The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family

The Family - Part 6

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2007-09-30

Synopsis: In this sermon, John Weaver continues his series on the family by focusing on the wife's role of submission as outlined in Ephesians 5. He reviews the nature of submission (voluntary, exclusive, religious, ordained) and then expounds the ground of submission (created order, punitive decree, redemptive pattern), the extent of submission (in everything, with the exception of commands contrary to God's Word), and the climate of submission (reverence). The husband-wife relationship is presented as a typology of Christ and the church, with the wife's submission picturing the church's submission to Christ. Applications emphasize the need for grace, doctrinal grounding, and the example set for children.

[John Weaver] Well, let's open our Bibles then today to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. And I'll take a few minutes and review and then we'll pick up where we left off. Ephesians chapter 5. We've been dealing with the subject of the family for the last five weeks. This is the sixth week and there's probably going to be another four or five messages after this trying to deal with this as it is given to us in the Word of God. But let's read Ephesians chapter 5, beginning there with verse 21. The scripture says,"...submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

[John Weaver] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, As the church is subject unto Christ, so let their wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

[John Weaver] Now, let me just stop there for today, because that's all I'm going to get to cover. But let me remind you that we've covered the first two messages on the dominion aspect of the family. Showing how God had ordained and instituted the family to be an instrument of dominion to honor Him and to serve Him and to glorify Him, and to bring the earth into subjugation unto God as we use it for His honor and His glory. And then thirdly, I dealt with a message on creation differences, showing how God created men and women differently. And of course, He created them differently for their roles in the family. And of course, we found out that women were created differently not only physically, but judgmentally and emotionally as well. And then the fourth message I dealt with was God's ordained order.

[John Weaver] And I showed from 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3 and throughout the Bible that God had it like this, God, Christ, man, woman. And then I showed you through the Bible how it was emphasized over and over that God created Adam first. The man was first formed, then the woman, And we looked at all of those passages in 1 Corinthians chapter 11. And then last week we began looking at the roles that God has ordained for each member of the family.

[John Weaver] And we're not only going to cover the role of the wife, but the role of the husband, and the role of the children, and the role of the father and the mother, and then get into some other things as well. But last week we began with the role of the wife.

[John Weaver] Now, I did not get to finish the message last week, but I want to just take a moment and review having read several passages from Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians chapter 3, 1 Peter chapter 3. The key word for the wife was what? You remember? Go ahead and say it. Submit. That is correct because over and over that was the word that was given. So we look then in Ephesians chapter 5 and especially there at verses 22 and 23, and I shared with you the nature of that submission that God requires. We found, first of all, that the submission was to be a voluntary submission. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. While it is a voluntary submission, I pointed out it was not optional because God commanded it. And I explained that in the message last week. Secondly, it is to be an exclusive submission. Submit yourselves to your own husbands.

[John Weaver] And I shared with you from Scripture that there is a general deference that women give to men in public. For instance, like in Acts 16, where there's a woman's prayer meeting down by the riverside and the women were totally in charge until Paul went there and then they asked Paul to take over, which was fine. But when the Bible is speaking about why submit yourselves to your own husbands, the word is idios, which means that which exclusively or particularly belongs to you. So although Alice would be kind and gracious to any man, she would not give any other man the submission that she gives to me because it is to be an exclusive submission. Then thirdly, I pointed out, it is to be a religious submission. The scripture says, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. In other words, part of a wife's submission to her husband is her submission to God. Part of her worship of God is her submission to her husband. So whatever she does to the husband, it is to be as unto the Lord.

[John Weaver] And I pointed out in Ephesians 6, when God says, servants, be obedient to your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling and singleness of heart as unto the Lord. In other words, as the servant was to look beyond the master and see the Lord, so the wife is to look beyond the husband and see the Lord. So it is a religious submission. Fourthly, it is an ordained submission because he says in verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife. In other words, God ordained it that way.

[John Weaver] Now, today I want to continue with the rest of last week's message. Having looked at the nature of submission, let's begin with the second point, the ground of submission. I could summarize the ground of submission very easily. I could just simply say the ground of the wife's submission to her husband is simply because God has constituted and ordained it to be so. He ordained the family and he set the structure in the family. Now, instead of me just saying that, I'm going to give you the three heads under which God has given us for the ground of submission. First of all, there is the created order, and I'm not going to re-preach this because I preached this in the fourth message, but in Genesis 1, Genesis 2, 1 Timothy 2, and 1 Corinthians 11, over and over, Scripture emphasizes for the man was created first, then the woman. So, here is God's intentional order in creation. However, allow me to point out this simple truth. And I pointed this out when I gave the fourth message.

[John Weaver] The tendency of the woman to follow was embedded in her when she came forth from the hand of her creator. Why? Because God created the woman according to 1 Corinthians 11 and Genesis 2 to be an help meet or an help answerable to and suitable to the man. So when God created the woman, when she came forth from the hand of her creator, she came forth then as a help meet, and it was embedded in her to be a follower of her husband. Let me say this. If sin had not entered into the world, the most normal thing for a woman to do would be in submission to her husband. If sin had not entered in the world, the most normal thing for a man to do would be to love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. But in the created order, it was Adam first, and then Eve. So, the very first ground is the created order. The second ground is the punitive decree. If you will hold Ephesians chapter 5, but look in your Bibles please, back to Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16, Let me just point it out again.

[John Weaver] I did previously, but Genesis 3, verse 16, here's the punitive decree. Remember, the man was punished for his sin, the serpent was punished for his sin, and the woman is now punished for her sin. And he says in Genesis 3, verse 16, unto the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow. in thy conception, in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and by desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

[John Weaver] Now, let me just simply point out the fact that that was how God created it initially and originally. The man was to be over the wife.

[John Weaver] Now, however, as part of her punishment for her sin, She is now not only going to be in submission, but now her submission is going to be onerous because of her sin and simply because of her rebellion. Otherwise, it would have been normal and natural.

[John Weaver] Now, the third point I want to make under this, if you will turn back to Ephesians 5, and this is where most of the message is going to come in today, there is the redemptive pattern. So we're talking about the ground of a woman's submission. There is the created order. Creative order God created a man first then the woman there's the punitive decree where God decreed that the woman's Desire was to beat her husband. He would rule over her now the redemptive pattern look in your Bibles Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 wives Submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord why for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, I want you to note that in our text, Christ is mentioned and the church is mentioned, as well as the husband is mentioned and the wife is mentioned.

[John Weaver] So there is a relationship now that exists between Christ and the church and the husband and the wife. So you have to ask, what is that relationship and what is that connection? Well, let me state it very clearly that in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, and I'm going to say this several times today, but in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, the role of the wife is to emulate and typify the role of the church. and the role of the husband is to emulate and typify the role of Christ. So the relation that exists between Christ and his church is to be typified and symbolized and emulated between the husband and the wife. So you have Christ in the church over here, you have the husband and the wife over here, and the husband and wife relationship is to typify and symbolize and be emblematic of that relationship that Christ has with His church. Now, stop and think just for a moment about the relationship that Christ has to His church. The Church, of course, is to present to Jesus Christ a loving, obedient, pervasive, and voluntary submission as He is the Head of the Church.

[John Weaver] The Apostle Paul did not and could not conceive of anyone who is a true Christian who is not in submission to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it is normal and natural for a man who is saved by grace to bow to Christ. So the reality that forms this comparison is that as the church, as Christians, are in subjection to Jesus Christ, so the wives, therefore, are to be in subjection to their husbands.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to note very carefully what the Bible says. Look in verse 24. And I believe that Paul chose his words carefully. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ. I want you to note, he did not say as the church should be subject to Christ, or as the church ought to be subject to Christ, or as the church could be subject to Christ. No. He said as the church is subject to Christ.

[John Weaver] Now, let me remind you of something, that the word subject in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 24 is exactly the same word as submit. Ephesians 5 and verse 22. So when the Bible says, wives submit, and when the Bible says that the church is subject unto Christ, it is exactly the same word. Moreover, listen to me now, the word subject is in the present tense. What does that mean? That means that there is to be a constant, continual, progressive submission to Christ. Likewise, there should be a constant, continual, progressive submission of the wife to the husband.

[John Weaver] Now let me show you a very important theological point. You see, there are those who deny the Lordship of Jesus Christ. There are those who would try to say that, look, you may be saved and never bow to Jesus Christ. In other words, you may receive Christ as your prophet and your priest, but you do not have to receive Him as your king. Well, let me just point out the fact that those who hold that position destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us here in Ephesians chapter 5. Now, think about this. Think about this. If a real, genuine Christian can be saved and never bow to the kingship and lordship of Jesus Christ, then a real, genuine Christian wife can be saved and never be in submission to her husband. You see what I'm trying to show you? It will destroy the parallel in this passage. No, Paul could not conceive of a man being saved and not bowing to the lordship of Christ. just like he could not conceive of a Christian woman not voluntarily submitting to her husband.

[John Weaver] And if you say that one does not need to bow to the Lordship of Christ, then you destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us in Ephesians chapter 5. Therefore, wives who are not in subjection to their husbands misrepresent and pervert one of the most sacred truths of Scripture. Let me say this again. The wife's submission to her husband is to picture the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Her submission to her husband is to be analogous to the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it very bluntly again. The wife's submission is to picture, is to be emblematical of, It's to be symbolical of, it's to be demonstrative of, it's to be a true picture of the Christian's submission to Christ. Now, if you look in Ephesians 5 and verse 32, and I'm going to deal with this later on in this series, the apostle says this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. And what Paul is doing is comparing now the relationship of Christ and his church and the relationship of the husband and the wife.

[John Weaver] And he says it's a great mystery. Well, it may be a mystery. And some points may be difficult to comprehend and some points may be difficult to understand, yet you have to agree that it's plain rebellion to misrepresent that relationship that exists between Christ and his church. which should be symbolized between the wife and the husband. So Christ then has ordained the role of the wife to be symbolical of the role of the church.

[John Weaver] So the ground of her submission is the creative order, the punitive decree, and the redemptive pattern. Now look in verse 24 because thirdly, here is the extent of the submission. The Bible says, therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

[John Weaver] Now, the little word, pas, great word, P-A-S, pas, is found in verse 24. That's where it is translated as everything, literally in all things.

[John Weaver] Now, let me point this out. And ladies, hang on, because I'm going to do some further explanation, but. The scripture does not demand that wives submit to their husbands when it is convenient. Or when the husbands no more. Or when the husbands appear to be right. No, it just simply says you submit to your husbands in everything now. Let me explain this a little bit further. You see, all of us have heard numerous jokes concerning this issue. One that I heard years ago was about the man who bragged how he was the head of his house and that he made all the big decisions and he allowed his wife to make the little decisions. And someone asked him, said, well, what kind of big decisions do you make? And what kind of little decisions does your wife make? He said, I make all the big decisions like, should America go to war with Russia?

[John Weaver] Or what should the lending rate be from the Federal Reserve? My wife covers all the little things like where we should live, what kind of car we should drive, where the kids go to school, what we wear. You see what he was saying? He was actually saying that his wife basically ran the show. Now, we laugh at those things and we can laugh at them when they're not true. But unhappily, in most instances, they are true. There was also the man who stated publicly in front of his wife and others He was the head in his house. And his wife agreed.

[John Weaver] And she said, I'm just the neck. But the neck turns the head. You see what I'm saying? And then, of course, there's the T-shirts that everybody sees. The rooster rules the roost. But I rule the rooster. Well, that's just another way of saying it. We can laugh at those things, and some of them are cute, some of them are funny. But the sad thing is, in most homes, it's really no laughing matter. Now, let me just show you something. Ladies, look at this. Look in verse 24.

[John Weaver] Therefore, watch the parallel now. Therefore, as the church is subject under Christ, So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, when the Bible says, so let the wives be subject to their husbands in everything, it literally refers to the totality of life.

[John Weaver] Now, ask yourself this question. Look at it in verse 24. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. How many exemptions are there for the church not to be in submission to Christ? Can we jokingly say that we the church rule the head which is Christ? No, we cannot do that. Can we say as the church that there are areas, there are departments, and there are times that we are exempted from obedience to Christ? No. What does the Bible say in 2 Corinthians 10, verse 5? Bringing every thought into captivity to Jesus Christ. Now, as the church is subject under Christ in everything. There is not one area in which the church is not to be in subjection to Jesus Christ. And he says, therefore, as the church is subject under Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything or in all things.

[John Weaver] Now, let me stop preaching right here and go to Medlin, all right? Because let me explain how this text is usually perverted. Let me explain to you the errors that most people fall into when they read this text. Therefore, as the church is subject in Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So let me talk to the men just for a moment. Men, simply because your wife is required by scripture to be in submission to you.

[John Weaver] Does not mean that you may run roughshod over her. And discount her counsel. And discount her personhood. What do I mean by that? Well, you have to go back to those earlier messages that I preached on the family. In the last five weeks, and I demonstrated from Scripture, where the woman was equally created in the image of God, just like the man was. What does that mean? That means that the woman is a person as well. She is an image bearer of God, and she has been gifted in areas that men have not been gifted in. The fact that the wife is required to be in submission to her husband does not mean, therefore, ma'am, that you may ignore her or pretend like she has no input into anything that concerns her or the family or pretend like she has absolutely nothing to contribute.

[John Weaver] Let me ask you a question. I want you to think about this very seriously. How would you like it, men? How would you receive it if other people made decisions concerning you and your life without either notifying you or consulting with you? You wouldn't like that too well. In fact, you'd be incensed. And you would say, look, I'm a person. And I'm intelligent. And I've got sense. And you need to consult me before you start making decisions concerning my life. Well, you apply the same to your wife. Your wife may be required to be in submission to you, but that does not mean that you ignore her. It does not mean that you disregard her person. It does not mean that you have absolutely nothing to contribute. It is true. Listen carefully. It is true that the husband is responsible to make the ultimate decision. And the wife may be included in that decision, but it does not mean, therefore, that she is to be ignored or not consulted with. In fact, I'll be honest with you, since God has gifted the woman differently than the man, many times the wife may have insight and discernment and knowledge That not only might help you make a decision, it might help save your hide.

[John Weaver] Submission does not mean that you ignore your wife. Does not mean that you do not consult her. Does not mean that you refuse to talk with her. Does not mean that you refuse to discuss things for her. Now the Bible says, that the wife is to be in submission to the man in everything. But it does not mean, therefore, that she can be ignored and overlooked and discounted as if she has nothing to say and no input and no importance.

[John Weaver] Now, let me clarify something else since I'm talking to men right here. Another important area that needs to be clarifying is that when God requires that the wife be in submission in everything, And we understand that the term everything is all inclusive. Yet you must understand that there is also an exception to this command. Do you know what that exception is? Let me give you a primer, let me ask you a question. How many times is our Lord command? Or ask.

[John Weaver] As the head of the church. that the church do something that's contrary to his word. Does Christ ever ask the church to do anything unbiblical? No. No, not at all. Listen carefully. Likewise, Christ has never given the husband authority to ask his wife or to demand that his wife do something that is contrary to the word of God. I may be the head of my wife, but men, when I get to husbands love your wives, I'm going to point out some things.

[John Weaver] We are to be their heads for their good, not for their detriment, not for their destruction. Christ never asked the church to do anything contrary to his word. And the husband never has authority from Christ to ask the wife to do anything that's contrary to the law of God. Do you remember when Peter and the other apostles were preaching in Acts chapter five and they were captured? And the ruler said, you're not going to preach anymore in the name of Christ, we command you don't do this. You remember what Peter said and the other apostles, they said, We ought to obey God rather than man. Now, what's that mean? That means, husbands, if you want to make sure that your wife does not submit to you, then you act tyrannically and unbiblically. Whenever you ask your wife or demand that your wife do something that's contrary to the word of God or act in a manner displeasing to the Lord, And that which is wicked and wrong, you're acting outside of your headship and outside of your authority.

[John Weaver] That's simple. In such situations. The wife ought to look to her husband and very sweetly and gently say, well, sweetheart, I'd really like to submit to you, but. I'm not being rebellious to you, I want to be in submission. But what you're asking is contrary to the word of God. And according to scripture, I must obey God rather than man, because God is the highest authority and my ultimate submission and subjection is to him. You have no authority to ask me to go contrary to the word of God.

[John Weaver] So let me just make this plain. Biblical submission does not include submission to tyranny and wickedness. That's simple. God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if she is commanded by her husband to do so. You know, you can make this thing so simple. I don't have to look at Alice and say, I don't have enough money to pay my bills this month. Take this pistol and go rob the bank so I can have the money to pay my bills. I don't have authority to tell her to violate the law of God. God says thou shalt not steal. God has not set me up as some type of little tyrant to enable me to constantly and continually violate His Word. So God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if commanded by her husband to do so. On the other hand, God expects a wife to obey Him since He is the highest authority. and she must understand that God never gave the husband the authority to go contrary to the word.

[John Weaver] So, the ground of a submission is the created order, the punitive decree, the redemptive pattern, and now we see the extent of that submission in all things with the exception that we have no right to ask them to go contrary to the Word of God. And fourthly today, I want you to look at the climate of that submission. Look in your Bibles to verse 33. The Bible says, Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Wow. The wife is to see that she reverence her husband. What does that mean? Well, the Greek word for reverence is the root word phobeo, which is the word for fear. It's the standard word for fear. However, the word is also used to indicate reverence. Here it is used to indicate reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, Reverential obedience, the word is sometimes used also to mean to stand in awe or to stand in amazement.

[John Weaver] Now, let me just explain it like this, I'm going to show you the scripture. If you are standing in awe. If you are reverencing. You're not ridiculing, you're not mocking, you're not making light. of someone's position or authority.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, Holy Ephesians 5, but turn to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3. Let's look at verse 6 and then verse 15. We're going to see the same word, fear. 1 Peter 3 and verse 6.

[John Weaver] Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. Whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid. With any amazement. You know. After 45 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me Lord. I don't know why. Just can't get her to bow down, Timothy. I don't understand that. But Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

[John Weaver] Now look what he says. Whose daughters you are, as long as you do well and not are afraid with any amazement. Now look in verse 15. Here's the same word, fear. Look at it. Verse 15. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts. And be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. Now, very obviously, the word fear here, as well as the other, does not mean to be afraid of and to tremble and to shake and be fearful for your life.

[John Weaver] That's not what it's talking about. But it has to do with reverence. It has to do with respect. Albert Barnes, in his commentary, said this on the word fear, he said to the women, so long as you perform your duty with a resolute mind, and keep from that which is contrary to your faith, or as long as you subject yourselves to your husbands willingly, cheerfully, and without slavish fear of being

[John Weaver] losers by your obedience, and fearing the worse for your patience and submission. But in verse 15, when he says, sanctify the Lord God in your heart and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of hope that life in you with meekness and fear. Once again, it's the word phobeo. And certainly it has reference there to reverence. Now, God then requires the wife to reverence her husband. What's that mean? Well, there's a passage. In 1 Peter 2, in verse 17, where we have another command, look back there, 1 Peter 2, verse 17. God says, honor all men, that's general. Love the brotherhood, that's general. Fear God, that's specific. Honor the king, that's specific. Now, what does God mean when he says, honor the king?

[John Weaver] Let me ask you a question. Are kings always honorable? No. Are they always right? No. What God is saying is this. You have to honor the office of authority. Even though there happens to be someone in that office who is dishonorable or who is not right. And Lord, you don't despise the office just because the man in it happens to be wrong or at times happens to be wicked.

[John Weaver] Now, I'm going to let you women know something today that probably you've never thought of. It's probably never entered your mind, but here it is. Men are not always right. Now, I know that comes as a surprise to some of you, doesn't it? It comes as a shock. We're not always right. We can be ugly. Well, other men can. You saw the look there. Sometimes we can be ugly. Sometimes we can be downright hateful. All I'm pointing out is this. The husband is not always right. He's not always honorable. But he's always the husband. And he's always in the office that God has ordained for him. So while someone can hold an office and be disrespectful and dishonorable, does not mean that you dishonor the office You must reverence that office.

[John Weaver] Now, let me ask you a question. Ladies, here it is laid out for you. In Ephesians 5, verse 32, God says that the wife see that she reverence her husband. Now, here's my question. How do you reverence your husband? Do you reverence him by always agreeing with him? And always admitting that he is right? And the answer is, of course not. Because he's not always right. You may disagree with your husband. Ladies, listen carefully.

[John Weaver] I'm going to show you a scripture. You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office. For the office that he holds is that of the head of the wife, and the head of the family which God has ordained and which God has appointed." Now let me show you a parallel. I want you to look in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. Watch carefully. 1 Timothy 5 verse 1. Here's what the Scripture says.

[John Weaver] Rebuke, not an elder, but entreat him as a father and the younger men as brethren. Now, an elder in this passage is not just an older man, but the word elder is a term for a pastor in the Bible. So literally, here's what he says. Rebuke, not a pastor, but entreat him as a father.

[John Weaver] Now, let me ask you, are pastors always right? No. But they do have an office. Now. Can a pastor sin? Yes. Can a pastor be wrong? Yes. Can a pastor be confronted when he sins and when he is wrong? Yes. Because he's not only a pastor, he's also a brother. And that means that he may be confronted as a brother. But look what God says. God says, when you go to confront a pastor, you better make sure that you rebuke him not, but you entreat him as a father. Now, let me ask you, when you were a child and you disagreed with your father, Did you go up to your earthly father and shake your finger in his face and say, let me tell you something, and let me tell you something right now? Did you do that? If you had a father like mine, you only did it once. No. But even as a grown son, I never did that to my father, and there were plenty of times I disagreed with him.

[John Weaver] But what does it mean? It means you have to treat him with respect. You have to respect the office that he's holding. So that means if I sin, since you're my Christian brothers and sisters in the Lord, you would have the right to come to me lovingly and gently and say, Pastor, may I point something out for you from scripture? Let me show you where you're violating the word of God.

[John Weaver] And hey, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you want to come up and get mad at me and shake your finger in my face and cuss me out, there's something wrong with that. Because Scripture says, rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father. It's the same thing, ladies, with your husbands. It doesn't mean that you can't disagree with them. It doesn't mean that you can't lovingly help them see the error of their ways and thus correct them. But it means that you must do so respectfully, reverencing their office as being the head of a wife and head of the family, he must be treated as a father and as the head of the house.

[John Weaver] Now, let me give you a couple of quotes. On the word reverence, the wife see that she reverence her husband, here's what Albert Barnes, the commentator said, just to show you that. I'm in the line of historical commentators, here it is, Barnes wrote, the meaning is that it was the special duty of the wife to show respect for her husband as the head of the family and has set over her in the Lord. The word rendered reverence is that which usually notes fear, phobetai. She is to fear, that is, to honor, to respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority, no disregard of the arrangement which God has made And that no order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law. So he's saying, look, God is simply requiring you to respect the office that your husband has over you. And here's what Calvin said on reverence.

[John Weaver] Husbands are required to love their wives. and wives to fear their husbands, understanding by fear that reverence which will lead them to be submissive, which reverence does not exist, or where reverence does not exist, there will be no willing subjection." Now, when God says wives, See that you reverence your husband. I would suggest that the reverence that is demanded arises from the two main factors I've already told you. The first one is the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the head of the family.

[John Weaver] You say, well, I don't like that. Well, then you have to take that up with the Lord because he's the one who made you a woman. He's the one who created you. And he's the one who ordained the man to be the head of the house. I'm sorry. So there's the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the family. And secondly, from the recognition of the reality that such reverence has been ordained by God, God instituted it so. So your argument is not with man. Your argument is with God. So the Bible says the climate is the wife see that she reverence the husband.

[John Weaver] Now, let me make some applications today. Here we go. First to the wives. It's imperative that you remember that your position is to reflect the position of the church to Christ. God has ordained that your role in the family be reflective of and demonstrative of the role of the church to Jesus Christ. The church is not only to be in submission to Christ, it is to reverence Christ as her head. Ladies, please remember this.

[John Weaver] One of the truest examples and witnesses to your children is how you react and how you respond and how you relive in relation to your husband. And I'm going to tell you, the sad thing is our children usually turn out to be the kind of wives and husbands that we are. So if we give them a wrong example, they're going to be wrong in their lives. Our children will inevitably develop the same attitudes which they perceive in their parents. Wives must be in submission in order to be in obedience to Christ, to honor their husbands as their head, and to give a living example to their children.

[John Weaver] Now, the second application is this. In order for your conduct to be biblical, it must be grounded and founded upon doctrine. It is the doctrine that describes your duty. It's the doctrine that informs you how to fulfill your duty. You must grasp the doctrine in order to be obedient. So make sure that you understand that your duty is always based upon doctrine. If you understand the doctrine that's been taught, then your duty should be obvious. The third application is this. Since everything I've just given you is true, you must now see the desperate need that we have of the grace of God in our lives in order for us to live holy, godly and obedient lives.

[John Weaver] You remember, our Lord said in John 15, without me, you can do nothing. Let me ask you, is obedience something? Yes. Is reverence something? Yes. Is submission something? Yes. What's that mean? It means we need the grace of God.

[John Weaver] Now, let me show you, look back in your Bibles, Ephesians 5 and verse 21. And I covered this last week, ladies, you will remember this, those of you who were here. God does not just simply demand that you be in submission. Husbands must be in submission to Christ. Children must be in submission to their parents. Servants must be in submission to their masters. Employees must be in submission to their employers. And therefore, in Ephesians 5 and verse 21, our Lord says it like this. Look carefully. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21.

[John Weaver] I'm not even there myself. Here it is Ephesians 5 verse 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God That is we all have an area of submission Calvin said it like this listen carefully God has bound us so strongly to each other that no man ought to endeavor to avoid subjection. And where love reigns, mutual services will be rendered. I do not accept kings and governors, whose very authority is held for the service of the community. It is highly proper that all should be exhorted to be subject to each other in their turn." How about that? So that means this. As the husband is in subjection to Christ, the wife is to be in subjection to the husband. The children are to be in subjection to the parents. For this is the will of God and the individual roles that God has ordained for husbands, wives, and children.

[John Weaver] Now, ladies, let me encourage you. When I return, I'll be dealing with the husband, so make sure that you're here and make sure that your husband is here. All right, let's pray. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your grace and your mercy today. We're so thankful, Lord, that you have ordained the family. You've instituted the roles of the family of each individual member. Give us grace, Lord, that we may understand these roles. And to serve the Lord with reverence and godly fear, Fulfill those roles that we may honor Thee and obey Thee and have joyful, successful and prosperous lives in obedience to Thy Word. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.

[John Weaver] This program was produced by Dominion Ministry. For more information about Pastor Weaver's sermons, You may contact Dominion Ministry by mail at 7400 Abracorn, that's A-B-E-R-C-O-R-N Street, Suite 705, P-M-B 175, Savannah, Georgia, 31406. Or give us a call at 912-925-0995.

[John Weaver] You can also visit our website at www.dominionministry.com

The Family - Part 6

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	111071123551
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-09-30
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 6
Source Timed Segments	64

Formatted Transcript

Review of Previous Messages

Weaver summarizes the first five messages: dominion aspect of the family, creation differences between men and women, God's ordained order (God, Christ, man, woman), and the beginning of the roles in the family.

Well, let's open our Bibles then today to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. And I'll take a few minutes and review and then we'll pick up where we left off. Ephesians chapter 5. We've been dealing with the subject of the family for the last five weeks. This is the sixth week and there's probably going to be another four or five messages after this trying to deal with this as it is given to us in the Word of God. But let's read Ephesians chapter 5, beginning there with verse 21. The scripture says,

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:21-24

"...submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." Now, let me just stop there for today, because that's all I'm going to get to cover. But let me remind you that we've covered the first two messages on the dominion aspect of the family, showing how God had ordained and instituted the family to be an instrument of dominion to honor Him and to serve Him and to glorify Him, and to bring the earth into subjugation unto God as we use it for His honor and His glory. And then thirdly, I dealt with a message on creation differences, showing how God created men and women differently. And of course, He created them differently for their roles in the family. And of course, we found out that women were created differently not only physically, but judgmentally and emotionally as well. And then the fourth message I dealt with was God's ordained order.

And I showed from 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3 and throughout the Bible that God had it like this: God, Christ, man, woman. And then I showed you through the Bible how it was emphasized over and over that God created Adam first. The man was first formed, then the woman. And we looked at all of those passages in 1 Corinthians chapter 11. And then last week we began looking at the roles that God has ordained for each member of the family.

Review of the Wife's Role: Nature of Submission

The key word for the wife is 'submit.' Submission is voluntary, exclusive, religious, and ordained by God.

Now, I did not get to finish the message last week, but I want to just take a moment and review having read several passages from Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians chapter 3, 1 Peter chapter 3. The key word for the wife was what? You remember? Go ahead and say it. Submit. That is correct because over and over that was the word that was given. So we look then in Ephesians chapter 5 and especially there at verses 22 and 23, and I shared with you the nature of that submission that God requires. We found, first of all, that the submission was to be a voluntary submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." While it is a voluntary submission, I pointed out it was not optional because God commanded it. And I explained that in the message last week. Secondly, it is to be an exclusive submission. "Submit yourselves to your own husbands."

And I shared with you from Scripture that there is a general deference that women give to men in public. For instance, like in Acts 16, where there's a woman's prayer meeting down by the riverside and the women were totally in charge until Paul went there and then they asked Paul to take over, which was fine. But when the Bible is speaking about "wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," the word is idios, which means that which exclusively or particularly belongs to you. So although Alice would be kind and gracious to any man, she would not give any other man the submission that she gives to me because it is to be an exclusive submission. Then thirdly, I pointed out, it is to be a religious submission. The scripture says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord." In other words, part of a wife's submission to her husband is her submission to God. Part of her worship of God is her submission to her husband. So whatever she does to the husband, it is to be as unto the Lord.

And I pointed out in Ephesians 6, when God says, "Servants, be obedient to your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling and singleness of heart as unto the Lord." In other words, as the servant was to look beyond the master and see the Lord, so the wife is to look beyond the husband and see the Lord. So it is a religious submission. Fourthly, it is an ordained submission because he says in verse 23, "For the husband is the head of the wife." In other words, God ordained it that way. Now, today I want to continue with the rest of last week's message. Having looked at the nature of submission, let's begin with the second point, the ground of submission. I could summarize the ground of submission very easily. I could just simply say the ground of the wife's submission to her husband is simply because God has constituted and ordained it to be so. He ordained the family and he set the structure in the family. Now, instead of me just saying that, I'm going to give you the three heads under which God has given us for the ground of submission. First of all, there is the created order, and I'm not going to re-preach this because I preached this in the fourth message, but in Genesis 1, Genesis 2, 1 Timothy 2, and 1 Corinthians 11, over and over, Scripture emphasizes "for the man was created first, then the woman." So, here is God's intentional order in creation. However, allow me to point out this simple truth. And I pointed this out when I gave the fourth message.

The Ground of Submission

The wife's submission is grounded in the created order (Adam first, then Eve), the punitive decree (Genesis 3:16), and the redemptive pattern (the husband-wife relationship typifying Christ and the church).

The tendency of the woman to follow was embedded in her when she came forth from the hand of her creator. Why? Because God created the woman according to 1 Corinthians 11 and Genesis 2 to be a help meet or a help answerable to and suitable to the man. So when God created the woman, when she came forth from the hand of her creator, she came forth then as a help meet, and it was embedded in her to be a follower of her husband. Let me say this. If sin had not entered into the world, the most normal thing for a woman to do would be in submission to her husband. If sin had not entered in the world, the most normal thing for a man to do would be to love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. But in the created order, it was Adam first, and then Eve. So, the very first ground is the created order. The second ground is the punitive decree. If you will hold Ephesians chapter 5, but look in your Bibles please, back to Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16. Let me just point it out again.

I did previously, but Genesis 3, verse 16, here's the punitive decree. Remember, the man was punished for his sin, the serpent was punished for his sin, and the woman is now punished for her sin. And he says in Genesis 3, verse 16,

Scripture Reading — Genesis 3:16

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow in thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Now, let me just simply point out the fact that that was how God created it initially and originally. The man was to be over the wife.

Now, however, as part of her punishment for her sin, she is now not only going to be in submission, but now her submission is going to be onerous because of her sin and simply because of her rebellion. Otherwise, it would have been normal and natural. Now, the third point I want to make under this, if you will turn back to Ephesians 5, and this is where most of the message is going to come in today, there is the redemptive pattern. So we're talking about the ground of a woman's submission. There is the created order. Creative order: God created a man first, then the woman. There's the punitive decree where God decreed that the woman's desire was to be to her husband, he would rule over her. Now the redemptive pattern: look in your Bibles Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, I want you to note that in our text, Christ is mentioned and the church is mentioned, as well as the husband is mentioned and the wife is mentioned.

So there is a relationship now that exists between Christ and the church and the husband and the wife. So you have to ask, what is that relationship and what is that connection? Well, let me state it very clearly that in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, and I'm going to say this several times today, but in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, the role of the wife is to emulate and typify the role of the church, and the role of the husband is to emulate and typify the role of Christ. So the relation that exists between Christ and his church is to be typified and symbolized and emulated between the husband and the wife. So you have Christ and the church over here, you have the husband and the wife over here, and the husband and wife relationship is to typify and symbolize and be emblematic of that relationship that Christ has with His church. Now, stop and think just for a moment about the relationship that Christ has to His church. The Church, of course, is to present to Jesus Christ a loving, obedient, pervasive, and voluntary submission as He is the Head of the Church.

The Apostle Paul did not and could not conceive of anyone who is a true Christian who is not in submission to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it is normal and natural for a man who is saved by grace to bow to Christ. So the reality that forms this comparison is that as the church, as Christians, are in subjection to Jesus Christ, so the wives, therefore, are to be in subjection to their husbands. Now, I want you to note very carefully what the Bible says. Look in verse 24. And I believe that Paul chose his words carefully. "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ." I want you to note, he did not say "as the church should be subject to Christ," or "as the church ought to be subject to Christ," or "as the church could be subject to Christ." No. He said "as the church is subject to Christ."

Now, let me remind you of something, that the word "subject" in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 24 is exactly the same word as "submit" in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. So when the Bible says, "wives submit," and when the Bible says that "the church is subject unto Christ," it is exactly the same word. Moreover, listen to me now, the word "subject" is in the present tense. What does that mean? That means that there is to be a constant, continual, progressive submission to Christ. Likewise, there should be a constant, continual, progressive submission of the wife to the husband.

Now let me show you a very important theological point. You see, there are those who deny the Lordship of Jesus Christ. There are those who would try to say that, look, you may be saved and never bow to Jesus Christ. In other words, you may receive Christ as your prophet and your priest, but you do not have to receive Him as your king. Well, let me just point out the fact that those who hold that position destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us here in Ephesians chapter 5. Now, think about this. Think about this. If a real, genuine Christian can be saved and never bow to the kingship and lordship of Jesus Christ, then a real, genuine Christian wife can be saved and never be in submission to her husband. You see what I'm trying to show you? It will destroy the parallel in this passage. No, Paul could not conceive of a man being saved and not bowing to the lordship of Christ, just like he could not conceive of a Christian woman not voluntarily submitting to her husband.

And if you say that one does not need to bow to the Lordship of Christ, then you destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us in Ephesians chapter 5. Therefore, wives who are not in subjection to their husbands misrepresent and pervert one of the most sacred truths of Scripture. Let me say this again. The wife's submission to her husband is to picture the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Her submission to her husband is to be analogous to the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it very bluntly again. The wife's submission is to picture, is to be emblematical of, it's to be symbolical of, it's to be demonstrative of, it's to be a true picture of the Christian's submission to Christ. Now, if you look in Ephesians 5 and verse 32, and I'm going to deal with this later on in this series, the apostle says "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." And what Paul is doing is comparing now the relationship of Christ and his church and the relationship of the husband and the wife.

And he says it's a great mystery. Well, it may be a mystery. And some points may be difficult to comprehend and some points may be difficult to understand, yet you have to agree that it's plain rebellion to misrepresent that relationship that exists between Christ and his church, which should be symbolized between the wife and the husband. So Christ then has ordained the role of the wife to be symbolical of the role of the church.

So the ground of her submission is the creative order, the punitive decree, and the redemptive pattern. Now look in verse 24 because thirdly, here is the extent of the submission. The Bible says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."

The Extent of Submission

Wives are to submit to their husbands 'in everything,' meaning the totality of life, with the exception of commands contrary to God's Word. The parallel with the church's submission to Christ is emphasized.

Now, the little word, pas, great word, P-A-S, pas, is found in verse 24. That's where it is translated as "everything," literally "in all things." Now, let me point this out. And ladies, hang on, because I'm going to do some further explanation, but the scripture does not demand that wives submit to their husbands when it is convenient, or when the husbands know more, or when the husbands appear to be right. No, it just simply says you submit to your husbands in everything. Now, let me explain this a little bit further. You see, all of us have heard numerous jokes concerning this issue. One that I heard years ago was about the man who bragged how he was the head of his house and that he made all the big decisions and he allowed his wife to make the little decisions. And someone asked him, said, "Well, what kind of big decisions do you make? And what kind of little decisions does your wife make?" He said, "I make all the big decisions like, should America go to war with Russia?"

"Or what should the lending rate be from the Federal Reserve? My wife covers all the little things like where we should live, what kind of car we should drive, where the kids go to school, what we wear." You see what he was saying? He was actually saying that his wife basically ran the show. Now, we laugh at those things and we can laugh at them when they're not true. But unhappily, in most instances, they are true. There was also the man who stated publicly in front of his wife and others he was the head in his house. And his wife agreed.

And she said, "I'm just the neck. But the neck turns the head." You see what I'm saying? And then, of course, there's the T-shirts that everybody sees. "The rooster rules the roost. But I rule the rooster." Well, that's just another way of saying it. We can laugh at those things, and some of them are cute, some of them are funny. But the sad thing is, in most homes, it's really no laughing matter. Now, let me just show you something. Ladies, look at this. Look in verse 24.

Scripture Reading — 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Therefore, watch the parallel now. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, when the Bible says, "so let the wives be subject to their husbands in everything," it literally refers to the totality of life. Now, ask yourself this question. Look at it in verse 24. "Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." How many exemptions are there for the church not to be in submission to Christ? Can we jokingly say that we the church rule the head which is Christ? No, we cannot do that. Can we say as the church that there are areas, there are departments, and there are times that we are exempted from obedience to Christ? No. What does the Bible say in 2 Corinthians 10, verse 5? "Bringing every thought into captivity to Jesus Christ." Now, as the church is subject unto Christ in everything, there is not one area in which the church is not to be in subjection to Jesus Christ. And he says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything" or "in all things."

Now, let me stop preaching right here and go to meddling, all right? Because let me explain how this text is usually perverted. Let me explain to you the errors that most people fall into when they read this text. "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." So let me talk to the men just for a moment. Men, simply because your wife is required by scripture to be in submission to you does not mean that you may run roughshod over her, and discount her counsel, and discount her personhood. What do I mean by that? Well, you have to go back to those earlier messages that I preached on the family in the last five weeks, and I demonstrated from Scripture, where the woman was equally created in the image of God, just like the man was. What does that mean? That means that the woman is a person as well. She is an image bearer of God, and she has been gifted in areas that men have not been gifted in. The fact that the wife is required to be in submission to her husband does not mean, therefore, ma'am, that you may ignore her or pretend like she has no input into anything that concerns her or the family or pretend like she has absolutely nothing to contribute.

Let me ask you a question. I want you to think about this very seriously. How would you like it, men? How would you receive it if other people made decisions concerning you and your life without either notifying you or consulting with you? You wouldn't like that too well. In fact, you'd be incensed. And you would say, "Look, I'm a person. And I'm intelligent. And I've got sense. And you need to consult me before you start making decisions concerning my life." Well, you apply the same to your wife. Your wife may be required to be in submission to you, but that does not mean that you ignore her. It does not mean that you disregard her person. It does not mean that you have absolutely nothing to contribute. It is true. Listen carefully. It is true that the husband is responsible to make the ultimate decision. And the wife may be included in that decision, but it does not mean, therefore, that she is to be ignored or not consulted with. In fact, I'll be honest with you, since God has gifted the woman differently than the man, many times the wife may have insight and discernment and knowledge that not only might help you make a decision, it might help save your hide.

Submission does not mean that you ignore your wife. Does not mean that you do not consult her. Does not mean that you refuse to talk with her. Does not mean that you refuse to discuss things with her. Now the Bible says that the wife is to be in submission to the man in everything. But it does not mean, therefore, that she can be ignored and overlooked and discounted as if she has nothing to say and no input and no importance.

Now, let me clarify something else since I'm talking to men right here. Another important area that needs to be clarified is that when God requires that the wife be in submission in everything, and we understand that the term "everything" is all inclusive, yet you must understand that there is also an exception to this command. Do you know what that exception is? Let me give you a primer, let me ask you a question. How many times is our Lord commanded or asked, as the head of the church, that the church do something that's contrary to his word? Does Christ ever ask the church to do anything unbiblical? No. No, not at all. Listen carefully. Likewise, Christ has never given the husband authority to ask his wife or to demand that his wife do something that is contrary to the word of God. I may be the head of my wife, but men, when I get to "husbands, love your wives," I'm going to point out some things.

We are to be their heads for their good, not for their detriment, not for their destruction. Christ never asked the church to do anything contrary to his word. And the husband never has authority from Christ to ask the wife to do anything that's contrary to the law of God. Do you remember when Peter and the other apostles were preaching in Acts chapter 5 and they were captured? And the ruler said, "You're not going to preach anymore in the name of Christ, we command you don't do this." You remember what Peter said and the other apostles, they said, "We ought to obey God rather than man." Now, what's that mean? That means, husbands, if you want to make sure that your wife does not submit to you, then you act tyrannically and unbiblically. Whenever you ask your wife or demand that your wife do something that's contrary to the word of God or act in a manner displeasing to the Lord, and that which is wicked and wrong, you're acting outside of your headship and outside of your authority.

That's simple. In such situations, the wife ought to look to her husband and very sweetly and gently say, "Well, sweetheart, I'd really like to submit to you, but I'm not being rebellious to you, I want to be in submission. But what you're asking is contrary to the word of God. And according to scripture, I must obey God rather than man, because God is the highest authority and my ultimate submission and subjection is to him. You have no authority to ask me to go contrary to the word of God."

So let me just make this plain. Biblical submission does not include submission to tyranny and wickedness. That's simple. God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if she is commanded by her husband to do so. You know, you can make this thing so simple. I don't have to look at Alice and say, "I don't have enough money to pay my bills this month. Take this pistol and go rob the bank so I can have the money to pay my bills." I don't have authority to tell her to violate the law of God. God says "Thou shalt not steal." God has not set me up as some type of little tyrant to enable me to constantly and continually violate His Word. So God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if commanded by her husband to do so. On the other hand, God expects a wife to obey Him since He is the highest authority, and she must understand that God never gave the husband the authority to go contrary to the word.

The Climate of Submission: Reverence

Wives are commanded to reverence their husbands, meaning to respect the office of headship even when the husband is not always right. This reverence is rooted in God's ordination.

So, the ground of submission is the created order, the punitive decree, the redemptive pattern, and now we see the extent of that submission in all things with the exception that we have no right to ask them to go contrary to the Word of God. And fourthly today, I want you to look at the climate of that submission. Look in your Bibles to verse 33. The Bible says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Wow. The wife is to see that she reverence her husband. What does that mean? Well, the Greek word for "reverence" is the root word phobeo, which is the word for fear. It's the standard word for fear. However, the word is also used to indicate reverence. Here it is used to indicate reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, reverential obedience. The word is sometimes used also to mean to stand in awe or to stand in amazement.

Now, let me just explain it like this, I'm going to show you the scripture. If you are standing in awe, if you are reverencing, you're not ridiculing, you're not mocking, you're not making light of someone's position or authority. Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, hold Ephesians 5, but turn to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3. Let's look at verse 6 and then verse 15. We're going to see the same word, fear. 1 Peter 3 and verse 6.

"Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." You know, after 45 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me lord. I don't know why. Just can't get her to bow down, Timothy. I don't understand that. But Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

Now look what he says. "Whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Now look in verse 15. Here's the same word, fear. Look at it. Verse 15. "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear." Now, very obviously, the word "fear" here, as well as the other, does not mean to be afraid of and to tremble and to shake and be fearful for your life. That's not what it's talking about. But it has to do with reverence. It has to do with respect. Albert Barnes, in his commentary, said this on the word fear, he said to the women, "so long as you perform your duty with a resolute mind, and keep from that which is contrary to your faith, or as long as you subject yourselves to your husbands willingly, cheerfully, and without slavish fear of being

losers by your obedience, and fearing the worse for your patience and submission." But in verse 15, when he says, "sanctify the Lord God in your heart and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of hope that is in you with meekness and fear," once again, it's the word phobeo. And certainly it has reference there to reverence. Now, God then requires the wife to reverence her husband. What's that mean? Well, there's a passage in 1 Peter 2, in verse 17, where we have another command, look back there, 1 Peter 2, verse 17. God says, "Honour all men," that's general. "Love the brotherhood," that's general. "Fear God," that's specific. "Honour the king," that's specific. Now, what does God mean when he says, "Honour the king"?

Let me ask you a question. Are kings always honorable? No. Are they always right? No. What God is saying is this. You have to honor the office of authority. Even though there happens to be someone in that office who is dishonorable or who is not right. And Lord, you don't despise the office just because the man in it happens to be wrong or at times happens to be wicked.

Now, I'm going to let you women know something today that probably you've never thought of. It's probably never entered your mind, but here it is. Men are not always right. Now, I know that comes as a surprise to some of you, doesn't it? It comes as a shock. We're not always right. We can be ugly. Well, other men can. You saw the look there. Sometimes we can be ugly. Sometimes we can be downright hateful. All I'm pointing out is this. The husband is not always right. He's not always honorable. But he's always the husband. And he's always in the office that God has ordained for him. So while someone can hold an office and be disrespectful and dishonorable, does not mean that you dishonor the office. You must reverence that office.

Now, let me ask you a question. Ladies, here it is laid out for you. In Ephesians 5, verse 33, God says that the wife see that she reverence her husband. Now, here's my question. How do you reverence your husband? Do you reverence him by always agreeing with him? And always admitting that he is right? And the answer is, of course not. Because he's not always right. You may disagree with your husband. Ladies, listen carefully.

I'm going to show you a scripture. You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office. For the office that he holds is that of the head of the wife, and the head of the family which God has ordained and which God has appointed. Now let me show you a parallel. I want you to look in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. Watch carefully. 1 Timothy 5 verse 1. Here's what the Scripture says.

"Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren." Now, an elder in this passage is not just an older man, but the word elder is a term for a pastor in the Bible. So literally, here's what he says. "Rebuke not a pastor, but intreat him as a father." Now, let me ask you, are pastors always right? No. But they do have an office. Now, can a pastor sin? Yes. Can a pastor be wrong? Yes. Can a pastor be confronted when he sins and when he is wrong? Yes. Because he's not only a pastor, he's also a brother. And that means that he may be confronted as a brother. But look what God says. God says, when you go to confront a pastor, you better make sure that you rebuke him not, but you intreat him as a father. Now, let me ask you, when you were a child and you disagreed with your father, did you go up to your earthly father and shake your finger in his face and say, "Let me tell you something, and let me tell you something right now"? Did you do that? If you had a father like mine, you only did it once. No. But even as a grown son, I never did that to my father, and there were plenty of times I disagreed with him.

But what does it mean? It means you have to treat him with respect. You have to respect the office that he's holding. So that means if I sin, since you're my Christian brothers and sisters in the Lord, you would have the right to come to me lovingly and gently and say, "Pastor, may I point something out for you from scripture? Let me show you where you're violating the word of God." And hey, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you want to come up and get mad at me and shake your finger in my face and cuss me out, there's something wrong with that. Because Scripture says, "Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father." It's the same thing, ladies, with your husbands. It doesn't mean that you can't disagree with them. It doesn't mean that you can't lovingly help them see the error of their ways and thus correct them. But it means that you must do so respectfully, reverencing their office as being the head of a wife and head of the family, he must be treated as a father and as the head of the house.

Now, let me give you a couple of quotes. On the word reverence, "the wife see that she reverence her husband," here's what Albert Barnes, the commentator said, just to show you that I'm in the line of historical commentators, here it is, Barnes wrote, "The meaning is that it was the special duty of the wife to show respect for her husband as the head of the family and as set over her in the Lord. The word rendered reverence is that which usually notes fear, phobeo. She is to fear, that is, to honor, to respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority, no disregard of the arrangement which God has made and that no order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law." So he's saying, look, God is simply requiring you to respect the office that your husband has over you. And here's what Calvin said on reverence.

"Husbands are required to love their wives, and wives to fear their husbands, understanding by fear that reverence which will lead them to be submissive, which reverence does not exist, or where reverence does not exist, there will be no willing subjection." Now, when God says "wives, see that you reverence your husband," I would suggest that the reverence that is demanded arises from the two main factors I've already told you. The first one is the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the head of the family. You say, "Well, I don't like that." Well, then you have to take that up with the Lord because he's the one who made you a woman. He's the one who created you. And he's the one who ordained the man to be the head of the house. I'm sorry. So there's the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the family. And secondly, from the recognition of the reality that such reverence has been ordained by God, God instituted it so. So your argument is not with man. Your argument is with God. So the Bible says the climate is the wife see that she reverence the husband.

Now, let me make some applications today. Here we go. First to the wives. It's imperative that you remember that your position is to reflect the position of the church to Christ. God has ordained that your role in the family be reflective of and demonstrative of the role of the church to Jesus Christ. The church is not only to be in submission to Christ, it is to reverence Christ as her head. Ladies, please remember this.

Applications

Wives must remember their role reflects the church's submission to Christ, their conduct must be grounded in doctrine, and they need God's grace to live obediently. The example set for children is crucial.

One of the truest examples and witnesses to your children is how you react and how you respond and how you relive in relation to your husband. And I'm going to tell you, the sad thing is our children usually turn out to be the kind of wives and husbands that we are. So if we give them a wrong example, they're going to be wrong in their lives. Our children will inevitably develop the same attitudes which they perceive in their parents. Wives must be in submission in order to be in obedience to Christ, to honor their husbands as their head, and to give a living example to their children.

Now, the second application is this. In order for your conduct to be biblical, it must be grounded and founded upon doctrine. It is the doctrine that describes your duty. It's the doctrine that informs you how to fulfill your duty. You must grasp the doctrine in order to be obedient. So make sure that you understand that your duty is always based upon doctrine. If you understand the doctrine that's been taught, then your duty should be obvious. The third application is this. Since everything I've just given you is true, you must now see the desperate need that we have of the grace of God in our lives in order for us to live holy, godly and obedient lives.

You remember, our Lord said in John 15, "without me, you can do nothing." Let me ask you, is obedience something? Yes. Is reverence something? Yes. Is submission something? Yes. What's that mean? It means we need the grace of God.

Now, let me show you, look back in your Bibles, Ephesians 5 and verse 21. And I covered this last week, ladies, you will remember this, those of you who were here. God does not just simply demand that you be in submission. Husbands must be in submission to Christ. Children must be in submission to their parents. Servants must be in submission to their masters. Employees must be in submission to their employers. And therefore, in Ephesians 5 and verse 21, our Lord says it like this. Look carefully. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21.

I'm not even there myself. Here it is Ephesians 5 verse 21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." That is, we all have an area of submission. Calvin said it like this, listen carefully. "God has bound us so strongly to each other that no man ought to endeavor to avoid subjection. And where love reigns, mutual services will be rendered. I do not accept kings and governors, whose very authority is held for the service of the community. It is highly proper that all should be exhorted to be subject to each other in their turn." How about that? So that means this. As the husband is in subjection to Christ, the wife is to be in subjection to the husband. The children are to be in subjection to the parents. For this is the will of God and the individual roles that God has ordained for husbands, wives, and children.

Now, ladies, let me encourage you. When I return, I'll be dealing with the husband, so make sure that you're here and make sure that your husband is here. All right, let's pray. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your grace and your mercy today. We're so thankful, Lord, that you have ordained the family. You've instituted the roles of the family of each individual member. Give us grace, Lord, that we may understand these roles, and to serve the Lord with reverence and godly fear, fulfill those roles that we may honor Thee and obey Thee and have joyful, successful and prosperous lives in obedience to Thy Word. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.

Study Guide

Major Themes

Submission as a Divine Ordinance

Summary: The wife's submission is not optional but commanded by God, rooted in creation, the fall, and redemption.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'the ground of the wife's submission to her husband is simply because God has constituted and ordained it to be so.'

Typology of Christ and the Church

Summary: The husband-wife relationship is designed to typify and symbolize the relationship between Christ and the church.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'the role of the wife is to emulate and typify the role of the church, and the role of the husband is to emulate and typify the role of Christ.'

Reverence for the Husband's Office

Summary: Wives must reverence their husbands, respecting the office of headship even when the husband is imperfect.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'you have to honor the office of authority. Even though there happens to be someone in that office who is dishonorable or who is not right.'

Limits of Submission

Summary: Submission does not require obedience to commands contrary to God's Word; God's authority is higher.

Evidence: Weaver clarifies, 'God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if she is commanded by her husband to do so.'

Need for Grace in Obedience

Summary: Fulfilling the biblical roles requires the grace of God, as obedience is impossible without Christ.

Evidence: Weaver cites John 15:5, 'without me, you can do nothing,' and applies it to submission and reverence.

Key Arguments

The redemptive pattern demands the wife's submission

Summary: If a Christian can be saved without bowing to Christ's lordship, then a Christian wife could be saved without submitting to her husband, destroying the parallel in Ephesians 5.

Evidence: Weaver argues, 'If a real, genuine Christian can be saved and never bow to the kingship and lordship of Jesus Christ, then a real, genuine Christian wife can be saved and never be in submission to her husband.'

Submission is in everything, with one exception

Summary: The command to submit 'in everything' is all-inclusive, but the husband has no authority to command what is contrary to Scripture.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'Christ has never given the husband authority to ask his wife or to demand that his wife do something that is contrary to the word of God.'

Reverence does not mean blind agreement

Summary: A wife may disagree with her husband and lovingly point out errors, but must do so respectfully, honoring his office.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office.'

Submission is voluntary but not optional

Summary: While submission is a voluntary act, it is commanded by God and therefore not optional for the Christian wife.

Evidence: Weaver notes, 'While it is a voluntary submission, I pointed out it was not optional because God commanded it.'

Scripture References

Ephesians 5:21-24

Context: Primary text for the sermon, commanding mutual submission and specifically wives' submission to husbands as the church submits to Christ.

Ephesians 5:33

Context: Command for the wife to reverence her husband, used to discuss the climate of submission.

Genesis 3:16

Context: The punitive decree where God tells the woman her desire shall be to her husband and he shall rule over her.

1 Corinthians 11:3

Context: Referenced earlier in the series to show God's ordained order: God, Christ, man, woman.

1 Peter 3:6

Context: Sarah's example of obeying Abraham and calling him lord, used to illustrate reverence without slavish fear.

1 Peter 3:15

Context: Command to give an answer with meekness and fear, showing 'fear' means reverence.

1 Peter 2:17

Context: Command to honor the king, used to illustrate honoring the office even when the person is dishonorable.

1 Timothy 5:1

Context: Instruction not to rebuke an elder but entreat him as a father, paralleling how wives should respectfully address husbands.

Acts 5:29

Context: Peter's statement 'We ought to obey God rather than men,' used to show the limit of submission when commands contradict God.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Context: Bringing every thought captive to Christ, illustrating the totality of the church's submission to Christ.

John 15:5

Context: Without Christ we can do nothing, applied to the need for grace in obedience.

Ephesians 6:5

Context: Servants obeying masters as unto the Lord, paralleling the wife's religious submission.

Ephesians 5:32

Context: The mystery of Christ and the church, referenced as the basis for the typology.

Historical References

Albert Barnes, commentary on Ephesians 5:33

Context: Barnes is quoted on the meaning of 'reverence' as respect for the husband's office, not slavish fear.

John Calvin, commentary on Ephesians 5:33

Context: Calvin is quoted on reverence leading to willing subjection.

John Calvin, commentary on mutual submission

Context: Calvin's statement that God has bound us to each other so that no one should avoid subjection.

Important Quotes

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Significance: Key verse establishing the wife's duty of submission as a religious act.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Significance: Defines the extent of submission and the typological parallel.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Significance: Command for the climate of submission—reverence.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Significance: Establishes the broader context of mutual submission in the body of Christ.

We ought to obey God rather than man.

Significance: The biblical limit of submission when human authority contradicts God's commands.

Discussion Questions

How does understanding the wife's submission as a picture of the church's submission to Christ change the way we view this command?

Context: Weaver emphasizes the redemptive pattern in Ephesians 5:22-24.

What are practical ways a wife can show reverence to her husband even when she disagrees with him?

Context: Weaver discusses the climate of submission and the example of 1 Timothy 5:1.

Why is it important to distinguish between the office of headship and the person holding it?

Context: Weaver explains that husbands are not always right, but the office must be honored.

How does the doctrine of the lordship of Christ relate to the wife's submission?

Context: Weaver argues that denying Christ's lordship destroys the parallel in Ephesians 5.

In what areas might a wife be tempted to exempt herself from submission, and how does the 'in everything' command challenge that?

Context: Weaver discusses the extent of submission and common perversions of the text.

Applications

Reflect the church's submission to Christ

Summary: Wives should see their submission as a living picture of the church's relationship to Christ, making it a witness to their children and others.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'One of the truest examples and witnesses to your children is how you react and how you respond and how you relive in relation to your husband.'

Ground conduct in doctrine

Summary: Obedience must be based on understanding biblical doctrine; duty flows from doctrine.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'It is the doctrine that describes your duty. It's the doctrine that informs you how to fulfill your duty.'

Depend on God's grace

Summary: Recognize the desperate need for God's grace to live in submission, reverence, and obedience.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'you must now see the desperate need that we have of the grace of God in our lives in order for us to live holy, godly and obedient lives.'

Honor the office, not just the man

Summary: Wives should reverence the husband's God-given office even when the husband is imperfect, disagreeing respectfully when necessary.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office.'

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T12:31:24Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-05T21:30:48Z

Clean Transcript

The Family - Part 6

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

Well, let's open our Bibles then today to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. And I'll take a few minutes and review and then we'll pick up where we left off. Ephesians chapter 5. We've been dealing with the subject of the family for the last five weeks. This is the sixth week and there's probably going to be another four or five messages after this trying to deal with this as it is given to us in the Word of God. But let's read Ephesians chapter 5, beginning there with verse 21. The scripture says, "...submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
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"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it."
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Now, let me just stop there for today, because that's all I'm going to get to cover. But let me remind you that we've covered the first two messages on the dominion aspect of the family, showing how God had ordained and instituted the family to be an instrument of dominion to honor Him and to serve Him and to glorify Him, and to bring the earth into subjugation unto God as we use it for His honor and His glory. And then thirdly, I dealt with a message on creation differences, showing how God created men and women differently. And of course, He created them differently for their roles in the family. And of course, we found out that women were created differently not only physically, but judgmentally and emotionally as well. And then the fourth message I dealt with was God's ordained order.
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And I showed from 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3 and throughout the Bible that God had it like this: God, Christ, man, woman. And then I showed you through the Bible how it was emphasized over and over that God created Adam first. The man was first formed, then the woman. And we looked at all of those passages in 1 Corinthians chapter 11. And then last week we began looking at the roles that God has ordained for each member of the family.
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And we're not only going to cover the role of the wife, but the role of the husband, and the role of the children, and the role of the father and the mother, and then get into some other things as well. But last week we began with the role of the wife.
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Now, I did not get to finish the message last week, but I want to just take a moment and review having read several passages from Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians chapter 3, 1 Peter chapter 3. The key word for the wife was what? You remember? Go ahead and say it. Submit. That is correct because over and over that was the word that was given. So we look then in Ephesians chapter 5 and especially there at verses 22 and 23, and I shared with you the nature of that submission that God requires. We found, first of all, that the submission was to be a voluntary submission. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." While it is a voluntary submission, I pointed out it was not optional because God commanded it. And I explained that in the message last week. Secondly, it is to be an exclusive submission. "Submit yourselves to your own husbands."
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And I shared with you from Scripture that there is a general deference that women give to men in public. For instance, like in Acts 16, where there's a woman's prayer meeting down by the riverside and the women were totally in charge until Paul went there and then they asked Paul to take over, which was fine. But when the Bible is speaking about "wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," the word is idios, which means that which exclusively or particularly belongs to you. So although Alice would be kind and gracious to any man, she would not give any other man the submission that she gives to me because it is to be an exclusive submission. Then thirdly, I pointed out, it is to be a religious submission. The scripture says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord." In other words, part of a wife's submission to her husband is her submission to God. Part of her worship of God is her submission to her husband. So whatever she does to the husband, it is to be as unto the Lord.
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And I pointed out in Ephesians 6, when God says, "Servants, be obedient to your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling and singleness of heart as unto the Lord." In other words, as the servant was to look beyond the master and see the Lord, so the wife is to look beyond the husband and see the Lord. So it is a religious submission. Fourthly, it is an ordained submission because he says in verse 23, "For the husband is the head of the wife." In other words, God ordained it that way.
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Now, today I want to continue with the rest of last week's message. Having looked at the nature of submission, let's begin with the second point, the ground of submission. I could summarize the ground of submission very easily. I could just simply say the ground of the wife's submission to her husband is simply because God has constituted and ordained it to be so. He ordained the family and he set the structure in the family. Now, instead of me just saying that, I'm going to give you the three heads under which God has given us for the ground of submission. First of all, there is the created order, and I'm not going to re-preach this because I preached this in the fourth message, but in Genesis 1, Genesis 2, 1 Timothy 2, and 1 Corinthians 11, over and over, Scripture emphasizes "for the man was created first, then the woman." So, here is God's intentional order in creation. However, allow me to point out this simple truth. And I pointed this out when I gave the fourth message.
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The tendency of the woman to follow was embedded in her when she came forth from the hand of her creator. Why? Because God created the woman according to 1 Corinthians 11 and Genesis 2 to be a help meet or a help answerable to and suitable to the man. So when God created the woman, when she came forth from the hand of her creator, she came forth then as a help meet, and it was embedded in her to be a follower of her husband. Let me say this. If sin had not entered into the world, the most normal thing for a woman to do would be in submission to her husband. If sin had not entered in the world, the most normal thing for a man to do would be to love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. But in the created order, it was Adam first, and then Eve. So, the very first ground is the created order. The second ground is the punitive decree. If you will hold Ephesians chapter 5, but look in your Bibles please, back to Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16. Let me just point it out again.
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I did previously, but Genesis 3, verse 16, here's the punitive decree. Remember, the man was punished for his sin, the serpent was punished for his sin, and the woman is now punished for her sin. And he says in Genesis 3, verse 16, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow in thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
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Now, let me just simply point out the fact that that was how God created it initially and originally. The man was to be over the wife.
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Now, however, as part of her punishment for her sin, she is now not only going to be in submission, but now her submission is going to be onerous because of her sin and simply because of her rebellion. Otherwise, it would have been normal and natural.
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Now, the third point I want to make under this, if you will turn back to Ephesians 5, and this is where most of the message is going to come in today, there is the redemptive pattern. So we're talking about the ground of a woman's submission. There is the created order. Creative order: God created a man first, then the woman. There's the punitive decree where God decreed that the woman's desire was to be to her husband, he would rule over her. Now the redemptive pattern: look in your Bibles Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, I want you to note that in our text, Christ is mentioned and the church is mentioned, as well as the husband is mentioned and the wife is mentioned.
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So there is a relationship now that exists between Christ and the church and the husband and the wife. So you have to ask, what is that relationship and what is that connection? Well, let me state it very clearly that in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, and I'm going to say this several times today, but in the context of Ephesians chapter 5, the role of the wife is to emulate and typify the role of the church, and the role of the husband is to emulate and typify the role of Christ. So the relation that exists between Christ and his church is to be typified and symbolized and emulated between the husband and the wife. So you have Christ and the church over here, you have the husband and the wife over here, and the husband and wife relationship is to typify and symbolize and be emblematic of that relationship that Christ has with His church. Now, stop and think just for a moment about the relationship that Christ has to His church. The Church, of course, is to present to Jesus Christ a loving, obedient, pervasive, and voluntary submission as He is the Head of the Church.
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The Apostle Paul did not and could not conceive of anyone who is a true Christian who is not in submission to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it is normal and natural for a man who is saved by grace to bow to Christ. So the reality that forms this comparison is that as the church, as Christians, are in subjection to Jesus Christ, so the wives, therefore, are to be in subjection to their husbands.
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Now, I want you to note very carefully what the Bible says. Look in verse 24. And I believe that Paul chose his words carefully. "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ." I want you to note, he did not say "as the church should be subject to Christ," or "as the church ought to be subject to Christ," or "as the church could be subject to Christ." No. He said "as the church is subject to Christ."
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Now, let me remind you of something, that the word "subject" in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 24 is exactly the same word as "submit" in Ephesians 5 and verse 22. So when the Bible says, "wives submit," and when the Bible says that "the church is subject unto Christ," it is exactly the same word. Moreover, listen to me now, the word "subject" is in the present tense. What does that mean? That means that there is to be a constant, continual, progressive submission to Christ. Likewise, there should be a constant, continual, progressive submission of the wife to the husband.
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Now let me show you a very important theological point. You see, there are those who deny the Lordship of Jesus Christ. There are those who would try to say that, look, you may be saved and never bow to Jesus Christ. In other words, you may receive Christ as your prophet and your priest, but you do not have to receive Him as your king. Well, let me just point out the fact that those who hold that position destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us here in Ephesians chapter 5. Now, think about this. Think about this. If a real, genuine Christian can be saved and never bow to the kingship and lordship of Jesus Christ, then a real, genuine Christian wife can be saved and never be in submission to her husband. You see what I'm trying to show you? It will destroy the parallel in this passage. No, Paul could not conceive of a man being saved and not bowing to the lordship of Christ, just like he could not conceive of a Christian woman not voluntarily submitting to her husband.
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And if you say that one does not need to bow to the Lordship of Christ, then you destroy the redemptive pattern that is given to us in Ephesians chapter 5. Therefore, wives who are not in subjection to their husbands misrepresent and pervert one of the most sacred truths of Scripture. Let me say this again. The wife's submission to her husband is to picture the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Her submission to her husband is to be analogous to the submission of the church to Jesus Christ. Let me just say it very bluntly again. The wife's submission is to picture, is to be emblematical of, it's to be symbolical of, it's to be demonstrative of, it's to be a true picture of the Christian's submission to Christ. Now, if you look in Ephesians 5 and verse 32, and I'm going to deal with this later on in this series, the apostle says "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." And what Paul is doing is comparing now the relationship of Christ and his church and the relationship of the husband and the wife.
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And he says it's a great mystery. Well, it may be a mystery. And some points may be difficult to comprehend and some points may be difficult to understand, yet you have to agree that it's plain rebellion to misrepresent that relationship that exists between Christ and his church, which should be symbolized between the wife and the husband. So Christ then has ordained the role of the wife to be symbolical of the role of the church.
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So the ground of her submission is the creative order, the punitive decree, and the redemptive pattern. Now look in verse 24 because thirdly, here is the extent of the submission. The Bible says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
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Now, the little word, pas, great word, P-A-S, pas, is found in verse 24. That's where it is translated as "everything," literally "in all things."
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Now, let me point this out. And ladies, hang on, because I'm going to do some further explanation, but the scripture does not demand that wives submit to their husbands when it is convenient, or when the husbands know more, or when the husbands appear to be right. No, it just simply says you submit to your husbands in everything. Now, let me explain this a little bit further. You see, all of us have heard numerous jokes concerning this issue. One that I heard years ago was about the man who bragged how he was the head of his house and that he made all the big decisions and he allowed his wife to make the little decisions. And someone asked him, said, "Well, what kind of big decisions do you make? And what kind of little decisions does your wife make?" He said, "I make all the big decisions like, should America go to war with Russia?"
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"Or what should the lending rate be from the Federal Reserve? My wife covers all the little things like where we should live, what kind of car we should drive, where the kids go to school, what we wear." You see what he was saying? He was actually saying that his wife basically ran the show. Now, we laugh at those things and we can laugh at them when they're not true. But unhappily, in most instances, they are true. There was also the man who stated publicly in front of his wife and others he was the head in his house. And his wife agreed.
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And she said, "I'm just the neck. But the neck turns the head." You see what I'm saying? And then, of course, there's the T-shirts that everybody sees. "The rooster rules the roost. But I rule the rooster." Well, that's just another way of saying it. We can laugh at those things, and some of them are cute, some of them are funny. But the sad thing is, in most homes, it's really no laughing matter. Now, let me just show you something. Ladies, look at this. Look in verse 24.
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"Therefore, watch the parallel now. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, when the Bible says, "so let the wives be subject to their husbands in everything," it literally refers to the totality of life.
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Now, ask yourself this question. Look at it in verse 24. "Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." How many exemptions are there for the church not to be in submission to Christ? Can we jokingly say that we the church rule the head which is Christ? No, we cannot do that. Can we say as the church that there are areas, there are departments, and there are times that we are exempted from obedience to Christ? No. What does the Bible say in 2 Corinthians 10, verse 5? "Bringing every thought into captivity to Jesus Christ." Now, as the church is subject unto Christ in everything, there is not one area in which the church is not to be in subjection to Jesus Christ. And he says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything" or "in all things."
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Now, let me stop preaching right here and go to meddling, all right? Because let me explain how this text is usually perverted. Let me explain to you the errors that most people fall into when they read this text. "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." So let me talk to the men just for a moment. Men, simply because your wife is required by scripture to be in submission to you
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does not mean that you may run roughshod over her, and discount her counsel, and discount her personhood. What do I mean by that? Well, you have to go back to those earlier messages that I preached on the family in the last five weeks, and I demonstrated from Scripture, where the woman was equally created in the image of God, just like the man was. What does that mean? That means that the woman is a person as well. She is an image bearer of God, and she has been gifted in areas that men have not been gifted in. The fact that the wife is required to be in submission to her husband does not mean, therefore, ma'am, that you may ignore her or pretend like she has no input into anything that concerns her or the family or pretend like she has absolutely nothing to contribute.
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Let me ask you a question. I want you to think about this very seriously. How would you like it, men? How would you receive it if other people made decisions concerning you and your life without either notifying you or consulting with you? You wouldn't like that too well. In fact, you'd be incensed. And you would say, "Look, I'm a person. And I'm intelligent. And I've got sense. And you need to consult me before you start making decisions concerning my life." Well, you apply the same to your wife. Your wife may be required to be in submission to you, but that does not mean that you ignore her. It does not mean that you disregard her person. It does not mean that you have absolutely nothing to contribute. It is true. Listen carefully. It is true that the husband is responsible to make the ultimate decision. And the wife may be included in that decision, but it does not mean, therefore, that she is to be ignored or not consulted with. In fact, I'll be honest with you, since God has gifted the woman differently than the man, many times the wife may have insight and discernment and knowledge that not only might help you make a decision, it might help save your hide.
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Submission does not mean that you ignore your wife. Does not mean that you do not consult her. Does not mean that you refuse to talk with her. Does not mean that you refuse to discuss things with her. Now the Bible says that the wife is to be in submission to the man in everything. But it does not mean, therefore, that she can be ignored and overlooked and discounted as if she has nothing to say and no input and no importance.
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Now, let me clarify something else since I'm talking to men right here. Another important area that needs to be clarified is that when God requires that the wife be in submission in everything, and we understand that the term "everything" is all inclusive, yet you must understand that there is also an exception to this command. Do you know what that exception is? Let me give you a primer, let me ask you a question. How many times is our Lord commanded or asked,
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as the head of the church, that the church do something that's contrary to his word? Does Christ ever ask the church to do anything unbiblical? No. No, not at all. Listen carefully. Likewise, Christ has never given the husband authority to ask his wife or to demand that his wife do something that is contrary to the word of God. I may be the head of my wife, but men, when I get to "husbands, love your wives," I'm going to point out some things.
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We are to be their heads for their good, not for their detriment, not for their destruction. Christ never asked the church to do anything contrary to his word. And the husband never has authority from Christ to ask the wife to do anything that's contrary to the law of God. Do you remember when Peter and the other apostles were preaching in Acts chapter 5 and they were captured? And the ruler said, "You're not going to preach anymore in the name of Christ, we command you don't do this." You remember what Peter said and the other apostles, they said, "We ought to obey God rather than man." Now, what's that mean? That means, husbands, if you want to make sure that your wife does not submit to you, then you act tyrannically and unbiblically. Whenever you ask your wife or demand that your wife do something that's contrary to the word of God or act in a manner displeasing to the Lord, and that which is wicked and wrong, you're acting outside of your headship and outside of your authority.
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That's simple. In such situations, the wife ought to look to her husband and very sweetly and gently say, "Well, sweetheart, I'd really like to submit to you, but I'm not being rebellious to you, I want to be in submission. But what you're asking is contrary to the word of God. And according to scripture, I must obey God rather than man, because God is the highest authority and my ultimate submission and subjection is to him. You have no authority to ask me to go contrary to the word of God."
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So let me just make this plain. Biblical submission does not include submission to tyranny and wickedness. That's simple. God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if she is commanded by her husband to do so. You know, you can make this thing so simple. I don't have to look at Alice and say, "I don't have enough money to pay my bills this month. Take this pistol and go rob the bank so I can have the money to pay my bills." I don't have authority to tell her to violate the law of God. God says "Thou shalt not steal." God has not set me up as some type of little tyrant to enable me to constantly and continually violate His Word. So God does not expect a wife to violate His Word even if commanded by her husband to do so. On the other hand, God expects a wife to obey Him since He is the highest authority, and she must understand that God never gave the husband the authority to go contrary to the word.
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So, the ground of submission is the created order, the punitive decree, the redemptive pattern, and now we see the extent of that submission in all things with the exception that we have no right to ask them to go contrary to the Word of God. And fourthly today, I want you to look at the climate of that submission. Look in your Bibles to verse 33. The Bible says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Wow. The wife is to see that she reverence her husband. What does that mean? Well, the Greek word for "reverence" is the root word phobeo, which is the word for fear. It's the standard word for fear. However, the word is also used to indicate reverence. Here it is used to indicate reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, reverential obedience. The word is sometimes used also to mean to stand in awe or to stand in amazement.
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Now, let me just explain it like this, I'm going to show you the scripture. If you are standing in awe, if you are reverencing, you're not ridiculing, you're not mocking, you're not making light of someone's position or authority.
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Now, I want you to look in your Bibles, hold Ephesians 5, but turn to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3. Let's look at verse 6 and then verse 15. We're going to see the same word, fear. 1 Peter 3 and verse 6.
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"Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." You know, after 45 years of marriage, I still can't get Alice to call me lord. I don't know why. Just can't get her to bow down, Timothy. I don't understand that. But Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.
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Now look what he says. "Whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." Now look in verse 15. Here's the same word, fear. Look at it. Verse 15. "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear." Now, very obviously, the word "fear" here, as well as the other, does not mean to be afraid of and to tremble and to shake and be fearful for your life.
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That's not what it's talking about. But it has to do with reverence. It has to do with respect. Albert Barnes, in his commentary, said this on the word fear, he said to the women, "so long as you perform your duty with a resolute mind, and keep from that which is contrary to your faith, or as long as you subject yourselves to your husbands willingly, cheerfully, and without slavish fear of being
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losers by your obedience, and fearing the worse for your patience and submission." But in verse 15, when he says, "sanctify the Lord God in your heart and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of hope that is in you with meekness and fear," once again, it's the word phobeo. And certainly it has reference there to reverence. Now, God then requires the wife to reverence her husband. What's that mean? Well, there's a passage in 1 Peter 2, in verse 17, where we have another command, look back there, 1 Peter 2, verse 17. God says, "Honour all men," that's general. "Love the brotherhood," that's general. "Fear God," that's specific. "Honour the king," that's specific. Now, what does God mean when he says, "Honour the king"?
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Let me ask you a question. Are kings always honorable? No. Are they always right? No. What God is saying is this. You have to honor the office of authority. Even though there happens to be someone in that office who is dishonorable or who is not right. And Lord, you don't despise the office just because the man in it happens to be wrong or at times happens to be wicked.
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Now, I'm going to let you women know something today that probably you've never thought of. It's probably never entered your mind, but here it is. Men are not always right. Now, I know that comes as a surprise to some of you, doesn't it? It comes as a shock. We're not always right. We can be ugly. Well, other men can. You saw the look there. Sometimes we can be ugly. Sometimes we can be downright hateful. All I'm pointing out is this. The husband is not always right. He's not always honorable. But he's always the husband. And he's always in the office that God has ordained for him. So while someone can hold an office and be disrespectful and dishonorable, does not mean that you dishonor the office. You must reverence that office.
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Now, let me ask you a question. Ladies, here it is laid out for you. In Ephesians 5, verse 33, God says that the wife see that she reverence her husband. Now, here's my question. How do you reverence your husband? Do you reverence him by always agreeing with him? And always admitting that he is right? And the answer is, of course not. Because he's not always right. You may disagree with your husband. Ladies, listen carefully.
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I'm going to show you a scripture. You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office. For the office that he holds is that of the head of the wife, and the head of the family which God has ordained and which God has appointed. Now let me show you a parallel. I want you to look in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 1. Watch carefully. 1 Timothy 5 verse 1. Here's what the Scripture says.
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"Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren." Now, an elder in this passage is not just an older man, but the word elder is a term for a pastor in the Bible. So literally, here's what he says. "Rebuke not a pastor, but intreat him as a father."
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Now, let me ask you, are pastors always right? No. But they do have an office. Now, can a pastor sin? Yes. Can a pastor be wrong? Yes. Can a pastor be confronted when he sins and when he is wrong? Yes. Because he's not only a pastor, he's also a brother. And that means that he may be confronted as a brother. But look what God says. God says, when you go to confront a pastor, you better make sure that you rebuke him not, but you intreat him as a father. Now, let me ask you, when you were a child and you disagreed with your father, did you go up to your earthly father and shake your finger in his face and say, "Let me tell you something, and let me tell you something right now"? Did you do that? If you had a father like mine, you only did it once. No. But even as a grown son, I never did that to my father, and there were plenty of times I disagreed with him.
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But what does it mean? It means you have to treat him with respect. You have to respect the office that he's holding. So that means if I sin, since you're my Christian brothers and sisters in the Lord, you would have the right to come to me lovingly and gently and say, "Pastor, may I point something out for you from scripture? Let me show you where you're violating the word of God."
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And hey, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you want to come up and get mad at me and shake your finger in my face and cuss me out, there's something wrong with that. Because Scripture says, "Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father." It's the same thing, ladies, with your husbands. It doesn't mean that you can't disagree with them. It doesn't mean that you can't lovingly help them see the error of their ways and thus correct them. But it means that you must do so respectfully, reverencing their office as being the head of a wife and head of the family, he must be treated as a father and as the head of the house.
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Now, let me give you a couple of quotes. On the word reverence, "the wife see that she reverence her husband," here's what Albert Barnes, the commentator said, just to show you that I'm in the line of historical commentators, here it is, Barnes wrote, "The meaning is that it was the special duty of the wife to show respect for her husband as the head of the family and as set over her in the Lord. The word rendered reverence is that which usually notes fear, phobeo. She is to fear, that is, to honor, to respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority, no disregard of the arrangement which God has made and that no order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law." So he's saying, look, God is simply requiring you to respect the office that your husband has over you. And here's what Calvin said on reverence.
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"Husbands are required to love their wives, and wives to fear their husbands, understanding by fear that reverence which will lead them to be submissive, which reverence does not exist, or where reverence does not exist, there will be no willing subjection." Now, when God says "wives, see that you reverence your husband," I would suggest that the reverence that is demanded arises from the two main factors I've already told you. The first one is the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the head of the family.
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You say, "Well, I don't like that." Well, then you have to take that up with the Lord because he's the one who made you a woman. He's the one who created you. And he's the one who ordained the man to be the head of the house. I'm sorry. So there's the fact that the husband is the head of the wife and the family. And secondly, from the recognition of the reality that such reverence has been ordained by God, God instituted it so. So your argument is not with man. Your argument is with God. So the Bible says the climate is the wife see that she reverence the husband.
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Now, let me make some applications today. Here we go. First to the wives. It's imperative that you remember that your position is to reflect the position of the church to Christ. God has ordained that your role in the family be reflective of and demonstrative of the role of the church to Jesus Christ. The church is not only to be in submission to Christ, it is to reverence Christ as her head. Ladies, please remember this.
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One of the truest examples and witnesses to your children is how you react and how you respond and how you relive in relation to your husband. And I'm going to tell you, the sad thing is our children usually turn out to be the kind of wives and husbands that we are. So if we give them a wrong example, they're going to be wrong in their lives. Our children will inevitably develop the same attitudes which they perceive in their parents. Wives must be in submission in order to be in obedience to Christ, to honor their husbands as their head, and to give a living example to their children.
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Now, the second application is this. In order for your conduct to be biblical, it must be grounded and founded upon doctrine. It is the doctrine that describes your duty. It's the doctrine that informs you how to fulfill your duty. You must grasp the doctrine in order to be obedient. So make sure that you understand that your duty is always based upon doctrine. If you understand the doctrine that's been taught, then your duty should be obvious. The third application is this. Since everything I've just given you is true, you must now see the desperate need that we have of the grace of God in our lives in order for us to live holy, godly and obedient lives.
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You remember, our Lord said in John 15, "without me, you can do nothing." Let me ask you, is obedience something? Yes. Is reverence something? Yes. Is submission something? Yes. What's that mean? It means we need the grace of God.
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Now, let me show you, look back in your Bibles, Ephesians 5 and verse 21. And I covered this last week, ladies, you will remember this, those of you who were here. God does not just simply demand that you be in submission. Husbands must be in submission to Christ. Children must be in submission to their parents. Servants must be in submission to their masters. Employees must be in submission to their employers. And therefore, in Ephesians 5 and verse 21, our Lord says it like this. Look carefully. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21.
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I'm not even there myself. Here it is Ephesians 5 verse 21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." That is, we all have an area of submission. Calvin said it like this, listen carefully. "God has bound us so strongly to each other that no man ought to endeavor to avoid subjection. And where love reigns, mutual services will be rendered. I do not accept kings and governors, whose very authority is held for the service of the community. It is highly proper that all should be exhorted to be subject to each other in their turn." How about that? So that means this. As the husband is in subjection to Christ, the wife is to be in subjection to the husband. The children are to be in subjection to the parents. For this is the will of God and the individual roles that God has ordained for husbands, wives, and children.
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Now, ladies, let me encourage you. When I return, I'll be dealing with the husband, so make sure that you're here and make sure that your husband is here. All right, let's pray. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask for your grace and your mercy today. We're so thankful, Lord, that you have ordained the family. You've instituted the roles of the family of each individual member. Give us grace, Lord, that we may understand these roles, and to serve the Lord with reverence and godly fear, fulfill those roles that we may honor Thee and obey Thee and have joyful, successful and prosperous lives in obedience to Thy Word. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.
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This program was produced by Dominion Ministry. For more information about Pastor Weaver's sermons, you may contact Dominion Ministry by mail at 7400 Abercorn, that's A-B-E-R-C-O-R-N Street, Suite 705, P-M-B 175, Savannah, Georgia, 31406. Or give us a call at 912-925-0995.
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You can also visit our website at www.dominionministry.com
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T12:31:24Z

The Family - Part 6

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

In this sermon, John Weaver continues his series on the family by focusing on the wife's role of submission as outlined in Ephesians 5. He reviews the nature of submission (voluntary, exclusive, religious, ordained) and then expounds the ground of submission (created order, punitive decree, redemptive pattern), the extent of submission (in everything, with the exception of commands contrary to God's Word), and the climate of submission (reverence). The husband-wife relationship is presented as a typology of Christ and the church, with the wife's submission picturing the church's submission to Christ. Applications emphasize the need for grace, doctrinal grounding, and the example set for children.

Review of Previous Messages

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 5:21-24

"...submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

Review of the Wife's Role: Nature of Submission

The key word for the wife is 'submit.' Submission is voluntary, exclusive, religious, and ordained by God.

The Ground of Submission

Scripture Reading — Genesis 3:16

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow in thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Now, let me just simply point out the fact that that was how God created it initially and originally. The man was to be over the wife.

The Extent of Submission

Scripture Reading — 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Therefore, watch the parallel now. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Now, when the Bible says, "so let the wives be subject to their husbands in everything," it literally refers to the totality of life. Now, ask yourself this question. Look at it in verse 24. "Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." How many exemptions are there for the church not to be in submission to Christ? Can we jokingly say that we the church rule the head which is Christ? No, we cannot do that. Can we say as the church that there are areas, there are departments, and there are times that we are exempted from obedience to Christ? No. What does the Bible say in 2 Corinthians 10, verse 5? "Bringing every thought into captivity to Jesus Christ." Now, as the church is subject unto Christ in everything, there is not one area in which the church is not to be in subjection to Jesus Christ. And he says, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything" or "in all things."

The Climate of Submission: Reverence

Wives are commanded to reverence their husbands, meaning to respect the office of headship even when the husband is not always right. This reverence is rooted in God's ordination.

Applications

The Family - Part 6

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	111071123551
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-09-30
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 6
Source Timed Segments	64

Lecture Guide

Outline

Review of Previous Messages: Weaver summarizes the first five messages: dominion aspect of the family, creation differences between men and women, God's ordained order (God, Christ, man, woman), and the beginning of the roles in the family.
Review of the Wife's Role: Nature of Submission: The key word for the wife is 'submit.' Submission is voluntary, exclusive, religious, and ordained by God.
The Ground of Submission: The wife's submission is grounded in the created order (Adam first, then Eve), the punitive decree (Genesis 3:16), and the redemptive pattern (the husband-wife relationship typifying Christ and the church).
The Extent of Submission: Wives are to submit to their husbands 'in everything,' meaning the totality of life, with the exception of commands contrary to God's Word. The parallel with the church's submission to Christ is emphasized.
The Climate of Submission: Reverence: Wives are commanded to reverence their husbands, meaning to respect the office of headship even when the husband is not always right. This reverence is rooted in God's ordination.
Applications: Wives must remember their role reflects the church's submission to Christ, their conduct must be grounded in doctrine, and they need God's grace to live obediently. The example set for children is crucial.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

The redemptive pattern demands the wife's submission

If a Christian can be saved without bowing to Christ's lordship, then a Christian wife could be saved without submitting to her husband, destroying the parallel in Ephesians 5.

Weaver argues, 'If a real, genuine Christian can be saved and never bow to the kingship and lordship of Jesus Christ, then a real, genuine Christian wife can be saved and never be in submission to her husband.'

Submission is in everything, with one exception

The command to submit 'in everything' is all-inclusive, but the husband has no authority to command what is contrary to Scripture.

Weaver states, 'Christ has never given the husband authority to ask his wife or to demand that his wife do something that is contrary to the word of God.'

Reverence does not mean blind agreement

A wife may disagree with her husband and lovingly point out errors, but must do so respectfully, honoring his office.

Weaver says, 'You may disagree with your husband. You may lovingly point out his errors and his sins. But you may not disrespect his office.'

Submission is voluntary but not optional

While submission is a voluntary act, it is commanded by God and therefore not optional for the Christian wife.

Weaver notes, 'While it is a voluntary submission, I pointed out it was not optional because God commanded it.'

Scripture References

Ephesians 5:21-24: Primary text for the sermon, commanding mutual submission and specifically wives' submission to husbands as the church submits to Christ.
Ephesians 5:33: Command for the wife to reverence her husband, used to discuss the climate of submission.
Genesis 3:16: The punitive decree where God tells the woman her desire shall be to her husband and he shall rule over her.
1 Corinthians 11:3: Referenced earlier in the series to show God's ordained order: God, Christ, man, woman.
1 Peter 3:6: Sarah's example of obeying Abraham and calling him lord, used to illustrate reverence without slavish fear.
1 Peter 3:15: Command to give an answer with meekness and fear, showing 'fear' means reverence.
1 Peter 2:17: Command to honor the king, used to illustrate honoring the office even when the person is dishonorable.
1 Timothy 5:1: Instruction not to rebuke an elder but entreat him as a father, paralleling how wives should respectfully address husbands.
Acts 5:29: Peter's statement 'We ought to obey God rather than men,' used to show the limit of submission when commands contradict God.
2 Corinthians 10:5: Bringing every thought captive to Christ, illustrating the totality of the church's submission to Christ.
John 15:5: Without Christ we can do nothing, applied to the need for grace in obedience.
Ephesians 6:5: Servants obeying masters as unto the Lord, paralleling the wife's religious submission.
Ephesians 5:32: The mystery of Christ and the church, referenced as the basis for the typology.

Historical References

Albert Barnes, commentary on Ephesians 5:33: Barnes is quoted on the meaning of 'reverence' as respect for the husband's office, not slavish fear.
John Calvin, commentary on Ephesians 5:33: Calvin is quoted on reverence leading to willing subjection.
John Calvin, commentary on mutual submission: Calvin's statement that God has bound us to each other so that no one should avoid subjection.

Important Quotes

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Key verse establishing the wife's duty of submission as a religious act.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Defines the extent of submission and the typological parallel.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Command for the climate of submission—reverence.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Establishes the broader context of mutual submission in the body of Christ.

We ought to obey God rather than man.

The biblical limit of submission when human authority contradicts God's commands.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

How does understanding the wife's submission as a picture of the church's submission to Christ change the way we view this command?

[Context]

Weaver emphasizes the redemptive pattern in Ephesians 5:22-24.

[Question]

What are practical ways a wife can show reverence to her husband even when she disagrees with him?

[Context]

Weaver discusses the climate of submission and the example of 1 Timothy 5:1.

[Question]

Why is it important to distinguish between the office of headship and the person holding it?

[Context]

Weaver explains that husbands are not always right, but the office must be honored.

[Question]

How does the doctrine of the lordship of Christ relate to the wife's submission?

[Context]

Weaver argues that denying Christ's lordship destroys the parallel in Ephesians 5.

[Question]

In what areas might a wife be tempted to exempt herself from submission, and how does the 'in everything' command challenge that?

[Context]

Weaver discusses the extent of submission and common perversions of the text.

Applications

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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-05T21:30:48Z