The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family

The Family - Part 8

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2007-10-28

Synopsis: John Weaver continues his series on the family by addressing the role of children from Ephesians 6:1-3. He emphasizes two key directives for children: obey and honor. The sermon focuses on the first directive—obedience—defining it as listening with intent to obey, stronger than submission, and required because it is righteousness. Weaver argues that children must hear the Word of God alongside their parents, that disobedience is rebellion against God, and that parents are to rule as prophet, priest, and king. He also briefly touches on biblical remedies for grown rebellious children, including capital punishment and disinheritance.

[John Weaver] Let's open our Bibles into the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 6 today. Ephesians chapter 6. And I will take a few moments and review. For those of you who have not been here in quite a while. Alright, Ephesians chapter 6. And of course we've been dealing with the family and we're still going to continue on that series for the next several weeks anyhow. And I just want to call your attention to the fact that I brought the first two messages dealing with the family and as an instrument of dominion. And of course, if you have forgotten those, I trust that you'll go back and listen to the tapes and refresh your mind how God created the family to be an instrument of dominion.

[John Weaver] Then I dealt with creation differences between men and women. and showed how they differed, not just physically, but emotionally and judgmentally as well. And then I showed God's intentional order, not only in creation, but in the family, how it is God, Christ, man, and woman. And in the family, He constituted the man as the head of the house. Alright? And then of course we began to look at the different roles that God has ordained to the members of the family.

[John Weaver] And we looked first of all at the wife. And so the key word for the wife was submit. And if you will remember that I told you it was a willing submission, but yet it was not optional because God commanded it. And I spent two messages dealing with the wife. And then last week I dealt with the role of the husband where the Bible says husbands love your wives. And of course, I pointed out how that is to be an exclusive love and a sacrificial love. And that we may not be able to love our wives quantitatively the way Christ does because Christ is God and he is capable of so much more love than we can ever give forth. But we may love our wives qualitatively, that is, with the same kind of love. So he says, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. So the wife is to submit and the husband is to love.

[John Weaver] Now, today we're going to come to Ephesians chapter 6, and we're going to read verses 1 through 3, because we're going to be dealing basically with the role of children. And let me just say that I'm only going to get half the message today, and the other half will be next Lord's Day. So, I want you to make sure that you are here next Lord's Day, because you're going to find out that when we're talking about children, it's not just little children. It's even adult children, because God has words for those who are little and for those who are old as well. So notice Ephesians chapter six, verse one, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right.

[John Weaver] Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment, the promise that it may be well with thee and thou mayst live long on the earth. Now, I want you to note. God had one key word for the wife, submit. God had one key word for the husband, love. But when it comes to the children, God has two key words, and that is obey and honor. And we live in a day when each of those concepts is despised. You look around today at the average home, the average family, children disobey, dishonor and live a life of rebellion. And they live that life of rebellion to the plain teaching of the Word of God. Now let me just tell you one of the main reasons that I believe that children are so disobedient and rebellious today. Here's the answer. Because they're not exposed to real biblical teaching and preaching. Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. There are a lot of Christian families that will say, well, I take my children to church.

[John Weaver] And yes, they do. And guess what happens when they go to that church? Their children are immediately taken from them and escorted to a junior church where everything is there watered down and given to the children on their level, so to speak. Let me point something out. Do you realize that God deals with children exactly as He deals with adults? That is, through His Word. There is no illumination, there is no enlightenment apart from the Word of God and apart from the Holy Spirit. I want you to look at the directives that God has given us in His Word. I want you to turn to three passages very quickly. And then I want to ask you some questions.

[John Weaver] The first one is Deuteronomy chapter 31 and verse 12. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Holy Ephesians 6, we're coming back there. Balik in Deuteronomy 31 and verse 12. Notice the directions that God gives. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Here it is, he says, gather the people together, men and women and children, and my stranger that is within my gates, that they may hear and that they may learn and fear the Lord your God, and observe to do all the words of this law. Now note carefully what he said, gather the people together, men, women and children, that they may hear. And that they may learn, and fear the Lord, and observe to do all the words of this law.

[John Weaver] Now look in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Turn right over to the book of Joshua. Joshua Judges. Look in Joshua chapter 8, verses 34 and 35. Joshua chapter 8. And notice if you would please, verses 34 And after he read all the words of the law, the blessings and the curses, according to all that is written in the book of the law, there was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not, before all the congregation of Israel,

[John Weaver] with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them." Note, if you would, he read all of the law. to the congregation with the women and the little ones.

[John Weaver] Now if you look in the book of Ezra chapter 10 and verse 1. Ezra chapter 10 and look at verse 1. Ezra 10 verse 1. Notice what the Bible says. Ezra chapter 10 verse 1. Now, when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled in him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children, for the people wept very sore." Isn't it interesting that each of these three passages, it was men, women, and children who came together?

[John Weaver] Now, let me ask you several questions. First of all, based upon these verses and certainly other principles in the Word of God, do you think that in the Bible families were together when the Word of God was spoken or read? Well, very obviously it was. Let me ask you a further question. If God has constituted the Father as the head of the house, and if the Father is responsible for what his children learn.

[John Weaver] How can he be sure they're being taught the truth if they're separated from him and taken to a different part of the building and instructed without his knowledge and without his hearing, without him knowing the content of that instruction? It's absolutely impossible. That is why I believe that God is saying here Men, women, and children are to hear the Word of God. Now, here's the argument. Let me show you. Some will say, well, Brother Weaver, don't you understand that when we have a junior church, they aren't hearing the Word of God. We've got to understand that children do not have the same level of intelligence that adults do. Adults are so much smarter, at least hopefully they should be, And therefore, what we have to do is try to speak to the children on their level so that they can understand the Word of God.

[John Weaver] Let me ask you a question. Answer this. Who can understand the Word of God apart from the illumination of the Holy Spirit? No one. Can an adult understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Can a child understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Do you realize the Holy Spirit is needed to open the eyes of both the young and the old?

[John Weaver] And He may do so without any difficulty whatsoever. And it doesn't matter whether that child is in the main preaching or anywhere else. No one is capable of understanding the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit. God only has one way of dealing with people. I don't care if they're men or women or children. And that one way is through His Word and by His Spirit. It does not matter if someone is a child like Samuel or someone is an adult like Saul of Tarsus. It still requires the illumination of the Holy Spirit to open the mind. Period. So why should you separate children? Why should they not be able to hear the pure, unadulterated Word of God?

[John Weaver] And when you try to argue, well, it's over their heads, it's also over the heads of the adults as well. And I can tell you, folks, I have been in a lot of churches and I have preached some of the simplest sermons. I mean, absolutely. To be honest, I was embarrassed to preach some of them. They were so simple. And yet I've had adults come up to me and say, oh, that is so deep and so profound.

[John Weaver] And I thought, Lord, have mercy. What level are you on? You see what I'm saying? I don't care how simple something is. I don't care how complex something is. The Holy Ghost can open the eyes of anyone. man, woman, or child.

[John Weaver] Now, children need to hear the Word of God. And they really need to hear the Word of God with their parents. That way, if there are any questions, they may ask their parents as well. Now, having told you one of my pet peeves and showing you what I believe is one of the reasons our children are so disobedient and so ignorant today of the Word of God, Let me ask this question, what are God's directives to children? Well, he actually gives two directives. The first one is found in verse one, look in Ephesians 6, children. Obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Now, that's as far as we're going to get today, but I'm going to go ahead and give you the second word, verse two, honor thy father and thy mother which is the first commandment of the promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayst live long on the earth. So two directives. He says obey and honor. Now let's go back to verse one. It begins with children.

[John Weaver] Children. Now, the Greek word for children is the little word techno. The word normally signifies those who are young, but here it is used, evidently, to denote those who were under the care and government of their parents, or those who were not of age, or, listen carefully, those who were of age, but chose to remain under the authority of their parents.

[John Weaver] What do you do with an adult child who's living at home? He's still a child. And it's still the parents home. And they still have the authority.

[John Weaver] Now, I'm going to explain a little bit more of that next week, but I'm just simply pointing out. This word is a very broad word and can be used not only of little tiny children, it can be used of teenagers, it can be used of what you and I would call grown children who are still living at home. And so God just simply says, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right.

[John Weaver] Now, let's go forward with the definition of obedience. He says, children, obey. So you have to ask this question, what does it mean to obey? In order to communicate, we have to understand terms. We have to understand and comprehend definitions. So if I'm going to define obey, I want to define it in such a way that you and I know what we're talking about and that we have the same idea in mind. First of all, The word obey is a very explicit term. It comes from the Greek word hypocho-o, which literally is translated in our Bible as obey, or to be obedient, and to hearken. The word originally had reference to a porter. You know what a porter was? I'm not talking about someone who carried something, but a porter was someone who stood at the door waiting for the knock, waiting for someone to say, open the door, And the porter then immediately reached out and he opened the door. So he's someone who listened, and he was someone who listened with the intent to obey.

[John Weaver] So when you hear the word obey that is used right here in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 1, it refers to someone who is listening, but it's not only listening, he's listening with the absolute intent to obey. He's someone who is waiting on instructions, and when he receives those instructions, he submits. and does exactly what he's instructed to do.

[John Weaver] Now, let me show you. Look in verse 1. Children, obey your parents. Just so there is no misunderstanding, skip down to verse 5. Servants or slaves, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, and singulars your heart as unto Christ.

[John Weaver] Now, let me ask you a question. Think about this. If you were my slave and I commanded you to do something, would you be obligated to obey me? And the answer is yes. The word obedient in verse 5 and the word obey in verse 1 are exactly the same word. So here's what God is saying to children. It's the children's responsibility to obey their parents just like it's the servant's or the slave's responsibility to obey his master's will.

[John Weaver] The application should be clear. The first duty that God has enjoined upon children is obedience. that is there to do exactly that which their parents have commanded them. So historically, practically, and biblically, it is the responsibility of children to obey.

[John Weaver] Now, the word obey is much stronger than the word submit. We look at the word submit when the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. But now when it comes to children, it says children obey. How can there be a difference between the words submit and obey? Here's the difference. Submission is the willing subjection of one person to another, whereas obedience is a more direct word and it demands action. It demands a response from someone who has the rightful authority to give that command. In other words, When I tell my children or my grandchildren what to do, what God is saying is this, they have a responsibility to obey. Why? Because I have the authority to command. So the word obey is a much stronger word than the word submit. Now, since children are to obey, obviously, They must be open to the direction of their parents.

[John Weaver] They must seek to understand those directions and they must carry out those directions to the best of their ability, fully intending to follow those directions. If I were to ask you as a parent, I want you to think about this. If I were to ask you as a parent, what is your response? When you give your child a directive or an order, and you find out that that child does what you've asked him to do, half-heartedly, sloppily, so much so that it would have been better off if you hadn't obeyed to begin with, what is your response to something like that?

[John Weaver] My question is this, does it not irritate you? Does it not make you say, look, delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience? And it is. And it is. I told my children, I tell my grandchildren, If anything is worth doing, it's worth doing right, and it's worth doing right the first time. And if you do something right the first time, you do not have to keep repeating it and doing it over and over. So, when children hear, and when children obey, they should do it right the first time. Now, let's ask a question. Why must children obey? Well, there are a lot of answers to that question. There are a lot of biblical answers. There are a lot of common sense answers. And I've always said this, and you've probably heard me say it, God has good sense. God does. Why in the world must children obey? Well, first of all, let me give you six reasons. Number one, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family. Obedience is necessary for the good order of a family.

[John Weaver] No family can function or be prosperous where there is not due subordination in the household. Do you think that I could possibly do what I do as a preacher and as a pastor without my wife? I couldn't. I have my role. She has her role. I could go further. Do you think that I could do what I do as a pastor and as a preacher without my grandchildren?

[John Weaver] Since my children are all grown. And the answer is no. The point I'm trying to show you is this, it takes order in any household to be functional and to be prosperous and to be successful. And if you have members of the household who are not willing to submit or not willing to obey, then you're going to have a breakdown in the family, you're going to have a breakdown in the household. So first of all, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family.

[John Weaver] Secondly, the welfare of the child depends upon his learning obedience. The welfare of a child depends upon his learning obedience. You know. I've often thought about this. Can you imagine what it is like? Let me rephrase it. Can you imagine what the future of a child will be like when that child has never learned to obey? A lot of families today are leaving their children to do their own thing.

[John Weaver] They don't want to interfere with their development. They're afraid they might warp their personality. I've got news for you. It's some other part of their anatomy that needs warping that will straighten out the personality. But, you know, well, we're going to let him do his own thing. Well, let me ask you a question. If the child has never learned to obey, how in the world can he ever hold down a job? If you work for me, I expect you to do what I ask you to do. If you want me to pay you, I expect you to do not only what I ask you to do, but the way that I ask you to do it. How can a child fit into a school situation, an educational situation? How could he fit into a social situation? A child that has never learned to obey just simply cannot function in society.

[John Weaver] And I'll tell you what tickles me and amazes me To no end. And that's these children who just don't like mom and daddy telling them what to do. They just can't stand it. They just can't wait to get out of the house. And when they get 18, they run off and join the army. Where they're told what to do 24 hours a day. When to get up, when to go to bed, when to shower, when to shave, when to eat, what to eat and what not to eat. Beats me. But can you imagine what it is like for a child who has never, ever learned to obey? He just simply will not be able to function in society.

[John Weaver] Thirdly, younger children are not competent and are unable to reason. Therefore, they must be subject to the will of some other person. And very obviously, that some other person is or should be their parents. I mean, you can understand that at 3. You can understand that at 4. You can understand that at 7. And adults can understand it when their children are 16 and 17. Sometimes those children can't understand that. But very obviously, children or incapable in and of themselves. Number four, common sense tells you that parents by their age and by their experience are more qualified to direct and guide a child. Generally speaking, the love that God has placed in the hearts of those parents for their children will be enough to secure a just and loving direction for those children.

[John Weaver] How many of you have told your children, like I've told mine, and like my father told me, son, I don't want you to make the mistakes that I made. Sure, I've done that. Don't do this. I can tell you right now, it does not work. And when parents sit down and talk to their children like that, They've got the best interest of those children at heart. Fifthly, obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of God's government. Obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of the government of God. The government of God is what a perfect family government would be And to accustom a child to obedience to a parent is designed to lead him to be obedient unto God. Now, listen very carefully. The child that is disobedient to his parents will be disobedient to his church, will be disobedient to the civil authorities, will be disobedient to God. You remember that verse? There is no fear of God before their eyes. Why?

[John Weaver] They've never learned obedience. The one who's learned obedience will fear being disobedient to God. The child who has learned obedience is most likely, humanly speaking, The child who would yield obedience to the Word of God and trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Sixthly, the best answer, the simplest answer is why children should obey is this. Because God commanded you to do so. It's just that simple. It is the will of God for children, period.

[John Weaver] Now, let's look in Ephesians six and verse one. at the nature of disobedience. He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. The nature of disobedience. Children, obey your parents, look at it now, in the Lord. Now, you remember back in Ephesians 5, look at it in verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. You remember I pointed out the fact that a wife's submission to her husband was part and parcel of her submission to the Lord.

[John Weaver] In other words, it was a religious act. It was an act of worship. Well, it's the same thing when you come to Ephesians 6 and verse 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord. In other words, children have to look beyond their parents and see the Lord. Let me explain it like this. The authority that the parents possess is the authority from God Himself. So how then should children view their parents? Here's how they should view their parents. As God's delegated authority for their lives. Consequently, children need to understand that their obedience in seeking to please and honor their parents is also expressive of and demonstrative of seeking to please and honor the Lord who gave those children those parents. Obedience or disobedience goes beyond parents. When the Bible says, children obey your parents to the Lord, what does that mean?

[John Weaver] It just simply means this. The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord, that is, it's part of his worship, it's part of his honor of God. But the children who disobey their parents, it still goes beyond the parents. It's disobeying God and dishonoring God who gave those parents. In other words, the child who is disobedient to his parents is disobedient to the Lord. Now, it could be said, listen carefully now, it could be said that a child may be obedient to his parents and not be a Christian. But one cannot be a Christian child and be constantly and continuously disobedient to his parents. Why? For this is the will of God for the child. And to be in disobedience to the parents is sin and wickedness and rebellion. And when God saves us, when God converts us, we turn from our sin and our disobedience. So, rebellion and disobedience and dishonor on the part of a child is evidence of an unrepentant and unconverted heart. Again, we've got to remind you that the child's obedience is in the Lord.

[John Weaver] Now, just like I pointed this out when it came to husbands and wives, let me point this out again when it comes to parents and children. Generally speaking, the only time a child may lawfully disobey his parents is when those parents are commanding him to do something that is contrary to the Word of God. I have no right to command my children to rob a bank. I have no right to command my children to commit murder. I have no right to command my children to commit fornication. I have no right to command my children to do anything that's wicked and wrong and contrary to the Word of God. And if a parent asks a child to do that which is wicked and wrong, the child then should say to the parent, I love you, I want to honor you, I want to obey you, but in this instance, I cannot. I must obey God rather than man.

[John Weaver] Let me tell you what our Lord says in Matthew 10 in verse 37. Here's what He says. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. And he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. So what is he saying? He's saying children cannot place their parents above our Lord, nor can parents place their children above the Lord. No, we're to love the Lord supremely. He's a sovereign. We love him first.

[John Weaver] And so that means no parent then has any right to ask their child to do that which is wicked and wrong. We must love the Lord first, and our parents second. Or we must love the Lord first, and our children second. He is to be first in all things.

[John Weaver] Now, let's go back to verse 1 again of Ephesians chapter 6. We've seen the nature of disobedience. It's in the Lord. It is a religious act. Notice the reason for disobedience. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Wow. Children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right.

[John Weaver] Now, get ready for this. The word right is the Greek word Dikaios. That is the word that is translated in our Bibles. As a righteousness. Literally, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is righteousness. If a child wants to live a holy, godly life, he must obey his parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Now listen, if it is righteousness to obey, what would it be to disobey? Unrighteous. Sin. Wicked. Ungodly.

[John Weaver] So let's ask the question. Why should children obey their parents? The answer is, where it's right. Why is it right? Because it's righteousness. Why is it righteousness? Because that's the way God ordained it. God is the one who determines what is right and what is wrong. God is the one who determines what is just and what is unjust. God is the one who determines what is righteousness and what is unrighteousness. And for the child, he says, righteousness is summed up in two words, obedience and honor.

[John Weaver] Now, look in your Bibles to the book of Colossians, chapter 3, verse 20. Just turn over a few verses or few pages. Colossians 3, verse 20. And look what he says here. Colossians 3, verse 20. Children, obey your parents in all things. Wow. For this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Now, listen. Ephesians 6 in verse 1 said, Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Now, if it is right, it is righteousness. Are you listening? If it is righteous, it is well-pleasing to the Lord.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to note something. Listen carefully, children. Those of you who are here, listen carefully. God does not command you to obey As long as you understand. God does not command you to obey. If you're able to reason things out. He just simply commands you to obey. Whether you understand or not. Whether you can see the logic or not is immaterial. Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness. It's righteous for a child to obey. Now, oftentimes when parents ask, tell, or command their children to do something, the children give you that famous question, why?

[John Weaver] Have you ever been asked that? Why? Please go do this. Why? Please don't do that. Why? And usually the parent will say something like this. Because I said so.

[John Weaver] Now, let me tell you something, frankly speaking, that's a good answer. And biblically speaking, it should be a sufficient answer. Because the parent is the authority. God's delegated authority. But you and I both know that sometimes as children age, as they mature, when they ask why, it is not necessarily out of rebellion or disobedience. They want to know the logical explanation. For instance, when Lacy was three or four, I could say, Lacy, do such and such.

[John Weaver] And her response should have been, yes, sir. Now she's a teenager, I ask her to do something. Well, Papa, why are you asking me to do that? Well, that's the opportunity then for me to explain the reason, the logic behind it or the scriptural admonition behind it. In other words, now it's not disobedience, it's that she wants to know, she wants to learn, she wants to understand.

[John Weaver] So you have to deal with children on different levels of maturity. But if a parent ever says to the child, I don't care if the child is 3 or 16 or 17 or 18 at their home because I said so, that is still a legitimate and biblical answer. And truthfully, you and I both know that parents have their best the best interest of their children in the heart. Most parents are not going to ask their children to do anything that will be detrimental to their welfare. And if you are a child and you profess faith in Jesus Christ, what is God's command to you? Obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right.

[John Weaver] Now, let me show you. Look in your Bibles to the book of Luke, chapter 2, verse 51. Luke 2. And I think this is a wonderful illustration. I used it in reference to the wives, but I'm using it again in reference to children. You remember how our Lord had been left behind? He's 12 years of age. He's in the temple hearing and answering questions. His parents supposed that he was in the crowd, but he wasn't.

[John Weaver] They went back and saw him. And look in verse 40, 47. Luke 2 verse 47, And all they that heard him were astonished at his understanding and his answers. And when they saw him, they were amazed. And his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that you sought me?

[John Weaver] Wished you not that I must be about my father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake to them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them. And his mother kept all these things in her heart. Did our Lord know more than his parents? Yes. More intellectual, more smarter, yes, more power, more ability, more understanding, all those things, yes.

[John Weaver] But when they said, son, come home. Yes, ma'am. And he went and submitted himself unto them, and the Bible teaches us In 1 Peter 2, that Christ is to be our example in all things. And in this he submitted to and was obedient to his parents. Now, when the Bible says, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Let me speak to you parents just for a moment. This passage assumes that you are giving clear, distinct and understandable commands to your children.

[John Weaver] Let me clue you in on something. Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind. And they cannot obey that which they do not understand. So if you want your children to obey you, then you must give clear and distinct commands. OK, secondly, listen to this, parents. God has placed you in a unique position. That unique position is this. You are to be three things to your children. What are they? Here they are.

[John Weaver] You are to be a prophet, a priest, and a king. What is the parent's role as a prophet? As a prophet, the parent is to declare the Word of God to the children. What is the parent's role as a priest? He is to make intercession. He is to pray for those children. What is his role as a king? Are you listening? He is to rule over those children. You do not leave children alone. You do not allow children to do their own thing, no. Children do not rule the home. The parents rule the home, for the parents are prophet, priest, and king.

[John Weaver] The three offices that our Lord holds. He's prophet, priest, and king to the church. That's what this passage is all about. Wives are to picture the church. Husbands are to picture Christ. And as Christ is prophet, priest, and king over his family, so parents are to be prophet, priest, and king over their family. They're to declare the Word of God, pray, and make intercession for their children, and rule over those children. But how do they rule?

[John Weaver] Well, if you go back to Deuteronomy 17, And do that. Look particularly at verses 18 through 20 at what God demands of a king. Deuteronomy chapter 17. Begin there with verse 18. Deuteronomy 17. Verse 18, look what God says.

[John Weaver] Deuteronomy 17 verse 18. Here's what God requires of a king and it shall be when he sits upon the throne of his kingdom that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priest the Levites and it shall be with him and he shall read therein all the days of his life that he may learn to fear the Lord his God to keep all the words of this law and these statutes to do them that is hardly not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left, to the end that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his children in the midst of Israel." What did God say? God said he's to have his own copy of the Word of God, he's to read therein day and night, he's to learn the fear of the Lord, he's to keep all the words of this law and these statutes to do them, that is hardly not lifted up above his brethren, and that he

[John Weaver] may prolong his days Both, not only his, but his children as well. So, how then are parents to rule? Parents are to rule according to the Word of God. That is our standard. That is our rule book. That gives us the directions for ruling over our children. Listen carefully. Parents do have the authority to tell their children how to dress, what to do, where they may go, where they may not go, how long they may stay, and anything else that falls under the purview of kingship. The parents are kings over their children. Not the village. Not the public school. Not the government. The parents. They are the authority in the home and they may instruct and command and chastise and punish according to the Word of God. Because the Word of God is the rule book for kings and prophets and priests.

[John Weaver] Now, here's what our children must come to realize. They must come to realize that failure to obey the parents is a great sin. It's nothing short of rebellion. And when children disobey their parents, it is nothing less than a despising of those parents. But it goes beyond the parents. It is also a despising of God and His sovereign authority who ordained those parents to be the authority in that home. So rebellion to the parents is rebellion to God.

[John Weaver] Now, let me try to answer one other question. Would you say, Pastor, we're living in a day and age where we've lost an entire generation, and that is true. I told one man a few years ago, I said, you know, it was a black man that I was talking to. I said, you know, I hate to say it, but it's the truth. Children under 40 in today's society from both black and white families are usually not worth shooting.

[John Weaver] Now, you just stop and think about that. You look at how the children of this past generation lived. and are living, and you look at the lack of morals and the lack of standards that they have. So here's my question. What do we do with grown children? Who've never learned to obey and who are rebellious and wicked and ungodly. And unless God's grace touches them. For all practical purposes, they're worthless and useless and no account. The Word of God gives two remedies for those children. If you look in your Bibles to Deuteronomy 21. Deuteronomy 21.

[John Weaver] Here's the first remedy for rebellious children. And when I say rebellious children, I'm not talking about a child that's five or six years of age or even 10 or 12, and you will understand why. Look in Deuteronomy 21 verse 18. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them. Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and into the gate of his place. And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.

[John Weaver] He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die. So shalt thou put evil away from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear." Wow.

[John Weaver] Now, that ought to sink deeply into our hearts. God demands the death penalty for grown, stubborn, rebellious, recalcitrant children.

[John Weaver] Now, when I say children, please remember again, I'm not talking about five or six years old, for instance. This man was old enough to be a drunkard. He was stubborn. He wouldn't work. When he was chastened, he wouldn't listen. What did the parents do? They brought him to the elders of the city and they said, this our son's a drunkard. He's worthless. He's useless. He's stubborn. You can't chastise him. He won't listen. He won't receive it.

[John Weaver] And they held a trial for him. And they put him to death.

[John Weaver] Now, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, well, Brother Weaver, that's impractical today because, number one, we don't have a government who will execute anybody. And that's just about the truth. But let me tell you something. The death penalty still has not been done away with. God is still on the throne and God can execute it whenever he chooses. OK, but let me show you something else that's very enlightening.

[John Weaver] Although this law is in the Bible. As many times as I read the Bible, I have never found one instance where this has been applied. What does that mean? That means this, that parents are willing to go as far as they can go to salvage their children. I have known parents who had to call the wall on their adult children, who were either dopeheads or drunkards and threatening their lives. I understand that. But I'm just saying. There's not one instance in the Bible of a parent bringing the child to the elders and saying, here he is, executing.

[John Weaver] Now, let me just say something else right here. The family does not have the power to execute anyone. Lest someone think, well, the government won't do it, I'll just take matters into my own hands. No, God has never given the family the power to execute anyone, never has had that authority. But what you could do as a priest and as a prophet is turn that child over to God and say, Lord, you deal with him. I can't. I know what your law demands, but I can't do it. And the government is so wicked it won't do it. But Lord, you're still on the throne and you can still execute your justice.

[John Weaver] That was one way of dealing with it. But there was another way. And this is what is followed usually. The second method of dealing with grown, rebellious children is disinheritance. You disinherit them. Does anybody know who Jacob's firstborn was? Reuben. It was Reuben. But who was it that got the double portion? It wasn't Reuben, it was Joseph. You know why? Reuben went into his father's concubine and defiled his father's bed.

[John Weaver] And Jacob said, you're disinherited. You're not getting this. The birthright's not going to you. It's going to someone else. Now, listen very carefully. Christian parents have an obligation for everything that God has given them. Whatever God has given you, He's given you as a stewardship. And if you have grown adult, rebellious, disobedient, hateful, unbelieving children, you don't leave your stewardship to them. I told my children, I've told my grandchildren.

[John Weaver] As long as you do what's right, I'll break my neck to help you. I'll give you everything I've got. But if you ever think for one minute that I'm going to subsidize your sin and your rebellion and help you do what's wrong and wicked, you're mistaken. You're on your own. We have a responsibility not to throw away the stewardship that God has given us on wicked, disobedient, rebellious children. And therefore, parents have the choice, biblically speaking, when they have grown children who are disobedient and wicked, they may either turn them over to civil authorities or they may disinherit. And by the way, I want you to turn in your Bibles to two, well, three passages, and we'll close.

[John Weaver] But look in Romans chapter 1 and 2 Timothy chapter 3, and then we're going back to Proverbs. But I want you to look at Romans chapter 1, and I just want you to see that God lists disobedience to parents as some of the darkest sins and some of the most wicked and evil sins. Look, if you would, In Romans chapter 1, beginning there with verse 18. Romans 1 verse 18. Look at it. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Now skip down to verse 30. He's talking about the wrath of God being revealed against those who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Verse 30, backbiters, he's telling some of these who hold the truth in unrighteousness, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. Isn't that amazing? Disobedient to parents is placed in all of these sins in Romans 1 verses 30 through 31 there. Disobedient to parents, back biters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things.

[John Weaver] Look in your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 and 2. 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 1. This know also that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinence, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. In the middle of all those dark, dank sins, disobedient parents. Isn't that amazing? God frowns upon children's disobedience to parents. One last scripture. Look in your Bibles to Proverbs 30 and verse 17. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Look what God says. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Are you there? Proverbs 30, verse 17. Here it is.

[John Weaver] The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother. The ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagle shall eat it. Do I need to tell you that that means that God will kill the disobedient children? It's the judgment of death. The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagle shall eat it."

[John Weaver] Disobedience to parents is a serious sin. We may take it lightly, but God does not.

[John Weaver] Now let me make two quick applications. The first one is this. It is amazingly simple. how easily explained the roles of the family really is. Husbands love. Wives submit. Children obey and honor. Isn't that simple? Isn't that easy? I mean, you don't have to learn an instruction manual of 445 pages to know what your role is. It's simple. Thank God the government never designed these roles. You can even read through the book of regulations. And it's so simple.

[John Weaver] Why is it that we can't grasp such simplicity? I'm going to tell you why. because of our natural depravity, our sin and rebellion. Husbands do not want to love the way they are commanded. Wives do not want to submit the way they are commanded. Children do not want to obey and honor the way they are commanded. It's our wickedness, it is our sin, it is our rebellion that keeps us from having the family that God has designed that we have. If we would obey...

[John Weaver] We would find that our families would turn out to be heaven on earth. The second application is this. Children who wish to be righteous, who wish to obey and honor and worship the Lord Jesus Christ, must obey their parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is righteousness. It is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, that you would make us holy, that you would make us godly. And Lord, help these words, these directives to sink deeply into our hearts, not only as children, but as parents. And may, Father, we give honor and glory unto Thee, and do that which is right and holy, in the name of Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.

The Family - Part 8

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	121407844572
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-10-28
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 8
Source Timed Segments	82

Formatted Transcript

Introduction and Review of the Family Series

Weaver reviews previous messages on the family as an instrument of dominion, creation differences, God's order, and the roles of wives (submit) and husbands (love).

Let's open our Bibles to the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 6 today. Ephesians chapter 6. And I will take a few moments and review for those of you who have not been here in quite a while. Alright, Ephesians chapter 6. And of course we've been dealing with the family and we're still going to continue on that series for the next several weeks anyhow. And I just want to call your attention to the fact that I brought the first two messages dealing with the family and as an instrument of dominion. And of course, if you have forgotten those, I trust that you'll go back and listen to the tapes and refresh your mind how God created the family to be an instrument of dominion.

Then I dealt with creation differences between men and women, and showed how they differed, not just physically, but emotionally and judgmentally as well. And then I showed God's intentional order, not only in creation, but in the family, how it is God, Christ, man, and woman. And in the family, He constituted the man as the head of the house. Alright? And then of course we began to look at the different roles that God has ordained to the members of the family. And we looked first of all at the wife. And so the key word for the wife was submit. And if you will remember that I told you it was a willing submission, but yet it was not optional because God commanded it. And I spent two messages dealing with the wife. And then last week I dealt with the role of the husband where the Bible says husbands love your wives. And of course, I pointed out how that is to be an exclusive love and a sacrificial love. And that we may not be able to love our wives quantitatively the way Christ does because Christ is God and he is capable of so much more love than we can ever give forth. But we may love our wives qualitatively, that is, with the same kind of love. So he says, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. So the wife is to submit and the husband is to love.

The Two Directives for Children: Obey and Honor

Weaver introduces Ephesians 6:1-3, noting that children have two key words—obey and honor—and that today's message will cover only obedience.

Now, today we're going to come to Ephesians chapter 6, and we're going to read verses 1 through 3, because we're going to be dealing basically with the role of children. And let me just say that I'm only going to get half the message today, and the other half will be next Lord's Day. So, I want you to make sure that you are here next Lord's Day, because you're going to find out that when we're talking about children, it's not just little children. It's even adult children, because God has words for those who are little and for those who are old as well. So notice Ephesians chapter six, verse one,

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 6:1-3

children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Now, I want you to note. God had one key word for the wife, submit. God had one key word for the husband, love. But when it comes to the children, God has two key words, and that is obey and honor. And we live in a day when each of those concepts is despised. You look around today at the average home, the average family, children disobey, dishonor and live a life of rebellion. And they live that life of rebellion to the plain teaching of the Word of God. Now let me just tell you one of the main reasons that I believe that children are so disobedient and rebellious today. Here's the answer. Because they're not exposed to real biblical teaching and preaching. Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. There are a lot of Christian families that will say, well, I take my children to church.

Children Must Hear the Word of God with Parents

Weaver argues from Deuteronomy 31:12, Joshua 8:34-35, and Ezra 10:1 that families should remain together during preaching, as the Holy Spirit illuminates both young and old.

And yes, they do. And guess what happens when they go to that church? Their children are immediately taken from them and escorted to a junior church where everything is there watered down and given to the children on their level, so to speak. Let me point something out. Do you realize that God deals with children exactly as He deals with adults? That is, through His Word. There is no illumination, there is no enlightenment apart from the Word of God and apart from the Holy Spirit. I want you to look at the directives that God has given us in His Word. I want you to turn to three passages very quickly. And then I want to ask you some questions.

The first one is Deuteronomy chapter 31 and verse 12. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Hold Ephesians 6, we're coming back there. Look in Deuteronomy 31 and verse 12. Notice the directions that God gives. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Here it is, he says, gather the people together, men and women and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear and that they may learn and fear the Lord your God, and observe to do all the words of this law. Now note carefully what he said, gather the people together, men, women and children, that they may hear. And that they may learn, and fear the Lord, and observe to do all the words of this law.

Now look in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Turn right over to the book of Joshua. Joshua, Judges. Look in Joshua chapter 8, verses 34 and 35. Joshua chapter 8. And notice if you would please, verses 34 and 35. And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and the curses, according to all that is written in the book of the law. There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not, before all the congregation of Israel,

with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.

Scripture Reading — Ezra 10:1

" Note, if you would, he read all of the law to the congregation with the women and the little ones. Now if you look in the book of Ezra chapter 10 and verse 1. Ezra chapter 10 and look at verse 1. Notice what the Bible says. Ezra chapter 10 verse 1. Now, when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children, for the people wept very sore."

Isn't it interesting that in each of these three passages, it was men, women, and children who came together?

Now, let me ask you several questions. First of all, based upon these verses and certainly other principles in the Word of God, do you think that in the Bible families were together when the Word of God was spoken or read? Well, very obviously it was. Let me ask you a further question. If God has constituted the Father as the head of the house, and if the Father is responsible for what his children learn. How can he be sure they're being taught the truth if they're separated from him and taken to a different part of the building and instructed without his knowledge and without his hearing, without him knowing the content of that instruction? It's absolutely impossible. That is why I believe that God is saying here men, women, and children are to hear the Word of God. Now, here's the argument. Let me show you. Some will say, well, Brother Weaver, don't you understand that when we have a junior church, they aren't hearing the Word of God. We've got to understand that children do not have the same level of intelligence that adults do. Adults are so much smarter, at least hopefully they should be, and therefore, what we have to do is try to speak to the children on their level so that they can understand the Word of God.

Let me ask you a question. Answer this. Who can understand the Word of God apart from the illumination of the Holy Spirit? No one. Can an adult understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Can a child understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Do you realize the Holy Spirit is needed to open the eyes of both the young and the old?

And He may do so without any difficulty whatsoever. And it doesn't matter whether that child is in the main preaching or anywhere else. No one is capable of understanding the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit. God only has one way of dealing with people. I don't care if they're men or women or children. And that one way is through His Word and by His Spirit. It does not matter if someone is a child like Samuel or someone is an adult like Saul of Tarsus. It still requires the illumination of the Holy Spirit to open the mind. Period. So why should you separate children? Why should they not be able to hear the pure, unadulterated Word of God?

And when you try to argue, well, it's over their heads, it's also over the heads of the adults as well. And I can tell you, folks, I have been in a lot of churches and I have preached some of the simplest sermons. I mean, absolutely. To be honest, I was embarrassed to preach some of them. They were so simple. And yet I've had adults come up to me and say, oh, that is so deep and so profound. And I thought, Lord, have mercy. What level are you on? You see what I'm saying? I don't care how simple something is. I don't care how complex something is. The Holy Ghost can open the eyes of anyone—man, woman, or child.

Now, children need to hear the Word of God. And they really need to hear the Word of God with their parents. That way, if there are any questions, they may ask their parents as well. Now, having told you one of my pet peeves and showing you what I believe is one of the reasons our children are so disobedient and so ignorant today of the Word of God, let me ask this question, what are God's directives to children? Well, he actually gives two directives. The first one is found in verse one, look in Ephesians 6, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Now, that's as far as we're going to get today, but I'm going to go ahead and give you the second word, verse two, honor thy father and thy mother which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. So two directives. He says obey and honor. Now let's go back to verse one. It begins with children.

Definition and Nature of Obedience

Weaver defines 'obey' (hupakouō) as listening with intent to obey, stronger than submission, and compares it to a slave's obedience in verse 5.

Children. Now, the Greek word for children is the little word teknon. The word normally signifies those who are young, but here it is used, evidently, to denote those who were under the care and government of their parents, or those who were not of age, or, listen carefully, those who were of age, but chose to remain under the authority of their parents.

What do you do with an adult child who's living at home? He's still a child. And it's still the parents' home. And they still have the authority.

Now, I'm going to explain a little bit more of that next week, but I'm just simply pointing out. This word is a very broad word and can be used not only of little tiny children, it can be used of teenagers, it can be used of what you and I would call grown children who are still living at home. And so God just simply says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Now, let's go forward with the definition of obedience. He says, children, obey. So you have to ask this question, what does it mean to obey? In order to communicate, we have to understand terms. We have to understand and comprehend definitions. So if I'm going to define obey, I want to define it in such a way that you and I know what we're talking about and that we have the same idea in mind. First of all, the word obey is a very explicit term. It comes from the Greek word hupakouō, which literally is translated in our Bible as obey, or to be obedient, and to hearken. The word originally had reference to a porter. You know what a porter was? I'm not talking about someone who carried something, but a porter was someone who stood at the door waiting for the knock, waiting for someone to say, open the door, and the porter then immediately reached out and he opened the door. So he's someone who listened, and he was someone who listened with the intent to obey.

So when you hear the word obey that is used right here in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 1, it refers to someone who is listening, but it's not only listening, he's listening with the absolute intent to obey. He's someone who is waiting on instructions, and when he receives those instructions, he submits and does exactly what he's instructed to do. Now, let me show you. Look in verse 1. Children, obey your parents. Just so there is no misunderstanding, skip down to verse 5. Servants or slaves, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ.

Now, let me ask you a question. Think about this. If you were my slave and I commanded you to do something, would you be obligated to obey me? And the answer is yes. The word obedient in verse 5 and the word obey in verse 1 are exactly the same word. So here's what God is saying to children. It's the children's responsibility to obey their parents just like it's the servant's or the slave's responsibility to obey his master's will.

The application should be clear. The first duty that God has enjoined upon children is obedience, that is, to do exactly that which their parents have commanded them. So historically, practically, and biblically, it is the responsibility of children to obey.

Six Reasons Children Must Obey

Weaver lists six reasons: good order of the family, welfare of the child, children's incompetence, parents' greater experience, imitation of God's government, and God's command.

Now, the word obey is much stronger than the word submit. We look at the word submit when the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. But now when it comes to children, it says children obey. How can there be a difference between the words submit and obey? Here's the difference. Submission is the willing subjection of one person to another, whereas obedience is a more direct word and it demands action. It demands a response from someone who has the rightful authority to give that command. In other words, when I tell my children or my grandchildren what to do, what God is saying is this, they have a responsibility to obey. Why? Because I have the authority to command. So the word obey is a much stronger word than the word submit. Now, since children are to obey, obviously, they must be open to the direction of their parents.

They must seek to understand those directions and they must carry out those directions to the best of their ability, fully intending to follow those directions. If I were to ask you as a parent, I want you to think about this. If I were to ask you as a parent, what is your response? When you give your child a directive or an order, and you find out that that child does what you've asked him to do, half-heartedly, sloppily, so much so that it would have been better off if you hadn't obeyed to begin with, what is your response to something like that? My question is this, does it not irritate you? Does it not make you say, look, delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience? And it is. And it is. I told my children, I tell my grandchildren, if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing right, and it's worth doing right the first time. And if you do something right the first time, you do not have to keep repeating it and doing it over and over. So, when children hear, and when children obey, they should do it right the first time. Now, let's ask a question. Why must children obey? Well, there are a lot of answers to that question. There are a lot of biblical answers. There are a lot of common sense answers. And I've always said this, and you've probably heard me say it, God has good sense. God does. Why in the world must children obey? Well, first of all, let me give you six reasons. Number one, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family. Obedience is necessary for the good order of a family.

No family can function or be prosperous where there is not due subordination in the household. Do you think that I could possibly do what I do as a preacher and as a pastor without my wife? I couldn't. I have my role. She has her role. I could go further. Do you think that I could do what I do as a pastor and as a preacher without my grandchildren?

Since my children are all grown. And the answer is no. The point I'm trying to show you is this, it takes order in any household to be functional and to be prosperous and to be successful. And if you have members of the household who are not willing to submit or not willing to obey, then you're going to have a breakdown in the family, you're going to have a breakdown in the household. So first of all, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family. Secondly, the welfare of the child depends upon his learning obedience. The welfare of a child depends upon his learning obedience. You know, I've often thought about this. Can you imagine what it is like? Let me rephrase it. Can you imagine what the future of a child will be like when that child has never learned to obey? A lot of families today are leaving their children to do their own thing.

They don't want to interfere with their development. They're afraid they might warp their personality. I've got news for you. It's some other part of their anatomy that needs warping that will straighten out the personality. But, you know, well, we're going to let him do his own thing. Well, let me ask you a question. If the child has never learned to obey, how in the world can he ever hold down a job? If you work for me, I expect you to do what I ask you to do. If you want me to pay you, I expect you to do not only what I ask you to do, but the way that I ask you to do it. How can a child fit into a school situation, an educational situation? How could he fit into a social situation? A child that has never learned to obey just simply cannot function in society.

And I'll tell you what tickles me and amazes me to no end. And that's these children who just don't like mom and daddy telling them what to do. They just can't stand it. They just can't wait to get out of the house. And when they get 18, they run off and join the army, where they're told what to do 24 hours a day. When to get up, when to go to bed, when to shower, when to shave, when to eat, what to eat and what not to eat. Beats me. But can you imagine what it is like for a child who has never, ever learned to obey? He just simply will not be able to function in society.

Thirdly, younger children are not competent and are unable to reason. Therefore, they must be subject to the will of some other person. And very obviously, that some other person is or should be their parents. I mean, you can understand that at 3. You can understand that at 4. You can understand that at 7. And adults can understand it when their children are 16 and 17. Sometimes those children can't understand that. But very obviously, children are incapable in and of themselves. Number four, common sense tells you that parents by their age and by their experience are more qualified to direct and guide a child. Generally speaking, the love that God has placed in the hearts of those parents for their children will be enough to secure a just and loving direction for those children.

How many of you have told your children, like I've told mine, and like my father told me, son, I don't want you to make the mistakes that I made. Sure, I've done that. Don't do this. I can tell you right now, it does not work. And when parents sit down and talk to their children like that, they've got the best interest of those children at heart. Fifthly, obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of God's government. Obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of the government of God. The government of God is what a perfect family government would be. And to accustom a child to obedience to a parent is designed to lead him to be obedient unto God. Now, listen very carefully. The child that is disobedient to his parents will be disobedient to his church, will be disobedient to the civil authorities, will be disobedient to God. You remember that verse? There is no fear of God before their eyes. Why?

They've never learned obedience. The one who's learned obedience will fear being disobedient to God. The child who has learned obedience is most likely, humanly speaking, the child who would yield obedience to the Word of God and trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Sixthly, the best answer, the simplest answer is why children should obey is this. Because God commanded you to do so. It's just that simple. It is the will of God for children, period.

Now, let's look in Ephesians six and verse one at the nature of obedience. He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. The nature of obedience. Children, obey your parents, look at it now, in the Lord. Now, you remember back in Ephesians 5, look at it in verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. You remember I pointed out the fact that a wife's submission to her husband was part and parcel of her submission to the Lord.

Obedience 'in the Lord' as a Religious Act

Weaver explains that obedience is 'in the Lord,' meaning it is an act of worship toward God, and disobedience is rebellion against God's delegated authority.

In other words, it was a religious act. It was an act of worship. Well, it's the same thing when you come to Ephesians 6 and verse 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord. In other words, children have to look beyond their parents and see the Lord. Let me explain it like this. The authority that the parents possess is the authority from God Himself. So how then should children view their parents? Here's how they should view their parents. As God's delegated authority for their lives. Consequently, children need to understand that their obedience in seeking to please and honor their parents is also expressive of and demonstrative of seeking to please and honor the Lord who gave those children those parents. Obedience or disobedience goes beyond parents. When the Bible says, children obey your parents in the Lord, what does that mean?

It just simply means this. The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord, that is, it's part of his worship, it's part of his honor of God. But the children who disobey their parents, it still goes beyond the parents. It's disobeying God and dishonoring God who gave those parents. In other words, the child who is disobedient to his parents is disobedient to the Lord. Now, it could be said, listen carefully now, it could be said that a child may be obedient to his parents and not be a Christian. But one cannot be a Christian child and be constantly and continuously disobedient to his parents. Why? For this is the will of God for the child. And to be in disobedience to the parents is sin and wickedness and rebellion. And when God saves us, when God converts us, we turn from our sin and our disobedience. So, rebellion and disobedience and dishonor on the part of a child is evidence of an unrepentant and unconverted heart. Again, we've got to remind you that the child's obedience is in the Lord.

Now, just like I pointed this out when it came to husbands and wives, let me point this out again when it comes to parents and children. Generally speaking, the only time a child may lawfully disobey his parents is when those parents are commanding him to do something that is contrary to the Word of God. I have no right to command my children to rob a bank. I have no right to command my children to commit murder. I have no right to command my children to commit fornication. I have no right to command my children to do anything that's wicked and wrong and contrary to the Word of God. And if a parent asks a child to do that which is wicked and wrong, the child then should say to the parent, I love you, I want to honor you, I want to obey you, but in this instance, I cannot. I must obey God rather than man.

Let me tell you what our Lord says in Matthew 10 in verse 37. Here's what He says. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. And he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. So what is he saying? He's saying children cannot place their parents above our Lord, nor can parents place their children above the Lord. No, we're to love the Lord supremely. He's sovereign. We love him first.

And so that means no parent then has any right to ask their child to do that which is wicked and wrong. We must love the Lord first, and our parents second. Or we must love the Lord first, and our children second. He is to be first in all things.

Now, let's go back to verse 1 again of Ephesians chapter 6. We've seen the nature of obedience. It's in the Lord. It is a religious act. Notice the reason for obedience. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Wow. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

Obedience Is Righteousness

Weaver teaches that 'for this is right' means obedience is righteousness (dikaios), and cites Colossians 3:20 to show it is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Now, get ready for this. The word right is the Greek word dikaios. That is the word that is translated in our Bibles as righteousness. Literally, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is righteousness. If a child wants to live a holy, godly life, he must obey his parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Now listen, if it is righteousness to obey, what would it be to disobey? Unrighteous. Sin. Wicked. Ungodly.

So let's ask the question. Why should children obey their parents? The answer is, because it's right. Why is it right? Because it's righteousness. Why is it righteousness? Because that's the way God ordained it. God is the one who determines what is right and what is wrong. God is the one who determines what is just and what is unjust. God is the one who determines what is righteousness and what is unrighteousness. And for the child, he says, righteousness is summed up in two words, obedience and honor.

Now, look in your Bibles to the book of Colossians, chapter 3, verse 20. Just turn over a few verses or few pages. Colossians 3, verse 20. And look what he says here. Colossians 3, verse 20. Children, obey your parents in all things. Wow. For this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Now, listen. Ephesians 6 in verse 1 said, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Now, if it is right, it is righteousness. Are you listening? If it is righteous, it is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Now, I want you to note something. Listen carefully, children. Those of you who are here, listen carefully. God does not command you to obey as long as you understand. God does not command you to obey if you're able to reason things out. He just simply commands you to obey. Whether you understand or not. Whether you can see the logic or not is immaterial. Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness. It's righteous for a child to obey. Now, oftentimes when parents ask, tell, or command their children to do something, the children give you that famous question, why?

Have you ever been asked that? Why? Please go do this. Why? Please don't do that. Why? And usually the parent will say something like this. Because I said so.

Parents as Prophet, Priest, and King

Weaver explains that parents are to declare God's Word, intercede in prayer, and rule over their children according to Scripture, as seen in Deuteronomy 17:18-20.

Let me clue you in on something. Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind. And they cannot obey that which they do not understand. So if you want your children to obey you, then you must give clear and distinct commands. OK, secondly, listen to this, parents. God has placed you in a unique position. That unique position is this. You are to be three things to your children. What are they? Here they are.

You are to be a prophet, a priest, and a king. What is the parent's role as a prophet? As a prophet, the parent is to declare the Word of God to the children. What is the parent's role as a priest? He is to make intercession. He is to pray for those children. What is his role as a king? Are you listening? He is to rule over those children. You do not leave children alone. You do not allow children to do their own thing, no. Children do not rule the home. The parents rule the home, for the parents are prophet, priest, and king.

The three offices that our Lord holds. He's prophet, priest, and king to the church. That's what this passage is all about. Wives are to picture the church. Husbands are to picture Christ. And as Christ is prophet, priest, and king over his family, so parents are to be prophet, priest, and king over their family. They're to declare the Word of God, pray, and make intercession for their children, and rule over those children. But how do they rule?

Well, if you go back to Deuteronomy 17, and do that. Look particularly at verses 18 through 20 at what God demands of a king. Deuteronomy chapter 17. Begin there with verse 18. Deuteronomy 17. Verse 18, look what God says.

Deuteronomy 17 verse 18. Here's what God requires of a king: And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priests the Levites. And it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them, that his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left, to the end that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his children in the midst of Israel.

Scripture Reading — Deuteronomy 17:18-20

" What did God say? God said he's to have his own copy of the Word of God, he's to read therein day and night, he's to learn the fear of the Lord, he's to keep all the words of this law and these statutes to do them, that his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he

may prolong his days, both not only his, but his children as well. So, how then are parents to rule? Parents are to rule according to the Word of God. That is our standard. That is our rule book. That gives us the directions for ruling over our children. Listen carefully. Parents do have the authority to tell their children how to dress, what to do, where they may go, where they may not go, how long they may stay, and anything else that falls under the purview of kingship. The parents are kings over their children. Not the village. Not the public school. Not the government. The parents. They are the authority in the home and they may instruct and command and chastise and punish according to the Word of God. Because the Word of God is the rule book for kings and prophets and priests.

Biblical Remedies for Grown Rebellious Children

Weaver discusses two remedies: capital punishment under civil authority (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) and disinheritance (as with Reuben), emphasizing God's seriousness about rebellion.

Now, let me try to answer one other question. Would you say, Pastor, we're living in a day and age where we've lost an entire generation, and that is true. I told one man a few years ago, I said, you know, it was a black man that I was talking to. I said, you know, I hate to say it, but it's the truth. Children under 40 in today's society from both black and white families are usually not worth shooting.

Now, you just stop and think about that. You look at how the children of this past generation lived and are living, and you look at the lack of morals and the lack of standards that they have. So here's my question. What do we do with grown children who've never learned to obey and who are rebellious and wicked and ungodly? And unless God's grace touches them, for all practical purposes, they're worthless and useless and no account. The Word of God gives two remedies for those children. If you look in your Bibles to Deuteronomy 21. Deuteronomy 21.

Here's the first remedy for rebellious children. And when I say rebellious children, I'm not talking about a child that's five or six years of age or even 10 or 12, and you will understand why. Look in Deuteronomy 21 verse 18. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them. Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and into the gate of his place. And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.

He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die. So shalt thou put evil away from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear." Wow. Now, that ought to sink deeply into our hearts. God demands the death penalty for grown, stubborn, rebellious, recalcitrant children.

Now, when I say children, please remember again, I'm not talking about five or six years old, for instance. This man was old enough to be a drunkard. He was stubborn. He wouldn't work. When he was chastened, he wouldn't listen. What did the parents do? They brought him to the elders of the city and they said, this our son's a drunkard. He's worthless. He's useless. He's stubborn. You can't chastise him. He won't listen. He won't receive it.

And they held a trial for him. And they put him to death. Now, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, well, Brother Weaver, that's impractical today because, number one, we don't have a government who will execute anybody. And that's just about the truth. But let me tell you something. The death penalty still has not been done away with. God is still on the throne and God can execute it whenever he chooses. OK, but let me show you something else that's very enlightening.

Although this law is in the Bible, as many times as I read the Bible, I have never found one instance where this has been applied. What does that mean? That means this, that parents are willing to go as far as they can go to salvage their children. I have known parents who had to call the law on their adult children, who were either dopeheads or drunkards and threatening their lives. I understand that. But I'm just saying. There's not one instance in the Bible of a parent bringing the child to the elders and saying, here he is, execute him.

Now, let me just say something else right here. The family does not have the power to execute anyone. Lest someone think, well, the government won't do it, I'll just take matters into my own hands. No, God has never given the family the power to execute anyone, never has had that authority. But what you could do as a priest and as a prophet is turn that child over to God and say, Lord, you deal with him. I can't. I know what your law demands, but I can't do it. And the government is so wicked it won't do it. But Lord, you're still on the throne and you can still execute your justice.

That was one way of dealing with it. But there was another way. And this is what is followed usually. The second method of dealing with grown, rebellious children is disinheritance. You disinherit them. Does anybody know who Jacob's firstborn was? Reuben. It was Reuben. But who was it that got the double portion? It wasn't Reuben, it was Joseph. You know why? Reuben went into his father's concubine and defiled his father's bed.

And Jacob said, you're disinherited. You're not getting this. The birthright's not going to you. It's going to someone else. Now, listen very carefully. Christian parents have an obligation for everything that God has given them. Whatever God has given you, He's given you as a stewardship. And if you have grown adult, rebellious, disobedient, hateful, unbelieving children, you don't leave your stewardship to them. I told my children, I've told my grandchildren.

As long as you do what's right, I'll break my neck to help you. I'll give you everything I've got. But if you ever think for one minute that I'm going to subsidize your sin and your rebellion and help you do what's wrong and wicked, you're mistaken. You're on your own. We have a responsibility not to throw away the stewardship that God has given us on wicked, disobedient, rebellious children. And therefore, parents have the choice, biblically speaking, when they have grown children who are disobedient and wicked, they may either turn them over to civil authorities or they may disinherit. And by the way, I want you to turn in your Bibles to two, well, three passages, and we'll close.

Disobedience Listed Among Dark Sins

Weaver cites Romans 1:30-31, 2 Timothy 3:1-2, and Proverbs 30:17 to show that disobedience to parents is ranked with grave sins and brings God's judgment.

But look in Romans chapter 1 and 2 Timothy chapter 3, and then we're going back to Proverbs. But I want you to look at Romans chapter 1, and I just want you to see that God lists disobedience to parents as some of the darkest sins and some of the most wicked and evil sins. Look, if you would, in Romans chapter 1, beginning there with verse 18. Romans 1 verse 18. Look at it. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Now skip down to verse 30. He's talking about the wrath of God being revealed against those who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Verse 30, backbiters, he's telling some of these who hold the truth in unrighteousness, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. Isn't that amazing? Disobedient to parents is placed in all of these sins in Romans 1 verses 30 through 31 there. Disobedient to parents, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things.

Look in your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 and 2. 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 1. This know also that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. In the middle of all those dark, dank sins, disobedient to parents. Isn't that amazing? God frowns upon children's disobedience to parents. One last scripture. Look in your Bibles to Proverbs 30 and verse 17. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Look what God says. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Are you there? Proverbs 30, verse 17. Here it is.

The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it. Do I need to tell you that that means that God will kill the disobedient children? It's the judgment of death. The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." Disobedience to parents is a serious sin. We may take it lightly, but God does not.

Applications and Closing Prayer

Weaver applies the simplicity of family roles and the necessity of obedience for righteousness, then closes in prayer.

Now let me make two quick applications. The first one is this. It is amazingly simple how easily explained the roles of the family really is. Husbands love. Wives submit. Children obey and honor. Isn't that simple? Isn't that easy? I mean, you don't have to learn an instruction manual of 445 pages to know what your role is. It's simple. Thank God the government never designed these roles. You can even read through the book of regulations. And it's so simple.

Why is it that we can't grasp such simplicity? I'm going to tell you why. Because of our natural depravity, our sin and rebellion. Husbands do not want to love the way they are commanded. Wives do not want to submit the way they are commanded. Children do not want to obey and honor the way they are commanded. It's our wickedness, it is our sin, it is our rebellion that keeps us from having the family that God has designed that we have. If we would obey...

We would find that our families would turn out to be heaven on earth. The second application is this. Children who wish to be righteous, who wish to obey and honor and worship the Lord Jesus Christ, must obey their parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness. It is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, that you would make us holy, that you would make us godly. And Lord, help these words, these directives to sink deeply into our hearts, not only as children, but as parents. And may, Father, we give honor and glory unto Thee, and do that which is right and holy, in the name of Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.

Study Guide

Major Themes

Obedience as the Primary Duty of Children

Summary: Children are commanded to obey their parents, which means listening with intent to obey and carrying out instructions fully and promptly.

Evidence: Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1) and the definition of obey as hupakouō.

The Necessity of Children Hearing God's Word with Parents

Summary: Weaver argues that separating children from the main preaching service deprives them of the pure Word and the Holy Spirit's illumination, which is needed by all.

Evidence: References to Deuteronomy 31:12, Joshua 8:34-35, Ezra 10:1, and the argument that the Holy Spirit opens the eyes of both young and old.

Obedience as Righteousness and Worship

Summary: Obedience to parents is an act of righteousness and worship toward God, while disobedience is sin and rebellion against God's authority.

Evidence: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (righteousness) and Colossians 3:20.

Parental Authority as Prophet, Priest, and King

Summary: Parents are to teach God's Word, pray for their children, and rule over them according to Scripture, reflecting Christ's offices to the church.

Evidence: Deuteronomy 17:18-20 and the explanation of the three roles.

God's Severe Judgment on Disobedience

Summary: Disobedience to parents is listed among grave sins in Romans 1 and 2 Timothy 3, and Proverbs 30:17 warns of death for mockers.

Evidence: Romans 1:30-31, 2 Timothy 3:1-2, Proverbs 30:17.

Key Arguments

Children must hear the Word of God alongside their parents because the Holy Spirit alone gives understanding.

Summary: Weaver argues that since no one can understand Scripture without the Holy Spirit, separating children from the main service is unnecessary and harmful.

Evidence: Who can understand the Word of God apart from the illumination of the Holy Spirit? No one. Can an adult understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Can a child understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No.

Obedience is stronger than submission and demands action.

Summary: Unlike submission, which is willing subjection, obedience requires a direct response to a command from rightful authority.

Evidence: Submission is the willing subjection of one person to another, whereas obedience is a more direct word and it demands action.

Delayed or slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Summary: Weaver insists that children must obey promptly and thoroughly, as half-hearted obedience irritates parents and fails to meet God's standard.

Evidence: Delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Obedience is necessary for the good order and prosperity of the family.

Summary: A family cannot function without due subordination; each member must fulfill their role for the household to succeed.

Evidence: No family can function or be prosperous where there is not due subordination in the household.

A child who never learns obedience cannot function in society.

Summary: Without learning to obey parents, a child will struggle in jobs, school, and social settings, as all require submission to authority.

Evidence: If the child has never learned to obey, how in the world can he ever hold down a job?

Obedience to parents is obedience to God; disobedience is rebellion against God.

Summary: Parents are God's delegated authority, so a child's obedience or disobedience directly reflects their relationship with God.

Evidence: The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord... But the children who disobey their parents... it's disobeying God and dishonoring God.

Parents must give clear, distinct commands for children to obey.

Summary: Children cannot obey suggestions or read minds; parents must communicate understandable directives.

Evidence: Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind. And they cannot obey that which they do not understand.

Grown rebellious children may be dealt with by civil execution or disinheritance.

Summary: Weaver presents Deuteronomy 21:18-21 and the example of Reuben to show biblical remedies for persistently rebellious adult children.

Evidence: God demands the death penalty for grown, stubborn, rebellious, recalcitrant children... The second method of dealing with grown, rebellious children is disinheritance.

Scripture References

Ephesians 6:1-3

Context: Primary text for the sermon; commands children to obey and honor parents.

Deuteronomy 31:12

Context: Used to show that men, women, and children were gathered to hear God's law.

Joshua 8:34-35

Context: Joshua read all the law to the congregation including women and little ones.

Ezra 10:1

Context: A great congregation of men, women, and children assembled to hear Ezra.

Ephesians 6:5

Context: Servants are to be obedient to masters; the same Greek word for obey is used as in verse 1.

Ephesians 5:22

Context: Wives submit to husbands as unto the Lord; compared to children's obedience in the Lord.

Matthew 10:37

Context: Loving father or mother more than Christ makes one unworthy; used to show limits of parental authority.

Colossians 3:20

Context: Children obey parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Luke 2:47-51

Context: Jesus at age 12 submitted to his parents, serving as an example for children.

1 Peter 2

Context: Christ is our example in all things, including submission to parents.

Deuteronomy 17:18-20

Context: Requirements for a king to read and obey God's law; applied to parents ruling their children.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

Context: Law for stoning a stubborn and rebellious son; presented as a remedy for grown rebellious children.

Romans 1:18, 30-31

Context: Disobedience to parents listed among sins that bring God's wrath.

2 Timothy 3:1-2

Context: Disobedience to parents listed as a characteristic of perilous last days.

Proverbs 30:17

Context: The eye that mocks a father and despises a mother will be picked out by ravens; a warning of death.

Historical References

Reuben and Joseph (disinheritance example)

Context: Reuben lost his birthright for defiling his father's bed; Joseph received the double portion.

Important Quotes

Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

Significance: The central command of the sermon, establishing obedience as the primary duty of children.

Delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Significance: Emphasizes that obedience must be prompt and wholehearted, not half-hearted.

The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord, that is, it's part of his worship, it's part of his honor of God.

Significance: Frames obedience as a religious act of worship, not mere compliance.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness.

Significance: Weaver's translation of 'right' as 'righteousness,' making obedience a matter of holiness.

The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it.

Significance: A stark warning of God's judgment on disobedience, used to close the sermon.

Discussion Questions

Why does Weaver believe children should remain in the main worship service rather than attend a separate 'junior church'?

Context: Weaver argues from Scripture that families heard God's Word together and that the Holy Spirit illuminates all ages.

How does the command for children to 'obey' differ from the command for wives to 'submit'?

Context: Weaver explains that obedience is stronger and demands action, while submission is willing subjection.

What does it mean for a child to obey 'in the Lord,' and how does this affect their view of parental authority?

Context: Weaver teaches that obedience is an act of worship toward God, and parents are God's delegated authority.

Why does Weaver say that a child who never learns obedience cannot function in society?

Context: He argues that all areas of life—jobs, school, social settings—require submission to authority.

What are the three roles of parents as prophet, priest, and king, and how should they be exercised?

Context: Weaver explains that parents must teach God's Word, pray for their children, and rule according to Scripture.

How does Weaver reconcile the Old Testament death penalty for rebellious children with the lack of biblical examples of its application?

Context: He notes that no parent in Scripture actually brought a child for execution, showing parental mercy, but God's standard remains.

What does the disinheritance of Reuben teach about dealing with grown rebellious children today?

Context: Weaver uses Reuben as an example that parents may withhold inheritance from persistently wicked adult children.

Applications

Keep children in the main worship service to hear God's Word.

Summary: Parents should not separate children from the preaching of Scripture, as the Holy Spirit can illuminate their understanding just as He does adults.

Evidence: Gather the people together, men and women and children... that they may hear (Deuteronomy 31:12) and the argument that the Holy Spirit opens the eyes of both young and old.

Teach children to obey promptly and thoroughly.

Summary: Parents must insist on immediate, wholehearted obedience, as delayed or slothful obedience is equivalent to disobedience.

Evidence: Delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Parents must give clear, understandable commands.

Summary: Children cannot obey suggestions or unspoken expectations; parents should communicate directives distinctly.

Evidence: Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind.

Exercise parental authority as prophet, priest, and king.

Summary: Parents should teach Scripture, pray for their children, and rule over them according to God's Word.

Evidence: You are to be a prophet, a priest, and a king... declare the Word of God... make intercession... rule over those children.

Do not subsidize the sin of grown rebellious children.

Summary: Parents should not use their resources to support adult children who persist in rebellion; disinheritance is a biblical option.

Evidence: If you ever think for one minute that I'm going to subsidize your sin and your rebellion... you're mistaken.

Recognize disobedience to parents as a serious sin.

Summary: Children and parents alike must view disobedience as rebellion against God, listed among the darkest sins in Scripture.

Evidence: Disobedient to parents is placed in all of these sins in Romans 1... God frowns upon children's disobedience to parents.

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T19:10:04Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T12:18:47Z

Clean Transcript

The Family - Part 8

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

Let's open our Bibles to the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 6 today. Ephesians chapter 6. And I will take a few moments and review for those of you who have not been here in quite a while. Alright, Ephesians chapter 6. And of course we've been dealing with the family and we're still going to continue on that series for the next several weeks anyhow. And I just want to call your attention to the fact that I brought the first two messages dealing with the family and as an instrument of dominion. And of course, if you have forgotten those, I trust that you'll go back and listen to the tapes and refresh your mind how God created the family to be an instrument of dominion.
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Then I dealt with creation differences between men and women, and showed how they differed, not just physically, but emotionally and judgmentally as well. And then I showed God's intentional order, not only in creation, but in the family, how it is God, Christ, man, and woman. And in the family, He constituted the man as the head of the house. Alright? And then of course we began to look at the different roles that God has ordained to the members of the family.
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And we looked first of all at the wife. And so the key word for the wife was submit. And if you will remember that I told you it was a willing submission, but yet it was not optional because God commanded it. And I spent two messages dealing with the wife. And then last week I dealt with the role of the husband where the Bible says husbands love your wives. And of course, I pointed out how that is to be an exclusive love and a sacrificial love. And that we may not be able to love our wives quantitatively the way Christ does because Christ is God and he is capable of so much more love than we can ever give forth. But we may love our wives qualitatively, that is, with the same kind of love. So he says, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. So the wife is to submit and the husband is to love.
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Now, today we're going to come to Ephesians chapter 6, and we're going to read verses 1 through 3, because we're going to be dealing basically with the role of children. And let me just say that I'm only going to get half the message today, and the other half will be next Lord's Day. So, I want you to make sure that you are here next Lord's Day, because you're going to find out that when we're talking about children, it's not just little children. It's even adult children, because God has words for those who are little and for those who are old as well. So notice Ephesians chapter six, verse one, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
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Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth. Now, I want you to note. God had one key word for the wife, submit. God had one key word for the husband, love. But when it comes to the children, God has two key words, and that is obey and honor. And we live in a day when each of those concepts is despised. You look around today at the average home, the average family, children disobey, dishonor and live a life of rebellion. And they live that life of rebellion to the plain teaching of the Word of God. Now let me just tell you one of the main reasons that I believe that children are so disobedient and rebellious today. Here's the answer. Because they're not exposed to real biblical teaching and preaching. Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. There are a lot of Christian families that will say, well, I take my children to church.
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And yes, they do. And guess what happens when they go to that church? Their children are immediately taken from them and escorted to a junior church where everything is there watered down and given to the children on their level, so to speak. Let me point something out. Do you realize that God deals with children exactly as He deals with adults? That is, through His Word. There is no illumination, there is no enlightenment apart from the Word of God and apart from the Holy Spirit. I want you to look at the directives that God has given us in His Word. I want you to turn to three passages very quickly. And then I want to ask you some questions.
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The first one is Deuteronomy chapter 31 and verse 12. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Hold Ephesians 6, we're coming back there. Look in Deuteronomy 31 and verse 12. Notice the directions that God gives. Deuteronomy 31 verse 12. Here it is, he says, gather the people together, men and women and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear and that they may learn and fear the Lord your God, and observe to do all the words of this law. Now note carefully what he said, gather the people together, men, women and children, that they may hear. And that they may learn, and fear the Lord, and observe to do all the words of this law.
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Now look in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Turn right over to the book of Joshua. Joshua, Judges. Look in Joshua chapter 8, verses 34 and 35. Joshua chapter 8. And notice if you would please, verses 34 and 35. And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and the curses, according to all that is written in the book of the law. There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not, before all the congregation of Israel,
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with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them." Note, if you would, he read all of the law to the congregation with the women and the little ones.
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Now if you look in the book of Ezra chapter 10 and verse 1. Ezra chapter 10 and look at verse 1. Notice what the Bible says. Ezra chapter 10 verse 1. Now, when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children, for the people wept very sore." Isn't it interesting that in each of these three passages, it was men, women, and children who came together?
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Now, let me ask you several questions. First of all, based upon these verses and certainly other principles in the Word of God, do you think that in the Bible families were together when the Word of God was spoken or read? Well, very obviously it was. Let me ask you a further question. If God has constituted the Father as the head of the house, and if the Father is responsible for what his children learn.
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How can he be sure they're being taught the truth if they're separated from him and taken to a different part of the building and instructed without his knowledge and without his hearing, without him knowing the content of that instruction? It's absolutely impossible. That is why I believe that God is saying here men, women, and children are to hear the Word of God. Now, here's the argument. Let me show you. Some will say, well, Brother Weaver, don't you understand that when we have a junior church, they aren't hearing the Word of God. We've got to understand that children do not have the same level of intelligence that adults do. Adults are so much smarter, at least hopefully they should be, and therefore, what we have to do is try to speak to the children on their level so that they can understand the Word of God.
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Let me ask you a question. Answer this. Who can understand the Word of God apart from the illumination of the Holy Spirit? No one. Can an adult understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Can a child understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Do you realize the Holy Spirit is needed to open the eyes of both the young and the old?
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And He may do so without any difficulty whatsoever. And it doesn't matter whether that child is in the main preaching or anywhere else. No one is capable of understanding the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit. God only has one way of dealing with people. I don't care if they're men or women or children. And that one way is through His Word and by His Spirit. It does not matter if someone is a child like Samuel or someone is an adult like Saul of Tarsus. It still requires the illumination of the Holy Spirit to open the mind. Period. So why should you separate children? Why should they not be able to hear the pure, unadulterated Word of God?
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And when you try to argue, well, it's over their heads, it's also over the heads of the adults as well. And I can tell you, folks, I have been in a lot of churches and I have preached some of the simplest sermons. I mean, absolutely. To be honest, I was embarrassed to preach some of them. They were so simple. And yet I've had adults come up to me and say, oh, that is so deep and so profound.
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And I thought, Lord, have mercy. What level are you on? You see what I'm saying? I don't care how simple something is. I don't care how complex something is. The Holy Ghost can open the eyes of anyone—man, woman, or child.
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Now, children need to hear the Word of God. And they really need to hear the Word of God with their parents. That way, if there are any questions, they may ask their parents as well. Now, having told you one of my pet peeves and showing you what I believe is one of the reasons our children are so disobedient and so ignorant today of the Word of God, let me ask this question, what are God's directives to children? Well, he actually gives two directives. The first one is found in verse one, look in Ephesians 6, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Now, that's as far as we're going to get today, but I'm going to go ahead and give you the second word, verse two, honor thy father and thy mother which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. So two directives. He says obey and honor. Now let's go back to verse one. It begins with children.
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Children. Now, the Greek word for children is the little word teknon. The word normally signifies those who are young, but here it is used, evidently, to denote those who were under the care and government of their parents, or those who were not of age, or, listen carefully, those who were of age, but chose to remain under the authority of their parents.
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What do you do with an adult child who's living at home? He's still a child. And it's still the parents' home. And they still have the authority.
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Now, I'm going to explain a little bit more of that next week, but I'm just simply pointing out. This word is a very broad word and can be used not only of little tiny children, it can be used of teenagers, it can be used of what you and I would call grown children who are still living at home. And so God just simply says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
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Now, let's go forward with the definition of obedience. He says, children, obey. So you have to ask this question, what does it mean to obey? In order to communicate, we have to understand terms. We have to understand and comprehend definitions. So if I'm going to define obey, I want to define it in such a way that you and I know what we're talking about and that we have the same idea in mind. First of all, the word obey is a very explicit term. It comes from the Greek word hupakouō, which literally is translated in our Bible as obey, or to be obedient, and to hearken. The word originally had reference to a porter. You know what a porter was? I'm not talking about someone who carried something, but a porter was someone who stood at the door waiting for the knock, waiting for someone to say, open the door, and the porter then immediately reached out and he opened the door. So he's someone who listened, and he was someone who listened with the intent to obey.
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So when you hear the word obey that is used right here in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 1, it refers to someone who is listening, but it's not only listening, he's listening with the absolute intent to obey. He's someone who is waiting on instructions, and when he receives those instructions, he submits and does exactly what he's instructed to do.
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Now, let me show you. Look in verse 1. Children, obey your parents. Just so there is no misunderstanding, skip down to verse 5. Servants or slaves, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ.
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Now, let me ask you a question. Think about this. If you were my slave and I commanded you to do something, would you be obligated to obey me? And the answer is yes. The word obedient in verse 5 and the word obey in verse 1 are exactly the same word. So here's what God is saying to children. It's the children's responsibility to obey their parents just like it's the servant's or the slave's responsibility to obey his master's will.
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The application should be clear. The first duty that God has enjoined upon children is obedience, that is, to do exactly that which their parents have commanded them. So historically, practically, and biblically, it is the responsibility of children to obey.
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Now, the word obey is much stronger than the word submit. We look at the word submit when the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. But now when it comes to children, it says children obey. How can there be a difference between the words submit and obey? Here's the difference. Submission is the willing subjection of one person to another, whereas obedience is a more direct word and it demands action. It demands a response from someone who has the rightful authority to give that command. In other words, when I tell my children or my grandchildren what to do, what God is saying is this, they have a responsibility to obey. Why? Because I have the authority to command. So the word obey is a much stronger word than the word submit. Now, since children are to obey, obviously, they must be open to the direction of their parents.
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They must seek to understand those directions and they must carry out those directions to the best of their ability, fully intending to follow those directions. If I were to ask you as a parent, I want you to think about this. If I were to ask you as a parent, what is your response? When you give your child a directive or an order, and you find out that that child does what you've asked him to do, half-heartedly, sloppily, so much so that it would have been better off if you hadn't obeyed to begin with, what is your response to something like that?
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My question is this, does it not irritate you? Does it not make you say, look, delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience? And it is. And it is. I told my children, I tell my grandchildren, if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing right, and it's worth doing right the first time. And if you do something right the first time, you do not have to keep repeating it and doing it over and over. So, when children hear, and when children obey, they should do it right the first time. Now, let's ask a question. Why must children obey? Well, there are a lot of answers to that question. There are a lot of biblical answers. There are a lot of common sense answers. And I've always said this, and you've probably heard me say it, God has good sense. God does. Why in the world must children obey? Well, first of all, let me give you six reasons. Number one, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family. Obedience is necessary for the good order of a family.
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No family can function or be prosperous where there is not due subordination in the household. Do you think that I could possibly do what I do as a preacher and as a pastor without my wife? I couldn't. I have my role. She has her role. I could go further. Do you think that I could do what I do as a pastor and as a preacher without my grandchildren?
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Since my children are all grown. And the answer is no. The point I'm trying to show you is this, it takes order in any household to be functional and to be prosperous and to be successful. And if you have members of the household who are not willing to submit or not willing to obey, then you're going to have a breakdown in the family, you're going to have a breakdown in the household. So first of all, obedience is necessary for the good order of a family.
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Secondly, the welfare of the child depends upon his learning obedience. The welfare of a child depends upon his learning obedience. You know, I've often thought about this. Can you imagine what it is like? Let me rephrase it. Can you imagine what the future of a child will be like when that child has never learned to obey? A lot of families today are leaving their children to do their own thing.
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They don't want to interfere with their development. They're afraid they might warp their personality. I've got news for you. It's some other part of their anatomy that needs warping that will straighten out the personality. But, you know, well, we're going to let him do his own thing. Well, let me ask you a question. If the child has never learned to obey, how in the world can he ever hold down a job? If you work for me, I expect you to do what I ask you to do. If you want me to pay you, I expect you to do not only what I ask you to do, but the way that I ask you to do it. How can a child fit into a school situation, an educational situation? How could he fit into a social situation? A child that has never learned to obey just simply cannot function in society.
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And I'll tell you what tickles me and amazes me to no end. And that's these children who just don't like mom and daddy telling them what to do. They just can't stand it. They just can't wait to get out of the house. And when they get 18, they run off and join the army, where they're told what to do 24 hours a day. When to get up, when to go to bed, when to shower, when to shave, when to eat, what to eat and what not to eat. Beats me. But can you imagine what it is like for a child who has never, ever learned to obey? He just simply will not be able to function in society.
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Thirdly, younger children are not competent and are unable to reason. Therefore, they must be subject to the will of some other person. And very obviously, that some other person is or should be their parents. I mean, you can understand that at 3. You can understand that at 4. You can understand that at 7. And adults can understand it when their children are 16 and 17. Sometimes those children can't understand that. But very obviously, children are incapable in and of themselves. Number four, common sense tells you that parents by their age and by their experience are more qualified to direct and guide a child. Generally speaking, the love that God has placed in the hearts of those parents for their children will be enough to secure a just and loving direction for those children.
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How many of you have told your children, like I've told mine, and like my father told me, son, I don't want you to make the mistakes that I made. Sure, I've done that. Don't do this. I can tell you right now, it does not work. And when parents sit down and talk to their children like that, they've got the best interest of those children at heart. Fifthly, obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of God's government. Obedience is demanded because the family government is designed to be an imitation of the government of God. The government of God is what a perfect family government would be. And to accustom a child to obedience to a parent is designed to lead him to be obedient unto God. Now, listen very carefully. The child that is disobedient to his parents will be disobedient to his church, will be disobedient to the civil authorities, will be disobedient to God. You remember that verse? There is no fear of God before their eyes. Why?
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They've never learned obedience. The one who's learned obedience will fear being disobedient to God. The child who has learned obedience is most likely, humanly speaking, the child who would yield obedience to the Word of God and trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Sixthly, the best answer, the simplest answer is why children should obey is this. Because God commanded you to do so. It's just that simple. It is the will of God for children, period.
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Now, let's look in Ephesians six and verse one at the nature of obedience. He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. The nature of obedience. Children, obey your parents, look at it now, in the Lord. Now, you remember back in Ephesians 5, look at it in verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. You remember I pointed out the fact that a wife's submission to her husband was part and parcel of her submission to the Lord.
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In other words, it was a religious act. It was an act of worship. Well, it's the same thing when you come to Ephesians 6 and verse 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord. In other words, children have to look beyond their parents and see the Lord. Let me explain it like this. The authority that the parents possess is the authority from God Himself. So how then should children view their parents? Here's how they should view their parents. As God's delegated authority for their lives. Consequently, children need to understand that their obedience in seeking to please and honor their parents is also expressive of and demonstrative of seeking to please and honor the Lord who gave those children those parents. Obedience or disobedience goes beyond parents. When the Bible says, children obey your parents in the Lord, what does that mean?
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It just simply means this. The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord, that is, it's part of his worship, it's part of his honor of God. But the children who disobey their parents, it still goes beyond the parents. It's disobeying God and dishonoring God who gave those parents. In other words, the child who is disobedient to his parents is disobedient to the Lord. Now, it could be said, listen carefully now, it could be said that a child may be obedient to his parents and not be a Christian. But one cannot be a Christian child and be constantly and continuously disobedient to his parents. Why? For this is the will of God for the child. And to be in disobedience to the parents is sin and wickedness and rebellion. And when God saves us, when God converts us, we turn from our sin and our disobedience. So, rebellion and disobedience and dishonor on the part of a child is evidence of an unrepentant and unconverted heart. Again, we've got to remind you that the child's obedience is in the Lord.
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Now, just like I pointed this out when it came to husbands and wives, let me point this out again when it comes to parents and children. Generally speaking, the only time a child may lawfully disobey his parents is when those parents are commanding him to do something that is contrary to the Word of God. I have no right to command my children to rob a bank. I have no right to command my children to commit murder. I have no right to command my children to commit fornication. I have no right to command my children to do anything that's wicked and wrong and contrary to the Word of God. And if a parent asks a child to do that which is wicked and wrong, the child then should say to the parent, I love you, I want to honor you, I want to obey you, but in this instance, I cannot. I must obey God rather than man.
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Let me tell you what our Lord says in Matthew 10 in verse 37. Here's what He says. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. And he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. So what is he saying? He's saying children cannot place their parents above our Lord, nor can parents place their children above the Lord. No, we're to love the Lord supremely. He's sovereign. We love him first.
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And so that means no parent then has any right to ask their child to do that which is wicked and wrong. We must love the Lord first, and our parents second. Or we must love the Lord first, and our children second. He is to be first in all things.
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Now, let's go back to verse 1 again of Ephesians chapter 6. We've seen the nature of obedience. It's in the Lord. It is a religious act. Notice the reason for obedience. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Wow. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
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Now, get ready for this. The word right is the Greek word dikaios. That is the word that is translated in our Bibles as righteousness. Literally, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is righteousness. If a child wants to live a holy, godly life, he must obey his parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Now listen, if it is righteousness to obey, what would it be to disobey? Unrighteous. Sin. Wicked. Ungodly.
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So let's ask the question. Why should children obey their parents? The answer is, because it's right. Why is it right? Because it's righteousness. Why is it righteousness? Because that's the way God ordained it. God is the one who determines what is right and what is wrong. God is the one who determines what is just and what is unjust. God is the one who determines what is righteousness and what is unrighteousness. And for the child, he says, righteousness is summed up in two words, obedience and honor.
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Now, look in your Bibles to the book of Colossians, chapter 3, verse 20. Just turn over a few verses or few pages. Colossians 3, verse 20. And look what he says here. Colossians 3, verse 20. Children, obey your parents in all things. Wow. For this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Now, listen. Ephesians 6 in verse 1 said, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Now, if it is right, it is righteousness. Are you listening? If it is righteous, it is well-pleasing to the Lord.
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Now, I want you to note something. Listen carefully, children. Those of you who are here, listen carefully. God does not command you to obey as long as you understand. God does not command you to obey if you're able to reason things out. He just simply commands you to obey. Whether you understand or not. Whether you can see the logic or not is immaterial. Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness. It's righteous for a child to obey. Now, oftentimes when parents ask, tell, or command their children to do something, the children give you that famous question, why?
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Have you ever been asked that? Why? Please go do this. Why? Please don't do that. Why? And usually the parent will say something like this. Because I said so.
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Now, let me tell you something, frankly speaking, that's a good answer. And biblically speaking, it should be a sufficient answer. Because the parent is the authority. God's delegated authority. But you and I both know that sometimes as children age, as they mature, when they ask why, it is not necessarily out of rebellion or disobedience. They want to know the logical explanation. For instance, when Lacy was three or four, I could say, Lacy, do such and such.
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And her response should have been, yes, sir. Now she's a teenager, I ask her to do something. Well, Papa, why are you asking me to do that? Well, that's the opportunity then for me to explain the reason, the logic behind it or the scriptural admonition behind it. In other words, now it's not disobedience, it's that she wants to know, she wants to learn, she wants to understand.
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So you have to deal with children on different levels of maturity. But if a parent ever says to the child, I don't care if the child is 3 or 16 or 17 or 18 at their home, because I said so, that is still a legitimate and biblical answer. And truthfully, you and I both know that parents have the best interest of their children in the heart. Most parents are not going to ask their children to do anything that will be detrimental to their welfare. And if you are a child and you profess faith in Jesus Christ, what is God's command to you? Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
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Now, let me show you. Look in your Bibles to the book of Luke, chapter 2, verse 51. Luke 2. And I think this is a wonderful illustration. I used it in reference to the wives, but I'm using it again in reference to children. You remember how our Lord had been left behind? He's 12 years of age. He's in the temple hearing and answering questions. His parents supposed that he was in the crowd, but he wasn't.
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They went back and saw him. And look in verse 47. Luke 2 verse 47, And all they that heard him were astonished at his understanding and his answers. And when they saw him, they were amazed. And his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that you sought me?
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Wist ye not that I must be about my father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake to them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them. And his mother kept all these things in her heart. Did our Lord know more than his parents? Yes. More intellectual, more smarter, yes, more power, more ability, more understanding, all those things, yes.
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But when they said, son, come home. Yes, ma'am. And he went and submitted himself unto them, and the Bible teaches us in 1 Peter 2, that Christ is to be our example in all things. And in this he submitted to and was obedient to his parents. Now, when the Bible says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Let me speak to you parents just for a moment. This passage assumes that you are giving clear, distinct and understandable commands to your children.
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Let me clue you in on something. Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind. And they cannot obey that which they do not understand. So if you want your children to obey you, then you must give clear and distinct commands. OK, secondly, listen to this, parents. God has placed you in a unique position. That unique position is this. You are to be three things to your children. What are they? Here they are.
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You are to be a prophet, a priest, and a king. What is the parent's role as a prophet? As a prophet, the parent is to declare the Word of God to the children. What is the parent's role as a priest? He is to make intercession. He is to pray for those children. What is his role as a king? Are you listening? He is to rule over those children. You do not leave children alone. You do not allow children to do their own thing, no. Children do not rule the home. The parents rule the home, for the parents are prophet, priest, and king.
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The three offices that our Lord holds. He's prophet, priest, and king to the church. That's what this passage is all about. Wives are to picture the church. Husbands are to picture Christ. And as Christ is prophet, priest, and king over his family, so parents are to be prophet, priest, and king over their family. They're to declare the Word of God, pray, and make intercession for their children, and rule over those children. But how do they rule?
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Well, if you go back to Deuteronomy 17, and do that. Look particularly at verses 18 through 20 at what God demands of a king. Deuteronomy chapter 17. Begin there with verse 18. Deuteronomy 17. Verse 18, look what God says.
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Deuteronomy 17 verse 18. Here's what God requires of a king: And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priests the Levites. And it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them, that his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left, to the end that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his children in the midst of Israel." What did God say? God said he's to have his own copy of the Word of God, he's to read therein day and night, he's to learn the fear of the Lord, he's to keep all the words of this law and these statutes to do them, that his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he
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may prolong his days, both not only his, but his children as well. So, how then are parents to rule? Parents are to rule according to the Word of God. That is our standard. That is our rule book. That gives us the directions for ruling over our children. Listen carefully. Parents do have the authority to tell their children how to dress, what to do, where they may go, where they may not go, how long they may stay, and anything else that falls under the purview of kingship. The parents are kings over their children. Not the village. Not the public school. Not the government. The parents. They are the authority in the home and they may instruct and command and chastise and punish according to the Word of God. Because the Word of God is the rule book for kings and prophets and priests.
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Now, here's what our children must come to realize. They must come to realize that failure to obey the parents is a great sin. It's nothing short of rebellion. And when children disobey their parents, it is nothing less than a despising of those parents. But it goes beyond the parents. It is also a despising of God and His sovereign authority who ordained those parents to be the authority in that home. So rebellion to the parents is rebellion to God.
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Now, let me try to answer one other question. Would you say, Pastor, we're living in a day and age where we've lost an entire generation, and that is true. I told one man a few years ago, I said, you know, it was a black man that I was talking to. I said, you know, I hate to say it, but it's the truth. Children under 40 in today's society from both black and white families are usually not worth shooting.
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Now, you just stop and think about that. You look at how the children of this past generation lived and are living, and you look at the lack of morals and the lack of standards that they have. So here's my question. What do we do with grown children who've never learned to obey and who are rebellious and wicked and ungodly? And unless God's grace touches them, for all practical purposes, they're worthless and useless and no account. The Word of God gives two remedies for those children. If you look in your Bibles to Deuteronomy 21. Deuteronomy 21.
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Here's the first remedy for rebellious children. And when I say rebellious children, I'm not talking about a child that's five or six years of age or even 10 or 12, and you will understand why. Look in Deuteronomy 21 verse 18. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them. Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and into the gate of his place. And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.
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He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die. So shalt thou put evil away from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear." Wow.
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Now, that ought to sink deeply into our hearts. God demands the death penalty for grown, stubborn, rebellious, recalcitrant children.
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Now, when I say children, please remember again, I'm not talking about five or six years old, for instance. This man was old enough to be a drunkard. He was stubborn. He wouldn't work. When he was chastened, he wouldn't listen. What did the parents do? They brought him to the elders of the city and they said, this our son's a drunkard. He's worthless. He's useless. He's stubborn. You can't chastise him. He won't listen. He won't receive it.
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And they held a trial for him. And they put him to death.
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Now, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, well, Brother Weaver, that's impractical today because, number one, we don't have a government who will execute anybody. And that's just about the truth. But let me tell you something. The death penalty still has not been done away with. God is still on the throne and God can execute it whenever he chooses. OK, but let me show you something else that's very enlightening.
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Although this law is in the Bible, as many times as I read the Bible, I have never found one instance where this has been applied. What does that mean? That means this, that parents are willing to go as far as they can go to salvage their children. I have known parents who had to call the law on their adult children, who were either dopeheads or drunkards and threatening their lives. I understand that. But I'm just saying. There's not one instance in the Bible of a parent bringing the child to the elders and saying, here he is, execute him.
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Now, let me just say something else right here. The family does not have the power to execute anyone. Lest someone think, well, the government won't do it, I'll just take matters into my own hands. No, God has never given the family the power to execute anyone, never has had that authority. But what you could do as a priest and as a prophet is turn that child over to God and say, Lord, you deal with him. I can't. I know what your law demands, but I can't do it. And the government is so wicked it won't do it. But Lord, you're still on the throne and you can still execute your justice.
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That was one way of dealing with it. But there was another way. And this is what is followed usually. The second method of dealing with grown, rebellious children is disinheritance. You disinherit them. Does anybody know who Jacob's firstborn was? Reuben. It was Reuben. But who was it that got the double portion? It wasn't Reuben, it was Joseph. You know why? Reuben went into his father's concubine and defiled his father's bed.
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And Jacob said, you're disinherited. You're not getting this. The birthright's not going to you. It's going to someone else. Now, listen very carefully. Christian parents have an obligation for everything that God has given them. Whatever God has given you, He's given you as a stewardship. And if you have grown adult, rebellious, disobedient, hateful, unbelieving children, you don't leave your stewardship to them. I told my children, I've told my grandchildren.
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As long as you do what's right, I'll break my neck to help you. I'll give you everything I've got. But if you ever think for one minute that I'm going to subsidize your sin and your rebellion and help you do what's wrong and wicked, you're mistaken. You're on your own. We have a responsibility not to throw away the stewardship that God has given us on wicked, disobedient, rebellious children. And therefore, parents have the choice, biblically speaking, when they have grown children who are disobedient and wicked, they may either turn them over to civil authorities or they may disinherit. And by the way, I want you to turn in your Bibles to two, well, three passages, and we'll close.
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But look in Romans chapter 1 and 2 Timothy chapter 3, and then we're going back to Proverbs. But I want you to look at Romans chapter 1, and I just want you to see that God lists disobedience to parents as some of the darkest sins and some of the most wicked and evil sins. Look, if you would, in Romans chapter 1, beginning there with verse 18. Romans 1 verse 18. Look at it. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Now skip down to verse 30. He's talking about the wrath of God being revealed against those who hold the truth in unrighteousness. Verse 30, backbiters, he's telling some of these who hold the truth in unrighteousness, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. Isn't that amazing? Disobedient to parents is placed in all of these sins in Romans 1 verses 30 through 31 there. Disobedient to parents, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things.
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Look in your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 and 2. 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 1. This know also that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. In the middle of all those dark, dank sins, disobedient to parents. Isn't that amazing? God frowns upon children's disobedience to parents. One last scripture. Look in your Bibles to Proverbs 30 and verse 17. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Look what God says. Proverbs 30, verse 17. Are you there? Proverbs 30, verse 17. Here it is.
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The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it. Do I need to tell you that that means that God will kill the disobedient children? It's the judgment of death. The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it."
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Disobedience to parents is a serious sin. We may take it lightly, but God does not.
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Now let me make two quick applications. The first one is this. It is amazingly simple how easily explained the roles of the family really is. Husbands love. Wives submit. Children obey and honor. Isn't that simple? Isn't that easy? I mean, you don't have to learn an instruction manual of 445 pages to know what your role is. It's simple. Thank God the government never designed these roles. You can even read through the book of regulations. And it's so simple.
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Why is it that we can't grasp such simplicity? I'm going to tell you why. Because of our natural depravity, our sin and rebellion. Husbands do not want to love the way they are commanded. Wives do not want to submit the way they are commanded. Children do not want to obey and honor the way they are commanded. It's our wickedness, it is our sin, it is our rebellion that keeps us from having the family that God has designed that we have. If we would obey...
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We would find that our families would turn out to be heaven on earth. The second application is this. Children who wish to be righteous, who wish to obey and honor and worship the Lord Jesus Christ, must obey their parents. Why? For that is righteousness for a child. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness. It is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Let's pray. Father, we do ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you would help us, that you would make us holy, that you would make us godly. And Lord, help these words, these directives to sink deeply into our hearts, not only as children, but as parents. And may, Father, we give honor and glory unto Thee, and do that which is right and holy, in the name of Jesus Christ we ask and pray, Amen.
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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T19:10:04Z

The Family - Part 8

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

John Weaver continues his series on the family by addressing the role of children from Ephesians 6:1-3. He emphasizes two key directives for children: obey and honor. The sermon focuses on the first directive—obedience—defining it as listening with intent to obey, stronger than submission, and required because it is righteousness. Weaver argues that children must hear the Word of God alongside their parents, that disobedience is rebellion against God, and that parents are to rule as prophet, priest, and king. He also briefly touches on biblical remedies for grown rebellious children, including capital punishment and disinheritance.

Introduction and Review of the Family Series

Weaver reviews previous messages on the family as an instrument of dominion, creation differences, God's order, and the roles of wives (submit) and husbands (love).

The Two Directives for Children: Obey and Honor

Weaver introduces Ephesians 6:1-3, noting that children have two key words—obey and honor—and that today's message will cover only obedience.

Scripture Reading — Ephesians 6:1-3

children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Children Must Hear the Word of God with Parents

Weaver argues from Deuteronomy 31:12, Joshua 8:34-35, and Ezra 10:1 that families should remain together during preaching, as the Holy Spirit illuminates both young and old.

with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.

Scripture Reading — Ezra 10:1

" Note, if you would, he read all of the law to the congregation with the women and the little ones. Now if you look in the book of Ezra chapter 10 and verse 1. Ezra chapter 10 and look at verse 1. Notice what the Bible says. Ezra chapter 10 verse 1. Now, when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children, for the people wept very sore."

Isn't it interesting that in each of these three passages, it was men, women, and children who came together?

Definition and Nature of Obedience

Weaver defines 'obey' (hupakouō) as listening with intent to obey, stronger than submission, and compares it to a slave's obedience in verse 5.

What do you do with an adult child who's living at home? He's still a child. And it's still the parents' home. And they still have the authority.

Six Reasons Children Must Obey

Weaver lists six reasons: good order of the family, welfare of the child, children's incompetence, parents' greater experience, imitation of God's government, and God's command.

Obedience 'in the Lord' as a Religious Act

Weaver explains that obedience is 'in the Lord,' meaning it is an act of worship toward God, and disobedience is rebellion against God's delegated authority.

Obedience Is Righteousness

Weaver teaches that 'for this is right' means obedience is righteousness (dikaios), and cites Colossians 3:20 to show it is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Have you ever been asked that? Why? Please go do this. Why? Please don't do that. Why? And usually the parent will say something like this. Because I said so.

Parents as Prophet, Priest, and King

Weaver explains that parents are to declare God's Word, intercede in prayer, and rule over their children according to Scripture, as seen in Deuteronomy 17:18-20.

Scripture Reading — Deuteronomy 17:18-20

" What did God say? God said he's to have his own copy of the Word of God, he's to read therein day and night, he's to learn the fear of the Lord, he's to keep all the words of this law and these statutes to do them, that his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he

Biblical Remedies for Grown Rebellious Children

Weaver discusses two remedies: capital punishment under civil authority (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) and disinheritance (as with Reuben), emphasizing God's seriousness about rebellion.

Disobedience Listed Among Dark Sins

Weaver cites Romans 1:30-31, 2 Timothy 3:1-2, and Proverbs 30:17 to show that disobedience to parents is ranked with grave sins and brings God's judgment.

Applications and Closing Prayer

Weaver applies the simplicity of family roles and the necessity of obedience for righteousness, then closes in prayer.

The Family - Part 8

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	121407844572
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Children, Fatherhood, and Generational Faithfulness: The Family
Genre	Sermon
Date	2007-10-28
Dictation Name
Book	Book 035: The Family — Chapter 8
Source Timed Segments	82

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction and Review of the Family Series: Weaver reviews previous messages on the family as an instrument of dominion, creation differences, God's order, and the roles of wives (submit) and husbands (love).
The Two Directives for Children: Obey and Honor: Weaver introduces Ephesians 6:1-3, noting that children have two key words—obey and honor—and that today's message will cover only obedience.
Children Must Hear the Word of God with Parents: Weaver argues from Deuteronomy 31:12, Joshua 8:34-35, and Ezra 10:1 that families should remain together during preaching, as the Holy Spirit illuminates both young and old.
Definition and Nature of Obedience: Weaver defines 'obey' (hupakouō) as listening with intent to obey, stronger than submission, and compares it to a slave's obedience in verse 5.
Six Reasons Children Must Obey: Weaver lists six reasons: good order of the family, welfare of the child, children's incompetence, parents' greater experience, imitation of God's government, and God's command.
Obedience 'in the Lord' as a Religious Act: Weaver explains that obedience is 'in the Lord,' meaning it is an act of worship toward God, and disobedience is rebellion against God's delegated authority.
Obedience Is Righteousness: Weaver teaches that 'for this is right' means obedience is righteousness (dikaios), and cites Colossians 3:20 to show it is well-pleasing to the Lord.
Parents as Prophet, Priest, and King: Weaver explains that parents are to declare God's Word, intercede in prayer, and rule over their children according to Scripture, as seen in Deuteronomy 17:18-20.
Biblical Remedies for Grown Rebellious Children: Weaver discusses two remedies: capital punishment under civil authority (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) and disinheritance (as with Reuben), emphasizing God's seriousness about rebellion.
Disobedience Listed Among Dark Sins: Weaver cites Romans 1:30-31, 2 Timothy 3:1-2, and Proverbs 30:17 to show that disobedience to parents is ranked with grave sins and brings God's judgment.
Applications and Closing Prayer: Weaver applies the simplicity of family roles and the necessity of obedience for righteousness, then closes in prayer.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

Children must hear the Word of God alongside their parents because the Holy Spirit alone gives understanding.

Weaver argues that since no one can understand Scripture without the Holy Spirit, separating children from the main service is unnecessary and harmful.

Who can understand the Word of God apart from the illumination of the Holy Spirit? No one. Can an adult understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No. Can a child understand the Word of God apart from the Holy Spirit? No.

Obedience is stronger than submission and demands action.

Unlike submission, which is willing subjection, obedience requires a direct response to a command from rightful authority.

Submission is the willing subjection of one person to another, whereas obedience is a more direct word and it demands action.

Delayed or slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Weaver insists that children must obey promptly and thoroughly, as half-hearted obedience irritates parents and fails to meet God's standard.

Delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Obedience is necessary for the good order and prosperity of the family.

A family cannot function without due subordination; each member must fulfill their role for the household to succeed.

No family can function or be prosperous where there is not due subordination in the household.

A child who never learns obedience cannot function in society.

Without learning to obey parents, a child will struggle in jobs, school, and social settings, as all require submission to authority.

If the child has never learned to obey, how in the world can he ever hold down a job?

Obedience to parents is obedience to God; disobedience is rebellion against God.

Parents are God's delegated authority, so a child's obedience or disobedience directly reflects their relationship with God.

The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord... But the children who disobey their parents... it's disobeying God and dishonoring God.

Parents must give clear, distinct commands for children to obey.

Children cannot obey suggestions or read minds; parents must communicate understandable directives.

Children cannot obey suggestions. Nor can they read your mind. And they cannot obey that which they do not understand.

Grown rebellious children may be dealt with by civil execution or disinheritance.

Weaver presents Deuteronomy 21:18-21 and the example of Reuben to show biblical remedies for persistently rebellious adult children.

God demands the death penalty for grown, stubborn, rebellious, recalcitrant children... The second method of dealing with grown, rebellious children is disinheritance.

Scripture References

Ephesians 6:1-3: Primary text for the sermon; commands children to obey and honor parents.
Deuteronomy 31:12: Used to show that men, women, and children were gathered to hear God's law.
Joshua 8:34-35: Joshua read all the law to the congregation including women and little ones.
Ezra 10:1: A great congregation of men, women, and children assembled to hear Ezra.
Ephesians 6:5: Servants are to be obedient to masters; the same Greek word for obey is used as in verse 1.
Ephesians 5:22: Wives submit to husbands as unto the Lord; compared to children's obedience in the Lord.
Matthew 10:37: Loving father or mother more than Christ makes one unworthy; used to show limits of parental authority.
Colossians 3:20: Children obey parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
Luke 2:47-51: Jesus at age 12 submitted to his parents, serving as an example for children.
1 Peter 2: Christ is our example in all things, including submission to parents.
Deuteronomy 17:18-20: Requirements for a king to read and obey God's law; applied to parents ruling their children.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21: Law for stoning a stubborn and rebellious son; presented as a remedy for grown rebellious children.
Romans 1:18, 30-31: Disobedience to parents listed among sins that bring God's wrath.
2 Timothy 3:1-2: Disobedience to parents listed as a characteristic of perilous last days.
Proverbs 30:17: The eye that mocks a father and despises a mother will be picked out by ravens; a warning of death.

Historical References

Reuben and Joseph (disinheritance example): Reuben lost his birthright for defiling his father's bed; Joseph received the double portion.

Important Quotes

Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

The central command of the sermon, establishing obedience as the primary duty of children.

Delayed and slothful obedience is equal to disobedience.

Emphasizes that obedience must be prompt and wholehearted, not half-hearted.

The child that obeys his parents does so as unto the Lord and in the Lord, that is, it's part of his worship, it's part of his honor of God.

Frames obedience as a religious act of worship, not mere compliance.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteousness.

Weaver's translation of 'right' as 'righteousness,' making obedience a matter of holiness.

The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it.

A stark warning of God's judgment on disobedience, used to close the sermon.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

Why does Weaver believe children should remain in the main worship service rather than attend a separate 'junior church'?

[Context]

Weaver argues from Scripture that families heard God's Word together and that the Holy Spirit illuminates all ages.

[Question]

How does the command for children to 'obey' differ from the command for wives to 'submit'?

[Context]

Weaver explains that obedience is stronger and demands action, while submission is willing subjection.

[Question]

What does it mean for a child to obey 'in the Lord,' and how does this affect their view of parental authority?

[Context]

Weaver teaches that obedience is an act of worship toward God, and parents are God's delegated authority.

[Question]

Why does Weaver say that a child who never learns obedience cannot function in society?

[Context]

He argues that all areas of life—jobs, school, social settings—require submission to authority.

[Question]

What are the three roles of parents as prophet, priest, and king, and how should they be exercised?

[Context]

Weaver explains that parents must teach God's Word, pray for their children, and rule according to Scripture.

[Question]

How does Weaver reconcile the Old Testament death penalty for rebellious children with the lack of biblical examples of its application?

[Context]

He notes that no parent in Scripture actually brought a child for execution, showing parental mercy, but God's standard remains.

[Question]

What does the disinheritance of Reuben teach about dealing with grown rebellious children today?

[Context]

Weaver uses Reuben as an example that parents may withhold inheritance from persistently wicked adult children.

Applications

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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T12:18:47Z