Introduction and the Fifth Commandment

Weaver introduces the topic by reading Exodus 20:12 and Genesis 37:1-11, establishing the biblical command to honor parents and the narrative of Joseph's family.

Genesis 37 and Exodus chapter 20. Our main text, of course, is going to be Genesis 37, but I do want to read Exodus 20 and verse 12, and you will understand why, because Exodus 20 and verse 12 is the fifth commandment. And God says in Exodus 20 and verse 12,

Now, if you'll look in Genesis 37, and beginning there with verse 1, and we're not going to read the entire chapter, although we're going to be using the entire chapter, "And Jacob dwelt in the land where his father was a stranger in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob." "Joseph, being 17 years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren, and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought unto his father their evil report. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was a son of his old age, and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren, and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, 'Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed.'"

"For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright, and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf." And his brethren said unto him, "Shalt thou indeed reign over us? Or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us?" And they hated him yet the more for his dreams and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream, and he told it his brethren, and said, "Behold, I have dreamed a dream more. And behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me." And he told it to his father and to his brethren, and his father rebuked him and said unto him, "What is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I, thy mother and thy brethren, indeed come to bow down ourselves to thee in the earth?" And his brethren envied him, but his father observed the same." The message today is entitled, "How Not to Treat Your Father and Your Mother."

The Requirement of Obedience and Honor

God requires both obedience and honor from children; while obedience may lessen in adulthood, honor is a lifelong duty.

"Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth." Now, strictly speaking, we might could say that there is a time when, generally speaking, obedience ceases. And that time would be, of course, when the child is grown, has married, and has left his parents' home and established a home of his own, and therefore he is now the head of a new home, or the wife is now in submission to her husband. However, I do believe that even a grown child is obligated under God's law to continue to obey his parents as long as he can, and especially if the grown child is living at home under his parents' roof. And you've got to also think about this. Even as an adult child, when we return home to visit our parents, they are still our parents. It is their home, and we should try to obey them as much as we could to the best of our ability. We certainly would want to do so out of honor and respect for them as much as possible. Now, if you wanted to even quibble over an adult child obeying his parents when he's at home, you might quibble just a little bit, but you cannot quibble over "honor thy father and thy mother," because there is never a time when we are to cease honoring our father and our mother.

Dishonoring Parents Through Sibling Hatred and Envy

Hatred and envy among siblings dishonor parents; these sins arise from perceived partiality, refusal to compromise with evil, and lead to tragedy.

So let's begin asking a question. How in the world did hatred and envy arise in the sons of Jacob? Well, the answer is going to be, first and foremost, that hatred and envy often arise from a perceived advantage or partiality, as well as from a perception of dominance and superiority. Now, I want you to notice what I just said. Hatred and envy often arise from a perceived—that is, from a perception or a perceived advantage or partiality. In other words, the advantage does not have to be real. The partiality does not have to be real. But just as individuals perceive that it is real and that it is true. And you know the story in Genesis chapter 37, how that here Joseph was given this coat of many colors—and I'll explain that just momentarily—and then I just read you about the dreams, how Joseph dreamed that they were out in the field and all the sheaves of his brothers bowed down to him. And then, of course, he dreamed another dream, how the sun and the moon and the stars bowed down to him. And they were upset.

And even Jacob said, "Is it true that I, your father, and your mother and your brother are all going to bow down to you?" So here were things that would be a perceived advantage that Joseph had, which would stir up what you and I would call hatred and envy. Now, let me deal with this phrase, because the Bible says very plainly, verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob, Joseph being 17 years old." Now, skip down to verse 3. "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children." And here it is reading, "because he was a son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colors." Now, that verse could also be read like this: "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and he was a son of his old age."

Now, it is true that elderly parents normally dote over young children. That's true. And if you don't believe that, just watch our grandparents act about their grandkids. But you have to remember this: Joseph was not the youngest child. He had a brother younger than he was, Benjamin. Moreover, may I remind you that Benjamin was born as Rachel died. So if there's going to be special consideration given, it would certainly be given toward Benjamin even more so than Joseph. So how then do we understand this, that Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and/or because he was the son of his old age? The "son of the old age" is a phrase that may be interpreted to refer to a wise son.

Let me explain that this way: that Joseph was a son who possessed wisdom above his years. You could say it like this: he had an old head on young shoulders. Joseph then was a wise and prudent son. And old age is normally associated with wisdom and prudence. Not always, but it usually is. And so the phrase then actually would refer to Joseph as one who was born old or one who was born wise above his years. In other words, one that had a gray head at such a young age.

Now Joseph was indeed a child like this, and good evidence is given just in this chapter as well. Because if you look back at verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being 17 years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren, and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought unto his father their evil report."

Now, I'll just tell you right now, I don't know what those boys were doing, but it was certainly wrong. It was certainly wicked. And Joseph brought the report to his father. I'll say something about that a little bit later. Moreover, you've got to remember that in verse 2 it is, Joseph was 17 years of age when he was sold into slavery. Which means then that he would have been probably 18 or 19 in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar's wife made her play for him. And so Joseph then did not allow his teenage hormones to take over. He stood for principle and stood for that which was right. So Joseph then, throughout the scripture, is known for a virtuous and godly life. And this was evidence at a very early age.

Now, the coat of many colors that was given to him was Jacob's recognition of his character. But it was not only Jacob's recognition of his character. It was a coat that conferred upon Joseph the rights of the firstborn. Now, it is true that Joseph was the firstborn of Rachel. But it is not true that Joseph was actually Jacob's firstborn. Jacob's firstborn was Reuben. Reuben should have actually gotten the birthright, but he did not do so. And let me just quote it for you, 1 Chronicles 5, verse 1: "Now the sons of Reuben, the firstborn of Israel, for he was the firstborn, but forasmuch as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph, the son of Israel, and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright." So Reuben then went in to his father's wife, to one of the handmaids that was given to Jacob. And Jacob said, "No, you will not be the firstborn. You will not have the birthright. You may be the actual firstborn, but your character demonstrates that you're not worthy to have the birthright."

And so here, Joseph has a godly character and he is replacing Reuben and receiving the inheritance of the firstborn. Secondly, let me point out that hatred and envy arise oftentimes when one refuses to betray his principles, when he refuses to compromise. So in verse 2, again, Joseph refuses to go along with his brethren. I do not know what they were going to do. Whatever they were doing was obviously wicked. It was going to be detrimental to Jacob. Maybe they were going to defraud Jacob. Maybe they were going to steal some of the sheep. Maybe they were going to sell some of the cattle. I don't know. But whatever it was, Joseph said, "No, that is not right. That is wicked. That is wrong. I will not participate. I will not go along."

And not only did he not go along, he came back and told his father exactly what they were doing. May I remind you in this instance, Joseph was not a talebearer. He was not a gossiper. He was not a troublemaker. He was not a sower of discord among the brethren. What Joseph was doing was bringing the problem to the one who could fix the problem. He brought the problem to the one who had the solution and could do something about it.

So very obviously, oftentimes, hatred and envy will arise when you're wicked and you try to get someone else to go along with you and they won't do it. And then you call him "Mr. Goody Two Shoes" and you begin to make fun of him. And the next thing you know, there's pure despisement of him. Thirdly, I want to point out that hatred and envy are personal sins that affect behavior and lead to tragedy and disaster. I want you to look at verse 4. Watch this verse carefully. "And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably toward him." Now, their inability to speak peaceably to Joseph was not a physical inability, but a moral one. They still have the ability with their tongues to frame the words, to speak peacefully and civilly. But their moral inability—that is, they hated him so they could not do so.

Sin affects every area of our lives. You stop and ask yourself this question: How can one brother murder another brother? Or how can one sister murder another sister? And we have often read and heard of one child murdering an entire family. How in the world can that happen? You always find that those individuals who do something like that are filled with hatred and envy. They are selfish, they are self-willed, they are wicked. I have heard, I have read of teenagers murdering their parents over video games. I have read of individuals murdering their brothers over 50 cents.

Sometimes even much less than that. I remember when I was in college, I worked at the hospital and sometimes I was on the back desk by the emergency room. And I never will forget, I saw a man come in. His throat was cut from ear to ear. He had a towel catching the blood as he walked into the emergency room. Evidently, thankfully, it did not hit the jugular vein, but he was holding that bleeding. And as he walked by my desk, I heard him say, "My son did this to me."

He said, "I didn't give him any reason to do it. I guess when I get over this, I'm going to have to go home and kill him." I'm just simply pointing out the fact, folks, when anyone is filled with hatred and envy and when they cannot discuss their own problems or speak civilly or peacefully to someone, it's not going to be long before disaster strikes. So we dishonor our parents then by allowing hatred and envy among the siblings. When brothers and sisters cannot get along and they're envious and hateful toward each other, it's wicked and it's dishonoring to the parents.

Joseph's Character and the Coat of Many Colors

Joseph's wisdom and godly character earned him Jacob's favor and the birthright, symbolized by the coat, which provoked his brothers' envy.

Now, that verse could also be read like this: "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and he was a son of his old age." Now, it is true that elderly parents normally dote over young children. That's true. And if you don't believe that, just watch our grandparents act about their grandkids. But you have to remember this: Joseph was not the youngest child. He had a brother younger than he was, Benjamin. Moreover, may I remind you that Benjamin was born as Rachel died. So if there's going to be special consideration given, it would certainly be given toward Benjamin even more so than Joseph. So how then do we understand this, that Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and/or because he was the son of his old age? The "son of the old age" is a phrase that may be interpreted to refer to a wise son.

Let me explain that this way: that Joseph was a son who possessed wisdom above his years. You could say it like this: he had an old head on young shoulders. Joseph then was a wise and prudent son. And old age is normally associated with wisdom and prudence. Not always, but it usually is. And so the phrase then actually would refer to Joseph as one who was born old or one who was born wise above his years. In other words, one that had a gray head at such a young age.

Now Joseph was indeed a child like this, and good evidence is given just in this chapter as well. Because if you look back at verse 2, "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being 17 years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren, and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought unto his father their evil report."

Now, I'll just tell you right now, I don't know what those boys were doing, but it was certainly wrong. It was certainly wicked. And Joseph brought the report to his father. I'll say something about that a little bit later. Moreover, you've got to remember that in verse 2 it is, Joseph was 17 years of age when he was sold into slavery. Which means then that he would have been probably 18 or 19 in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar's wife made her play for him. And so Joseph then did not allow his teenage hormones to take over. He stood for principle and stood for that which was right. So Joseph then, throughout the scripture, is known for a virtuous and godly life. And this was evidence at a very early age.

Now, the coat of many colors that was given to him was Jacob's recognition of his character. But it was not only Jacob's recognition of his character. It was a coat that conferred upon Joseph the rights of the firstborn. Now, it is true that Joseph was the firstborn of Rachel. But it is not true that Joseph was actually Jacob's firstborn. Jacob's firstborn was Reuben. Reuben should have actually gotten the birthright, but he did not do so. And let me just quote it for you, 1 Chronicles 5, verse 1: "Now the sons of Reuben, the firstborn of Israel, for he was the firstborn, but forasmuch as he defiled his father's bed, his birthright was given unto the sons of Joseph, the son of Israel, and the genealogy is not to be reckoned after the birthright." So Reuben then went in to his father's wife, to one of the handmaids that was given to Jacob. And Jacob said, "No, you will not be the firstborn. You will not have the birthright. You may be the actual firstborn, but your character demonstrates that you're not worthy to have the birthright."

And so here, Joseph has a godly character and he is replacing Reuben and receiving the inheritance of the firstborn. Secondly, let me point out that hatred and envy arise oftentimes when one refuses to betray his principles, when he refuses to compromise. So in verse 2, again, Joseph refuses to go along with his brethren. I do not know what they were going to do. Whatever they were doing was obviously wicked. It was going to be detrimental to Jacob. Maybe they were going to defraud Jacob. Maybe they were going to steal some of the sheep. Maybe they were going to sell some of the cattle. I don't know. But whatever it was, Joseph said, "No, that is not right. That is wicked. That is wrong. I will not participate. I will not go along."

Denigrating a Sibling's Calling

Trying to destroy a sibling's God-given vocation dishonors parents; Joseph's brothers envied his dreams rather than encouraging him.

Secondly, I want you to note that deliberately trying to denigrate, derail, and destroy the vocation or the calling of the siblings is dishonorable to the parents. Evidently, the providence of God had marked Joseph out for an unusual service. Joseph was not endeavoring to lord it over his brethren by simply sharing with them his dreams. He told them, "Your sheaves bow down to mine. The sun and the moon, the stars bow down to me." Let me ask you a question. If God in His sovereign providence had marked Joseph out for an unusual service, an unusual calling, why was there not encouragement? Why was there suspicion and resentment? Even if Joseph had come to a place of prominence, even if Joseph had come to a place of superiority, may I ask you a question? Would you not rather have your brother to rule over you than a stranger?

I don't know about you, but I had. Because if he's my flesh and blood, if he's my family, very obviously, he's going to be more gentle and more tender toward me than a stranger would. And by the way, you have to understand that in this day and time, in the day and time of Genesis chapter 37, the eldest son was already favored and had the place of prominence and dominance. So why then? Are they upset with Joseph? Because evidently in his dreams, God was marking him out for an unusual vocation. Now, in order to demonstrate that Joseph was not arrogant, he was not proud, he was not boastful, he was not high-handed, I want you to consider his attitude. Look in verse 13. "And Israel said unto Joseph, 'Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send thee unto them.'"

"And he said unto him, 'Here I am.'" Now, I do not know how long the journey or how uncomfortable the weather or how difficult the terrain was. However, whatever his father desired, Joseph was willing to do. He did not whine. He did not bellyache. He did not complain. He did not try to hide himself. He said, "Here I am. I'm willing to do whatever you want me to do." It's just that simple. His attitude was, "I'm ready to obey. I'm ready to do whatever you ask, and I will do it to the best of my ability." Now, I want you to know something else.

He said in verse 13, "Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, I will send thee unto them." And he said, "Here I am." Skip down to verse 17. After he gets to Shechem, his brethren are not there, and so he finds the man, and he asks where his brethren are. And the man said, "They are departed hence, for I heard them say, 'Let us go to Dothan.'" And Joseph went after his brethren, and found them in Dothan.

So here then is another complication. Here is more trouble, here is more effort, here is more work, and yet I want you to note that Joseph is intent on obeying his father. His father had sent him to check on his brethren and to check on his flocks, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Joseph's attitude was not only one of obedience, but Joseph's attitude was one, "I will finish the job that my father has given me." He could have, after he had gotten to Shechem and they were not there, he could have turned around and gone back home and said, "Well, Dad, I'm sorry. They weren't there. I tried, but I couldn't find them. And they had left and gone somewhere." He could have done that, but he did not do that. He refused to give up. He refused to give in. He had been given a task and he was going to see it through.

Let me point out the fact, here's where most Christians and most children fail. We give up too easily. We do not finish the job. We do not finish the task that has been assigned to us. We have to learn a simple lesson: It is easier to do something right the first time, even if it requires more time, than it is to go back four or five times and redo it. Joseph said, "I'm going to do it. I'll do exactly what my father wants. It's more work. It's more effort. But that's fine. That's what he wants. That's exactly what I'm going to do." So I want you to know here is his attitude. Joseph's actions, his attitude, and his language did not indicate at all that he was seeking dominion for dominion's sake. He was simply honest and he was straightforward.

He merely told the dreams that God had given him. He relayed them. He shared them. But I want you to note, his brothers were not only willing to reject and destroy the dreams, they were also ready to reject and destroy Joseph as well. And the interesting thing is, there was no encouragement from any of the family. The only thing that we read is this. Verse 11, "And his brethren envied him, but his father observed the same."

The word "observe" means to guard, to watch, to keep, or to mark. So Jacob was not pushing. Jacob was not encouraging. Jacob was just simply waiting and watching and observing to see how things would work out. Joseph's brethren, however, were not willing to wait. They were not willing to observe. They were not willing to watch. They wanted Joseph and they wanted his dreams destroyed. That's why in verse 11 the Bible said his brothers envied him.

The Nature and Danger of Envy

Envy seeks to destroy what others have, leading to hatred and violence; it is a destructive force that ruins families.

Now the word "envy" and the word "jealous" always go together. Let me give you some scriptures. Proverbs 14, verse 30, the Bible says this: "A sound heart is life to the flesh, but envy is rottenness to the bones.

wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy?" Wrath is cruel, anger is outrageous, but notice this question: who is able to stand before envy? It was envy that delivered Joseph to the pit. It was envy that sold Joseph into slavery. It was envy that delivered Christ up to Pilate. It was envy that led the Jews to persecute the apostles. And Titus 3, verse 3, tells us that it is envy that motivates us to be hateful and to hate one another. Here's the problem with envy. Envy does not want what someone else possesses. Envy just simply wants what someone else possesses destroyed. That way, neither the one who possesses it, nor the one who is envious, or anyone else can have it.

They just simply want it destroyed. That's why a lot of times men kill their wives. Wives kill their husbands. Boyfriend kills girlfriend. Girlfriend kills boyfriend. Why? Because they're envious, and their attitude is this: "If I can't have her, no one will." That's envy. That's why God asks, "Who can stand before envy?" Mark this down, children, no matter their age—I don't care if you're 60, I don't care if you're 40, I don't care if you're 20, I don't care if you're 10—no matter their age, no matter their profession, when they're filled with envy and jealousy, it is dishonoring to their parents and it destroys not only the lives of the siblings, but it also destroys the life of the one who's filled with envy and jealousy as well.

And I will point out, it will destroy the entire family. You've got to understand that one sin always leads to another sin. And when it does, then sins begin to flow together. So how do we not treat our parents? We do not treat them with envy and hatred. We do not treat them with envy and hatred among the siblings. We do not treat them when we're trying to deny or denigrate or destroy some vocation or some calling that God has upon it. We ought to be thankful that God places a call upon our brothers. We ought to be thankful that God would elevate one of them and use them for His honor and His glory. But here's the main point I want to make today. We dishonor our parents through deliberate deception. I want you to look, beginning there, verse 20.

The brothers saw Joseph coming, and they said, "Come now, therefore, and let us slay him and cast him into some pit, and we will say some evil beast hath devoured him. And we shall see what will become of his dreams." Deception is a lie. Yet deception is more than a lie. It is a distortion of reality and it is a deliberate attempt to make our parents think and believe something totally opposite than reality or that which is really the state of things. Joseph's brethren stole his coat, ripped it into shreds, and dipped it in the blood. They knew exactly what their father would think. They knew that their father would think and perceive that Joseph was killed by a wild animal.

Deliberate Deception as Dishonor

The brothers' premeditated deception of Jacob—faking Joseph's death—caused their father prolonged agony and is a severe form of dishonor.

And I will point out, it will destroy the entire family. You've got to understand that one sin always leads to another sin. And when it does, then sins begin to flow together. So how do we not treat our parents? We do not treat them with envy and hatred. We do not treat them with envy and hatred among the siblings. We do not treat them when we're trying to deny or denigrate or destroy some vocation or some calling that God has upon it. We ought to be thankful that God places a call upon our brothers. We ought to be thankful that God would elevate one of them and use them for His honor and His glory. But here's the main point I want to make today. We dishonor our parents through deliberate deception. I want you to look, beginning there, verse 20.

The brothers saw Joseph coming, and they said, "Come now, therefore, and let us slay him and cast him into some pit, and we will say some evil beast hath devoured him. And we shall see what will become of his dreams." Deception is a lie. Yet deception is more than a lie. It is a distortion of reality and it is a deliberate attempt to make our parents think and believe something totally opposite than reality or that which is really the state of things. Joseph's brethren stole his coat, ripped it into shreds, and dipped it in the blood. They knew exactly what their father would think. They knew that their father would think and perceive that Joseph was killed by a wild animal.

Now, I want you to look at how cold, how premeditated their plan of deception was in verse 20. "Come now, therefore, let us slay him and cast him into some pit. Lord, no one will ever find him. And we will say"—this is our deception—"we will say some evil beast hath devoured him, and we shall see what will become of his dreams." Now, to show you their plans, skip on down to verse 23. "And it came to pass when Joseph was coming to his brethren, that they stripped Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colors that was on him, and they took him and cast him into a pit, and the pit was empty where there was no water." So they actually put their plan into working. They're going to work this plan out. Skip down, if you would, to verses 31 and 32. "And they took Joseph's coat and killed a kid of the goats and dipped the coat in the blood. And they sent the coat of many colors and they brought it to their father and said, 'This have we found, know now whether it be thy son's coat or no.'"

"And he knew it and said, 'It is my son's coat. An evil beast hath devoured him. Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.'" I want you to know their deception worked exactly as they had planned. I want to show you some assumptions that Jacob made. Jacob assumed that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild animal. Jacob assumed that he had loving, obedient children. Jacob assumed that his sons would never hurt their brother. Jacob assumed that the death and death appearance of Joseph could not possibly have been at the hands of his sons. Jacob could not and would not ever entertain such a thought. We might possibly understand the envy and jealousy of the brothers, and we might possibly understand how they could hate Joseph because of their perception of his dreams and because of his promotion to administrator of the estate by their father. But the question remains, how could they hate their father so to perpetrate such a deception upon him? By the way, I want you to know Jacob's response and the evidence that convinced him that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild beast.

Look in verse 34. "And Jacob rent his clothes and put sackcloth upon his loins and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, 'For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning.' Thus his father wept for him." Now, I want you to know Jacob put on sackcloth and ashes. He mourned, the Scripture says, many days for his son. When all of his sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, he refused to be comforted and he said, "I'll go down to the grave mourning for my son." Thus the father wept for him.

The Duration and Depth of Jacob's Suffering

Jacob mourned for 22 years, and his sons witnessed his grief without repenting, showing the hardness of their hearts.

"And he knew it and said, 'It is my son's coat. An evil beast hath devoured him. Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.'" I want you to know their deception worked exactly as they had planned. I want to show you some assumptions that Jacob made. Jacob assumed that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild animal. Jacob assumed that he had loving, obedient children. Jacob assumed that his sons would never hurt their brother. Jacob assumed that the death and death appearance of Joseph could not possibly have been at the hands of his sons. Jacob could not and would not ever entertain such a thought. We might possibly understand the envy and jealousy of the brothers, and we might possibly understand how they could hate Joseph because of their perception of his dreams and because of his promotion to administrator of the estate by their father. But the question remains, how could they hate their father so to perpetrate such a deception upon him? By the way, I want you to know Jacob's response and the evidence that convinced him that Joseph had been destroyed by a wild beast.

Look in verse 34. "And Jacob rent his clothes and put sackcloth upon his loins and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, 'For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning.' Thus his father wept for him." Now, I want you to know Jacob put on sackcloth and ashes. He mourned, the Scripture says, many days for his son. When all of his sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, he refused to be comforted and he said, "I'll go down to the grave mourning for my son." Thus the father wept for him.

Now the question must be asked, how could those who knew the truth bear to see their father mourn and suffer and agonize over a lost and dead child when they knew the child was not dead? How could they put their father through such agony? How could they bear to watch their father from day to day as he sorrowed over his son? It is absolutely beyond my comprehension to see how any child or children could deliberately perpetrate such a hoax and deception upon their father and mother and then watch them agonize day after day. Incidentally, in verse 34, Jacob said that he would mourn for his son many days. And Jacob also said in verse 35, "I'll go down into the grave unto my son mourning." Thus his father wept for him. So Jacob's mourning was neither light nor temporary. And these sons had to watch their father suffer and agonize over a son whom he genuinely believed was dead, but they knew who was alive.

Now I want you to listen carefully. I want you to watch. Go back to Genesis 37 and verse 2. "These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph being how old? 17 years old." OK. Now turn in your Bibles to Genesis 41 and look at verse 46. Genesis 41, verse 46. "And Joseph..."

"...was 30 years old when he stood before Pharaoh, king of Egypt." 13 years it passed. Well, now, wait a minute. You remember how God got Jacob and his sons down in Egypt? You remember the dream that he gave to Pharaoh? There were going to be seven years of famine—I mean, seven years of plenty and then seven years of famine. During the seven years of plenty, Joseph was laying up. Everybody had plenty. Then came the seven years of famine. So you have to add to these 13 years another seven for the seven years of fullness. That's 20 years. And another two years, when it took them to run out of food, to get down into Egypt.

And if you would look in Genesis 45, verse 6, you will read this. Genesis 45, verse 6, Joseph is speaking to his brothers, and he said,

So, let's put this together. Thirteen and seven and two, which means this: for a minimum of 22 years, these sons deceived their father. And for 22 years, they made their father believe that Joseph was dead.

Now, folks, I'll be honest with you. It is exceedingly difficult for me to believe that in 22 years there was no repentance, there was no remorse, there was no change of heart. How could you keep such a secret from your father for 22 years? How could you watch him agonize and suffer for 22 years? And by the way, he did so. If you don't believe that, look back in Genesis 44. Go back to Genesis 44, because don't you remember, when Benjamin finally came down into Egypt, then Joseph was going to keep Benjamin, his younger brother, to ensure that these brothers were not spies. Of course, Joseph knew who they were. But look in Genesis chapter 44, beginning there with verse 32, and here's what Judah said. Look carefully now. Genesis 44, verse 32, he said—in fact, let's go back to verse 31. In fact, let's read verse 30.

He says, "Now, therefore, when I come to thy servant, my father, and the lad be not with us, seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life, it shall come to pass when he sees that the lad is not with us, that he will die. And thy servant shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave. For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, 'If I bring him not unto thee, then shall I bear the blame to my father forever.' Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brethren. For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? Lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come upon my father." How did he know how his father would react?

Because he'd already seen how he reacted when he thought Joseph was dead. And for 22 years, they had seen the evil.

Deception as Cursing Parents

Deception is a form of cursing parents, as defined by Scripture; it treats them as worthless and violates the fifth commandment.

And I will go further. Deception involves cursing your parents. Let me say that again. Deception involves cursing your parents. And before I explain this, may I point out the fact that you may curse your parents and never use a slang word and never use a curse word. I want you to turn in your Bibles very quickly to the book of Exodus, chapter 21. I want to show you several verses, Exodus 21.

And let's begin reading there with verse 17. Exodus 21, verse 17. Look what God says, Exodus 21, verse 17, God says,

Hmm. Look in the book of Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20 and verse 9. Leviticus 20, verse 9. What does God say?

Now turn right over to the book of Proverbs, chapter 20, and look at verse 20. Proverbs 20, verse 20. Proverbs 20, verse 20. Look what God says. Proverbs 20, verse 20.

That is, he'll die. Then if you look in Proverbs 30 and verse 11. Proverbs 30 and verse 11. And God says, "There is a generation that curseth their father and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that curseth their father and doth not bless their mother."

There is another passage that says, "He that curseth his father and mother, the ravens shall pick out his eyes." He'll die. Now, I want you to understand something. The Hebrew word for "curse" means to treat as a light thing, to despise, to use contempt, to dishonor, to treat as despicable, to treat as of little account or worth, or to treat as valueless or worthless. By the way, deception does all of these.

Now, I want you to turn in your Bibles to Matthew 15 and Mark 7 because our Lord makes an application of all of these verses. Look in Matthew chapter 15. And then go ahead and turn to Mark 7. Matthew 15 and Mark 7. I want you to look at what our Lord says, Matthew 15, beginning there with verse 1. "The Pharisees also, with the Sadducees, came in tempting, desired him that he would show them a..." Oh, that was in 16:15, I'm sorry.

Honor thy father and thy mother." And

But you say,

Thus have you made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.'"

Now, whole Matthew 15, but look in Mark chapter 7, if you would please, at verse 10. It's exactly the same thing. I'm just reading verse 10 right now. Because our Lord says, "For Moses said, 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' and 'Whoso curseth his father and mother, let him die the death.'" Verse 11, "But you say, 'If a man shall say unto his father and mother, "It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me," he shall be free, and you suffer him no more to do aught for his father or his mother.'" "...making the word of God of none effect through your tradition which you have delivered, and many such like things you do." Now notice what our Lord is talking about in Matthew 15 and in Mark 7. He uses the word "curse." Here the Greek word is kakalogeo, which means to curse, to speak evil of, to abuse and revile. Now if you look in Matthew 15, verse 4, our Lord says, "For God commanded..." Isn't that interesting? Now, if you'll look in Mark 7, verse 10, "For Moses said..." Well, who was it that said it? God or Moses? Obviously, both of them. It was God who spoke through Moses. And Moses penned the word of God. And so when you go back to Matthew 15, verse 4, "For God commanded, 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' and 'He that curseth father and mother, let him die the death.'" How do you curse your father and your mother? You curse them, of course, by abusing them, speaking evil against them, dishonoring them. That is true, but we're talking about deception.

Now, I want you to look in Matthew 15, verse 5. "But you say, 'Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, "It is a gift, that whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me," and honor not his father or his mother, he shall be free.' Thus have you made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."

The Duty to Care for Aging Parents

Honoring parents includes providing for them in old age; failure to do so is a denial of the faith and makes one worse than an infidel.

Now, here's what the Pharisees have done. The Pharisees said it is more important for a man to dedicate his property and his money to God than it would be to relieve the needs of his elderly parents. It did not matter how poor his parents were. It did not matter how elderly they were. It did not matter how hungry they were. It did not matter how desperately in need of medical attention they were. If a son just simply said "Corban" over his property, over his money, then that money was dedicated to God.

And that's what our Lord said, "Thus you shall be free." In other words, the Pharisees said you're free. What are they free from? Free from helping their parents. Free from alleviating the needs of their parents. By the way, you remember I talked about the eldest son. And you remember the eldest son always got a double portion of the inheritance. Do you know why? Because it was the eldest son's responsibility, his duty, and his privilege to take care of his parents when they were old and they could not take care of themselves. He got a double portion just for that. And so the Pharisees are saying here, all you've got to do is say "Corban," it's a gift to God. And who would expect you to take that which is dedicated to God and use it for such a mundane thing as feeding your elderly parents?

Or buying medicine for them? I mean, come on. This is God's money. You can't use God's money. What did our Lord say? God said you're cursing your parents. When God said "honor thy father and thy mother." I want you to turn in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5. 1 Timothy chapter 5. And look, if you would please, at verse 4. 1 Timothy 5, verse 4. Look what God says. 1 Timothy 5, verse 4: "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and to requite their parents, for that is good and acceptable before God." "But if any widow have children or nephews"—so we've got the immediate family and we have the extended family—"but if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and requite their parents, for that is good and acceptable before God." Now, first, I want you to note the word "piety." The word "piety" is another word for godliness or holiness. So he says, let the children learn to show godliness at home.

Well, how do you show godliness at home? He said, "and requite their parents." Secondly, I want you to note the word "requite." It literally means to pay back. How can children pay back their parents? Well, I want you to think about this. Your parents took care of you when you could not take care of yourself. They fed you when you could not feed yourself. They clothed you when you could not clothe yourself. They doctored you when you could not doctor yourself.

They provided for your education. They provided for your medical attention. They provided everything for you. And now God says that you are an adult, and your parents are elderly, and they cannot take care of themselves. You need to requite them. Pay them back. And He said, this is good and acceptable before God.

Now skip down to verse 8. I want you to see what he says. "But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel." What? So God says if we don't take care of our own, we're denying the faith. And we are worse than an infidel. A violation of God's law, especially a violation of the fifth commandment, he says, is a denial of the faith and makes one worse than an infidel.

Now, I want you to think back on the text that we chose, Genesis 37. What did Jacob's sons do to their father? They cursed him for 22 years. For they failed to provide the comfort and the solace and the knowledge that he needed to be reunited with Joseph. For 22 years, they withheld the need of their father. They allowed him to suffer mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually when they had the ability to free him from his suffering.

Applications and Conclusion

We must honor imperfect parents, repent now, and remember that we reap what we sow; our children will treat us as we treat our parents.

Their hatred, their envy, and their deception was a violation of God's law. How not to treat your parents. Let me make some applications. The first one is this. God's law, of course, demands that we love and honor our parents, and I realize our parents are not perfect. Our parents are sinful. Some of us have unsaved parents. I understand that. There are no perfect parents. But the truth of the matter is this: they're still our parents. And God still requires us to honor them and obey them while we can.

What did our Lord say in John 5, verse 23? Let me quote it. "That all men should honor the Son even as they honor the Father." Now listen carefully. "He that honoreth not the Son honoreth not the Father who sent him." So God then has sovereignly provided our parents. I know that many of us have parents that have gone on. I understand that. But God has sovereignly provided our parents. And when we refuse our parents, we're also refusing Him who gave us our parents. Did you know, actually, this is the way it should be. The parents should always be a prophet, priest, and king to their children. They should be a prophet to declare to them the word of God, a priest to intercede for them, and a king to rule over them biblically. Do our parents fail in those areas? Many times. But they're still our parents. And I realize this: that God still calls upon us to honor them and not curse them.

The second application is this. If you will not love and honor and obey your parents now, if you will not do for them now while you're young, what makes you think you're going to take care of them when you're old? I mean, if you're in the habit of cursing your parents, what makes you think all of a sudden you're going to change and start honoring them? Do you realize that now is the time to love them? Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to communicate with them. Now is the time to work out differences. Now is the time to forgive. Now is the time because one of these days our parents will not be around. It's time now. God says "honor."

"Honor your father and your mother. He that curseth father and mother, let him die the death." Here's the last one. You have to remember God's law teaches that we reap what we sow. Our children will ultimately treat us the way we treat our parents. And if I want my children to love me and honor me and help me, I need to love and honor and help my parents. Because you do reap exactly what you sow. Just stop and think. There is a proper way to treat your parents biblically. And there is a way not to treat your parents. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we bow to Thee. We thank You for Your love, for Your Word, for Your truth.

We ask that You speak to our hearts. Help us, convict us, build us up in the most holy faith. Make us God-honoring, holy. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen. This program was produced by Dominion Ministry. For more information about Pastor Weaver's sermons, you may contact Dominion Ministry by mail at 7400 Abercorn, that's A-B-E-R-C-O-R-N, Street, Suite 705, P-M-B 175, Savannah, Georgia, 31406.

Or give us a call at 912-... You can also visit our website at www.dominionministry.com.