents never ends.

Evidence: He says, 'you cannot quibble over "honour thy father and thy mother." Because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.'

Hatred and envy among siblings are rooted in perceived favoritism and refusal to compromise with sin.

Summary: Joseph's brothers hated him because of Jacob's love and Joseph's integrity, which led them to dishonor their father.

Evidence: He explains, 'hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality, as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority.'

Envy seeks destruction, not possession.

Summary: Envy is uniquely destructive because it aims to destroy what another has rather than to obtain it for oneself.

Evidence: He says, 'Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.'

Deception of parents is a form of cursing them.

Summary: Using biblical definitions, deception treats parents as worthless and is equivalent to cursing, which God condemns severely.

Evidence: He states, 'Deception involves cursing your parents... to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor.'

Withholding care from parents is a violation of the fifth commandment.

Summary: Jesus taught that dedicating resources to God while neglecting parents' needs is cursing them, and Paul says such neglect makes one worse than an infidel.

Evidence: He references Matthew 15:5 and 1 Timothy 5:8, saying, 'if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel.'

Jacob's sons cursed their father for twenty-two years through deception.

Summary: By hiding the truth about Joseph, they withheld comfort and caused prolonged suffering, which was a continuous act of cursing.

Evidence: He calculates, 'for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father... They cursed him for twenty-two years.'

Scripture References

Exodus 20:12

Context: Read as the fifth commandment, the foundation for honoring parents.

Genesis 37:1-11

Context: The main text, describing Joseph's relationship with his brothers and father, including the coat and dreams.

Ephesians 6:1-2

Context: Cited to show God's requirement for children to obey and honor parents.

Romans 1:31

Context: Mentioned as describing those without natural affection.

2 Timothy 3:3

Context: Mentioned alongside Romans 1:31 regarding lack of natural affection.

Galatians 5:20

Context: Cited to show that hatred is a work of the flesh.

Proverbs 10:12

Context: Quoted to contrast hatred stirring strife with love covering sins.

1 Chronicles 5:1

Context: Explains why Reuben lost the birthright and Joseph received it.

Proverbs 14:30

Context: Quoted to show envy as rottenness of the bones.

Proverbs 27:4

Context: Quoted to illustrate the overwhelming power of envy.

Titus 3:3

Context: Mentioned as teaching that envy motivates hateful behavior.

Genesis 41:46

Context: Used to calculate Joseph's age and the duration of the deception.

Genesis 45:6

Context: Used to calculate the years of famine and total time of deception.

Genesis 44:30-34

Context: Judah's plea reveals the ongoing sorrow of Jacob over Joseph.

Isaiah 44:20

Context: Quoted to show that a deceived heart turns one aside.

Exodus 21:17

Context: Cited as the law prescribing death for cursing parents.

Leviticus 20:9

Context: Reinforces the death penalty for cursing parents.

Proverbs 20:20

Context: Warns that the lamp of one who curses parents will be put out.

Proverbs 30:11

Context: Describes a generation that curses father and does not bless mother.

Matthew 15:1-6

Context: Jesus condemns the Pharisees for using tradition to avoid honoring parents, equating it to cursing.

Historical References

Pharisees' tradition of Corban

Context: The practice of dedicating property to God to avoid using it to support parents, condemned by Jesus.

Custom of the eldest son receiving a double portion

Context: Explained as the means by which the eldest son was expected to care for aging parents.

Important Quotes

there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.

Significance: Emphasizes the lifelong nature of the fifth commandment, a central thesis of the sermon.

Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.

Significance: Defines the destructive essence of envy, which motivated the brothers' actions.

Deception involves cursing your parents.

Significance: Key argument linking deception to the biblical concept of cursing, with severe consequences.

for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father. And for twenty-two years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead.

Significance: Highlights the prolonged suffering caused by the brothers' deception.

if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel.

Significance: Stresses the gravity of neglecting family responsibilities, especially toward parents.

Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents.

Significance: Practical application of the sowing and reaping principle in family relationships.

Discussion Questions

In what ways can adult children continue to honor their parents even after leaving home?

Context: Based on the distinction between obedience and honor, and the lifelong nature of the fifth commandment.

How can perceived favoritism among siblings lead to hatred and envy, and how can families guard against this?

Context: Stemming from the discussion of Joseph's coat and the brothers' reaction.

Why is envy described as wanting to destroy rather than possess, and what are modern examples of this?

Context: From the explanation of envy's nature and its consequences.

How does deception of parents equate to cursing them, according to the biblical definitions used in the sermon?

Context: Related to the teaching on the Hebrew and Greek words for curse and Jesus' application in Matthew 15.

What are practical ways adult children can 'requite' their parents, especially as they age?

Context: Based on 1 Timothy 5:4 and the duty to care for parents.

How can the principle of reaping what we sow motivate us to treat our parents better?

Context: From the final application about children treating us as we treat our parents.

Applications

Honor parents regardless of their imperfections

Summary: Even though parents are sinful and imperfect, God commands us to honor them because He sovereignly placed them in our lives.

Evidence: He says, 'Our parents are sinful... But the truth of the matter is this. They're still our parents. And God still requires us to honor them.'

Repent and reconcile with parents now

Summary: Do not delay in loving, forgiving, and communicating with parents, because the opportunity will not last forever.

Evidence: He urges, 'Now is the time to love them? Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to communicate with them... because one of these days our parents will not be around.'

Avoid deception in all forms toward parents

Summary: Any form of lying or misleading parents, even in small matters, is a serious sin that can lead to greater deception and is a form of cursing.

Evidence: He warns, 'If you tell your parents that you're going to one place and then you go to another place, that's deception.'

Provide for aging parents as a biblical duty

Summary: Adult children must take responsibility for the physical and emotional needs of their elderly parents, as this is good and acceptable before God.

Evidence: He cites 1 Timothy 5:4 and says, 'You need to requite them. Pay them back.'

Model honor to teach the next generation

Summary: By honoring our own parents, we set an example for our children and sow seeds for how they will treat us in the future.

Evidence: He states, 'Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents.'

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Clean Transcript

How not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

Genesis 37 and Exodus chapter 20. Our main text, of course, is going to be Genesis 37, but I do want to read Exodus 20 and verse 12, and you will understand why, because Exodus 20 and verse 12 is the fifth commandment. And God says in Exodus 20 and verse 12, "Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Now, if you'll look in Genesis 37, and beginning there with verse 1, and we're not going to read the entire chapter, although we're going to be using the entire chapter. "And Jacob dwelt in the land wherein his father was a stranger, in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob."
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"Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him. And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed."
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"For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf. And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me. And he told it to his father, and to his brethren: and his father rebuked him, and said unto him, What is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down ourselves to thee to the earth? And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying." The message today is entitled "How Not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother." The example I'm going to give you today is an example
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from grown, or from adult children. The pettiness, the wickedness, and the deception that I'm going to be talking about might be understood in some degree if it came from small or little children who did not have the ability to think things through to a logical conclusion or at least did not possess understanding. But it is indeed what I'm going to share with you from what you and I would know as adult children. Do you realize that God requires two things from children? Those two things are obedience and honor. God says in Ephesians 6, verses 1 and 2, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
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that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Now, strictly speaking, we might could say that there is a time when, generally speaking, obedience ceases. And that time would be, of course, when the child has grown, has married, and has left his parents' home, and established a home of his own, and therefore he is now the head of a new home, or the wife is now in submission to her husband. However, I do believe that even a grown child is obligated under God's law to continue to obey his parents as long as he can, and especially if the grown child is living at home under his parents' roof.
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And you've got to also think about this. Even as an adult child, when we return home to visit our parents, they are still our parents. It is their home and we should try to obey them as much as we could to the best of our ability. We certainly would want to do so out of honor and respect for them as much as possible. Now, if you wanted to even quibble over an adult child obeying his parents when he's at home, you might get quibble just a little bit, but you cannot quibble over "honour thy father and thy mother." Because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.
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Now, Jacob's sons in Genesis 37 gives us an excellent example on how not to treat our parents. Let me assure you of one thing: that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant, infallible word of God. It was indeed written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and I believe that I can prove that to you just simply by reading Genesis 37. Because if the Bible was simply the work of man, they would have left out what is recorded in Genesis 37, for it is indeed shameful and embarrassing to men. So the very fact that we have shameful and embarrassing deeds recorded show us that it's far more than the work of man. So the message today is how not to honor, or how not to treat our father and our mother. How not to treat our father and our mother. First of all, let me just point out, we are not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings.
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That is the brothers and the sisters. We're not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings.
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Now, very obviously, Joseph's brethren hated him. And I'm going to point out a little bit later they also hated their father. It is indeed unnatural to hate your family. However, we're told in Romans 1, in verse 31, and in 2 Timothy chapter 3, in verse 3, that there are some who are without natural affection. We're also told in Galatians 5, in verse 20, that hatred is a work of the flesh. Moreover, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 10, in verse 12, that "hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins."
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So let's begin asking a question. How in the world did hatred and envy arise in the sons of Jacob? Well, the answer is going to be, first and foremost, that hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality, as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority.
#10 | 7:04 to 7:27 | cleaned
Now, I want you to notice what I just said. Hatred and envy often arise from a perceived—that is, from a perception or a perceived advantage or partiality. In other words, the advantage does not have to be real. The partiality does not have to be real. But just if individuals perceive that it is real and that it is true. And you know the story in Genesis chapter 37 how that here Joseph was given this coat of many colours, and I'll explain that just momentarily. And then I just read you about the dreams. How Joseph dreamed that they were out in the field and all the sheaves of his brothers bowed down to him. And then of course he dreamed another dream how the sun and the moon and the stars bowed down to him. And they were upset.
#11 | 7:28 to 8:20 | cleaned
And even Jacob said, "Is it true that I, your father, and your mother, and your brethren are all going to bow down to you?" So here were things that would be a perceived advantage that Joseph had, which would stir up what you and I would call hatred and envy. Now, let me deal with this phrase, because the Bible says very plainly, verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old..." Now skip down to verse 3. "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children," and here it is reading, "because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours."
#12 | 8:21 to 9:05 | cleaned
Now that verse could also be read like this: "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and he was the son of his old age."
#13 | 9:07 to 9:16 | cleaned
Now, it is true that elderly parents normally dote over young children. That's true. And if you don't believe that, just watch our grandparents act about their grandkids. But you have to remember this. Joseph was not the youngest child. He had a brother younger than he was, Benjamin. Moreover, may I remind you that Benjamin was born as Rachel died. So if there's going to be special consideration given, it would certainly be given toward Benjamin even more so than Joseph. So how then do we understand this, that Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and/or because he was the son of his old age? The "son of the old age" is a phrase that may be interpreted to refer to a wise son.
#14 | 9:17 to 10:18 | cleaned
Let me explain that this way. That Joseph was a son who possessed wisdom above his years. You could say it like this: He had an old head on young shoulders. Joseph then was a wise and prudent son. And old age is normally associated with wisdom and prudence—not always, but it usually is. And so the phrase then actually would refer to Joseph as one who was born old, or one who was born wise above his years. In other words, one that had a gray head at such a young age.
#15 | 10:20 to 10:57 | cleaned
Now Joseph was indeed a child like this, and good evidence is given just in this chapter as well. Because if you look back at verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report."
#16 | 10:58 to 11:25 | cleaned
Now I'll just tell you right now, I don't know what those boys were doing, but it was certainly wrong. It was certainly wicked. And Joseph brought the report to his father. I'll say something about that a little bit later. Moreover, you've got to remember that in verse 2 it is, Joseph was seventeen years of age when he was sold into slavery. Which means then that he would have been probably eighteen or nineteen in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar's wife made her play for him. And so Joseph then did not allow his teenage hormones to take over. He stood for principle and stood for that which was right. So Joseph then, throughout the scripture, is known for a virtuous and godly life. And this was evidenced at a very early age.
#17 | 11:26 to 12:20 | cleaned
Now, the coat of many colours that was given to him was Jacob's recognition of his character. But it was not only Jacob's recognition of his character, it was a coat that conferred upon Joseph the rights of the firstborn. Now it is true that Joseph was the firstborn of Rachel, but it is not true that Joseph was actually Jacob's firstborn. Jacob's firstborn was Reuben. Reuben should have actually gotten the birthright, but he did not do so.
#18 | 12:21 to 12:57 | cleaned
And let me just quote it for you. 1 Chronicles chapter 5, verse 1: "Now the sons of Reuben the firstborn of Israel, (for he was the firstborn; but, forasmuch as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph the son of Israel: and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright." So Reuben then went into his father's wife, to one of the handmaids, it was given to Jacob, and Jacob said, "No, you will not be the firstborn. You will not have the birthright. You may be the actual firstborn, but your character demonstrates that you're not worthy to have the birthright." And so here Joseph has a godly character and he is replacing Reuben and receiving the inheritance of the firstborn.
#19 | 12:57 to 13:53 | cleaned
Secondly, let me point out that hatred and envy arise oftentimes when one refuses to betray his principles. When he refuses to compromise. So in verse 2, again, Joseph refuses to go along with his brethren. I do not know what they were going to do. Whatever they were doing was obviously wicked. It was going to be detrimental to Jacob. Maybe they were going to defraud Jacob. Maybe they were going to steal some of the sheep. Maybe they were going to sell some of the cattle. I don't know. But whatever it was, Joseph said, "No, that is not right. That is wicked. That is wrong. I will not participate. I will not go along." And not only did he not go along, he came back and told his father exactly what they were doing. May I remind you in this instance, Joseph was not a talebearer, he was not a gossiper, he was not a troublemaker, he was not a sower of discord among the brethren. What Joseph was doing was bringing the problem to the one who could fix the problem.
#20 | 13:54 to 15:01 | cleaned
He brought the problem to the one who had the solution and could do something about it. So very obviously, oftentimes, hatred and envy will arise when you're wicked and you try to get someone else to go along with you and they won't do it. And then you call him "Mr. Goody-two-shoes" and you begin to make fun of him. And the next thing you know, there's pure despisement of him.
#21 | 15:02 to 15:30 | cleaned
Thirdly, I want to point out that hatred and envy are personal sins that affect behavior and lead to tragedy and disaster. I want you to look at verse 4. Watch this verse carefully. "And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him." Now their inability to speak peaceably to Joseph was not a physical inability, but a moral one. They still had the ability with their tongues to frame the words, to speak peacefully and civilly. But their moral inability—that is, they hated him—so they could not do so.
#22 | 15:31 to 16:13 | cleaned
Sin affects every area of our lives. You stop and ask yourself this question: How can one brother murder another brother? Or how can one sister murder another sister? And we have often read and heard of one child murdering an entire family. How in the world can that happen? You always find that those individuals who do something like that are filled with hatred and envy. They are selfish, they are self-willed, they are wicked. I have heard, I have read of teenagers murdering their parents over video games. I have read of individuals murdering their brothers over fifty cents.
#23 | 16:14 to 17:05 | cleaned
Sometimes even much less than that. I remember when I was in college, I worked at the hospital and sometimes I was on the back desk by the emergency room. And I never will forget, I saw a man come in. His throat was cut from ear to ear. He had a towel catching the blood as he walked into the emergency room. Evidently, thankfully it did not hit the jugular vein. He was holding that bleeding and as he walked by my desk, I heard him say, "My son did this to me."
#24 | 17:07 to 17:46 | cleaned
He said, "I don't—didn't give him any reason to it. I guess when I get over this, I'm going to have to go home and kill him." I'm just simply pointing out the fact, folks, when anyone is filled with hatred and envy, and when they cannot discuss their own problems or speak civilly or peacefully to someone, it's not going to be long before disaster strikes. So we dishonor our parents then by allowing hatred and envy among the siblings. When brothers and sisters cannot get along and they're envious and hateful toward each other, it's wicked and it's dishonoring to the parents.
#25 | 17:48 to 18:32 | cleaned
Secondly, I want you to note that deliberately trying to denigrate, derail, and destroy the vocation or the calling of the siblings is dishonorable to the parents. Evidently, the providence of God had marked Joseph out for an unusual service. Joseph was not endeavoring to lord it over his brethren by simply sharing with them his dreams. He told them, "Your sheaves bow down to mine. The sun and the moon, the stars bow down to me."
#26 | 18:32 to 19:19 | cleaned
Let me ask you a question. If God in His sovereign providence had marked Joseph out for an unusual service, an unusual calling, why was there not encouragement? Why was there suspicion and resentment? Even if Joseph had come to a place of prominence, even if Joseph had come to a place of superiority, may I ask you a question? Would you not rather have your brother to rule over you than a stranger?
#27 | 19:20 to 19:48 | cleaned
I don't know about you, but I would. Because if he's my flesh and blood, if he's my family, very obviously, he's going to be more gentle and more tender toward me than a stranger would. And by the way, you have to understand that in this day and time, in the day and time of Genesis chapter 37, the eldest son was already favored and had the place of prominence and dominance.
#28 | 19:48 to 20:19 | cleaned
So why then are they upset with Joseph? Because evidently in his dreams, God was marking him out for an unusual vocation. Now, in order to demonstrate that Joseph was not arrogant, he was not proud, he was not boastful, he was not high-handed, I want you to consider his attitude. Look in verse 13. "And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem?
#29 | 20:22 to 20:54 | cleaned
Come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I."
#30 | 20:54 to 20:59 | cleaned
Now, I do not know how long the journey or how uncomfortable the weather or how difficult the terrain was. However, whatever his father desired, Joseph was willing to do. He did not whine. He did not bellyache. He did not complain. He did not try to hide himself. He said, "Here am I. I'm willing to do whatever you want me to do." It's just that simple. His attitude was, "I'm ready to obey. I'm ready to do whatever you ask, and I will do it to the best of my ability." Now, I want you to note something else.
#31 | 21:01 to 21:35 | cleaned
He said in verse 13, "Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said, Here am I." Skip down to verse 17. After he gets to Shechem, his brethren are not there. And so he finds the man, and he asks where his brethren are. "And the man said, They are departed hence; for I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan. And Joseph went after his brethren, and found them in Dothan."
#32 | 21:36 to 22:03 | cleaned
So here then is another complication. Here is more trouble, here is more effort, here is more work, and yet I want you to note that Joseph is intent on obeying his father. His father had sent him to check on his brethren and to check on his flocks, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Joseph's attitude was not only one of obedience, but Joseph's attitude was one: I will finish the job that my father has given me.
#33 | 22:03 to 22:33 | cleaned
He could have, after he had gotten to Shechem and they were not there, he could have turned around and gone back home and said, "Well, Dad, I'm sorry, they weren't there. I tried, but I couldn't find them. And they had left and gone somewhere." He could have done that, but he did not do that. He refused to give up. He refused to give in. He had been given a task and he was going to see it through.
#34 | 22:34 to 22:59 | cleaned
Let me point out the fact, here's where most Christians and most children fail. We give up too easily. We do not finish the job. We do not finish the task that has been assigned to us. We have to learn a simple lesson. It is easier to do something right the first time, even if it requires more time, than it is to go back four or five times and redo it.
#35 | 22:59 to 23:27 | cleaned
Joseph said, "I'm going to do it. I'll do exactly what my father wants. It's more work. It's more effort. But that's fine. That's what he wants. That's exactly what I'm going to do." So I want you to note here is his attitude. Joseph's actions, his attitude, and his language did not indicate at all that he was seeking dominion for dominion's sake. He was simply honest and he was straightforward.
#36 | 23:31 to 23:55 | cleaned
He merely told the dreams that God had given him. He relayed them. He shared them. But I want you to note, his brothers were not only willing to reject and destroy the dreams, they were also ready to reject and destroy Joseph as well. The interesting thing is, there was no encouragement from any of the family. The only thing that we read is this, verse 11: "And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying."
#37 | 23:55 to 24:33 | cleaned
The word "observed" means to guard, to watch, to keep, or to mark. So Jacob was not pushing, Jacob was not encouraging, Jacob was just simply waiting and watching and observing to see how things would work out. Joseph's brethren, however, were not willing to wait. They were not willing to observe. They were not willing to watch. They wanted Joseph and they wanted his dreams destroyed. That's why in verse 11 the Bible said his brothers envied him.
#38 | 24:34 to 25:08 | cleaned
Now the word "envy" and the word "jealous" always go together. Let me give you some scriptures. Proverbs 14, in verse 30, the Bible says this: "A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones." A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 27, verse 4, teaches us that "Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?" Wrath is cruel. Anger is outrageous, but notice this question: who is able to stand before envy? It was envy that delivered Joseph to the pit. It was envy that sold Joseph into slavery. It was envy that delivered Christ up to Pilate. It was envy that led the Jews to persecute the apostles. And Titus 3, in verse 3, tells us that it is envy that motivates us to be hateful and to hate one another. Here's the problem with envy. Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.
#39 | 25:09 to 26:42 | cleaned
That way, neither the one who possesses it nor the one who is envious or anyone else can have it. They just simply want it destroyed. That's why a lot of times men kill their wives. Wives kill their husbands. Boyfriend kills girlfriend, girlfriend kills boyfriend. Why? Because they're envious and their attitude is this: "If I can't have her, no one will." That's envy. That's why God asks, "Who can stand before envy?" Mark this down, children, no matter their age—I don't care if you're sixty, I don't care if you're forty, I don't care if you're twenty, I don't care if you're ten—no matter their age, no matter their profession, when they're filled with envy and jealousy, it is dishonoring to their parents and it destroys not only the lives of the siblings, but it also destroys the life of the one who's filled with envy and jealousy as well.
#40 | 26:43 to 27:44 | cleaned
And I will point out, it will destroy the entire family. You've got to understand that one sin always leads to another sin. And when it does, then sins begin to flow together. So, how do we not treat our parents? We do not treat them with hatred. We do not treat them with hatred among the siblings. We do not treat them when we're trying to deny or denigrate or destroy some vocation or some calling that God has upon them. We ought to be thankful that God places a call upon our brothers. We ought to be thankful that God would elevate one of them and use them for His honor and His glory. But here's the main point I want to make today. We dishonor our parents through deliberate deception. I want you to look beginning there at verse 20.
#41 | 27:45 to 28:49 | cleaned
The brothers saw Joseph coming and they said, "Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams." Deception is a lie. Yet deception is more than a lie. It is a distortion of reality and it is a deliberate attempt to make our parents think and believe something totally opposite than reality or that which is really the state of things. Joseph's brethren stole his coat, ripped it into shreds and dipped it in the blood. They knew exactly what their father would think. They knew that their father would think and perceive that Joseph was killed by a wild animal. Now I want you to look at how cold, how premeditated their plan of deception was in verse 20: "Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit..." Lord, no one will ever find him. "...and we will say"—this is our deception—"we will say, Some evil
#42 | 28:52 to 30:09 | cleaned
beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams." Now to show you their plans, skip on down to verse 23: "And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him; and they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it." So they actually put their plan into working. They're going to work this plan out. Skip down, if you would, to verses 31 and 32: "And they took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood; and they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son's coat or no. And he knew it, and said, It is my son's coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces." I want you to know their deception worked exactly as they had planned.
#43 | 30:09 to 31:21 | cleaned
I want to show you some assumptions that Jacob made. Jacob assumed that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild animal. Jacob assumed that he had loving, obedient children. Jacob assumed that his sons would never hurt their brother. Jacob assumed that the death and disappearance of Joseph could not possibly have been at the hands of his sons. Jacob could not and would not ever entertain such a thought. We might possibly understand the envy and jealousy of the brothers, and we might possibly understand how they could hate Joseph because of their perception of his dreams and because of his promotion to administrator of the estate by their father. But the question remains, how could they hate their father so to perpetrate such a deception upon him? By the way, I want you to note Jacob's response and the evidence that convinced him that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild beast. Look in verse 34.
#44 | 31:24 to 32:52 | cleaned
"And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him." Now I want you to know, Jacob put on sackcloth and ashes. He mourned, the scripture says, many days for his son. When all of his sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, he refused to be comforted and he said, "I'll go down to the grave mourning for my son." Thus the father wept for him.
#45 | 32:52 to 33:36 | cleaned
Now the question must be asked, how could those who knew the truth bear to see their father mourn and suffer and agonize over a lost and dead child when they knew the child was not dead? How could they put their father through such agony? How could they bear to watch their father from day to day as he sorrowed over his son? It is absolutely beyond my comprehension to see how any child or children could deliberately perpetrate such a hoax and deception upon their father and mother and then watch them agonize day after day. Incidentally, in verse 34 Jacob said that he would mourn for his son many days. And Jacob also said in verse 35, "I'll go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him." So Jacob's mourning was neither light nor temporary. And these sons had to watch their father suffer and agonize over a son whom he genuinely believed was dead, but they knew who was alive.
#46 | 33:37 to 34:59 | cleaned
Now I want you to listen carefully. I want you to watch. Go back to Genesis 37 and verse 2. "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being" how old? "Seventeen years old." Okay.
#47 | 35:01 to 35:22 | cleaned
Now turn in your Bibles to Genesis 41 and look at verse 46. Genesis 41, verse 46: "And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt." Hmm. Thirteen years had passed. Well, now wait a minute. You remember how God got Jacob and his sons down into Egypt. You remember the dream that he gave to Pharaoh? There were going to be seven years of plenty, and then seven years of famine. During the seven years of plenty, Joseph was laying up. Everybody had plenty. Then came the seven years of famine. So you have to add to these thirteen years another seven for the seven years of fullness—that's twenty years—and another two years when it took them to run out of food to get down into Egypt. And if you would look in Genesis 45 and verse 6, you will read this. Genesis 45, verse 6, Joseph is speaking to his brothers and he said, "For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest."
#48 | 35:24 to 37:00 | cleaned
So, let's put this together. Thirteen and seven and two, which means this: for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father. And for twenty-two years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead.
#49 | 37:00 to 37:29 | cleaned
Now folks, I'll be honest with you. It is exceedingly difficult for me to believe that in twenty-two years, there was no repentance, there was no remorse, there was no change of heart. How could you keep such a secret from your father for twenty-two years? How could you watch him agonize and suffer for twenty-two years? And by the way, he did so. If you don't believe that, look back in Genesis 44. Go back to Genesis 44. Because don't you remember, when Benjamin finally came down into Egypt, then Joseph was going to keep Benjamin, his younger brother, to ensure that these brothers were not spies. Of course, Joseph knew who they were. But look in Genesis chapter 44, beginning there with verse 32.
#50 | 37:29 to 38:31 | cleaned
And here's what Judah said. Look carefully now. Genesis 44, verse 32. He said—in fact, let's go back to verse 31. In fact, let's read verse 30. He says, "Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life; it shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave. For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then I shall bear the blame to my father for ever. Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren. For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father."
#51 | 38:31 to 39:25 | cleaned
How did he know how his father would react? Because he'd already seen how he reacted when he thought Joseph was dead. And for twenty-two years they had seen the evil.
#52 | 39:26 to 39:42 | cleaned
Now let me point something out. The boys may have begun with minor deceptions concerning the flocks. Back in Genesis 37, in verse 2, I told you earlier, I do not know what they were planning on doing, but whatever it was, was wicked and evil. They may have begun with minor deceptions, but minor deceptions paved the way for major deceptions. And minor sins paved the way for major sins.
#53 | 39:44 to 40:23 | cleaned
Disobediences always run into open rebellion. It is wicked and wrong to deceive your parents. And I will say this for the teenagers. I'll say this for the young people. If you tell your parents that you're going to one place and then you go to another place, that's deception. If you tell your parents that you're going to be with one set of friends and then you hightail it to some place where you're not supposed to be and hang out with friends that you know that your parents would not approve of and they do not want you to associate with, that is deception. When you tell them that you're going to do something and do it right and you do not perform it, that is deception.
#54 | 40:26 to 41:18 | cleaned
And the Bible says in Isaiah 44 and verse 20, "A deceived heart hath turned him aside." The reason we're deceived is because we're deceivers. And deception is wicked and wrong. How in the world can children deceive their parents as did Jacob's sons? You have to ask what was the root of their deception. We do not perceive the depth of the sin of deception. Deception involves dishonor, disrespect, even denial.
#55 | 41:18 to 41:59 | cleaned
And I will go further. Deception involves cursing your parents. Let me say that again. Deception involves cursing your parents. And before I explain this, may I point out the fact that you may curse your parents and never use a slang word and never use a curse word. I want you to turn in your Bibles very quickly to the book of Exodus chapter 21. I want to show you several verses. Exodus 21 and let's begin reading there with verse 17. Exodus 21, verse 17. Look what God says. Exodus 21, verse 17. God says, "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." Look in the book of Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20, verse 9.
#56 | 42:00 to 43:12 | cleaned
What does God say? "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him."
#57 | 43:21 to 43:33 | cleaned
Now turn right over to the book of Proverbs chapter 20 and look at verse 20. Proverbs 20 and verse 20. Proverbs 20, verse 20.
#58 | 43:35 to 43:43 | cleaned
Look what God says. Proverbs 20, verse 20: "Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness." That is, he'll die. Then if you look in Proverbs 30 and verse 11. Proverbs 30 and verse 11. And God says, "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." There is a generation that curses their father and doth not bless their mother. There is another passage that says, "He that curseth his father and mother, the ravens shall pick out his eyes." He'll die.
#59 | 43:53 to 44:45 | cleaned
Now, I want you to understand something. The Hebrew word for "curse" means to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor, to treat as despicable, to treat as of little account or worth, or to treat as valueless or worthless. By the way, deception does all of these.
#60 | 44:46 to 45:19 | cleaned
Now I want you to turn in your Bibles to Matthew 15 and Mark 7 because our Lord makes an application of all of these verses. Look in Matthew chapter 15 and then go ahead and turn to Mark 7. Matthew 15 and Mark 7. I want you to look at what our Lord says. Matthew 15, beginning there with verse 1. "Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying..."
#61 | 45:22 to 45:56 | cleaned
Oh, that was in Matthew 15, I'm sorry. "Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition." Now, hold Matthew 15, but look in Mark chapter 7, if you would please, at verse 10.
#62 | 45:56 to 46:42 | cleaned
It's exactly the same thing. I'm just reading verse 10 right now. Because our Lord says, "For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: but ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye." Now notice what our Lord is talking about. In Matthew 15 and in Mark 7, he uses the word "curse." Here, the Greek word is kakalogeo, which means to curse,
#63 | 46:42 to 47:33 | cleaned
to speak evil of, to abuse and revile. Now if you look in Matthew 15 and verse 4, our Lord says, "For God commanded..." Isn't that interesting? Now if you look in Mark 7 and verse 10, "For Moses said..." Well, who was it that said it, God or Moses? Obviously both of them. It was God who spoke through Moses. And Moses penned the word of God. And so when you go back to Matthew 15 in verse 4, "For God commanded, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death." How do you curse your father and your mother? You curse them, of course, by abusing them, speaking evil against them, dishonoring them. That is true.
#64 | 47:34 to 48:28 | cleaned
But we're talking about deception. Now I want you to look in Matthew 15, verse 5. "But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."
#65 | 48:29 to 48:52 | cleaned
Now the phrase "it is a gift" is the word "Corban" in Mark 7. The word "Corban" is just simply a Hebrew word denoting a gift. Here in Matthew 15 the word "gift" and the word "Corban" in Mark chapter 7 refers to something that is dedicated to God or dedicated to the service of God, and since it is dedicated to God or to the service of God, it cannot be appropriated for any other use. Now I want you to watch something.
#66 | 48:53 to 49:29 | cleaned
The sin of cursing one's parents is here opposed to the duty of honoring one's parents. It is true that those who speak ill of their parents, abuse them, mock them, wish them ill, taunt them, speak to them disrespectfully, violate the fifth commandment. But it is not sufficient that our language be respectful. Do you not remember in Matthew 21 and verse 30 where our Lord is talking about the parable of the two sons?
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And he said to the one son, "Go work today in my vineyard." And he said, "I go, sir," and went not. He was very respectful. But he was very disobedient. Now my question was this: was that son who was respectful, was he not cursing his parents? Well, of course, where he was deceiving them. He told his father he was going to work in the vineyard, but he didn't go.
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It was a deliberate deception. It was a lie.
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Now our Lord teaches us that the fifth commandment—listen carefully—obliges children to relieve their aged and elderly parents in their necessities. That is the concept used in Matthew 15 and Mark 7 when he talks about honoring your father and your mother.
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Now here's what the Pharisees had done. The Pharisees said it is more important for a man to dedicate his property and his money to God than it would be to relieve the needs of his elderly parents. It did not matter how poor his parents were, did not matter how elderly they were, did not matter how hungry they were, did not matter how desperately in need of medical attention they were. If a son just simply said "Corban" over his property, over his money, that meant then that money was dedicated to God and that's what our Lord said, "Thus ye shall be free." In other words, the Pharisees said you're free. What are they free from? Free from helping their parents. Free from alleviating the needs of their parents. By the way, you remember I talked about the eldest son? And you remember the eldest son always got a double portion of the inheritance? Do you know why? Because it was the eldest son's responsibility, his duty, and his privilege to take care of his parents when they were old and they could not take care of themselves.
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He got a double portion just for that. And so the Pharisees are saying here, all you've got to do is say "Corban," it's a gift to God. And who would expect you to take that which is dedicated to God and use it for such a mundane thing as feeding your elderly parents? Or buying medicine for them? I mean, come on. This is God's money. You can't use God's money. What did our Lord say? God said you're cursing your parents. When God said, "Honour thy father and thy mother."
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I want you to turn in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5. 1 Timothy chapter 5. And look, if you would please, at verse 4. 1 Timothy chapter 5, verse 4. Look what God says. 1 Timothy 5, verse 4: "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God." "But if any widow have children or nephews"—so we've got the immediate family and we have the extended family. "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God." Now, first, I want you to note the word "piety." The word "piety" is another word for godliness or holiness. So he says, let the children learn to show godliness at home. Well, how do you show godliness at home? He said, "and to requite their parents." Secondly, I want you to note the word "requite."
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It literally means to pay back. How can children pay back their parents? Well, I want you to think about this. Your parents took care of you when you could not take care of yourself. They fed you when you could not feed yourself. They clothed you when you could not clothe yourself. They doctored you when you could not doctor yourself. They provided for your education. They provided for your medical attention. They provided everything for you.
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And now God says that you are an adult. And your parents are elderly and they cannot take care of themselves. You need to requite them. Pay them back. And He said, this is good and acceptable before God.
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Now skip down to verse 8. I want you to see what he says. "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." What? So God says if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel. A violation of God's law, especially a violation of the fifth commandment, he says, is a denial of the faith and makes one worse than an infidel.
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Now I want you to think back on the text that we chose, Genesis 37. What did Jacob's sons do to their father? They cursed him for twenty-two years. For they failed to provide the comfort and the solace and the knowledge that he needed to be reunited to Joseph. For twenty-two years, they withheld the need of their father. They allowed him to suffer mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually when they had the ability to free him from his suffering.
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Their hatred, their envy and their deception was a violation of God's law. How not to treat your parents? Let me make some applications. The first one is this. God's law, of course, demands that we love and honor our parents. Now, I realize our parents are not perfect. Our parents are sinful. Some of us have unsaved parents. I understand that. There are no perfect parents. But the truth of the matter is this. They're still our parents. And God still requires us to honor them and obey them while we can.
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What did our Lord say in John 5, in verse 23? Let me quote it. "That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him." So God then has sovereignly provided our parents. I know that many of us have parents that have gone on. I understand that. But God has sovereignly provided our parents. And when we refuse our parents, we're also refusing Him who gave us our parents. Did you know, actually, this is the way it should be. The parents should always be a prophet, priest, and king to their children. They should be a prophet to declare unto them the word of God, a priest to intercede for them, and a king to rule over them biblically. Do our parents fail in those areas? Many times. But they're still our parents. And I realize this, that God still calls upon us to honor them and not curse them.
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The second application is this. If you will not love and honor and obey your parents now, if you will not do for them now while you're young, what makes you think you're going to take care of them when they're old? I mean, if you're in the habit of cursing your parents, what makes you think all of a sudden you're going to change and start honoring them? Do you realize that now is the time to love them? Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to communicate with them. Now is the time to work out differences. Now is the time to forgive. Now is the time because one of these days our parents will not be around. It's time now. God says honor your father and your mother. He that curseth father and mother, let him die the death. Here's the last one.
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You have to remember, God's law teaches that we reap what we sow. Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents. And if I want my children to love me and honor me and help me, I need to love and honor and help my parents because you do reap exactly what you sow. Just stop and think. There is a proper way to treat your parents biblically. And there is a way not to treat your parents.
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Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we bow to thee. We thank you for your love, for your word, for your truth. We ask that you speak to our hearts, help us, convict us, build us up in the most holy faith. Make us, God, holy in the name of Jesus Christ. We ask and pray. Amen.
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T21:21:02Z

How not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

Pastor John Weaver uses the example of Jacob's sons in Genesis 37 to illustrate how adult children dishonor their parents through hatred, envy, and deliberate deception. He emphasizes that while obedience may change with adulthood, the command to honor parents is lifelong. The sermon warns that sins like envy and deception not only harm family relationships but also constitute a form of cursing one's parents, with severe spiritual consequences.

Introduction and the Fifth Commandment

The sermon opens by reading Exodus 20:12 and introducing the topic of how not to treat parents, using the adult sons of Jacob as the primary example.

Scripture Reading — Exodus 20:12

"Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

God's Two Requirements: Obedience and Honor

God requires both obedience and honor from children. While obedience may lessen when a child leaves home, the duty to honor parents never ceases.

Dishonoring Parents Through Hatred and Envy Among Siblings

Hatred and envy among siblings dishonor parents. These sins often arise from perceived favoritism or when one sibling refuses to compromise with wickedness.

Scripture Reading — Romans 1:31

That is the brothers and the sisters. We're not to dishonor our parents by the sins of hatred and envy among the siblings. Now, very obviously, Joseph's brethren hated him. And I'm going to point out a little bit later they also hated their father. It is indeed unnatural to hate your family. However, we're told in Romans 1, in verse 31, and in 2 Timothy chapter 3, in verse 3, that there are some who are without natural affection. We're also told in Galatians 5, in verse 20, that hatred is a work of the flesh. Moreover, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 10, in verse 12, that "hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins."

Scripture Reading — 1 Chronicles 5:1

"Now the sons of Reuben the firstborn of Israel, (for he was the firstborn; but, forasmuch as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph the son of Israel: and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright."

Dishonoring Parents by Denigrating a Sibling's Calling

Trying to destroy a sibling's God-given vocation or calling is dishonorable. Joseph's brothers envied his dreams rather than encouraging him.

The Destructive Nature of Envy

Envy does not seek to possess what another has but to destroy it. It leads to family destruction and is a root cause of many sins.

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 14:30

" A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 27, verse 4, teaches us that "

Dishonoring Parents Through Deliberate Deception

The brothers' deception of Jacob about Joseph's death is a prime example of how lying to parents curses them. Their plan was premeditated and caused prolonged suffering.

Now I want you to listen carefully. I want you to watch. Go back to Genesis 37 and verse 2. "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being" how old? "Seventeen years old." Okay.

Now turn in your Bibles to Genesis 41 and look at verse 46. Genesis 41, verse 46:

Scripture Reading — Genesis 41:46

"And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt."

Deception as Cursing Parents

Using Matthew 15 and Mark 7, the sermon explains that deception and withholding care from parents are forms of cursing them, equivalent to treating them as worthless.

Look what God says. Proverbs 20, verse 20:

Scripture Reading — Proverbs 20:20

"Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness."

Oh, that was in Matthew 15, I'm sorry.

Scripture Reading — Matthew 15:1-6

"Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."

Now, hold Matthew 15, but look in Mark chapter 7, if you would please, at verse 10.

Applications: Honoring Parents Now

How not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother

John Weaver | YouTube

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	YouTube
Media ID	U8VwMB_NE9w
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2012-02-15
Dictation Name
Book	Book 028: The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness — Chapter 9
Source Timed Segments	82

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction and the Fifth Commandment: The sermon opens by reading Exodus 20:12 and introducing the topic of how not to treat parents, using the adult sons of Jacob as the primary example.
God's Two Requirements: Obedience and Honor: God requires both obedience and honor from children. While obedience may lessen when a child leaves home, the duty to honor parents never ceases.
Dishonoring Parents Through Hatred and Envy Among Siblings: Hatred and envy among siblings dishonor parents. These sins often arise from perceived favoritism or when one sibling refuses to compromise with wickedness.
Dishonoring Parents by Denigrating a Sibling's Calling: Trying to destroy a sibling's God-given vocation or calling is dishonorable. Joseph's brothers envied his dreams rather than encouraging him.
The Destructive Nature of Envy: Envy does not seek to possess what another has but to destroy it. It leads to family destruction and is a root cause of many sins.
Dishonoring Parents Through Deliberate Deception: The brothers' deception of Jacob about Joseph's death is a prime example of how lying to parents curses them. Their plan was premeditated and caused prolonged suffering.
Deception as Cursing Parents: Using Matthew 15 and Mark 7, the sermon explains that deception and withholding care from parents are forms of cursing them, equivalent to treating them as worthless.
Applications: Honoring Parents Now: Applications include the duty to love and honor imperfect parents, the need to repent and care for parents while they are alive, and the principle of reaping what we sow in how our children will treat us.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

Honor is a lifelong command, unlike obedience which may change with adulthood.

While adult children may not be under the same obligation to obey as when they lived at home, the command to honor parents never ends.

He says, 'you cannot quibble over "honour thy father and thy mother." Because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.'

Hatred and envy among siblings are rooted in perceived favoritism and refusal to compromise with sin.

Joseph's brothers hated him because of Jacob's love and Joseph's integrity, which led them to dishonor their father.

He explains, 'hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality, as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority.'

Envy seeks destruction, not possession.

Envy is uniquely destructive because it aims to destroy what another has rather than to obtain it for oneself.

He says, 'Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.'

Deception of parents is a form of cursing them.

Using biblical definitions, deception treats parents as worthless and is equivalent to cursing, which God condemns severely.

He states, 'Deception involves cursing your parents... to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor.'

Withholding care from parents is a violation of the fifth commandment.

Jesus taught that dedicating resources to God while neglecting parents' needs is cursing them, and Paul says such neglect makes one worse than an infidel.

He references Matthew 15:5 and 1 Timothy 5:8, saying, 'if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel.'

Jacob's sons cursed their father for twenty-two years through deception.

By hiding the truth about Joseph, they withheld comfort and caused prolonged suffering, which was a continuous act of cursing.

He calculates, 'for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father... They cursed him for twenty-two years.'

Scripture References

Exodus 20:12: Read as the fifth commandment, the foundation for honoring parents.
Genesis 37:1-11: The main text, describing Joseph's relationship with his brothers and father, including the coat and dreams.
Ephesians 6:1-2: Cited to show God's requirement for children to obey and honor parents.
Romans 1:31: Mentioned as describing those without natural affection.
2 Timothy 3:3: Mentioned alongside Romans 1:31 regarding lack of natural affection.
Galatians 5:20: Cited to show that hatred is a work of the flesh.
Proverbs 10:12: Quoted to contrast hatred stirring strife with love covering sins.
1 Chronicles 5:1: Explains why Reuben lost the birthright and Joseph received it.
Proverbs 14:30: Quoted to show envy as rottenness of the bones.
Proverbs 27:4: Quoted to illustrate the overwhelming power of envy.
Titus 3:3: Mentioned as teaching that envy motivates hateful behavior.
Genesis 41:46: Used to calculate Joseph's age and the duration of the deception.
Genesis 45:6: Used to calculate the years of famine and total time of deception.
Genesis 44:30-34: Judah's plea reveals the ongoing sorrow of Jacob over Joseph.
Isaiah 44:20: Quoted to show that a deceived heart turns one aside.
Exodus 21:17: Cited as the law prescribing death for cursing parents.
Leviticus 20:9: Reinforces the death penalty for cursing parents.
Proverbs 20:20: Warns that the lamp of one who curses parents will be put out.
Proverbs 30:11: Describes a generation that curses father and does not bless mother.
Matthew 15:1-6: Jesus condemns the Pharisees for using tradition to avoid honoring parents, equating it to cursing.

Historical References

Pharisees' tradition of Corban: The practice of dedicating property to God to avoid using it to support parents, condemned by Jesus.
Custom of the eldest son receiving a double portion: Explained as the means by which the eldest son was expected to care for aging parents.

Important Quotes

there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.

Emphasizes the lifelong nature of the fifth commandment, a central thesis of the sermon.

Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed.

Defines the destructive essence of envy, which motivated the brothers' actions.

Deception involves cursing your parents.

Key argument linking deception to the biblical concept of cursing, with severe consequences.

for a minimum of twenty-two years, these sons deceived their father. And for twenty-two years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead.

Highlights the prolonged suffering caused by the brothers' deception.

if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel.

Stresses the gravity of neglecting family responsibilities, especially toward parents.

Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents.

Practical application of the sowing and reaping principle in family relationships.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

In what ways can adult children continue to honor their parents even after leaving home?

[Context]

Based on the distinction between obedience and honor, and the lifelong nature of the fifth commandment.

[Question]

How can perceived favoritism among siblings lead to hatred and envy, and how can families guard against this?

[Context]

Stemming from the discussion of Joseph's coat and the brothers' reaction.

[Question]

Why is envy described as wanting to destroy rather than possess, and what are modern examples of this?

[Context]

From the explanation of envy's nature and its consequences.

[Question]

How does deception of parents equate to cursing them, according to the biblical definitions used in the sermon?

[Context]

Related to the teaching on the Hebrew and Greek words for curse and Jesus' application in Matthew 15.

[Question]

What are practical ways adult children can 'requite' their parents, especially as they age?

[Context]

Based on 1 Timothy 5:4 and the duty to care for parents.

[Question]

How can the principle of reaping what we sow motivate us to treat our parents better?

[Context]

From the final application about children treating us as we treat our parents.

Applications

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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T13:23:36Z