The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family

The Family - Part 5

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2007-09-23

Synopsis: In this sermon, John Weaver begins a detailed examination of the distinctive roles God has assigned within the family, focusing first on the wife's role of submission. He establishes four introductory principles for interpreting Ephesians 5: the passage must be understood in light of the whole of Scripture, in the perspective of our oneness in Christ, as distinctively Christian, and as inseparably joined to its counterpart (the husband's role). The main point covered is the nature of submission, which is voluntary yet not optional, exclusive to one's own husband, religious (as unto the Lord), and ordained by God. Weaver uses the example of Jesus' subjection to His parents to illustrate that submission is not demeaning but is obedience to God's ordained order.

[John Weaver] Ephesians 5, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

[John Weaver] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence the husband."

[John Weaver] Now, we've been looking at the biblical doctrine of the family for several weeks. We've looked at the dominion aspect of the family, and I shared with you and showed you how the dominion aspect not only teaches responsibility and stewardship, but it also involves authority as well, and how God has ordained the family to be an instrument of dominion. Then we look at the creation differences between men and women. And I showed you how that God had purposely, deliberately made these differences, especially how that men and women differ, especially pointed out in relationship to the women. They not only differ physically, but judgmentally, and of course, emotionally. And then last week, we looked at God's intentional order. And I showed you how in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, God has ordained that God, Christ, man, and woman And I went through the Bible and showed you over and over where the Bible emphasized the fact that God created Adam first. And so there was an intentional order in creation which results in an intentional order in the home and an intentional order in society.

[John Weaver] Now, today I want to come to begin the part on the distinctive roles that God has assigned to the wives to the husbands and to the children. I'm going to take the role of a wife first, because that's the way it appears in Scripture. Now, let me just simply point out the fact, by way of introduction, that each role has been ordained by God Himself. If you and I are to fulfill our roles, and we must understand them, and as we understand them, we must obey them, and in obeying them, then we're going to have a blessed and successful family. It does not take much discernment to look around in our day and time and realize that families are falling apart in America.

[John Weaver] Very few homes are happy homes. Very few homes are fulfilling and spiritual homes. And I could go further. I could say this. The average home is usually a living hell on earth. It ought not to be that way. It should not be that way. But it is that way because of our rebellion toward God. And may I point out that when you're talking about the family, rebellion does not necessarily have to occur only in the children. Rebellion can also occur in the wife. It can also occur in the husband and the father as well. And so the word of God then condemns and forbids all types of rebellion. It doesn't matter if we're talking about rebellious children, or tyrannical and henpecked husbands, or unsubmissive wives, or any combination thereof. All are condemned by God.

[John Weaver] Now, as we look in Ephesians chapter 5, I want to give you just several introductory principles. And let me just say that originally, I had planned on dealing with the role of the wife this Sunday and the role of the husband next Sunday. But as I was preparing, I realized I'm never ever going to finish the role of the wife in one message. So out of the four points I have, I'm only going to cover one today. The next three will come next week, and then when I return from the mission trip out west, then I'll pick up with the role of the husband. But I want you to please understand these four principles. We're talking about Ephesians chapter 5. So here's number one.

[John Weaver] First, the whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith. The whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.

[John Weaver] Now, what I mean by that statement is this, that everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 is organically connected to the rest of Scripture. Everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 may be substantiated through a multitude of scriptures throughout the entirety of the Bible. So let me emphasize this, that Ephesians chapter 5 is not an isolated passage. You cannot say that in Ephesians chapter 5, Paul just simply got upset with the feminist movement in his day and therefore he's going to straighten it out. No, no, no, no. The principles taught in Ephesians chapter 5 are taught throughout the Bible. For instance, when you look at Ephesians 5 and verse 31, For this call shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife.

[John Weaver] They too shall be one flesh. That may be found in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24. When you come to Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 2, honor thy father and thy mother, that may be found in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12. In other words, I don't care what passage you take from Ephesians chapter 5 and 6, because actually Paul continues his argument in chapter 6 as well, but whatever passage you take, it may be substantiated throughout the rest of Scripture. So very obviously then, if you are upset With what Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter 5, you're not just upset with Paul. You're upset with all the apostles and prophets in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and you're primarily upset with God because God is the one who gave his word. So the very first thing that you've got to understand is that this passage is organically connected to the entirety of Scripture, and it must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.

[John Weaver] The second principle is this. The whole of this passage, the whole of Ephesians chapter 5 and 6 really, because Paul continues there, the whole of this passage is to be understood in the perspective of our oneness and our wholeness and our completeness in Jesus Christ.

[John Weaver] Now, what do I mean by that? Here's what I mean. Each of us has exactly the same standing before God. I don't care if it's a husband. I don't care if it's a wife. I don't care if it's a child. I don't care if it's a servant. I don't care if it's a master. Each of us has the exact same standing. Each one has the exact same standing before God.

[John Weaver] For instance, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4. Beginning there with verse 1. Ephesians 4. I therefore the prisoner of the Lord beseech you that you walk worthy of the vocation wherewith you are called, with all lowliness and meekness and longsuffering, forbearing one another in love. Now look, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace, there is one body and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in you all. Now, if you were to turn in your Bibles back to Galatians chapter 3, and look if you would please at verses 27 and 28. Galatians 3 verses 27 and 28.

[John Weaver] Here the Apostle Paul says, For as many of you have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ. Then he makes this statement, There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ. Now, please understand what the Apostle Paul is saying. Paul is not saying that when you were converted, there are no longer any distinctions between the sexes or there are no longer any distinction between the races. That is not what he's saying. Very obviously, I'm thankful that when my wife and I were converted, she remained a woman and I remained a man. But what he is saying is this, there is no distinction in the standing that we have before God. Each of us have an equal footing before God. That's why the Bible talks about our standing in Romans 5 in verse 2. And each of us, men, women, children, servants, masters, have an equal standing before God in three ways. Number one, creation dignity. That is, we're all created in the image of God.

[John Weaver] Number two, natural depravity. That is, each of us are sinners. And number three, redemptive privileges. That is, we may all be redeemed by the grace of God. So, we have an equal standing before God. But that does not mean, which I'm going to point out later, that we all have equal positions before God. There's a vast difference between standing and position. The third principle is this. The whole of this passage, Ephesians chapter 5, is distinctively Christian. By that, I mean this. That this passage relates to Christians and to Christian desires and Christian motives. Unless one is a Christian, he will think that this passage is absolute nonsense. A non-Christian cannot see the wonder and the beauty and the wisdom of the will of God that is revealed here. The Apostle Paul, like I pointed out, continues his teaching in chapter 6 where children and parents and masters and slaves all are admonished But each one is admonished from a Christian perspective. So when God admonishes the wife, in Ephesians chapter 5, He is appealing to a Christian wife, and with Christian motives.

[John Weaver] When He admonishes the husband, He is appealing to a Christian husband, with Christian motives. And likewise to children, and likewise to servants, and likewise to the masters. Here's the fourth point, and that is this. Each part of this passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart. Just because I'm going to be dealing with wives today and next Sunday, men don't sit back and say, not a boy preacher, you tell them. Because your part is inseparably joined to her part. It is true that God commands the wives to submit to their husbands. But it is equally true God commands the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. It is equally true that children are to submit to their parents. But God also commands you parents, especially the fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. It is true that the servants or the slaves are to be obedient to their masters. But God also commands the masters not to forget that they have a master who is in heaven who will judge them according to their actions.

[John Weaver] So each part then is inseparably joined to its counterpart. So although I'm trying to separate these in order that we may see the individual roles, please understand that each of these go together, the wife and the husband, the children and the parents, the servants and the masters.

[John Weaver] Now, women, gentlemen, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5, and I want you to help me out. I want to turn to two other passages, and I want you to see if you can pick out from Scripture the key word for the wife. Look in Ephesians 5, verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Look, if you would, in the book of Colossians over just a few pages. Colossians 3 verse 18. Notice what the scripture says. Colossians 3 verse 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Then if you would turn right on over to 1 Peter and look in chapter 3 at verses 5 and 6.

[John Weaver] 1 Peter 3. Verse 5, for after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Notice verse 5. For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands."

[John Weaver] Now, having read these three passages that deal with wives, what would you say the key word for the wife is in each of these passages? Submit or submission or subjection. It is repeated over and over.

[John Weaver] Now, therefore, let me give you the outline that I'm going to follow. And like I said, I'm only going to cover one point today. I want to discuss, and the reason I'm taking my time, is because I believe this is vitally important and there is so much misunderstanding concerning this subject. I'm going to give you, number one, the nature of submission. Then next Sunday, Lord willing, we're going to be looking at the ground of submission, the extent of submission, and the climate of submission. But today, the only point, the nature of submission.

[John Weaver] Now look what the Bible says in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

[John Weaver] Now the word submission is usually a hated and despised and oftentimes a misunderstood word. The word for submit here is the Greek word hupotasso, which is translated in our Bibles as put under, be subject to, to submit oneself unto, to be in subjection unto, and to put under subjection. The word actually means to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject, to be in subjection, to obey, to submit to one's control, and to yield to one's admonition and advice. It's interesting that the Greek word hupotasso is actually a Greek military term. How about that? It had to deal with the arrangement of troops in a military fashion under a commander or leader.

[John Weaver] In non-military usage, it came to mean a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. Now, what I want to do is this. I want to show you several passages where this word, submit, is found in Scripture. I want you to turn in your Bibles, hold Ephesians chapter 5, but turn in your Bibles to Luke chapter 2. I think this one passage would really explain this word more than all of my delineation of Greek terms and definitions. But look in Luke chapter 2.

[John Weaver] Most of you would know the story how our Lord went with his parents up to Jerusalem for the feast. And of course, When they left, they assumed that he was somehow with the family. And when they got down the road, they found out he wasn't there. And when they went back, they saw him, and there he was in the temple teaching and hearing and answering questions to all of those leaders.

[John Weaver] Well, if you look in Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, They take Christ, who is now 12 years old. In fact, let's begin reading the verse 48, just so that you can see the context of it. And when they saw him, they were amazed. And his mother said of him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said of them, How is it that you sought me?

[John Weaver] Wished you not that I must be about my father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them, and he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them. But his mother kept all these sayings in her heart." Remember, the word subject in verse 51 is exactly the same that is translated as submit in Ephesians chapter 5. The Bible says that Jesus Christ went down to Nazareth and was subject unto them. What does it mean when the Bible says that Jesus Christ was subject unto his parents? It simply means this, that Christ performed the duty of a faithful and an obedient child in every respect. He obeyed. He honored. He helped. He worked with his parents.

[John Weaver] He submitted to their demands and to their wishes. Now, let me ask you a question. At this particular time, our Lord was 12 years of age. Here's my question. Was Jesus Christ God when he was a boy? Well, of course he was. If you say, well, no, he wasn't a God when he was a boy, then you've got to answer the question, when then did he become God? And how did he become God? Well, you see, the Scripture teaches that Jesus Christ was God even before he was born. And when he was born, he was still God.

[John Weaver] Look in your Bible, since you're in Luke 2, turn back to Matthew chapter 1. Matthew chapter 1, and notice if you would, verses 21 through 23. Matthew chapter 1, beginning there with verse 21. Notice what the Bible says, and the angel is talking to Mary, the mother of our Lord. And he tells her in Matthew 1 verse 21, and she shall, actually he's talking to Joseph, and she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled, which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted as what? God with us. So yes, Jesus Christ was God when He was a boy. He was God before He was born. He was God after He was born. There never has been a time when Jesus Christ was not God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 3, verse 16, and without all controversy, great is the mystery of godliness, God was manifest in the flesh.

[John Weaver] So when Jesus Christ was born in the flesh, He was God. Now for the important question and the one that relates to our subject. Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no. Was he demeaned? Was he dishonored? Was he shamed in any way by being in subjection to his parents? No. You know what Jesus Christ did when his parents came back and said, son, Come on home with us."

[John Weaver] He probably said, yes ma'am. And he went down and was in subjection unto them. What was Jesus Christ doing? He was assuming the proper role of a child in the structure of the family. Had he not assumed that role as a child, had he acted in any other way, it would have been rebellion to the Word of God. We've got to learn something right here, that true liberty is only found in obedience to the will and the word of God. Jesus Christ went back and was in subjection to his parents.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to consider this and let me make an application. When the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, is it therefore demeaning dishonorable and shameful for a wife to be in submission to her husband? The answer is no. Just like Jesus Christ was assuming his God-ordained role in the family as a child by being in submission to his parents, the wife is not being demeaned or dishonored or shamed by being in submission to her husband because that is her God-ordained role.

[John Weaver] Now, Let me ask some questions and ladies, I want you to pay particular attention. Was Christ wiser than his parents? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Did he have more knowledge and understanding than his parents? Yes, he did. Was he smarter? Yes, he was. Now, here's what I want to point out. Submission does not have anything to do with education. It does not have anything to do with brains and smarts.

[John Weaver] It has to do with obedience to the will of God. Let me ask another question. Ladies, think about this. Did Christ have greater ability than his parents? The answer is yes. He created the world and everything therein. The point I want you to see is, once again, it's not a matter of education, it's not a matter of ability, it's not a matter of IQ, it's not a matter of culture, it's not a matter of anything else other than just simple obedience. So the Bible says that Jesus Christ went down and was subject to his parents. Why?

[John Weaver] Because that was God's ordained role for the child. Had he done anything else, it would have been considered rebellion. What is God's ordained role for the wife? It is that of submission to her husband.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to turn back to Ephesians chapter 5, because I want to point out some elements in the nature of this submission. And please remember, once again, that submission is not dishonorable, it is not demeaning, it is not shameful. Look in verse 22, Ephesians 5, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, Now skip down to verse 24, Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. Now, first, we're talking about the nature of submission. First, it is to be a voluntary submission. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. And then he says, Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. The whole assumption in Ephesians chapter 5 is this, that the husband has wooed and won the wife. Just like Jesus Christ has wooed and won and drawn the Christian to himself. Now, I want you to hold Ephesians chapter 5, but I want you to look back in your Bibles to John 6 and verse 44.

[John Weaver] Look in John 6 in verse 44. There is a parallel that is given here. The wife is to be in submission to the husband as the church is to be in submission to Christ. In John 6 in verse 44, notice what the scripture says. John 6 verse 44. Our Lord says no man can come unto me except the father who had sent me draw him and I will raise him up at the last day.

[John Weaver] Now, how does Christ get us to Himself by His irresistible grace and love. And He does so in such a way, listen now men, He does so in such a way that we want to be in submission to Him. He draws us. He loves us. And he works in our lives so that we want to be in submission to him more than anything else.

[John Weaver] Now, go back to Ephesians chapter 5. I've just stated that the first point under the nature of this submission is that it is to be voluntary. But listen carefully. While it is to be voluntary, it is not optional. Why? Because it is a command given by God. When He says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, it is a command. It is something that God gives. I pointed out the fact that this command is addressed to the renewed and the regenerated will of Christian wives. He commands Christian wives to voluntarily submit themselves unto and voluntarily, willingly delight in submission to their husbands.

[John Weaver] Now men, I want you to watch this. Notice if you would, the scripture does not say husbands, force your wives into submission. Forced submission is an oxymoron. If it's forced, it's not submission. If it's submission, then it's not forced. Forced submission is a contradiction in terms. That's like a sober drunk. Or a Christian prostitute. I mean, come on. Contradiction in terms. An honest politician. You understand what I'm saying. It's an oxymoron. And men, please listen to this. No man can force his wife to be in submission to him, and even if he could, He would break down the parallel of the passage.

[John Weaver] What am I talking about? Look at Ephesians 5, verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Now watch. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is a subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Does Christ force the church to be in subjection unto him? No. No.

[John Weaver] He draws us, he woos us, he wins us, he teaches us, he helps us so that we're willingly and voluntarily submitting ourselves unto him. And that's exactly what he's saying right here. Even if you could force your wife into submission, it would be a violation of the figure and of the picture that is being presented here in Ephesians chapter 5. But let me go a little further. You see, a wife that will not willingly and voluntarily submit herself to her husband is either reflecting, number one, that she is unregenerate and unconverted, or number two, That if she is a Christian, she's in rebellion to the word of God, and certainly not right with God, for she's in violation of His will. Now, if she is unregenerate, instead of seeking to force her to be in submission, it'd be far better to pray that God would grant her repentance in faith, and that God would save her.

[John Weaver] You know, there's one truth that I have really found out in 42 years of preaching. It's a very difficult truth to have to face and admit, but I had to face it and I had to admit it. Here it is. I can't save anybody. And there's another that goes along with it. I can't make anybody do what's right. I wished I could, but I can't. The truth is, folks, if God doesn't save us, we're not saved. And if God doesn't work in our hearts, we're not saved.

[John Weaver] So the only thing that you can do if you have an unconverted mate, this would apply to women as well as husbands, is pray that the Lord would give them grace and live a Christian life in front of them and use every opportunity to get the Word of God before them. If a woman is a Christian and is in rebellion to the Word of God, well, let me tell you this, folks. She won't be in rebellion that long because Hebrews chapter 12 says, as many as he loves, he does what? He chastens.

[John Weaver] Let me put it to you very bluntly. If you and I, or if anyone, can sin against God and get away with it, we don't belong to Him. He scourges every son whom he receiveth, says the Bible. And if you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the Father chastened not? If you be without chastisement, then are you bastards and not sons. So if a man can sin against God constantly and continually, if a woman can sin against God constantly and continually and get by with it in this life, apparently, then they're not a Christian. Because God hasn't worked out that we're either living a changed life or we're living a chastised life.

[John Weaver] You remember that passage in Micah 6 and in verse 9 it is, Hear ye the rod and him who hath appointed it? In other words, if you don't hear the Word, then you're going to hear the rod.

[John Weaver] Now, listen to what the Bible says in Hebrews 12 and verse 11. Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who exercise thereby. Now, I don't know if you felt that verse through or not, but listen to it. Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but it's grievous. How many of you as a child just really loved being whipped? Nobody. I don't even like it as an adult. But you understand, when you got that chastening, it was for your good, right?

[John Weaver] It was for your benefit. Listen to what the Bible says now. No chasing seemed to be joyous but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards, that is, after it's over, this is when God does it. Nevertheless, it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who were exercised thereby.

[John Weaver] Now, many times we whipped our children and it didn't take. We had to whip them again and again and again and again and again. But God doesn't have to do that. When God gets through with you, his lessons take. It yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto those who are exercised thereby.

[John Weaver] Now, let me just give you an illustration. To underline this fact of Hebrews chapter 12, let's suppose that James is my son. And I say, James, please go do such and such for me. And he says, no, father, I'm not going to do it. I said, what? Did you misunderstand me, son? No, dad, I didn't misunderstand you. I'm just telling you right now, I'm not going to do it. Now, let me ask you a question as his father. And wanting him to be loving and obedient and respectful and kind, am I going to just turn around and say, well, maybe you'll obey me next week when I ask you to do something, what am I going to do? I'll tell you what I would do if he's my son. I would jerk him up, I would jerk a limb and I'd beat him with an inch of his life and I'd say, son, next time I tell you something, you say, yes sir. Do you understand?

[John Weaver] Why would I do that? Because I hate him? No. Because I understand the longer I allow him to go in rebellion, the further he's going to rebel and the harder it's going to be to reclaim him. You follow me? So what am I going to do? I'm going to whip him right away.

[John Weaver] Now what is God saying? God is saying in Hebrews chapter 12, if you can sin constantly and continually and get by with it, you don't belong to him. He understands that principle just like we understand that principle. He'll jerk a knot in us.

[John Weaver] Now, here's what it boils down to. You can ask yourself this question, wives, do you love Jesus Christ? Do you love the will of God and the Word of God? Do you want to please God? Do you want to obey Christ? Do you want to honor Christ? What if you do? Let me just quote John 14, verse 15 and verse 21. In verse 15, our Lord said, If you love me, keep my commandments. In verse 21, he says, He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me.

[John Weaver] Now, ladies, you've got to remember this. Submission has nothing to do with intelligence, or culture, or education, or anything else. It only has to do with the will of God. What is the will of God for your life? And the will of God is that you be in submission to your husband. A voluntary submission that God has ordained because the husband is the head of the wife. But you object and say, but Pastor, you just don't know my husband. No, I don't. But God does, and he knew him before he ever wrote Ephesians chapter 5. You say, but you don't understand. I may not understand, but I can read.

[John Weaver] And the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands. Now, let me just show you. Here's the parallel. And I'm going to repeat this over and over. The picture, and I'll develop it even more next week, the picture is that the wife is representative of the church. And her submission to her husband is to represent the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. So here's what I'm going to tell you. Listen to this. Any wife who professes that she loves her husband, but she will not submit to him. It's empty talk and she doesn't really love her husband.

[John Weaver] How can I say that? Here's how I can say that any Christian. Who professes to love Jesus Christ, but he will not submit to him and will not obey him. It's empty talk. He doesn't really love Christ. You remember what our Lord said in Luke 6 in verse 46? Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say unto you. In other words, the proof that we love Christ is we keep his commandments. If you love me, keep my commandments. So it is. It is unreal to even try to imagine that here's someone that can be a real genuine Christian and not be in submission to Christ. Because if a man loves Christ, he's going to submit to him. Likewise, if a woman loves her husband and, of course, she loves Christ, she's going to submit to her husband because the parallel is the woman's role represents the role of the church in submission to Christ. So, it is to be a voluntary submission. Secondly, look in your Bibles, in Ephesians 5 and verse 22, it is to be an exclusive submission.

[John Weaver] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. I like that little word, Idios. It doesn't mean idiot in the Greek. The word idios means that which is peculiar to yourself. That which particularly belongs to you. Why submit yourselves to that man that particularly belongs to you?

[John Weaver] Now, let me just say, there is indeed and in truth A submission that is to be given to all men in general. But that is different from this submission. Let me tell you what I'm talking about. In Acts chapter 16, Paul went down to the river where a women's prayer meeting was being held. Did the women there ignore Paul and just carry on? No. They say, well, Paul, you're here.

[John Weaver] You speak and you pray. You follow? That's a general deference and a general submission. If I walked into a room of women who were about to have a Bible study, and if I walked into that room and the leader, the lady who was the leader of the lady's Bible study was about to ask someone to lead in prayer, and I'm standing in the room, I expect her to ask me. Not a woman. Why?

[John Weaver] Because there's a man there. That is a general deference and a general submission. While that is true, that is not what he's talking about here in Acts 5, I'm sorry, in Ephesians 5 in verse 22. He's saying, wives, submit yourselves to your own particular husband. I could go back and ask Janet some questions or ask her to do some things for me. And she may be kind and gracious and say, well, Pastor, I'd be more than willing to help you. And that's fine. That is a submission to me.

[John Weaver] But she doesn't owe me what she owes Henry. And Alice doesn't owe Henry what she owes me. It's a totally different thing. So God says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own peculiar and particular husband. OK. Thirdly, watch this. We're talking about the nature of submission. Thirdly, it is to be a religious submission. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

[John Weaver] Now, let me just point out that this is a very vital point. The woman's submission to her husband is not based upon cultural mores or evolutionary development or some tyrannical standard, but it is based upon a Christian principle, as unto the Lord. Now, let me point this out. Look at verse 22 again. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. The phrase means that since God designed and assigned this particular role in marriage to the wife, It is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband. In other words, it's primarily a matter of recognition and submission to God's sovereign authority. As unto the Lord. In other words, the woman recognizes, look, This is part of my worship to God. This is part of my submission to God, to be in submission to my husband. I'm doing this as unto the Lord. Let me show you. Look in Ephesians 6, where he is addressing the servants, or the slaves. Notice Ephesians 6, beginning there, verse 5.

[John Weaver] Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh. with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart." Wow. Now, what did God just tell those servants? You owe your masters obedience. But you don't obey them just because they're your masters, and just because you have to. No, no, no, no.

[John Weaver] He says you look beyond the master and you see me. Because I'm the one who said, servants, submit yourselves unto your masters. Obey your masters. It's the same principle in Ephesians chapter 5. When God says, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, adds unto the Lord, He is saying you look beyond the husband and you see Me and you understand that I am the one that has ordained your role and appointed your role and part of your worship and part of your submission to Me is your submission to your husband. Now, it's important that you grasp this fact. Why?

[John Weaver] Well, let me tell you why. Because women who are not in submission to their husbands in the biblical sense are not right with God and can't be right with God. Why? Because God demands that submission.

[John Weaver] Now, let me show you. Wives don't get bent out of shape on this, but think about this. I can truthfully say that a wife that is not in submission to her husband is out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say that children who are not in submission to their parents are out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say husbands who are not in submission to Christ are out of the will of God. You follow me? Because it's God who's ordained the roles. And so wives then, when they recognize that part of their worship to the Lord is their submission of their husbands, it will basically revolutionize their life and their worship. Part and parcel of their submission to God and worship of God is a biblical submission to their husbands.

[John Weaver] Fourthly, look if you would in verse 23. Let's read verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for The husband is the head of the wife. Fourthly, it is to be an ordained submission. For the husband is the head of the wife.

[John Weaver] Now let's ask one simple question. Help me out now. Who ordained the husband to be the head? In other words, the husband didn't beat his way to the top. It was not culture. It was not evolutionary development. It was not a democratic election. No. God ordained the man to be the head. So the family did not involve. Culture had nothing to do with it. God says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband's wife, for the husband is the head of the wife. When you see that it was God who ordained the family, listen carefully. And that it was God who ordained each individual role in the structure of the family. It should revolutionize your life as you see what God requires of you.

[John Weaver] And Lord willing, I'm going to cover that in the next three points. Now let me make a couple of applications for today. Although I've dealt with the nature of submission, especially in reference to the wives, we have to remember one simple truth, and that is that we are all called to be in submission in one way or another. It is true that wives must submit to their husbands. It is equally true that children must submit to their parents. It is equally true that husbands must submit to Christ. It is equally true that servants must submit to masters. It is equally true that employers or employees must submit to employers. Everybody's in submission. So submission is not something that's onerous. It's not something that's demeaning. It's not something that's shameful.

[John Weaver] We just have to understand it is God who ordained the institution of the family and the roles of the family. Secondly, let me remind you of this, and I said it at the beginning, I'm saying it now, I'll say it next week. We have to remember that each of these roles are inseparably joined to their counterparts. When God says wives submit to your husbands, equally true as husbands love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. And I will say this later, it's easy for a woman to be in submission to her husband when the husband loves her as Christ loved the church. The third application of this, we've got to make sure that we understand, that we comprehend, The difference between standing and position. We all have equal standing before God. But we do not have different positions before God. Because God has instituted the man to be the head of the wife, and the husband and the wife to be the head of the children. There's positions that differ from standing.

[John Weaver] What is the nature of submission? It's to be voluntary. But it's not optional. It's to be exclusive. It's to be religious. It's to be ordained. We must understand this comes from the hand of God. And that should be sufficient to answer our questions. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, teach us, build us up in the most holy faith. And may we understand, Lord, to some extent today the nature of submission and begin to give not only to our mates, but Lord, as a church to Thee, this voluntary, exclusive, religious and ordained submission because Thou art the head of the church and our lives are to be conformed to Thee and Thy Word. Give us grace to serve Thee acceptably with reverence and godly fear. In Thy name we pray, Amen.

[John Weaver] This program was produced by Dominion Ministry. For more information about Pastor Weaver's sermons, You may contact Dominion Ministry by mail at 7400 Abercorn, that's A-B-E-R-C-O-R-N, Street, Suite 705, P-M-B 175, Savannah, Georgia, 31406. Or give us a call at 912-925-7000.

[John Weaver] You can also visit our website at www.dominionministry.com

The Family - Part 5

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	1110711202610
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-09-23
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 5
Source Timed Segments	72

Formatted Transcript

Opening

Ephesians 5,

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:21-33

submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence the husband. Now, we've been looking at the biblical doctrine of the family for several weeks. We've looked at the dominion aspect of the family, and I shared with you and showed you how the dominion aspect not only teaches responsibility and stewardship, but it also involves authority as well, and how God has ordained the family to be an instrument of dominion. Then we looked at the creation differences between men and women. And I showed you how that God had purposely, deliberately made these differences, especially how that men and women differ, especially pointed out in relationship to the women. They not only differ physically, but judgmentally, and of course, emotionally. And then last week, we looked at God's intentional order. And I showed you how in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, God has ordained that God, Christ, man, and woman. And I went through the Bible and showed you over and over where the Bible emphasized the fact that God created Adam first. And so there was an intentional order in creation which results in an intentional order in the home and an intentional order in society.

Introduction: Distinctive Roles in the Family

Weaver introduces the topic of God-assigned roles for wives, husbands, and children, emphasizing that understanding and obeying these roles leads to a blessed family, while rebellion leads to brokenness.

Now, today I want to come to begin the part on the distinctive roles that God has assigned to the wives, to the husbands, and to the children. I'm going to take the role of a wife first, because that's the way it appears in Scripture. Now, let me just simply point out the fact, by way of introduction, that each role has been ordained by God Himself. If you and I are to fulfill our roles, we must understand them, and as we understand them, we must obey them, and in obeying them, then we're going to have a blessed and successful family. It does not take much discernment to look around in our day and time and realize that families are falling apart in America. Very few homes are happy homes. Very few homes are fulfilling and spiritual homes. And I could go further. I could say this. The average home is usually a living hell on earth. It ought not to be that way. It should not be that way. But it is that way because of our rebellion toward God. And may I point out that when you're talking about the family, rebellion does not necessarily have to occur only in the children. Rebellion can also occur in the wife. It can also occur in the husband and the father as well. And so the word of God then condemns and forbids all types of rebellion. It doesn't matter if we're talking about rebellious children, or tyrannical and henpecked husbands, or unsubmissive wives, or any combination thereof. All are condemned by God.

Four Introductory Principles for Ephesians 5

Weaver presents four principles: the passage must be interpreted by the analogy of faith, understood in light of our oneness in Christ, seen as distinctively Christian, and recognized as inseparably joined to its counterpart.

First, the whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith. The whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith. Now, what I mean by that statement is this, that everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 is organically connected to the rest of Scripture. Everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 may be substantiated through a multitude of scriptures throughout the entirety of the Bible. So let me emphasize this, that Ephesians chapter 5 is not an isolated passage. You cannot say that in Ephesians chapter 5, Paul just simply got upset with the feminist movement in his day and therefore he's going to straighten it out. No, no, no, no. The principles taught in Ephesians chapter 5 are taught throughout the Bible. For instance, when you look at Ephesians 5 and verse 31, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife."

Scripture Reading — Genesis 2:24

They two shall be one flesh. That may be found in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24. When you come to Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 2, "Honor thy father and thy mother," that may be found in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12. In other words, I don't care what passage you take from Ephesians chapter 5 and 6, because actually Paul continues his argument in chapter 6 as well, but whatever passage you take, it may be substantiated throughout the rest of Scripture. So very obviously then, if you are upset with what Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter 5, you're not just upset with Paul. You're upset with all the apostles and prophets in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and you're primarily upset with God because God is the one who gave his word. So the very first thing that you've got to understand is that this passage is organically connected to the entirety of Scripture, and it must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.

The second principle is this. The whole of this passage, the whole of Ephesians chapter 5 and 6 really, because Paul continues there, the whole of this passage is to be understood in the perspective of our oneness and our wholeness and our completeness in Jesus Christ. Now, what do I mean by that? Here's what I mean. Each of us has exactly the same standing before God. I don't care if it's a husband. I don't care if it's a wife. I don't care if it's a child. I don't care if it's a servant. I don't care if it's a master. Each of us has the exact same standing. Each one has the exact same standing before God.

For instance, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4. Beginning there with verse 1. Ephesians 4. "I therefore the prisoner of the Lord beseech you that you walk worthy of the vocation wherewith you are called, with all lowliness and meekness and longsuffering, forbearing one another in love. Now look, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace, there is one body and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in you all." Now, if you were to turn in your Bibles back to Galatians chapter 3, and look if you would please at verses 27 and 28. Galatians 3 verses 27 and 28. Here the Apostle Paul says,

Scripture Reading — Galatians 3:27-28

"For as many of you have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ."

Then he makes this statement,

Scripture Reading — Galatians 3:27-28

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ."

Now, please understand what the Apostle Paul is saying. Paul is not saying that when you were converted, there are no longer any distinctions between the sexes or there are no longer any distinction between the races. That is not what he's saying. Very obviously, I'm thankful that when my wife and I were converted, she remained a woman and I remained a man. But what he is saying is this, there is no distinction in the standing that we have before God. Each of us have an equal footing before God. That's why the Bible talks about our standing in Romans 5 in verse 2. And each of us, men, women, children, servants, masters, have an equal standing before God in three ways. Number one, creation dignity. That is, we're all created in the image of God.

Number two, natural depravity. That is, each of us are sinners. And number three, redemptive privileges. That is, we may all be redeemed by the grace of God. So, we have an equal standing before God. But that does not mean, which I'm going to point out later, that we all have equal positions before God. There's a vast difference between standing and position. The third principle is this. The whole of this passage, Ephesians chapter 5, is distinctively Christian. By that, I mean this. That this passage relates to Christians and to Christian desires and Christian motives. Unless one is a Christian, he will think that this passage is absolute nonsense. A non-Christian cannot see the wonder and the beauty and the wisdom of the will of God that is revealed here. The Apostle Paul, like I pointed out, continues his teaching in chapter 6 where children and parents and masters and slaves all are admonished. But each one is admonished from a Christian perspective. So when God admonishes the wife, in Ephesians chapter 5, He is appealing to a Christian wife, and with Christian motives.

When He admonishes the husband, He is appealing to a Christian husband, with Christian motives. And likewise to children, and likewise to servants, and likewise to the masters. Here's the fourth point, and that is this. Each part of this passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart. Just because I'm going to be dealing with wives today and next Sunday, men don't sit back and say, "Not a boy preacher, you tell them." Because your part is inseparably joined to her part. It is true that God commands the wives to submit to their husbands. But it is equally true God commands the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. It is equally true that children are to submit to their parents. But God also commands you parents, especially the fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. It is true that the servants or the slaves are to be obedient to their masters. But God also commands the masters not to forget that they have a master who is in heaven who will judge them according to their actions.

So each part then is inseparably joined to its counterpart. So although I'm trying to separate these in order that we may see the individual roles, please understand that each of these go together, the wife and the husband, the children and the parents, the servants and the masters.

The Key Word for the Wife: Submission

By examining Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3, Weaver identifies 'submit' or 'subjection' as the key word for wives, and outlines the four aspects he will cover: nature, ground, extent, and climate of submission.

Now, women, gentlemen, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5, and I want you to help me out. I want to turn to two other passages, and I want you to see if you can pick out from Scripture the key word for the wife. Look in Ephesians 5, verse 21, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Look, if you would, in the book of Colossians over just a few pages. Colossians 3 verse 18. Notice what the scripture says. Colossians 3 verse 18. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord." Then if you would turn right on over to 1 Peter and look in chapter 3 at verses 5 and 6.

1 Peter 3. Verse 5, "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Notice verse 5. "For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands." Now, having read these three passages that deal with wives, what would you say the key word for the wife is in each of these passages? Submit or submission or subjection. It is repeated over and over.

Now, therefore, let me give you the outline that I'm going to follow. And like I said, I'm only going to cover one point today. I want to discuss, and the reason I'm taking my time, is because I believe this is vitally important and there is so much misunderstanding concerning this subject. I'm going to give you, number one, the nature of submission. Then next Sunday, Lord willing, we're going to be looking at the ground of submission, the extent of submission, and the climate of submission. But today, the only point, the nature of submission.

Now look what the Bible says in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."

The Nature of Submission: Voluntary but Not Optional

Submission is to be voluntary, as the church willingly submits to Christ, yet it is a command of God and therefore not optional. Forced submission is a contradiction; a wife's refusal to submit reflects either unregeneracy or rebellion.

Now, I want you to turn back to Ephesians chapter 5, because I want to point out some elements in the nature of this submission. And please remember, once again, that submission is not dishonorable, it is not demeaning, it is not shameful. Look in verse 22, Ephesians 5, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." Now skip down to verse 24, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything." Now, first, we're talking about the nature of submission. First, it is to be a voluntary submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." And then he says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything." The whole assumption in Ephesians chapter 5 is this, that the husband has wooed and won the wife. Just like Jesus Christ has wooed and won and drawn the Christian to himself. Now, I want you to hold Ephesians chapter 5, but I want you to look back in your Bibles to John 6 and verse 44.

Look in John 6 in verse 44. There is a parallel that is given here. The wife is to be in submission to the husband as the church is to be in submission to Christ. In John 6 in verse 44, notice what the scripture says. John 6 verse 44. Our Lord says,

Scripture Reading — John 6:44

"No man can come unto me except the father who had sent me draw him and I will raise him up at the last day."

Now, how does Christ get us to Himself? By His irresistible grace and love. And He does so in such a way, listen now men, He does so in such a way that we want to be in submission to Him. He draws us. He loves us. And he works in our lives so that we want to be in submission to him more than anything else.

Now, go back to Ephesians chapter 5. I've just stated that the first point under the nature of this submission is that it is to be voluntary. But listen carefully. While it is to be voluntary, it is not optional. Why? Because it is a command given by God. When He says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands," it is a command. It is something that God gives. I pointed out the fact that this command is addressed to the renewed and the regenerated will of Christian wives. He commands Christian wives to voluntarily submit themselves unto and voluntarily, willingly delight in submission to their husbands.

Now men, I want you to watch this. Notice if you would, the scripture does not say husbands, force your wives into submission. Forced submission is an oxymoron. If it's forced, it's not submission. If it's submission, then it's not forced. Forced submission is a contradiction in terms. That's like a sober drunk. Or a Christian prostitute. I mean, come on. Contradiction in terms. An honest politician. You understand what I'm saying. It's an oxymoron. And men, please listen to this. No man can force his wife to be in submission to him, and even if he could, he would break down the parallel of the passage.

What am I talking about? Look at Ephesians 5, verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Now watch. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Does Christ force the church to be in subjection unto him? No. No.

He draws us, he woos us, he wins us, he teaches us, he helps us so that we're willingly and voluntarily submitting ourselves unto him. And that's exactly what he's saying right here. Even if you could force your wife into submission, it would be a violation of the figure and of the picture that is being presented here in Ephesians chapter 5. But let me go a little further. You see, a wife that will not willingly and voluntarily submit herself to her husband is either reflecting, number one, that she is unregenerate and unconverted, or number two, that if she is a Christian, she's in rebellion to the word of God, and certainly not right with God, for she's in violation of His will. Now, if she is unregenerate, instead of seeking to force her to be in submission, it'd be far better to pray that God would grant her repentance in faith, and that God would save her.

You know, there's one truth that I have really found out in 42 years of preaching. It's a very difficult truth to have to face and admit, but I had to face it and I had to admit it. Here it is. I can't save anybody. And there's another that goes along with it. I can't make anybody do what's right. I wished I could, but I can't. The truth is, folks, if God doesn't save us, we're not saved. And if God doesn't work in our hearts, we're not saved.

So the only thing that you can do if you have an unconverted mate, this would apply to women as well as husbands, is pray that the Lord would give them grace and live a Christian life in front of them and use every opportunity to get the Word of God before them. If a woman is a Christian and is in rebellion to the Word of God, well, let me tell you this, folks. She won't be in rebellion that long because Hebrews chapter 12 says, "As many as he loves, he does what? He chastens." Let me put it to you very bluntly. If you and I, or if anyone, can sin against God and get away with it, we don't belong to Him. He scourges every son whom he receiveth, says the Bible. And if you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the Father chastened not? If you be without chastisement, then are you bastards and not sons. So if a man can sin against God constantly and continually, if a woman can sin against God constantly and continually and get by with it in this life, apparently, then they're not a Christian. Because God hasn't worked out that we're either living a changed life or we're living a chastised life.

You remember that passage in Micah 6 and in verse 9 it is, "Hear ye the rod and him who hath appointed it?" In other words, if you don't hear the Word, then you're going to hear the rod. Now, listen to what the Bible says in Hebrews 12 and verse 11.

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 12:6-11

"Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who exercise thereby."

Now, I don't know if you felt that verse through or not, but listen to it.

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 12:6-11

"Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but it's grievous."

How many of you as a child just really loved being whipped? Nobody. I don't even like it as an adult. But you understand, when you got that chastening, it was for your good, right?

It was for your benefit. Listen to what the Bible says now. "No chastening seemed to be joyous but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards, that is, after it's over, this is when God does it. Nevertheless, it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who were exercised thereby."

Now, many times we whipped our children and it didn't take. We had to whip them again and again and again and again and again. But God doesn't have to do that. When God gets through with you, his lessons take. It yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto those who are exercised thereby.

Now, let me just give you an illustration. To underline this fact of Hebrews chapter 12, let's suppose that James is my son. And I say, "James, please go do such and such for me." And he says, "No, father, I'm not going to do it." I said, "What? Did you misunderstand me, son?" "No, dad, I didn't misunderstand you. I'm just telling you right now, I'm not going to do it." Now, let me ask you a question as his father. And wanting him to be loving and obedient and respectful and kind, am I going to just turn around and say, "Well, maybe you'll obey me next week when I ask you to do something"? What am I going to do? I'll tell you what I would do if he's my son. I would jerk him up, I would jerk a limb and I'd beat him with an inch of his life and I'd say, "Son, next time I tell you something, you say, 'Yes sir.' Do you understand?"

Why would I do that? Because I hate him? No. Because I understand the longer I allow him to go in rebellion, the further he's going to rebel and the harder it's going to be to reclaim him. You follow me? So what am I going to do? I'm going to whip him right away.

Now what is God saying? God is saying in Hebrews chapter 12, if you can sin constantly and continually and get by with it, you don't belong to him. He understands that principle just like we understand that principle. He'll jerk a knot in us.

Now, here's what it boils down to. You can ask yourself this question, wives, do you love Jesus Christ? Do you love the will of God and the Word of God? Do you want to please God? Do you want to obey Christ? Do you want to honor Christ? What if you do? Let me just quote John 14, verse 15 and verse 21. In verse 15, our Lord said,

Scripture Reading — John 14:15, 21

"If you love me, keep my commandments."

In verse 21, he says, "He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me."

Now, ladies, you've got to remember this. Submission has nothing to do with intelligence, or culture, or education, or anything else. It only has to do with the will of God. What is the will of God for your life? And the will of God is that you be in submission to your husband. A voluntary submission that God has ordained because the husband is the head of the wife. But you object and say, "But Pastor, you just don't know my husband." No, I don't. But God does, and he knew him before he ever wrote Ephesians chapter 5. You say, "But you don't understand." I may not understand, but I can read.

And the Bible says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands." Now, let me just show you. Here's the parallel. And I'm going to repeat this over and over. The picture, and I'll develop it even more next week, the picture is that the wife is representative of the church. And her submission to her husband is to represent the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. So here's what I'm going to tell you. Listen to this. Any wife who professes that she loves her husband, but she will not submit to him, it's empty talk and she doesn't really love her husband.

The Nature of Submission: Exclusive to One's Own Husband

The submission commanded is exclusive to a wife's own particular husband (Greek idios), distinct from the general deference owed to all men.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands." I like that little word, idios. It doesn't mean idiot in the Greek. The word idios means that which is peculiar to yourself. That which particularly belongs to you. Why submit yourselves to that man that particularly belongs to you?

Now, let me just say, there is indeed and in truth a submission that is to be given to all men in general. But that is different from this submission. Let me tell you what I'm talking about. In Acts chapter 16, Paul went down to the river where a women's prayer meeting was being held. Did the women there ignore Paul and just carry on? No. They say, "Well, Paul, you're here."

"You speak and you pray." You follow? That's a general deference and a general submission. If I walked into a room of women who were about to have a Bible study, and if I walked into that room and the leader, the lady who was the leader of the lady's Bible study was about to ask someone to lead in prayer, and I'm standing in the room, I expect her to ask me. Not a woman. Why? Because there's a man there. That is a general deference and a general submission. While that is true, that is not what he's talking about here in Ephesians 5 in verse 22. He's saying, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own particular husband." I could go back and ask Janet some questions or ask her to do some things for me. And she may be kind and gracious and say, "Well, Pastor, I'd be more than willing to help you." And that's fine. That is a submission to me.

But she doesn't owe me what she owes Henry. And Alice doesn't owe Henry what she owes me. It's a totally different thing. So God says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own peculiar and particular husband." OK. Thirdly, watch this. We're talking about the nature of submission. Thirdly, it is to be a religious submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."

The Nature of Submission: Religious, as unto the Lord

A wife's submission is part of her worship and submission to God; she looks beyond her husband to God who ordained the role. This principle is paralleled in the instruction to servants in Ephesians 6.

Now, let me just point out that this is a very vital point. The woman's submission to her husband is not based upon cultural mores or evolutionary development or some tyrannical standard, but it is based upon a Christian principle, "as unto the Lord." Now, let me point this out. Look at verse 22 again. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." The phrase means that since God designed and assigned this particular role in marriage to the wife, it is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband. In other words, it's primarily a matter of recognition and submission to God's sovereign authority. "As unto the Lord." In other words, the woman recognizes, look, this is part of my worship to God. This is part of my submission to God, to be in submission to my husband. I'm doing this as unto the Lord. Let me show you. Look in Ephesians 6, where he is addressing the servants, or the slaves. Notice Ephesians 6, beginning there, verse 5.

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 6:5-6

"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."

Wow. Now, what did God just tell those servants? You owe your masters obedience. But you don't obey them just because they're your masters, and just because you have to. No, no, no, no. He says you look beyond the master and you see me. Because I'm the one who said, "Servants, submit yourselves unto your masters. Obey your masters." It's the same principle in Ephesians chapter 5. When God says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," adds "as unto the Lord," He is saying you look beyond the husband and you see Me and you understand that I am the one that has ordained your role and appointed your role and part of your worship and part of your submission to Me is your submission to your husband. Now, it's important that you grasp this fact. Why?

Well, let me tell you why. Because women who are not in submission to their husbands in the biblical sense are not right with God and can't be right with God. Why? Because God demands that submission.

Now, let me show you. Wives don't get bent out of shape on this, but think about this. I can truthfully say that a wife that is not in submission to her husband is out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say that children who are not in submission to their parents are out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say husbands who are not in submission to Christ are out of the will of God. You follow me? Because it's God who's ordained the roles. And so wives then, when they recognize that part of their worship to the Lord is their submission of their husbands, it will basically revolutionize their life and their worship. Part and parcel of their submission to God and worship of God is a biblical submission to their husbands.

The Nature of Submission: Ordained by God

The husband's headship is not a result of culture or evolution but is ordained by God. Recognizing God's institution of family roles should revolutionize one's life.

Now let's ask one simple question. Help me out now. Who ordained the husband to be the head? In other words, the husband didn't beat his way to the top. It was not culture. It was not evolutionary development. It was not a democratic election. No. God ordained the man to be the head. So the family did not evolve. Culture had nothing to do with it. God says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, for the husband is the head of the wife." When you see that it was God who ordained the family, listen carefully. And that it was God who ordained each individual role in the structure of the family, it should revolutionize your life as you see what God requires of you.

Applications and Conclusion

Weaver applies the message by reminding all that everyone is called to submission in some form, that roles are inseparably joined, and that we must distinguish between equal standing and differing positions before God.

And Lord willing, I'm going to cover that in the next three points. Now let me make a couple of applications for today. Although I've dealt with the nature of submission, especially in reference to the wives, we have to remember one simple truth, and that is that we are all called to be in submission in one way or another. It is true that wives must submit to their husbands. It is equally true that children must submit to their parents. It is equally true that husbands must submit to Christ. It is equally true that servants must submit to masters. It is equally true that employees must submit to employers. Everybody's in submission. So submission is not something that's onerous. It's not something that's demeaning. It's not something that's shameful.

We just have to understand it is God who ordained the institution of the family and the roles of the family. Secondly, let me remind you of this, and I said it at the beginning, I'm saying it now, I'll say it next week. We have to remember that each of these roles are inseparably joined to their counterparts. When God says wives submit to your husbands, equally true is husbands love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. And I will say this later, it's easy for a woman to be in submission to her husband when the husband loves her as Christ loved the church. The third application of this, we've got to make sure that we understand, that we comprehend, the difference between standing and position. We all have equal standing before God. But we do not have different positions before God. Because God has instituted the man to be the head of the wife, and the husband and the wife to be the head of the children. There's positions that differ from standing.

What is the nature of submission? It's to be voluntary. But it's not optional. It's to be exclusive. It's to be religious. It's to be ordained. We must understand this comes from the hand of God. And that should be sufficient to answer our questions. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, teach us, build us up in the most holy faith. And may we understand, Lord, to some extent today the nature of submission and begin to give not only to our mates, but Lord, as a church to Thee, this voluntary, exclusive, religious and ordained submission because Thou art the head of the church and our lives are to be conformed to Thee and Thy Word. Give us grace to serve Thee acceptably with reverence and godly fear. In Thy name we pray, Amen.

Study Guide

Major Themes

God's Ordained Order in the Family

Summary: God has intentionally designed and assigned distinct roles within the family, and obedience to these roles is essential for a blessed and successful family life.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'each role has been ordained by God Himself. If you and I are to fulfill our roles, we must understand them, and as we understand them, we must obey them, and in obeying them, then we're going to have a blessed and successful family.'

The Nature of Biblical Submission

Summary: Submission for the wife is voluntary, exclusive, religious, and ordained; it is not demeaning but is a reflection of obedience to God's will.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'It is to be a voluntary submission... it is to be an exclusive submission... it is to be a religious submission... it is to be an ordained submission.'

The Analogy of Faith in Interpreting Scripture

Summary: Ephesians 5 must be interpreted in light of the whole Bible; its teachings are not isolated but are substantiated throughout Scripture.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 is organically connected to the rest of Scripture... Ephesians chapter 5 is not an isolated passage.'

Equal Standing vs. Differing Positions Before God

Summary: All believers have equal standing before God in creation dignity, natural depravity, and redemptive privileges, but God has assigned different positions and roles within the family.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'Each of us has exactly the same standing before God... But that does not mean... that we all have equal positions before God.'

The Inseparability of Family Roles

Summary: The commands to wives and husbands are inseparably joined; one cannot be properly understood or obeyed without the other.

Evidence: Weaver emphasizes, 'Each part of this passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart... the wife and the husband, the children and the parents, the servants and the masters.'

Submission as Worship to God

Summary: A wife's submission to her husband is ultimately an act of worship and submission to God, who ordained the role.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'it is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband.'

Key Arguments

Submission is not demeaning, as demonstrated by Christ's example

Summary: Jesus Christ, though fully God, submitted to His earthly parents without being demeaned or dishonored, showing that submission is about obedience to God's ordained role, not about inferiority.

Evidence: Weaver argues, 'Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no... the wife is not being demeaned or dishonored or shamed by being in submission to her husband because that is her God-ordained role.'

Submission is voluntary but not optional

Summary: While submission must be voluntary to be genuine, it is a command of God and therefore not optional for Christian wives; forced submission is a contradiction.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'While it is to be voluntary, it is not optional. Why? Because it is a command given by God... Forced submission is an oxymoron.'

A wife's refusal to submit indicates spiritual problems

Summary: A wife who will not voluntarily submit is either unregenerate or in rebellion against God; if she is a Christian, God will chasten her.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'a wife that will not willingly and voluntarily submit herself to her husband is either reflecting... that she is unregenerate and unconverted, or... if she is a Christian, she's in rebellion to the word of God.'

The husband's headship is divinely ordained, not culturally derived

Summary: The husband's role as head is not a result of cultural evolution or human effort but is directly instituted by God.

Evidence: Weaver asks, 'Who ordained the husband to be the head? ... God ordained the man to be the head. So the family did not evolve. Culture had nothing to do with it.'

Submission is primarily to God, not just to the husband

Summary: The phrase 'as unto the Lord' indicates that a wife's submission is an act of worship and obedience to God, looking beyond the husband to God's sovereign authority.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'He is saying you look beyond the husband and you see Me and you understand that I am the one that has ordained your role.'

Scripture References

Ephesians 5:21-33

Context: The primary passage for the sermon, read at the beginning, dealing with mutual submission, wives submitting to husbands, and husbands loving wives as Christ loved the church.

1 Corinthians 11

Context: Referenced in the review of previous weeks, showing God's intentional order: God, Christ, man, woman.

Genesis 2:24

Context: Cited as the Old Testament source for Ephesians 5:31, demonstrating the organic connection of Scripture.

Exodus 20:12

Context: Cited as the Old Testament source for Ephesians 6:2, 'Honor thy father and thy mother.'

Ephesians 4:1-6

Context: Read to emphasize the unity and oneness of believers in Christ, supporting the principle of equal standing before God.

Galatians 3:27-28

Context: Quoted to show that in Christ there is neither male nor female regarding standing before God, though distinctions in role remain.

Romans 5:2

Context: Mentioned in connection with our standing before God.

Colossians 3:18

Context: Read to show the command for wives to submit to their husbands as is fit in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:5-6

Context: Read to show the example of holy women of old who submitted to their husbands, including Sarah obeying Abraham.

Luke 2:48-51

Context: Read to illustrate Jesus' subjection to His parents at age 12, demonstrating that submission is not demeaning.

Matthew 1:21-23

Context: Read to affirm that Jesus was God from birth, emphasizing that His submission did not diminish His deity.

1 Timothy 3:16

Context: Quoted to support the deity of Christ: 'God was manifest in the flesh.'

John 6:44

Context: Read to illustrate how Christ draws believers to Himself by grace, paralleling how a husband should win his wife's voluntary submission.

Hebrews 12:6-11

Context: Referenced to teach that God chastens His children; a Christian in rebellion will not continue unpunished.

Micah 6:9

Context: Quoted: 'Hear ye the rod and him who hath appointed it,' indicating that if one does not hear the Word, they will hear the rod of chastening.

John 14:15, 21

Context: Quoted to show that love for Christ is demonstrated by keeping His commandments, applied to wives' submission.

Luke 6:46

Context: Quoted: 'Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say unto you,' to illustrate that profession without obedience is empty.

Acts 16

Context: Referenced as an example of general deference and submission to men in a religious setting.

Ephesians 6:5-6

Context: Read to parallel the religious nature of submission: servants obey masters as unto Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.

Important Quotes

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

Significance: This is the central command of the passage and the focus of the sermon; Weaver uses it to define the nature of submission.

Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no.

Significance: Key argument that submission does not imply inferiority, using Christ's example to refute the idea that submission is demeaning.

Forced submission is an oxymoron. If it's forced, it's not submission. If it's submission, then it's not forced.

Significance: Clarifies that biblical submission must be voluntary; husbands cannot force it without violating the biblical pattern.

Any wife who professes that she loves her husband, but she will not submit to him, it's empty talk and she doesn't really love her husband.

Significance: Draws a parallel between love for Christ evidenced by obedience and love for a husband evidenced by submission.

It is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband.

Significance: Emphasizes that submission is ultimately an act of worship to God, not merely a relational duty.

The husband didn't beat his way to the top. It was not culture. It was not evolutionary development. It was not a democratic election. No. God ordained the man to be the head.

Significance: Affirms the divine origin of male headship, countering cultural or evolutionary explanations.

Discussion Questions

How does understanding that Ephesians 5 is 'organically connected' to the rest of Scripture affect the way we interpret its commands about wives and husbands?

Context: Weaver emphasizes that the passage must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith, with its principles found throughout the Bible.

In what ways does the example of Jesus submitting to His parents challenge common assumptions about submission being demeaning or a sign of inferiority?

Context: Weaver uses Luke 2:51 to show that Christ, though fully God, submitted to His parents without loss of dignity.

What is the difference between voluntary submission and optional submission, and why is this distinction important for Christian wives?

Context: Weaver argues that submission is commanded by God and therefore not optional, yet it must be voluntary to be genuine.

How does the parallel between the church's submission to Christ and a wife's submission to her husband shape our understanding of both relationships?

Context: Weaver repeatedly points to the analogy in Ephesians 5:24, emphasizing that the wife represents the church in this picture.

What does it mean for a wife's submission to be 'religious' or 'as unto the Lord,' and how might this perspective change her daily attitude?

Context: Weaver explains that submission is part of worship to God, looking beyond the husband to God's authority.

How should husbands respond to the truth that they cannot force submission, and what is their responsibility according to the parallel in Ephesians 5?

Context: Weaver states that forced submission is an oxymoron and that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

What is the relationship between a wife's submission and her spiritual condition, according to Weaver's argument from Hebrews 12?

Context: Weaver suggests that persistent rebellion indicates either unregeneracy or impending chastening from God.

Applications

Examine your heart regarding submission to God-ordained authority

Summary: Wives should evaluate whether their submission to their husbands is voluntary, exclusive, religious, and ordained, recognizing it as part of their worship to God.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'part of your worship and part of your submission to Me is your submission to your husband.'

Husbands should not force submission but win it through love

Summary: Men are cautioned that forced submission violates the biblical pattern; instead, they should love their wives as Christ loved the church, drawing voluntary submission.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'No man can force his wife to be in submission to him, and even if he could, he would break down the parallel of the passage.'

Recognize the inseparability of family roles

Summary: Both husbands and wives must understand that their roles are interconnected; a wife's submission is linked to the husband's Christ-like love, and vice versa.

Evidence: Weaver emphasizes, 'Each part of this passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart.'

Respond to rebellion with prayer and the Word, not force

Summary: If a spouse is unsubmissive, the biblical response is prayer, living a godly example, and presenting God's Word, trusting God to work in their heart.

Evidence: Weaver advises, 'if you have an unconverted mate... pray that the Lord would give them grace and live a Christian life in front of them and use every opportunity to get the Word of God before them.'

Distinguish between equal standing and differing positions

Summary: Believers should embrace their God-given roles without confusion, knowing that equal standing before God does not negate the distinct positions He has ordained.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'We have to make sure that we understand, that we comprehend, the difference between standing and position.'

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T13:53:19Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T01:34:50Z

Clean Transcript

The Family - Part 5

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

Ephesians 5, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
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This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence the husband.
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Now, we've been looking at the biblical doctrine of the family for several weeks. We've looked at the dominion aspect of the family, and I shared with you and showed you how the dominion aspect not only teaches responsibility and stewardship, but it also involves authority as well, and how God has ordained the family to be an instrument of dominion. Then we looked at the creation differences between men and women. And I showed you how that God had purposely, deliberately made these differences, especially how that men and women differ, especially pointed out in relationship to the women. They not only differ physically, but judgmentally, and of course, emotionally. And then last week, we looked at God's intentional order. And I showed you how in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, God has ordained that God, Christ, man, and woman. And I went through the Bible and showed you over and over where the Bible emphasized the fact that God created Adam first. And so there was an intentional order in creation which results in an intentional order in the home and an intentional order in society.
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Now, today I want to come to begin the part on the distinctive roles that God has assigned to the wives, to the husbands, and to the children. I'm going to take the role of a wife first, because that's the way it appears in Scripture. Now, let me just simply point out the fact, by way of introduction, that each role has been ordained by God Himself. If you and I are to fulfill our roles, we must understand them, and as we understand them, we must obey them, and in obeying them, then we're going to have a blessed and successful family. It does not take much discernment to look around in our day and time and realize that families are falling apart in America.
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Very few homes are happy homes. Very few homes are fulfilling and spiritual homes. And I could go further. I could say this. The average home is usually a living hell on earth. It ought not to be that way. It should not be that way. But it is that way because of our rebellion toward God. And may I point out that when you're talking about the family, rebellion does not necessarily have to occur only in the children. Rebellion can also occur in the wife. It can also occur in the husband and the father as well. And so the word of God then condemns and forbids all types of rebellion. It doesn't matter if we're talking about rebellious children, or tyrannical and henpecked husbands, or unsubmissive wives, or any combination thereof. All are condemned by God.
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Now, as we look in Ephesians chapter 5, I want to give you just several introductory principles. And let me just say that originally, I had planned on dealing with the role of the wife this Sunday and the role of the husband next Sunday. But as I was preparing, I realized I'm never ever going to finish the role of the wife in one message. So out of the four points I have, I'm only going to cover one today. The next three will come next week, and then when I return from the mission trip out west, then I'll pick up with the role of the husband. But I want you to please understand these four principles. We're talking about Ephesians chapter 5. So here's number one.
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First, the whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith. The whole of this passage is to be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.
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Now, what I mean by that statement is this, that everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 is organically connected to the rest of Scripture. Everything that you find in Ephesians chapter 5 may be substantiated through a multitude of scriptures throughout the entirety of the Bible. So let me emphasize this, that Ephesians chapter 5 is not an isolated passage. You cannot say that in Ephesians chapter 5, Paul just simply got upset with the feminist movement in his day and therefore he's going to straighten it out. No, no, no, no. The principles taught in Ephesians chapter 5 are taught throughout the Bible. For instance, when you look at Ephesians 5 and verse 31, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife."
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They two shall be one flesh. That may be found in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24. When you come to Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 2, "Honor thy father and thy mother," that may be found in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12. In other words, I don't care what passage you take from Ephesians chapter 5 and 6, because actually Paul continues his argument in chapter 6 as well, but whatever passage you take, it may be substantiated throughout the rest of Scripture. So very obviously then, if you are upset with what Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter 5, you're not just upset with Paul. You're upset with all the apostles and prophets in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and you're primarily upset with God because God is the one who gave his word. So the very first thing that you've got to understand is that this passage is organically connected to the entirety of Scripture, and it must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.
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The second principle is this. The whole of this passage, the whole of Ephesians chapter 5 and 6 really, because Paul continues there, the whole of this passage is to be understood in the perspective of our oneness and our wholeness and our completeness in Jesus Christ.
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Now, what do I mean by that? Here's what I mean. Each of us has exactly the same standing before God. I don't care if it's a husband. I don't care if it's a wife. I don't care if it's a child. I don't care if it's a servant. I don't care if it's a master. Each of us has the exact same standing. Each one has the exact same standing before God.
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For instance, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4. Beginning there with verse 1. Ephesians 4. "I therefore the prisoner of the Lord beseech you that you walk worthy of the vocation wherewith you are called, with all lowliness and meekness and longsuffering, forbearing one another in love. Now look, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace, there is one body and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in you all." Now, if you were to turn in your Bibles back to Galatians chapter 3, and look if you would please at verses 27 and 28. Galatians 3 verses 27 and 28.
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Here the Apostle Paul says, "For as many of you have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ." Then he makes this statement, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ." Now, please understand what the Apostle Paul is saying. Paul is not saying that when you were converted, there are no longer any distinctions between the sexes or there are no longer any distinction between the races. That is not what he's saying. Very obviously, I'm thankful that when my wife and I were converted, she remained a woman and I remained a man. But what he is saying is this, there is no distinction in the standing that we have before God. Each of us have an equal footing before God. That's why the Bible talks about our standing in Romans 5 in verse 2. And each of us, men, women, children, servants, masters, have an equal standing before God in three ways. Number one, creation dignity. That is, we're all created in the image of God.
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Number two, natural depravity. That is, each of us are sinners. And number three, redemptive privileges. That is, we may all be redeemed by the grace of God. So, we have an equal standing before God. But that does not mean, which I'm going to point out later, that we all have equal positions before God. There's a vast difference between standing and position. The third principle is this. The whole of this passage, Ephesians chapter 5, is distinctively Christian. By that, I mean this. That this passage relates to Christians and to Christian desires and Christian motives. Unless one is a Christian, he will think that this passage is absolute nonsense. A non-Christian cannot see the wonder and the beauty and the wisdom of the will of God that is revealed here. The Apostle Paul, like I pointed out, continues his teaching in chapter 6 where children and parents and masters and slaves all are admonished. But each one is admonished from a Christian perspective. So when God admonishes the wife, in Ephesians chapter 5, He is appealing to a Christian wife, and with Christian motives.
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When He admonishes the husband, He is appealing to a Christian husband, with Christian motives. And likewise to children, and likewise to servants, and likewise to the masters. Here's the fourth point, and that is this. Each part of this passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart. Just because I'm going to be dealing with wives today and next Sunday, men don't sit back and say, "Not a boy preacher, you tell them." Because your part is inseparably joined to her part. It is true that God commands the wives to submit to their husbands. But it is equally true God commands the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. It is equally true that children are to submit to their parents. But God also commands you parents, especially the fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. It is true that the servants or the slaves are to be obedient to their masters. But God also commands the masters not to forget that they have a master who is in heaven who will judge them according to their actions.
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So each part then is inseparably joined to its counterpart. So although I'm trying to separate these in order that we may see the individual roles, please understand that each of these go together, the wife and the husband, the children and the parents, the servants and the masters.
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Now, women, gentlemen, look in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5, and I want you to help me out. I want to turn to two other passages, and I want you to see if you can pick out from Scripture the key word for the wife. Look in Ephesians 5, verse 21, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Look, if you would, in the book of Colossians over just a few pages. Colossians 3 verse 18. Notice what the scripture says. Colossians 3 verse 18. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord." Then if you would turn right on over to 1 Peter and look in chapter 3 at verses 5 and 6.
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1 Peter 3. Verse 5, "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Notice verse 5. "For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands."
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Now, having read these three passages that deal with wives, what would you say the key word for the wife is in each of these passages? Submit or submission or subjection. It is repeated over and over.
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Now, therefore, let me give you the outline that I'm going to follow. And like I said, I'm only going to cover one point today. I want to discuss, and the reason I'm taking my time, is because I believe this is vitally important and there is so much misunderstanding concerning this subject. I'm going to give you, number one, the nature of submission. Then next Sunday, Lord willing, we're going to be looking at the ground of submission, the extent of submission, and the climate of submission. But today, the only point, the nature of submission.
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Now look what the Bible says in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."
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Now the word submission is usually a hated and despised and oftentimes a misunderstood word. The word for submit here is the Greek word hupotasso, which is translated in our Bibles as put under, be subject to, to submit oneself unto, to be in subjection unto, and to put under subjection. The word actually means to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject, to be in subjection, to obey, to submit to one's control, and to yield to one's admonition and advice. It's interesting that the Greek word hupotasso is actually a Greek military term. How about that? It had to deal with the arrangement of troops in a military fashion under a commander or leader.
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In non-military usage, it came to mean a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. Now, what I want to do is this. I want to show you several passages where this word, submit, is found in Scripture. I want you to turn in your Bibles, hold Ephesians chapter 5, but turn in your Bibles to Luke chapter 2. I think this one passage would really explain this word more than all of my delineation of Greek terms and definitions. But look in Luke chapter 2.
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Most of you would know the story how our Lord went with his parents up to Jerusalem for the feast. And of course, when they left, they assumed that he was somehow with the family. And when they got down the road, they found out he wasn't there. And when they went back, they saw him, and there he was in the temple teaching and hearing and answering questions to all of those leaders.
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Well, if you look in Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, they take Christ, who is now 12 years old. In fact, let's begin reading the verse 48, just so that you can see the context of it. "And when they saw him, they were amazed. And his mother said of him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said of them, How is it that you sought me?"
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"Wished you not that I must be about my father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them, and he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them. But his mother kept all these sayings in her heart." Remember, the word subject in verse 51 is exactly the same that is translated as submit in Ephesians chapter 5. The Bible says that Jesus Christ went down to Nazareth and was subject unto them. What does it mean when the Bible says that Jesus Christ was subject unto his parents? It simply means this, that Christ performed the duty of a faithful and an obedient child in every respect. He obeyed. He honored. He helped. He worked with his parents.
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He submitted to their demands and to their wishes. Now, let me ask you a question. At this particular time, our Lord was 12 years of age. Here's my question. Was Jesus Christ God when he was a boy? Well, of course he was. If you say, well, no, he wasn't God when he was a boy, then you've got to answer the question, when then did he become God? And how did he become God? Well, you see, the Scripture teaches that Jesus Christ was God even before he was born. And when he was born, he was still God.
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Look in your Bible, since you're in Luke 2, turn back to Matthew chapter 1. Matthew chapter 1, and notice if you would, verses 21 through 23. Matthew chapter 1, beginning there with verse 21. Notice what the Bible says, and the angel is talking to Mary, the mother of our Lord. And he tells her in Matthew 1 verse 21, "And she shall," actually he's talking to Joseph, "and she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled, which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted as what? God with us." So yes, Jesus Christ was God when He was a boy. He was God before He was born. He was God after He was born. There never has been a time when Jesus Christ was not God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 3, verse 16, "And without all controversy, great is the mystery of godliness, God was manifest in the flesh."
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So when Jesus Christ was born in the flesh, He was God. Now for the important question and the one that relates to our subject. Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no. Was he demeaned? Was he dishonored? Was he shamed in any way by being in subjection to his parents? No. You know what Jesus Christ did when his parents came back and said, "Son, come on home with us."
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He probably said, "Yes ma'am." And he went down and was in subjection unto them. What was Jesus Christ doing? He was assuming the proper role of a child in the structure of the family. Had he not assumed that role as a child, had he acted in any other way, it would have been rebellion to the Word of God. We've got to learn something right here, that true liberty is only found in obedience to the will and the word of God. Jesus Christ went back and was in subjection to his parents.
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Now, I want you to consider this and let me make an application. When the Bible says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands," is it therefore demeaning, dishonorable, and shameful for a wife to be in submission to her husband? The answer is no. Just like Jesus Christ was assuming his God-ordained role in the family as a child by being in submission to his parents, the wife is not being demeaned or dishonored or shamed by being in submission to her husband because that is her God-ordained role.
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Now, let me ask some questions and ladies, I want you to pay particular attention. Was Christ wiser than his parents? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Did he have more knowledge and understanding than his parents? Yes, he did. Was he smarter? Yes, he was. Now, here's what I want to point out. Submission does not have anything to do with education. It does not have anything to do with brains and smarts.
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It has to do with obedience to the will of God. Let me ask another question. Ladies, think about this. Did Christ have greater ability than his parents? The answer is yes. He created the world and everything therein. The point I want you to see is, once again, it's not a matter of education, it's not a matter of ability, it's not a matter of IQ, it's not a matter of culture, it's not a matter of anything else other than just simple obedience. So the Bible says that Jesus Christ went down and was subject to his parents. Why?
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Because that was God's ordained role for the child. Had he done anything else, it would have been considered rebellion. What is God's ordained role for the wife? It is that of submission to her husband.
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Now, I want you to turn back to Ephesians chapter 5, because I want to point out some elements in the nature of this submission. And please remember, once again, that submission is not dishonorable, it is not demeaning, it is not shameful. Look in verse 22, Ephesians 5, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." Now skip down to verse 24, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything." Now, first, we're talking about the nature of submission. First, it is to be a voluntary submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." And then he says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything." The whole assumption in Ephesians chapter 5 is this, that the husband has wooed and won the wife. Just like Jesus Christ has wooed and won and drawn the Christian to himself. Now, I want you to hold Ephesians chapter 5, but I want you to look back in your Bibles to John 6 and verse 44.
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Look in John 6 in verse 44. There is a parallel that is given here. The wife is to be in submission to the husband as the church is to be in submission to Christ. In John 6 in verse 44, notice what the scripture says. John 6 verse 44. Our Lord says, "No man can come unto me except the father who had sent me draw him and I will raise him up at the last day."
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Now, how does Christ get us to Himself? By His irresistible grace and love. And He does so in such a way, listen now men, He does so in such a way that we want to be in submission to Him. He draws us. He loves us. And he works in our lives so that we want to be in submission to him more than anything else.
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Now, go back to Ephesians chapter 5. I've just stated that the first point under the nature of this submission is that it is to be voluntary. But listen carefully. While it is to be voluntary, it is not optional. Why? Because it is a command given by God. When He says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands," it is a command. It is something that God gives. I pointed out the fact that this command is addressed to the renewed and the regenerated will of Christian wives. He commands Christian wives to voluntarily submit themselves unto and voluntarily, willingly delight in submission to their husbands.
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Now men, I want you to watch this. Notice if you would, the scripture does not say husbands, force your wives into submission. Forced submission is an oxymoron. If it's forced, it's not submission. If it's submission, then it's not forced. Forced submission is a contradiction in terms. That's like a sober drunk. Or a Christian prostitute. I mean, come on. Contradiction in terms. An honest politician. You understand what I'm saying. It's an oxymoron. And men, please listen to this. No man can force his wife to be in submission to him, and even if he could, he would break down the parallel of the passage.
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What am I talking about? Look at Ephesians 5, verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Now watch. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Does Christ force the church to be in subjection unto him? No. No.
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He draws us, he woos us, he wins us, he teaches us, he helps us so that we're willingly and voluntarily submitting ourselves unto him. And that's exactly what he's saying right here. Even if you could force your wife into submission, it would be a violation of the figure and of the picture that is being presented here in Ephesians chapter 5. But let me go a little further. You see, a wife that will not willingly and voluntarily submit herself to her husband is either reflecting, number one, that she is unregenerate and unconverted, or number two, that if she is a Christian, she's in rebellion to the word of God, and certainly not right with God, for she's in violation of His will. Now, if she is unregenerate, instead of seeking to force her to be in submission, it'd be far better to pray that God would grant her repentance in faith, and that God would save her.
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You know, there's one truth that I have really found out in 42 years of preaching. It's a very difficult truth to have to face and admit, but I had to face it and I had to admit it. Here it is. I can't save anybody. And there's another that goes along with it. I can't make anybody do what's right. I wished I could, but I can't. The truth is, folks, if God doesn't save us, we're not saved. And if God doesn't work in our hearts, we're not saved.
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So the only thing that you can do if you have an unconverted mate, this would apply to women as well as husbands, is pray that the Lord would give them grace and live a Christian life in front of them and use every opportunity to get the Word of God before them. If a woman is a Christian and is in rebellion to the Word of God, well, let me tell you this, folks. She won't be in rebellion that long because Hebrews chapter 12 says, "As many as he loves, he does what? He chastens."
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Let me put it to you very bluntly. If you and I, or if anyone, can sin against God and get away with it, we don't belong to Him. He scourges every son whom he receiveth, says the Bible. And if you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the Father chastened not? If you be without chastisement, then are you bastards and not sons. So if a man can sin against God constantly and continually, if a woman can sin against God constantly and continually and get by with it in this life, apparently, then they're not a Christian. Because God hasn't worked out that we're either living a changed life or we're living a chastised life.
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You remember that passage in Micah 6 and in verse 9 it is, "Hear ye the rod and him who hath appointed it?" In other words, if you don't hear the Word, then you're going to hear the rod.
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Now, listen to what the Bible says in Hebrews 12 and verse 11. "Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who exercise thereby." Now, I don't know if you felt that verse through or not, but listen to it. "Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but it's grievous." How many of you as a child just really loved being whipped? Nobody. I don't even like it as an adult. But you understand, when you got that chastening, it was for your good, right?
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It was for your benefit. Listen to what the Bible says now. "No chastening seemed to be joyous but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards, that is, after it's over, this is when God does it. Nevertheless, it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who were exercised thereby."
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Now, many times we whipped our children and it didn't take. We had to whip them again and again and again and again and again. But God doesn't have to do that. When God gets through with you, his lessons take. It yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto those who are exercised thereby.
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Now, let me just give you an illustration. To underline this fact of Hebrews chapter 12, let's suppose that James is my son. And I say, "James, please go do such and such for me." And he says, "No, father, I'm not going to do it." I said, "What? Did you misunderstand me, son?" "No, dad, I didn't misunderstand you. I'm just telling you right now, I'm not going to do it." Now, let me ask you a question as his father. And wanting him to be loving and obedient and respectful and kind, am I going to just turn around and say, "Well, maybe you'll obey me next week when I ask you to do something"? What am I going to do? I'll tell you what I would do if he's my son. I would jerk him up, I would jerk a limb and I'd beat him with an inch of his life and I'd say, "Son, next time I tell you something, you say, 'Yes sir.' Do you understand?"
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Why would I do that? Because I hate him? No. Because I understand the longer I allow him to go in rebellion, the further he's going to rebel and the harder it's going to be to reclaim him. You follow me? So what am I going to do? I'm going to whip him right away.
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Now what is God saying? God is saying in Hebrews chapter 12, if you can sin constantly and continually and get by with it, you don't belong to him. He understands that principle just like we understand that principle. He'll jerk a knot in us.
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Now, here's what it boils down to. You can ask yourself this question, wives, do you love Jesus Christ? Do you love the will of God and the Word of God? Do you want to please God? Do you want to obey Christ? Do you want to honor Christ? What if you do? Let me just quote John 14, verse 15 and verse 21. In verse 15, our Lord said, "If you love me, keep my commandments." In verse 21, he says, "He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me."
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Now, ladies, you've got to remember this. Submission has nothing to do with intelligence, or culture, or education, or anything else. It only has to do with the will of God. What is the will of God for your life? And the will of God is that you be in submission to your husband. A voluntary submission that God has ordained because the husband is the head of the wife. But you object and say, "But Pastor, you just don't know my husband." No, I don't. But God does, and he knew him before he ever wrote Ephesians chapter 5. You say, "But you don't understand." I may not understand, but I can read.
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And the Bible says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands." Now, let me just show you. Here's the parallel. And I'm going to repeat this over and over. The picture, and I'll develop it even more next week, the picture is that the wife is representative of the church. And her submission to her husband is to represent the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. So here's what I'm going to tell you. Listen to this. Any wife who professes that she loves her husband, but she will not submit to him, it's empty talk and she doesn't really love her husband.
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How can I say that? Here's how I can say that. Any Christian who professes to love Jesus Christ, but he will not submit to him and will not obey him, it's empty talk. He doesn't really love Christ. You remember what our Lord said in Luke 6 in verse 46? "Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say unto you." In other words, the proof that we love Christ is we keep his commandments. "If you love me, keep my commandments." So it is. It is unreal to even try to imagine that here's someone that can be a real genuine Christian and not be in submission to Christ. Because if a man loves Christ, he's going to submit to him. Likewise, if a woman loves her husband and, of course, she loves Christ, she's going to submit to her husband because the parallel is the woman's role represents the role of the church in submission to Christ. So, it is to be a voluntary submission. Secondly, look in your Bibles, in Ephesians 5 and verse 22, it is to be an exclusive submission.
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"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands." I like that little word, idios. It doesn't mean idiot in the Greek. The word idios means that which is peculiar to yourself. That which particularly belongs to you. Why submit yourselves to that man that particularly belongs to you?
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Now, let me just say, there is indeed and in truth a submission that is to be given to all men in general. But that is different from this submission. Let me tell you what I'm talking about. In Acts chapter 16, Paul went down to the river where a women's prayer meeting was being held. Did the women there ignore Paul and just carry on? No. They say, "Well, Paul, you're here."
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"You speak and you pray." You follow? That's a general deference and a general submission. If I walked into a room of women who were about to have a Bible study, and if I walked into that room and the leader, the lady who was the leader of the lady's Bible study was about to ask someone to lead in prayer, and I'm standing in the room, I expect her to ask me. Not a woman. Why?
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Because there's a man there. That is a general deference and a general submission. While that is true, that is not what he's talking about here in Ephesians 5 in verse 22. He's saying, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own particular husband." I could go back and ask Janet some questions or ask her to do some things for me. And she may be kind and gracious and say, "Well, Pastor, I'd be more than willing to help you." And that's fine. That is a submission to me.
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But she doesn't owe me what she owes Henry. And Alice doesn't owe Henry what she owes me. It's a totally different thing. So God says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own peculiar and particular husband." OK. Thirdly, watch this. We're talking about the nature of submission. Thirdly, it is to be a religious submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."
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Now, let me just point out that this is a very vital point. The woman's submission to her husband is not based upon cultural mores or evolutionary development or some tyrannical standard, but it is based upon a Christian principle, "as unto the Lord." Now, let me point this out. Look at verse 22 again. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." The phrase means that since God designed and assigned this particular role in marriage to the wife, it is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband. In other words, it's primarily a matter of recognition and submission to God's sovereign authority. "As unto the Lord." In other words, the woman recognizes, look, this is part of my worship to God. This is part of my submission to God, to be in submission to my husband. I'm doing this as unto the Lord. Let me show you. Look in Ephesians 6, where he is addressing the servants, or the slaves. Notice Ephesians 6, beginning there, verse 5.
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"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart." Wow. Now, what did God just tell those servants? You owe your masters obedience. But you don't obey them just because they're your masters, and just because you have to. No, no, no, no.
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He says you look beyond the master and you see me. Because I'm the one who said, "Servants, submit yourselves unto your masters. Obey your masters." It's the same principle in Ephesians chapter 5. When God says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," adds "as unto the Lord," He is saying you look beyond the husband and you see Me and you understand that I am the one that has ordained your role and appointed your role and part of your worship and part of your submission to Me is your submission to your husband. Now, it's important that you grasp this fact. Why?
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Well, let me tell you why. Because women who are not in submission to their husbands in the biblical sense are not right with God and can't be right with God. Why? Because God demands that submission.
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Now, let me show you. Wives don't get bent out of shape on this, but think about this. I can truthfully say that a wife that is not in submission to her husband is out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say that children who are not in submission to their parents are out of the will of God. Just like I can truthfully say husbands who are not in submission to Christ are out of the will of God. You follow me? Because it's God who's ordained the roles. And so wives then, when they recognize that part of their worship to the Lord is their submission of their husbands, it will basically revolutionize their life and their worship. Part and parcel of their submission to God and worship of God is a biblical submission to their husbands.
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Fourthly, look if you would in verse 23. Let's read verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife." Fourthly, it is to be an ordained submission. "For the husband is the head of the wife."
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Now let's ask one simple question. Help me out now. Who ordained the husband to be the head? In other words, the husband didn't beat his way to the top. It was not culture. It was not evolutionary development. It was not a democratic election. No. God ordained the man to be the head. So the family did not evolve. Culture had nothing to do with it. God says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, for the husband is the head of the wife." When you see that it was God who ordained the family, listen carefully. And that it was God who ordained each individual role in the structure of the family, it should revolutionize your life as you see what God requires of you.
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And Lord willing, I'm going to cover that in the next three points. Now let me make a couple of applications for today. Although I've dealt with the nature of submission, especially in reference to the wives, we have to remember one simple truth, and that is that we are all called to be in submission in one way or another. It is true that wives must submit to their husbands. It is equally true that children must submit to their parents. It is equally true that husbands must submit to Christ. It is equally true that servants must submit to masters. It is equally true that employees must submit to employers. Everybody's in submission. So submission is not something that's onerous. It's not something that's demeaning. It's not something that's shameful.
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We just have to understand it is God who ordained the institution of the family and the roles of the family. Secondly, let me remind you of this, and I said it at the beginning, I'm saying it now, I'll say it next week. We have to remember that each of these roles are inseparably joined to their counterparts. When God says wives submit to your husbands, equally true is husbands love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. And I will say this later, it's easy for a woman to be in submission to her husband when the husband loves her as Christ loved the church. The third application of this, we've got to make sure that we understand, that we comprehend, the difference between standing and position. We all have equal standing before God. But we do not have different positions before God. Because God has instituted the man to be the head of the wife, and the husband and the wife to be the head of the children. There's positions that differ from standing.
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What is the nature of submission? It's to be voluntary. But it's not optional. It's to be exclusive. It's to be religious. It's to be ordained. We must understand this comes from the hand of God. And that should be sufficient to answer our questions. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, teach us, build us up in the most holy faith. And may we understand, Lord, to some extent today the nature of submission and begin to give not only to our mates, but Lord, as a church to Thee, this voluntary, exclusive, religious and ordained submission because Thou art the head of the church and our lives are to be conformed to Thee and Thy Word. Give us grace to serve Thee acceptably with reverence and godly fear. In Thy name we pray, Amen.
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This program was produced by Dominion Ministry. For more information about Pastor Weaver's sermons, you may contact Dominion Ministry by mail at 7400 Abercorn, that's A-B-E-R-C-O-R-N, Street, Suite 705, P-M-B 175, Savannah, Georgia, 31406. Or give us a call at 912-925-7000.
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You can also visit our website at www.dominionministry.com
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T13:53:19Z

The Family - Part 5

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

In this sermon, John Weaver begins a detailed examination of the distinctive roles God has assigned within the family, focusing first on the wife's role of submission. He establishes four introductory principles for interpreting Ephesians 5: the passage must be understood in light of the whole of Scripture, in the perspective of our oneness in Christ, as distinctively Christian, and as inseparably joined to its counterpart (the husband's role). The main point covered is the nature of submission, which is voluntary yet not optional, exclusive to one's own husband, religious (as unto the Lord), and ordained by God. Weaver uses the example of Jesus' subjection to His parents to illustrate that submission is not demeaning but is obedience to God's ordained order.

Opening

Ephesians 5,

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:21-33

submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Introduction: Distinctive Roles in the Family

Four Introductory Principles for Ephesians 5

Scripture Reading — Genesis 2:24

They two shall be one flesh. That may be found in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24. When you come to Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 2, "Honor thy father and thy mother," that may be found in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12. In other words, I don't care what passage you take from Ephesians chapter 5 and 6, because actually Paul continues his argument in chapter 6 as well, but whatever passage you take, it may be substantiated throughout the rest of Scripture. So very obviously then, if you are upset with what Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter 5, you're not just upset with Paul. You're upset with all the apostles and prophets in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and you're primarily upset with God because God is the one who gave his word. So the very first thing that you've got to understand is that this passage is organically connected to the entirety of Scripture, and it must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith.

Scripture Reading — Galatians 3:27-28

"For as many of you have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ."

Then he makes this statement,

Scripture Reading — Galatians 3:27-28

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ."

The Key Word for the Wife: Submission

Now look what the Bible says in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."

The Nature of Submission: Voluntary but Not Optional

Scripture Reading — John 6:44

"No man can come unto me except the father who had sent me draw him and I will raise him up at the last day."

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 12:6-11

"Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth a peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who exercise thereby."

Now, I don't know if you felt that verse through or not, but listen to it.

Scripture Reading — Hebrews 12:6-11

"Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but it's grievous."

How many of you as a child just really loved being whipped? Nobody. I don't even like it as an adult. But you understand, when you got that chastening, it was for your good, right?

Scripture Reading — John 14:15, 21

"If you love me, keep my commandments."

In verse 21, he says, "He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me."

The Nature of Submission: Exclusive to One's Own Husband

The submission commanded is exclusive to a wife's own particular husband (Greek idios), distinct from the general deference owed to all men.

The Nature of Submission: Religious, as unto the Lord

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 6:5-6

"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."

The Nature of Submission: Ordained by God

The husband's headship is not a result of culture or evolution but is ordained by God. Recognizing God's institution of family roles should revolutionize one's life.

Applications and Conclusion

The Family - Part 5

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	1110711202610
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-09-23
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 5
Source Timed Segments	72

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction: Distinctive Roles in the Family: Weaver introduces the topic of God-assigned roles for wives, husbands, and children, emphasizing that understanding and obeying these roles leads to a blessed family, while rebellion leads to brokenness.
Four Introductory Principles for Ephesians 5: Weaver presents four principles: the passage must be interpreted by the analogy of faith, understood in light of our oneness in Christ, seen as distinctively Christian, and recognized as inseparably joined to its counterpart.
The Key Word for the Wife: Submission: By examining Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3, Weaver identifies 'submit' or 'subjection' as the key word for wives, and outlines the four aspects he will cover: nature, ground, extent, and climate of submission.
The Nature of Submission: Voluntary but Not Optional: Submission is to be voluntary, as the church willingly submits to Christ, yet it is a command of God and therefore not optional. Forced submission is a contradiction; a wife's refusal to submit reflects either unregeneracy or rebellion.
The Nature of Submission: Exclusive to One's Own Husband: The submission commanded is exclusive to a wife's own particular husband (Greek idios), distinct from the general deference owed to all men.
The Nature of Submission: Religious, as unto the Lord: A wife's submission is part of her worship and submission to God; she looks beyond her husband to God who ordained the role. This principle is paralleled in the instruction to servants in Ephesians 6.
The Nature of Submission: Ordained by God: The husband's headship is not a result of culture or evolution but is ordained by God. Recognizing God's institution of family roles should revolutionize one's life.
Applications and Conclusion: Weaver applies the message by reminding all that everyone is called to submission in some form, that roles are inseparably joined, and that we must distinguish between equal standing and differing positions before God.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

Submission is not demeaning, as demonstrated by Christ's example

Jesus Christ, though fully God, submitted to His earthly parents without being demeaned or dishonored, showing that submission is about obedience to God's ordained role, not about inferiority.

Weaver argues, 'Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no... the wife is not being demeaned or dishonored or shamed by being in submission to her husband because that is her God-ordained role.'

Submission is voluntary but not optional

While submission must be voluntary to be genuine, it is a command of God and therefore not optional for Christian wives; forced submission is a contradiction.

Weaver states, 'While it is to be voluntary, it is not optional. Why? Because it is a command given by God... Forced submission is an oxymoron.'

A wife's refusal to submit indicates spiritual problems

A wife who will not voluntarily submit is either unregenerate or in rebellion against God; if she is a Christian, God will chasten her.

Weaver says, 'a wife that will not willingly and voluntarily submit herself to her husband is either reflecting... that she is unregenerate and unconverted, or... if she is a Christian, she's in rebellion to the word of God.'

The husband's headship is divinely ordained, not culturally derived

The husband's role as head is not a result of cultural evolution or human effort but is directly instituted by God.

Weaver asks, 'Who ordained the husband to be the head? ... God ordained the man to be the head. So the family did not evolve. Culture had nothing to do with it.'

Submission is primarily to God, not just to the husband

The phrase 'as unto the Lord' indicates that a wife's submission is an act of worship and obedience to God, looking beyond the husband to God's sovereign authority.

Weaver explains, 'He is saying you look beyond the husband and you see Me and you understand that I am the one that has ordained your role.'

Scripture References

Ephesians 5:21-33: The primary passage for the sermon, read at the beginning, dealing with mutual submission, wives submitting to husbands, and husbands loving wives as Christ loved the church.
1 Corinthians 11: Referenced in the review of previous weeks, showing God's intentional order: God, Christ, man, woman.
Genesis 2:24: Cited as the Old Testament source for Ephesians 5:31, demonstrating the organic connection of Scripture.
Exodus 20:12: Cited as the Old Testament source for Ephesians 6:2, 'Honor thy father and thy mother.'
Ephesians 4:1-6: Read to emphasize the unity and oneness of believers in Christ, supporting the principle of equal standing before God.
Galatians 3:27-28: Quoted to show that in Christ there is neither male nor female regarding standing before God, though distinctions in role remain.
Romans 5:2: Mentioned in connection with our standing before God.
Colossians 3:18: Read to show the command for wives to submit to their husbands as is fit in the Lord.
1 Peter 3:5-6: Read to show the example of holy women of old who submitted to their husbands, including Sarah obeying Abraham.
Luke 2:48-51: Read to illustrate Jesus' subjection to His parents at age 12, demonstrating that submission is not demeaning.
Matthew 1:21-23: Read to affirm that Jesus was God from birth, emphasizing that His submission did not diminish His deity.
1 Timothy 3:16: Quoted to support the deity of Christ: 'God was manifest in the flesh.'
John 6:44: Read to illustrate how Christ draws believers to Himself by grace, paralleling how a husband should win his wife's voluntary submission.
Hebrews 12:6-11: Referenced to teach that God chastens His children; a Christian in rebellion will not continue unpunished.
Micah 6:9: Quoted: 'Hear ye the rod and him who hath appointed it,' indicating that if one does not hear the Word, they will hear the rod of chastening.
John 14:15, 21: Quoted to show that love for Christ is demonstrated by keeping His commandments, applied to wives' submission.
Luke 6:46: Quoted: 'Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say unto you,' to illustrate that profession without obedience is empty.
Acts 16: Referenced as an example of general deference and submission to men in a religious setting.
Ephesians 6:5-6: Read to parallel the religious nature of submission: servants obey masters as unto Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.

Important Quotes

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

This is the central command of the passage and the focus of the sermon; Weaver uses it to define the nature of submission.

Was Jesus Christ any less God because he was in subjection to his parents? And the answer is no.

Key argument that submission does not imply inferiority, using Christ's example to refute the idea that submission is demeaning.

Forced submission is an oxymoron. If it's forced, it's not submission. If it's submission, then it's not forced.

Clarifies that biblical submission must be voluntary; husbands cannot force it without violating the biblical pattern.

Any wife who professes that she loves her husband, but she will not submit to him, it's empty talk and she doesn't really love her husband.

Draws a parallel between love for Christ evidenced by obedience and love for a husband evidenced by submission.

It is part and parcel of her worship and submission to Him, to God, to be in submission to her husband.

Emphasizes that submission is ultimately an act of worship to God, not merely a relational duty.

The husband didn't beat his way to the top. It was not culture. It was not evolutionary development. It was not a democratic election. No. God ordained the man to be the head.

Affirms the divine origin of male headship, countering cultural or evolutionary explanations.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

How does understanding that Ephesians 5 is 'organically connected' to the rest of Scripture affect the way we interpret its commands about wives and husbands?

[Context]

Weaver emphasizes that the passage must be interpreted in light of the analogy of faith, with its principles found throughout the Bible.

[Question]

In what ways does the example of Jesus submitting to His parents challenge common assumptions about submission being demeaning or a sign of inferiority?

[Context]

Weaver uses Luke 2:51 to show that Christ, though fully God, submitted to His parents without loss of dignity.

[Question]

What is the difference between voluntary submission and optional submission, and why is this distinction important for Christian wives?

[Context]

Weaver argues that submission is commanded by God and therefore not optional, yet it must be voluntary to be genuine.

[Question]

How does the parallel between the church's submission to Christ and a wife's submission to her husband shape our understanding of both relationships?

[Context]

Weaver repeatedly points to the analogy in Ephesians 5:24, emphasizing that the wife represents the church in this picture.

[Question]

What does it mean for a wife's submission to be 'religious' or 'as unto the Lord,' and how might this perspective change her daily attitude?

[Context]

Weaver explains that submission is part of worship to God, looking beyond the husband to God's authority.

[Question]

How should husbands respond to the truth that they cannot force submission, and what is their responsibility according to the parallel in Ephesians 5?

[Context]

Weaver states that forced submission is an oxymoron and that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

[Question]

What is the relationship between a wife's submission and her spiritual condition, according to Weaver's argument from Hebrews 12?

[Context]

Weaver suggests that persistent rebellion indicates either unregeneracy or impending chastening from God.

Applications

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