The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife

Creating A Life Giving Home

Transcript: AI Transcript

Professor: John Weaver

Subject: Family Government

Genre: Sermon

Dictation Name:

Date: 2025-08-07

Synopsis: John Weaver teaches that a truly life-giving home is not one that generates life on its own, but one where God's ordained order of headship and submission is honored. Using 1 Corinthians 11:3 as the foundational text, he explains that God has established a chain of authority: God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman. When husbands lovingly lead in submission to Christ and wives willingly submit to their husbands, the home reflects God's design and becomes a place where life is prized, blessings abound, and children learn godliness. Reversing or rejecting these roles brings death and disorder to the home.

[John Weaver] Well, it's a joy to be here and good to see everyone here. Good gracious alive and all these young people up front. I'm so thankful they're here. You know, I could not help but smile because Kathy Nelson didn't know what she said that brought back memories to me. But we were eating and she and Brother Jim were across from me and she was messing with her chicken.

[John Weaver] She said, you just need to pick this up with your fingers. I said, it's perfectly lawful and legitimate to pick up chicken with your fingers. So some of you may remember Congressman Larry McDonnell. He was supposedly shot down in the Korean jetliner 007. You remember that years ago? Well, Congressman McDonnell was down in Florida speaking, and it was one of these dinner engagements. And after everybody finished eating, they served chicken, by the way, after everybody finished eating, he got up to speak.

[John Weaver] And he said, I can tell which of you people are from the north and which are from the south. He said, I can tell by the way you eat your chicken. Northerners use forks and knives. Southerners use their fingers. He said, you want to know why Southerners use their fingers? Because you Yankees stole our silverware. And you think I'm joking when I say that, but that's not true. Benjamin Butler, Beast Butler, had another nickname, Spoons Butler, because he stole silverware.

[John Weaver] He was the Yankee military general over Louisiana. And so it was interesting, that is for sure. But it's certainly glad to be here and glad to see each one of you again. I want you to open your Bibles, if you would, to First Corinthians, Chapter 11. We're going to read one verse. We're going to be dealing with that verse shortly, but there's going to be an introduction.

[John Weaver] So Brother Tim called me and asked me to speak. And I said, sure. And he assigned me two titles, two subjects. The one tonight that he assigned was creating a life, creating a life, giving a home. Hmm. I thought about that, and I thought about 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. Look at it. But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. So first, let me just say the title of this message, creating a life giving home, is deceiving. And the reason I'm saying it is deceiving is because only God can give life. God is the one who is the giver of physical life, mental life, emotional life, financial life, spiritual life. All life stems from Him, and there is no life apart from God, that is for sure. But at the same time, I also realize that it is possible to have a home where life is prized, celebrated, and sought. We must remember the passage in Jeremiah chapter 29 in verse 13, when God said, And you shall seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.

[John Weaver] So a life-giving home then, based upon Jeremiah 29 verse 13, is one that seeks the Lord, searches for Him in every aspect of life, and searches for Him with all of their heart. In other words, a life-giving home, or a home where life is prized, is certainly one, then, is where God is honored, obeyed, and worshiped in the biblical manner. So, I want you to turn in your Bibles.

[John Weaver] We're coming back to 1 Corinthians 11. But I want you to turn in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Look in chapter 2 and verse 18. Because very obviously, Rahab had a very life-giving home. So you'll notice what is said in the book of Joshua, chapter 2 and verse 18. Behold, when we come into the land, thou shalt bind this line of scarlet thread in the window which thou didst let us down by. And thou shalt bring thy father, and thy mother, and thy brethren, and all thy father's household home unto thee. So this crimson or scarlet color of the cord was the color then of life, vigorous life I might add, and it was an expressive sign then also of the preservation of Rahab's life and that of her family. I want you to note, however, her testimony. I want you to begin reading with me there following in verse 9. Look what she says.

[John Weaver] And she said unto the men, I know that the Lord has given you the land and that your terror is fallen upon us. and that all the inhabitants of the land faint because of you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side, Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you utterly destroyed. And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt.

[John Weaver] Neither did there remain any more courage in any man because of you. For the Lord your God He is God in heaven above and in earth beneath.

[John Weaver] Now, therefore, I pray you swear to me by the Lord, since I've showed you kindness, that you will also show kindness into my father's house and give me a true token. And that you shall save alive my father, and my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death. And the men answered her, Our life are yours. If you would or not this our business, it shall be when the Lord hath given us this land, then we will deal kindly and truly with thee. Then she let them down by a court through the window, for her house was upon the town wall."

[John Weaver] I want you to note, if you would, this absolute confession of rehab. She isn't only confessing the fact that God is the one true, the living God, she's also confessing His providence. She's also confessing His position, His power, and of course, His absolute sovereignty. She said, Your God is God. And of course, that was a life-giving home. Here is what John Gill said about this incident. He said, Rahab was an instance of the salvation of sinners by the grace of God, for she was a sinner by birth, by practice, and a notorious one. She was an instance of distinguishing grace, of free and efficacious grace, a singular instance of it, and became a true repentant and a true believer, and was a justified person and saved.

[John Weaver] So the scarlet thread was an emblem of the blood of Christ by which salvation is, redemption and all the blessings of grace are through it, justification and remission of sins, reconciliation and atonement, and safety and protection from avenging justice and wrath to come." And so certainly there was a home where life was preserved, and sought after, and prized, that is for sure.

[John Weaver] Now, if you will turn very quickly in your Bibles to 1 Kings chapter 13, here's another home where death was very prominent and prevalent. And this is the home of the old prophet in 1 Kings chapter 13. And it was a death-giving home. He lied to the prophet of God and told him that God told him to seek this prophet and ask him to turn around and come and eat bread and drink water in his home. And, of course, God had told him not to do that. So if you look in 1 Kings 13, verse 11, Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel, and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel, the words which he had spoken to the king, that is Jeroboam, and them they also told their father. And the father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. Then he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass.

[John Weaver] So they saddled him the ass, and he rode thereon. And he went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak. And he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am. Then he said, Come home with me, and eat bread. And he said, I may not return with thee, nor go in with thee, neither will I eat bread, nor drink water with thee in this place. For it was said to me by the word of the Lord, Thou shalt eat no bread, nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way that thou camest. And he said unto him, I am a prophet also, as thou art. And an angel spake unto me by the word of the Lord, saying, Bring him back with thee into thine house, that he may eat bread and drink water.

[John Weaver] But he lied unto him. So he went back with him, and did eat the bread in his house, and drank the water. And it came to pass, as he sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came unto the prophet that brought him back. And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the Lord, forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the Lord, and hast not kept the commandment which the Lord thy God commanded thee, but camest back, and hast eaten bread, and drunk water in this place, of the which the Lord did say unto thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water, Thy carcass shall not come unto the sepulcher of thy fathers. Then it came to pass, after he had eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass to wit for the prophet whom he had brought back.

[John Weaver] And when he was gone, a lion met him by the way and slew him, and his carcass was cast in the way. And the ass stood by it, and the lion also stood by the carcass." So I want you to note something here. There are several lessons to be learned from 1 Kings chapter 13. The first one is this. Just simply because someone says that he is a prophet or a preacher or a professor of faith does not mean that that individual has an absolutely right and godly motive. I don't know what the motive was for this old prophet, but it certainly was not a godly motive, that is for sure.

[John Weaver] Secondly, This passage also teaches us that we must beware and not believe the counsel of those who counsel us to go contrary to the Word of God and especially that which we know to be the Word of God. And the third application, of course, would be that we're to never, ever conduct ourselves or act in such a way that would deny that which we know to be the Word of God and that which knows to be true.

[John Weaver] Now, Remember, I told you creating a life giving home was the topic that I was assigned. Let me tell you something to think about. If the Lord allows me to live one more month, I'll be 81. OK. I have never, ever been drunk in my entire life. Never. I've never even had a beer in my entire life. But let me tell you something. I know how to get drunk.

[John Weaver] All I have to do is go to a liquor store and buy liquor and start swigging it down or go to some party where I'm tempted and the liquor is free and I engage in it. And the next thing you know, I'm going to end up drunk. Now, here's what I'm trying to tell you. We cannot create a life giving home in and of ourselves. But I can tell you how to have a home where God will be present and give life to that home. Because that is laid out for us in the word of God. So no home can give life in and of itself, but at the same time, we can put ourselves in a position to seek God and to seek his blessing and to seek his life. And to give us that which he's ordained for us in the Bible, so it is indeed possible to have a home where life is prized and sought after and honored, and we need that desperately in our day and time. So in order to answer this question, How do we create a home in which life is prized and sought after?

[John Weaver] Don't you listen carefully? I'm going to give you one point tonight, just one point. And I'm going to try. To drive this truth deep into your hearts and in my heart, it is an absolute basic truth. It is a foundational truth and is very obviously most often overlooked. There are many who will not want to hear this truth because this truth deals with headship and authority. So if you look back in your Bibles to first Corinthians, chapter 11, verse three, I told you we were coming back there. I want you to look, if you would, what the scripture says.

[John Weaver] The Apostle Paul wrote and he said this, but I would have you to know this is something you need to understand. I would have you to know. That the head of every man is Christ. And the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, let me tell you something. Men and women are equal in three ways. There is another way in which we are not equal. But here are the three ways in which men and women are equal. Number one, we're equally the creatures of God.

[John Weaver] We were created by him. Secondly, we're equally depraved. We're equally sinners. We're totally depraved, men and women, and we can do nothing pleasing to God in and of ourselves and in our flesh. The third way that we're equal is that we may equally be redeemed by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. We may be saved by Him. However, There is a position which in which men and women are positionally different. We may be equal in those three ways, but there is a positional difference, so I want you to notice verse three again, he said, I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, the word head occurs three times in that verse.

[John Weaver] It happens to be the Greek word kathalae, and it literally means supreme, chief, and prominent. So, he is saying basically in verse 3 that the head of every man is Christ, or the chief or the superior of every man is Christ, and the chief or the superior of every woman is man, and the chief and superior of Christ, in this sense of the word, is God. I want you to note something. This passage talks about the supremacy and the headship of God the Father, the supremacy and headship of God the Son, and the supremacy and headship of the man which God has created. Now, Jesus Christ is God. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh. He is God co-equal, co-eternal, and co-glorious. But Jesus Christ, willingly and voluntarily, took upon Himself the seed of Abraham, and was made in the likeness of men, and became the servant of the Father.

[John Weaver] Read, if you would, the Gospels. He says, I came to do that which the Father sent me to do. Over and over he'd say, the Father sent me. So since Jesus Christ came then to be the servant of the Father, He could accurately say in John chapter 14 and verse 28, My Father is greater than I. Because positionally, He voluntarily became the servant of the Father. But because He is God in the flesh, He could also say accurately in John 10 and verse 30, I and my Father are one. And do you remember that passage in John chapter 5, verses 22 through 24? The Bible says, For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment to the Son. Why? That all men should honor the Son Even as they honor the father, he did honor not the son, honor not the father. When you see those two little words, even as that all men should honor the son, even as that would mean equally as they honor the father. So that means Jesus Christ is God because the father himself is God now.

[John Weaver] So three times we read the word head. Three times in this one simple verse.

[John Weaver] Now there should be an obvious implication as well. The loss of the head is the loss of life. When you lose your head, it's death. There's not a person in this room who can continue to exist if I took a machete and cut off your head. Without the head, the body is dead. So without the head, life is destroyed. Without the head, there is nothing but death.

[John Weaver] So here's what 1 Corinthians 11 is all about. It is all about God's orderly way. It is about the way that God has ordained, and He has ordained that He is the head over His Son, whom He sent to be His servant. And His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, is the head of every man, and the head of every woman is the man. So it's God, Christ, man, woman. That is God's order that He's laid out right here.

[John Weaver] Listen carefully, ladies, you may not want to hear this, but hang on, I'm going to get to the men shortly, too. But you may not want to hear this, but this is the absolute truth. God has never ordained a woman to lead. Think about this, Eve tried to lead in the Garden of Eden. And we have the fall, God designed the woman to follow. I want you to look in your Bibles to Genesis chapter 3 and look in verse 16. Hang on. Genesis 3 verse 16. Now, I'm not talking about women teaching women. I'm not talking about women teaching children. I'm talking about women teaching men or trying to rule over the man. Look what the Bible says. Genesis 3 and verse 16. Here's what God said to the woman. And under the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply by sorrow and thy conception and sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. Now, look at this, and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee. Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.

[John Weaver] Now, in the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament, the word desire there is the word curiae. It is used two times in the New Testament. So if you want to know what this means, when he said in Genesis 3 and verse 16, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, I'll show you. So if you will turn in your Bibles, first of all, to Romans chapter 6 and look at verse 9. Romans chapter 6 and verse 9, because here you have the same exact Greek word. Romans 6 and verse 9. But this time, this same word is preceded by a negative. Look at it. Romans chapter 6, verse 9. He says much more than Romans 6, verse 9.

[John Weaver] He says, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead died no more, death hath no more dominion over him. Death hath no more dominion over him. It's the same word for desire. In other words, it is the word means power or rule over or to have dominion over. So no longer does death have power over Jesus Christ. Of course, in the same passage, no longer does death have dominion over man. That is the saved man, because Jesus Christ has destroyed death, and Jesus Christ is Lord. So, he says, death no longer has dominion over Christ. And then look at it, he says, in verse 11, Likewise reckon ye yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

[John Weaver] Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lust thereof. Why should sin not reign in your mortal body? Because sin is not your Lord if you've been saved. Jesus Christ is your Lord. The dominion of sin has been broken. It has been broken through the Lord Jesus Christ. Then if you look in Romans 7 in verse 1, you'll see the second time this word is used. Know ye not, brethren, for I speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion, that is, jurisdiction, rule, power over a man as long as he liveth.

[John Weaver] So when God said, to Eve, and thy desire shall be to thy husband. What he was saying was the husband is going to have jurisdiction. He's going to have dominion. He's going to have rule. He's going to have power over you.

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to see how this truth is exemplified. So I want you to turn, if you would, to first Peter, chapter three, first Peter, chapter three. And notice, if you would please be getting there with verse one, first Peter three and verse one. And there's two words that I'm going to be dealing with particularly. So look at this. First, Peter, chapter three, verse one, he says, likewise, you wives.

[John Weaver] Being subjection to your own husbands. That have been you obey not the word, they may also without the word be one house by the conversation or the conduct of the wives. while they, that is the husbands, behold your chaste conduct, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or wearing of gold or putting on apparel.

[John Weaver] Now, he's not saying don't look neat, ladies. What he's saying is don't count on the external. He said, here's what you count on. Verse four. But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and not are afraid with any amazement." Now, I want to deal first of all with the word subjection in verse 1. It's important that we understand this word.

[John Weaver] Actually, the Greek word is hupotasso, and it literally is made up of two words, hupo, which means a preposition, which means under, and tasso means to place or to put under or to throw under. So it literally means to be put under someone's control or to be put under someone's power or someone's dominion. The word actually came into the Greek, from the Greek military, which meant to arrange the troops in a military fashion where you had officers over certain troops. In other words, the troops were under these officers. When you do not use it in a military term, it just simply means that the attitude of voluntarily submitting voluntarily placing yourself and assuming responsibility under.

[John Weaver] And I want you to note something the Bible said in 1 Peter chapter 3. He said, even that which is of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. If you don't hear anything else tonight, hear this. Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion. I saw a cartoon years ago.

[John Weaver] The child was standing up in the seat. And the mother kept telling the child to sit down while she was driving. And the child refused to sit down. Finally, the mother reached over and took her hand and jerked the child down and made the child sit down. She folded her arms. And she looked at her mama and said, I may be sitting down on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside. That's rebellion. That's not subjection, that's not submission. If submission is not willing and voluntary, it is not submission.

[John Weaver] Now, the Bible said, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. The Greek word for Lord is the word Kyrios. That word is used not only in reference to a husband, it's used in reference to a prince, and it's even used in reference to the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ. The word Lord means boss, owner, master, sovereign. That's what it means. Even as Sarah then obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, master, ruler. Boss, that's what the word means.

[John Weaver] Now, if you look in the book of Ephesians chapter five, hang on and I want you to hold this passage because we're going to come back there. But I want you to look in Ephesians chapter five and notice if you would please, verse thirty three. Ephesians five in verse thirty three. Hang on, Ephesians five, verse thirty three, look what the word of God says. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular talking about the husbands, so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence. Her husband. Now, the word reverence is a very interesting word.

[John Weaver] The verb is phobeo, which means I fear, and the noun happens to be phobos. It is where we get our English word phobia, claustrophobia, arachnophobia, and it means a fear. But used in this context, Ephesians 5, verse 33. It means to fear, to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference and to treat with reverential awe and obedience. Wow. And the wife see that she reverence the husband.

[John Weaver] Now, turn in your Bibles, if you would, to the book of Titus, chapter two. Look in Titus, chapter two. I want to tie all this together. And please sit with me, ladies, because the men are coming up. But look in Titus chapter 2. Notice, if you would please, verse 5. He tells us about the wives, verse 5, there to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, look at this next word, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Now, the word obedient is exactly the same Greek word that you find in first Peter chapter three. Being subjection to your husbands is exactly the same word. Now, notice if you would, verse five again, he said to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. So when there is no obedience, where there is no subjection, Biblical obedience and biblical subjection, the word of God is blasphemed. Now, since you're in Titus, if you will turn back in your Bibles just a few pages to first to first Timothy, chapter two, first Timothy, chapter two, and look, if you would, please.

[John Weaver] Beginning there, verse nine, it's astounding to me how many times the Bible says this. First Timothy 2 verse 9, In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broidered hair, gold or pearls, or costly array, but which becometh women professing godliness with good works. Then he says, Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Here's why. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. There's the creation order. Then here's the second reason. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Hmm. Not only is there a creation order here, but it was the woman who was deceived. Now, since the Bible tells you very plainly, the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

[John Weaver] Why then Do you read in Romans 5, verse 12, Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. The Bible just told us that Eve was the first one to sin, because she took and then she gave her husband. Why then did death come through Adam? Because Adam was her head and Adam was the federal head and representative of each of us.

[John Weaver] So what he did, we did. And when he sinned, we sinned, but the sin came through him and not particularly her, although she did sin. But it was with Adam. With whom God had made the covenant, and so consequently, death came by him now. Hang on, I want you to listen carefully. No one escaped submission. No one. In fact, if you will turn back just a few more pages to Colossians chapter one, look if you would please beginning there with verse 16. And I want you to pay attention to two words, all things. Look at this. Colossians 1 verse 16, talking about Jesus Christ, verse 15 says, who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature, for by him were all things created that are in heaven, that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions or principalities or powers, all things were created by him, look at this, and for him. And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning of the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence."

[John Weaver] Now, Jesus Christ is specifically stated to be the head of everyone. So, gentlemen, let me ask you a question. If you expect your wife to be in submission to you, should she not equally expect you to be in submission to Jesus Christ? If you are her head, Jesus Christ is your head. Now, the Bible does not tell us specifically a statement that says, Husband, submit yourselves to Jesus Christ. But the Bible does tell us in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, that the head of the man is Christ. And the Bible just told us in Colossians chapter 1 that he is the head of all things. So. If you'll look in your Bibles, please, to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Hang on with me. Galatians, Ephesians. Look in Ephesians chapter 5. And let's begin reading there with verse 25. Ephesians 5, verse 25. The Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Why?

[John Weaver] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Sought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church."

[John Weaver] Now, I want you to hold Ephesians 5. Because I'm going to ask you some questions just a moment. But before I do, I want you to turn in your Bibles to First Corinthians, Chapter 14, First Corinthians, Chapter 14. And let's begin reading there with verse 34. First Corinthians, Chapter 14. And look in verse 34. Look at what the scripture says. Let your women keep silence in the churches.

[John Weaver] For it is not permitted unto them to speak, but their commandment to be under obedience is also set the law." That's the Old Testament. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for women to speak in the church. So, gentlemen, listen up. If you are to love your wife the way Jesus Christ loved the church, Do you know how Jesus Christ loved the church? It was a special love, that is for sure. It was a sacrificial love. It was an exclusive love. He loved his church, he didn't love a harlot. He loved his church. God expects you, gentlemen, to love your wives specially.

[John Weaver] Sacrificially and exclusively the question. Based upon First Corinthians, Chapter 14. The Bible said that the woman wants to know anything, if the wife wants to know anything, let her ask her husband at home. Hmm. So my question is this, has your wife become more knowledgeable And the things of God and in the word of God. Because she's married to you.

[John Weaver] Now, let me tell you something, man. I usually jokingly when I am involved in a question and answer session, I tell people up front, I can answer any question that you ask. As long as you understand that I don't know is the answer. But let me tell you something, when it comes to your wife asking you a question. Then that is your duty, your obligation and your responsibility to find that answer for her. That's what the Bible said, if she wants to know anything, let her ask her husband.

[John Weaver] You may not have a Ph.D. in theology. But that doesn't matter. You know how to do research. You know how to read your Bible. You know how to ask your pastor. You know how to ask an elder. You know that you are responsible to answer your wife. When you don't have a biblical relationship. In positions. It hinders your prayers. That's what he said in first Peter three and verse seven.

[John Weaver] Likewise, you husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Listen now, giving honor to the wife. As being the weaker vessel. That your prayers be not hindered. Now, when God says giving honor to the wife is the weaker vessel, that does not mean that you are The strong one. No, you are weak as well. She's just weaker. But God said when you don't have this proper relationship, it hinders your prayer.

[John Weaver] So here's what I'm trying to tell you. God has sovereignly designed the role of the husband and the role of the wife. Your pastors preach this. You know that the husband is to be a picture of Jesus Christ. And you know that the wife, in her submission to her husband, is to be a picture of the church's submission to Jesus Christ. You know that. That is simple. But here's what we don't understand.

[John Weaver] When these roles are reversed, when these roles are confused, when these roles are conflated, then instead of you having life in the home, you end up having death in the home. Because you've gotten out of God's orderly way. If you will go back in your Bibles with me, please, to the book of Deuteronomy chapter 30. Deuteronomy chapter 30. And let's begin reading there with verse 19. Deuteronomy chapter 30. Look, if you would, at verse 19 and we'll read verse 20. Look what God says.

[John Weaver] I call heaven and earth to record this day against you. that I have set before you life and death, blessings and cursings. Therefore, choose life that both thou and thy seed may live. That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, that thou mayest obey his voice, that thou mayest cleave unto him, for he is thy life and the length of thy days, that thou mayest dwell in the land where the Lord swears unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob to give them." He said choose life rather than death. A life giving home. A life Where everyone in the home prizes life and loves life and wants life is a life where the husband and wife are living in obedience to the role that God has sovereignly ordained for each one of them. And therefore, their children are seeing this loving relationship. Let me tell you something, a loving husband and a submissive wife will produce children that know their proper roles as well. I know families, I know families that have grown children and some on the way up to growth and to maturity.

[John Weaver] And those children are the most loving, the most kind, the most helpful, You know why they're like that? Because your parents are like that. Where in the world do you think your children learn the most from? From you. Let me tell you something. Your children know when you're a hypocrite and when you're not. If I stood up here tonight and I said, I'm going to be teaching from thou shalt not commit adultery.

[John Weaver] And every one of you out there thought or thought you knew that here, Brother Weaver, is why he's had five affairs I have not. But would you listen to me teach on thou shalt not commit adultery when you think I've already had five affairs? Would you listen to me? I don't care what you teach your children. I don't care how correct it is biblically, how correct it is doctrinally.

[John Weaver] If they see you not living it, They know what is reality. If you look in your Bibles, 1st Timothy, chapter five, verse four, I could quote it, but 1st Timothy five, verse four. The word of God says this, but if any wedda, if any wedda have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and requite their parents for this, for this is good and acceptable for God. Now, if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home. What's piety? Godliness. Let them learn first to show Godliness at home and requite their parents. What does the word requite mean?

[John Weaver] It means to pay back. It means to pay back. In other words, children that have been taught biblical role models in one sense of the word, will always pay back their parents by acting biblically and godly as well. But this verse also means that children are to help not only their immediate family, but their extended family as well. You got aunts and uncles that need help, help them as well.

[John Weaver] Where do you learn to do that? From your home. I had an uncle whose wife died. My wife and I took care of him for several years. Until my daughter and her husband and her family moved him over to their place. And then they took care of him until he died. I took care of my mother after my father died. I took care of my mother-in-law after my father-in-law died. Where do children learn this from their parents?

[John Weaver] Now, let me tell you something, headship requires responsibility, duty, obligation and work. So, gentlemen, here's my question. Who's responsible for the education of your children? Not the state. Not the government. Not wicked, unsaved men and women. Who's responsible for the education of your children? According to the word of God, it's the father. The head of the home. That doesn't mean that the mother cannot help. But it does mean the father has a responsibility. To make sure that education is biblical and right and done in a manner that's honoring unto God, that's why God said in Deuteronomy chapter four, those those things which I command thee this day, what did he say? You do them and your children and your children's children.

[John Weaver] And everybody in this room knows Ephesians 6 and verse 4. And you fathers, bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Who is to bring them up? The fathers. It's the father's responsibility to make sure that the children are educated, not just doctrinally, but ethically, morally, practically. Where are they going to learn this? By watching Mama and Daddy. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is Zechariah 1, verse 4.

[John Weaver] I want you to listen to this. Listen to what God said to his people. Be ye not as your fathers. Unto whom the former prophets had cried, saying, Thus saith the Lord of hosts, Turn ye now from your evil ways and from your evil doings. But they did not hear nor hearken unto me, saith the Lord." What did God say? Be not as your fathers. Don't live like your fathers lived. Could God ever say that to your family, to your children? Don't live like mom and dad you live. Wow! God has ordained a role for the husband and a role for the wife.

[John Weaver] This is absolutely basic and absolutely fundamental. Gentlemen, if you want a submissive, obedient wife, you need to be the loving, obedient husband to Jesus Christ and love them the way Christ commanded you to love them. I want you to think about this. I want to make just a couple of applications. And husbands and wives, listen carefully. If you will not obey God in this, which is the most basic, the most fundamental, if you will not obey God in this is which I would call the least. Whatever makes you think that you're going to obey God in that which is great and difficult. If you cannot be faithful in that which is least, you're not going to be faithful in that which is much. If you're not willing to submit women to your husbands and husbands, if you're not willing to submit to Jesus Christ, what makes you think that your children ought to submit to you?

[John Weaver] Unhappily. Our children turn out to be just like us. If we want obedient children, if we want loving, kind and gracious children, we must be those parents to them. Loving, kind, gracious. That doesn't mean no discipline. But I got news for you. You cannot expect your children to be in submission to you if you're not in submission to God. You do reap what you sow. Young people, listen to me, young ladies, listen. You should never marry a man to whom you cannot submit. You should never marry a man.

[John Weaver] Who will not take the responsibility to be your head and your protector. I have taught. Many people, handgun, rifle, shotgun. One of the best students I ever had was a beautiful young woman. I mean, this girl could out shoot most men almost with her eyes closed. I could tell you things about her shooting that just absolutely astounds you. And she came to me one day and she looked at me and she said, Pastor, I'm just not going to marry a man that I have to protect. And she could have done it.

[John Weaver] But you know what she said? He's supposed to protect me. He is supposed to protect me. And young men, you don't have any right to marry a young woman. I don't care how beautiful she is. I don't care how gorgeous she is if she's unwilling to submit. The truth of the matter is this. Listen carefully. We have been talking about power. Jurisdiction. Authority. God ordained roles. I want you to understand a very important principle. Jurisdiction, authority. Power.

[John Weaver] Does not exist in a vacuum. God has ordained the husband to be the head of the home. If the husband is so unbiblical, so rebellious, so defiant, so unwilling to assume responsibility of headship, if he's unwilling to do that, let me tell you something. Power. Jurisdiction, authority, then shifts to the wife. And you end up with a matriarchal society. If Mama says, well, I'm not going to do it, he's not doing it, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to be the head of this house, I'm not going to have the authority, I'm not going to say this, no, no, no, it's not me. Guess what, Mama?

[John Weaver] If you don't do it, your children will. They'll run the home. And if the children won't run the home, the state will. Power does not exist in a vacuum. If we want our country back, if we want our next generation saved, it's going to have to be through the family.

[John Weaver] Now, Brother Tim said treason is usually against the family. I've got a message which I entitled The Bible and Treason, but treason is not just against the family, it is, but it's against God. And think about it like this. When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God. You're denying His sovereign authority. Because God says, this is the role that I've ordained for the man, for the woman. The head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

[John Weaver] If we want our country back, if we want our families back, if we want our next generation back, we better create homes where life is prized and sought and the blessings of God abound. And those kids can look at mama and daddy and say, that's my man. That's my mother. When you have a home where the child wants to be like daddy and wants to be like mama. Yeah. But when God has to say, be not as your fathers. What a blow. What a blow. God, give us homes in which life is prized. Give us homes, Lord, in this basic, fundamental, absolutely necessary principle.

[John Weaver] Of wives being in submission to their husbands and husbands being in submission to Jesus Christ. And husbands loving their wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. And the wife seeing that she reverence the husband. Lord, give us this relationship that's based upon Your Word, based upon Your grace, based upon Your mercy. And Father, we would give Thee the praise and the honor and glory. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen.

Creating A Life Giving Home

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	8142525196674
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2025-08-07
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 19
Source Timed Segments	73

Formatted Transcript

Opening

Well, it's a joy to be here and good to see everyone here. Good gracious alive and all these young people up front. I'm so thankful they're here. You know, I could not help but smile because Kathy Nelson didn't know what she said that brought back memories to me. But we were eating and she and Brother Jim were across from me and she was messing with her chicken. She said, you just need to pick this up with your fingers. I said, it's perfectly lawful and legitimate to pick up chicken with your fingers. So some of you may remember Congressman Larry McDonald. He was supposedly shot down in the Korean jetliner 007. You remember that years ago? Well, Congressman McDonald was down in Florida speaking, and it was one of these dinner engagements. And after everybody finished eating, they served chicken, by the way, after everybody finished eating, he got up to speak.

And he said, I can tell which of you people are from the north and which are from the south. He said, I can tell by the way you eat your chicken. Northerners use forks and knives. Southerners use their fingers. He said, you want to know why Southerners use their fingers? Because you Yankees stole our silverware. And you think I'm joking when I say that, but that's not true. Benjamin Butler, Beast Butler, had another nickname, Spoons Butler, because he stole silverware.

He was the Yankee military general over Louisiana. And so it was interesting, that is for sure. But it's certainly glad to be here and glad to see each one of you again. I want you to open your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Corinthians, chapter 11. We're going to read one verse. We're going to be dealing with that verse shortly, but there's going to be an introduction.

Introduction: The Deceptive Title

Weaver clarifies that only God gives life, but a home can be a place where life is prized by seeking God wholeheartedly, referencing Jeremiah 29:13.

So Brother Tim called me and asked me to speak. And I said, sure. And he assigned me two titles, two subjects. The one tonight that he assigned was creating a life, creating a life, giving a home. Hmm. I thought about that, and I thought about 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. Look at it. But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. So first, let me just say the title of this message, creating a life giving home, is deceiving. And the reason I'm saying it is deceiving is because only God can give life. God is the one who is the giver of physical life, mental life, emotional life, financial life, spiritual life. All life stems from Him, and there is no life apart from God, that is for sure. But at the same time, I also realize that it is possible to have a home where life is prized, celebrated, and sought. We must remember the passage in Jeremiah chapter 29 and verse 13, when God said, And you shall seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.

So a life-giving home then, based upon Jeremiah 29 verse 13, is one that seeks the Lord, searches for Him in every aspect of life, and searches for Him with all of their heart. In other words, a life-giving home, or a home where life is prized, is certainly one, then, is where God is honored, obeyed, and worshiped in the biblical manner. So, I want you to turn in your Bibles.

Biblical Examples of Life-Giving and Death-Giving Homes

Rahab's home is presented as life-giving because of her confession of God's sovereignty, while the old prophet's home in 1 Kings 13 brought death through deception and disobedience.

We're coming back to 1 Corinthians 11. But I want you to turn in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Look in chapter 2 and verse 18. Because very obviously, Rahab had a very life-giving home. So you'll notice what is said in the book of Joshua, chapter 2 and verse 18. Behold, when we come into the land, thou shalt bind this line of scarlet thread in the window which thou didst let us down by. And thou shalt bring thy father, and thy mother, and thy brethren, and all thy father's household home unto thee. So this crimson or scarlet color of the cord was the color then of life, vigorous life I might add, and it was an expressive sign then also of the preservation of Rahab's life and that of her family. I want you to note, however, her testimony. I want you to begin reading with me there following in verse 9. Look what she says.

And she said unto the men, I know that the Lord has given you the land and that your terror is fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land faint because of you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side, Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you utterly destroyed. And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt. Neither did there remain any more courage in any man because of you. For the Lord your God He is God in heaven above and in earth beneath.

Now, therefore, I pray you swear to me by the Lord, since I've showed you kindness, that you will also show kindness into my father's house and give me a true token. And that you shall save alive my father, and my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death. And the men answered her, Our life are yours. If you would or not this our business, it shall be when the Lord hath given us this land, then we will deal kindly and truly with thee. Then she let them down by a cord through the window, for her house was upon the town wall. I want you to note, if you would, this absolute confession of Rahab. She isn't only confessing the fact that God is the one true, the living God, she's also confessing His providence. She's also confessing His position, His power, and of course, His absolute sovereignty. She said, Your God is God. And of course, that was a life-giving home. Here is what John Gill said about this incident. He said, Rahab was an instance of the salvation of sinners by the grace of God, for she was a sinner by birth, by practice, and a notorious one. She was an instance of distinguishing grace, of free and efficacious grace, a singular instance of it, and became a true repentant and a true believer, and was a justified person and saved.

So the scarlet thread was an emblem of the blood of Christ by which salvation is, redemption and all the blessings of grace are through it, justification and remission of sins, reconciliation and atonement, and safety and protection from avenging justice and wrath to come. And so certainly there was a home where life was preserved, and sought after, and prized, that is for sure. Now, if you will turn very quickly in your Bibles to 1 Kings chapter 13, here's another home where death was very prominent and prevalent. And this is the home of the old prophet in 1 Kings chapter 13. And it was a death-giving home. He lied to the prophet of God and told him that God told him to seek this prophet and ask him to turn around and come and eat bread and drink water in his home. And, of course, God had told him not to do that. So if you look in 1 Kings 13, verse 11, Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel, and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel, the words which he had spoken to the king, that is Jeroboam, and them they also told their father. And the father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. Then he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass.

So they saddled him the ass, and he rode thereon. And he went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak. And he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am. Then he said, Come home with me, and eat bread. And he said, I may not return with thee, nor go in with thee, neither will I eat bread, nor drink water with thee in this place. For it was said to me by the word of the Lord, Thou shalt eat no bread, nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way that thou camest. And he said unto him, I am a prophet also, as thou art. And an angel spake unto me by the word of the Lord, saying, Bring him back with thee into thine house, that he may eat bread and drink water.

But he lied unto him. So he went back with him, and did eat the bread in his house, and drank the water. And it came to pass, as he sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came unto the prophet that brought him back. And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the Lord, forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the Lord, and hast not kept the commandment which the Lord thy God commanded thee, but camest back, and hast eaten bread, and drunk water in this place, of the which the Lord did say unto thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water, Thy carcass shall not come unto the sepulcher of thy fathers. Then it came to pass, after he had eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass to wit for the prophet whom he had brought back.

And when he was gone, a lion met him by the way and slew him, and his carcass was cast in the way. And the ass stood by it, and the lion also stood by the carcass. So I want you to note something here. There are several lessons to be learned from 1 Kings chapter 13. The first one is this. Just simply because someone says that he is a prophet or a preacher or a professor of faith does not mean that that individual has an absolutely right and godly motive. I don't know what the motive was for this old prophet, but it certainly was not a godly motive, that is for sure.

Secondly, This passage also teaches us that we must beware and not believe the counsel of those who counsel us to go contrary to the Word of God and especially that which we know to be the Word of God. And the third application, of course, would be that we're to never, ever conduct ourselves or act in such a way that would deny that which we know to be the Word of God and that which knows to be true.

The Foundational Truth: God's Order of Headship

The core of the message is 1 Corinthians 11:3, which establishes the divine hierarchy: God, Christ, man, woman. This order is essential for a life-giving home.

Don't you listen carefully? I'm going to give you one point tonight, just one point. And I'm going to try. To drive this truth deep into your hearts and in my heart, it is an absolute basic truth. It is a foundational truth and is very obviously most often overlooked. There are many who will not want to hear this truth because this truth deals with headship and authority. So if you look back in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse three, I told you we were coming back there. I want you to look, if you would, what the scripture says.

The Apostle Paul wrote and he said this, but I would have you to know this is something you need to understand. I would have you to know. That the head of every man is Christ. And the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, let me tell you something. Men and women are equal in three ways. There is another way in which we are not equal. But here are the three ways in which men and women are equal. Number one, we're equally the creatures of God.

We were created by him. Secondly, we're equally depraved. We're equally sinners. We're totally depraved, men and women, and we can do nothing pleasing to God in and of ourselves and in our flesh. The third way that we're equal is that we may equally be redeemed by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. We may be saved by Him. However, There is a position which in which men and women are positionally different. We may be equal in those three ways, but there is a positional difference, so I want you to notice verse three again, he said, I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, the word head occurs three times in that verse.

It happens to be the Greek word kephalē, and it literally means supreme, chief, and prominent. So, he is saying basically in verse 3 that the head of every man is Christ, or the chief or the superior of every man is Christ, and the chief or the superior of every woman is man, and the chief and superior of Christ, in this sense of the word, is God. I want you to note something. This passage talks about the supremacy and the headship of God the Father, the supremacy and headship of God the Son, and the supremacy and headship of the man which God has created. Now, Jesus Christ is God. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh. He is God co-equal, co-eternal, and co-glorious. But Jesus Christ, willingly and voluntarily, took upon Himself the seed of Abraham, and was made in the likeness of men, and became the servant of the Father.

Read, if you would, the Gospels. He says, I came to do that which the Father sent me to do. Over and over he'd say, the Father sent me. So since Jesus Christ came then to be the servant of the Father, He could accurately say in John chapter 14 and verse 28, My Father is greater than I. Because positionally, He voluntarily became the servant of the Father. But because He is God in the flesh, He could also say accurately in John 10 and verse 30, I and my Father are one. And do you remember that passage in John chapter 5, verses 22 through 24? The Bible says, For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment to the Son. Why? That all men should honor the Son Even as they honor the father, he did honor not the son, honor not the father. When you see those two little words, even as that all men should honor the son, even as that would mean equally as they honor the father. So that means Jesus Christ is God because the father himself is God now.

So three times we read the word head. Three times in this one simple verse. Now there should be an obvious implication as well. The loss of the head is the loss of life. When you lose your head, it's death. There's not a person in this room who can continue to exist if I took a machete and cut off your head. Without the head, the body is dead. So without the head, life is destroyed. Without the head, there is nothing but death.

So here's what 1 Corinthians 11 is all about. It is all about God's orderly way. It is about the way that God has ordained, and He has ordained that He is the head over His Son, whom He sent to be His servant. And His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, is the head of every man, and the head of every woman is the man. So it's God, Christ, man, woman. That is God's order that He's laid out right here.

The Role of the Wife: Submission and Reverence

Wives are called to voluntary, willing submission to their husbands, as taught in 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, and Titus 2. Forced or hypocritical submission is rebellion.

Listen carefully, ladies, you may not want to hear this, but hang on, I'm going to get to the men shortly, too. But you may not want to hear this, but this is the absolute truth. God has never ordained a woman to lead. Think about this, Eve tried to lead in the Garden of Eden. And we have the fall, God designed the woman to follow. I want you to look in your Bibles to Genesis chapter 3 and look in verse 16. Hang on. Genesis 3 verse 16. Now, I'm not talking about women teaching women. I'm not talking about women teaching children. I'm talking about women teaching men or trying to rule over the man. Look what the Bible says. Genesis 3 and verse 16. Here's what God said to the woman. And under the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply by sorrow and thy conception and sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. Now, look at this, and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee. Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.

Now, in the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament, the word desire there is the word kyrieia. It is used two times in the New Testament. So if you want to know what this means, when he said in Genesis 3 and verse 16, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, I'll show you. So if you will turn in your Bibles, first of all, to Romans chapter 6 and look at verse 9. Romans chapter 6 and verse 9, because here you have the same exact Greek word. Romans 6 and verse 9. But this time, this same word is preceded by a negative. Look at it. Romans chapter 6, verse 9. He says much more than Romans 6, verse 9.

He says, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead died no more, death hath no more dominion over him. Death hath no more dominion over him. It's the same word for desire. In other words, it is the word means power or rule over or to have dominion over. So no longer does death have power over Jesus Christ. Of course, in the same passage, no longer does death have dominion over man. That is the saved man, because Jesus Christ has destroyed death, and Jesus Christ is Lord. So, he says, death no longer has dominion over Christ. And then look at it, he says, in verse 11, Likewise reckon ye yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lust thereof. Why should sin not reign in your mortal body? Because sin is not your Lord if you've been saved. Jesus Christ is your Lord. The dominion of sin has been broken. It has been broken through the Lord Jesus Christ. Then if you look in Romans 7 in verse 1, you'll see the second time this word is used. Know ye not, brethren, for I speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion, that is, jurisdiction, rule, power over a man as long as he liveth.

So when God said, to Eve, and thy desire shall be to thy husband. What he was saying was the husband is going to have jurisdiction. He's going to have dominion. He's going to have rule. He's going to have power over you.

Now, I want you to see how this truth is exemplified. So I want you to turn, if you would, to 1 Peter, chapter three, 1 Peter, chapter three. And notice, if you would please be getting there with verse one, 1 Peter three and verse one. And there's two words that I'm going to be dealing with particularly. So look at this. 1 Peter, chapter three, verse one, he says, likewise, you wives. Being subjection to your own husbands. That have been you obey not the word, they may also without the word be one house by the conversation or the conduct of the wives. while they, that is the husbands, behold your chaste conduct, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or wearing of gold or putting on apparel.

Now, he's not saying don't look neat, ladies. What he's saying is don't count on the external. He said, here's what you count on. Verse four. But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and not are afraid with any amazement. Now, I want to deal first of all with the word subjection in verse 1. It's important that we understand this word.

Actually, the Greek word is hypotassō, and it literally is made up of two words, hypo, which means a preposition, which means under, and tassō means to place or to put under or to throw under. So it literally means to be put under someone's control or to be put under someone's power or someone's dominion. The word actually came into the Greek, from the Greek military, which meant to arrange the troops in a military fashion where you had officers over certain troops. In other words, the troops were under these officers. When you do not use it in a military term, it just simply means that the attitude of voluntarily submitting voluntarily placing yourself and assuming responsibility under. And I want you to note something the Bible said in 1 Peter chapter 3. He said, even that which is of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. If you don't hear anything else tonight, hear this. Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion. I saw a cartoon years ago.

The child was standing up in the seat. And the mother kept telling the child to sit down while she was driving. And the child refused to sit down. Finally, the mother reached over and took her hand and jerked the child down and made the child sit down. She folded her arms. And she looked at her mama and said, I may be sitting down on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside. That's rebellion. That's not subjection, that's not submission. If submission is not willing and voluntary, it is not submission.

Now, the Bible said, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. The Greek word for Lord is the word Kyrios. That word is used not only in reference to a husband, it's used in reference to a prince, and it's even used in reference to the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ. The word Lord means boss, owner, master, sovereign. That's what it means. Even as Sarah then obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, master, ruler. Boss, that's what the word means.

Now, if you look in the book of Ephesians chapter five, hang on and I want you to hold this passage because we're going to come back there. But I want you to look in Ephesians chapter five and notice if you would please, verse thirty three. Ephesians five in verse thirty three. Hang on, Ephesians five, verse thirty three, look what the word of God says. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular talking about the husbands, so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence. Her husband. Now, the word reverence is a very interesting word.

The verb is phobeō, which means I fear, and the noun happens to be phobos. It is where we get our English word phobia, claustrophobia, arachnophobia, and it means a fear. But used in this context, Ephesians 5, verse 33. It means to fear, to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference and to treat with reverential awe and obedience. Wow. And the wife see that she reverence the husband.

Now, turn in your Bibles, if you would, to the book of Titus, chapter two. Look in Titus, chapter two. I want to tie all this together. And please sit with me, ladies, because the men are coming up. But look in Titus chapter 2. Notice, if you would please, verse 5. He tells us about the wives, verse 5, there to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, look at this next word, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Now, the word obedient is exactly the same Greek word that you find in 1 Peter chapter three. Being subjection to your husbands is exactly the same word. Now, notice if you would, verse five again, he said to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. So when there is no obedience, where there is no subjection, Biblical obedience and biblical subjection, the word of God is blasphemed. Now, since you're in Titus, if you will turn back in your Bibles just a few pages to 1 Timothy, chapter two, 1 Timothy, chapter two, and look, if you would, please.

The Role of the Husband: Loving Leadership and Responsibility

Husbands must submit to Christ and love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. They bear responsibility for the spiritual education and well-being of the family.

Beginning there, verse nine, it's astounding to me how many times the Bible says this. 1 Timothy 2 verse 9, In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broidered hair, gold or pearls, or costly array, but which becometh women professing godliness with good works. Then he says, Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Here's why. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. There's the creation order. Then here's the second reason. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Hmm. Not only is there a creation order here, but it was the woman who was deceived. Now, since the Bible tells you very plainly, the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

Why then Do you read in Romans 5, verse 12, Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. The Bible just told us that Eve was the first one to sin, because she took and then she gave her husband. Why then did death come through Adam? Because Adam was her head and Adam was the federal head and representative of each of us.

So what he did, we did. And when he sinned, we sinned, but the sin came through him and not particularly her, although she did sin. But it was with Adam. With whom God had made the covenant, and so consequently, death came by him now. Hang on, I want you to listen carefully. No one escaped submission. No one. In fact, if you will turn back just a few more pages to Colossians chapter one, look if you would please beginning there with verse 16. And I want you to pay attention to two words, all things. Look at this. Colossians 1 verse 16, talking about Jesus Christ, verse 15 says, who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature, for by him were all things created that are in heaven, that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions or principalities or powers, all things were created by him, look at this, and for him. And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning of the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence.

Now, Jesus Christ is specifically stated to be the head of everyone. So, gentlemen, let me ask you a question. If you expect your wife to be in submission to you, should she not equally expect you to be in submission to Jesus Christ? If you are her head, Jesus Christ is your head. Now, the Bible does not tell us specifically a statement that says, Husband, submit yourselves to Jesus Christ. But the Bible does tell us in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, that the head of the man is Christ. And the Bible just told us in Colossians chapter 1 that he is the head of all things. So. If you'll look in your Bibles, please, to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Hang on with me. Galatians, Ephesians. Look in Ephesians chapter 5. And let's begin reading there with verse 25. Ephesians 5, verse 25. The Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Why?

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Sought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.

Now, I want you to hold Ephesians 5. Because I'm going to ask you some questions just a moment. But before I do, I want you to turn in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14, 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. And let's begin reading there with verse 34. 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. And look in verse 34. Look at what the scripture says. Let your women keep silence in the churches.

For it is not permitted unto them to speak, but their commandment to be under obedience is also set the law. That's the Old Testament. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for women to speak in the church. So, gentlemen, listen up. If you are to love your wife the way Jesus Christ loved the church, Do you know how Jesus Christ loved the church? It was a special love, that is for sure. It was a sacrificial love. It was an exclusive love. He loved his church, he didn't love a harlot. He loved his church. God expects you, gentlemen, to love your wives specially.

Sacrificially and exclusively the question. Based upon 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. The Bible said that the woman wants to know anything, if the wife wants to know anything, let her ask her husband at home. Hmm. So my question is this, has your wife become more knowledgeable And the things of God and in the word of God. Because she's married to you.

Now, let me tell you something, man. I usually jokingly when I am involved in a question and answer session, I tell people up front, I can answer any question that you ask. As long as you understand that I don't know is the answer. But let me tell you something, when it comes to your wife asking you a question. Then that is your duty, your obligation and your responsibility to find that answer for her. That's what the Bible said, if she wants to know anything, let her ask her husband. You may not have a Ph.D. in theology. But that doesn't matter. You know how to do research. You know how to read your Bible. You know how to ask your pastor. You know how to ask an elder. You know that you are responsible to answer your wife. When you don't have a biblical relationship. In positions. It hinders your prayers. That's what he said in 1 Peter three and verse seven.

Likewise, you husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Listen now, giving honor to the wife. As being the weaker vessel. That your prayers be not hindered. Now, when God says giving honor to the wife is the weaker vessel, that does not mean that you are The strong one. No, you are weak as well. She's just weaker. But God said when you don't have this proper relationship, it hinders your prayer.

So here's what I'm trying to tell you. God has sovereignly designed the role of the husband and the role of the wife. Your pastors preach this. You know that the husband is to be a picture of Jesus Christ. And you know that the wife, in her submission to her husband, is to be a picture of the church's submission to Jesus Christ. You know that. That is simple. But here's what we don't understand.

When these roles are reversed, when these roles are confused, when these roles are conflated, then instead of you having life in the home, you end up having death in the home. Because you've gotten out of God's orderly way. If you will go back in your Bibles with me, please, to the book of Deuteronomy chapter 30. Deuteronomy chapter 30. And let's begin reading there with verse 19. Deuteronomy chapter 30. Look, if you would, at verse 19 and we'll read verse 20. Look what God says.

Consequences of Rejecting God's Order

When biblical roles are reversed or abandoned, death enters the home. Children learn hypocrisy, and authority shifts to the wife, children, or the state.

I call heaven and earth to record this day against you. that I have set before you life and death, blessings and cursings. Therefore, choose life that both thou and thy seed may live. That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, that thou mayest obey his voice, that thou mayest cleave unto him, for he is thy life and the length of thy days, that thou mayest dwell in the land where the Lord swears unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob to give them. He said choose life rather than death. A life giving home. A life Where everyone in the home prizes life and loves life and wants life is a life where the husband and wife are living in obedience to the role that God has sovereignly ordained for each one of them. And therefore, their children are seeing this loving relationship. Let me tell you something, a loving husband and a submissive wife will produce children that know their proper roles as well. I know families, I know families that have grown children and some on the way up to growth and to maturity.

And those children are the most loving, the most kind, the most helpful, You know why they're like that? Because your parents are like that. Where in the world do you think your children learn the most from? From you. Let me tell you something. Your children know when you're a hypocrite and when you're not. If I stood up here tonight and I said, I'm going to be teaching from thou shalt not commit adultery.

And every one of you out there thought or thought you knew that here, Brother Weaver, is why he's had five affairs I have not. But would you listen to me teach on thou shalt not commit adultery when you think I've already had five affairs? Would you listen to me? I don't care what you teach your children. I don't care how correct it is biblically, how correct it is doctrinally. If they see you not living it, They know what is reality. If you look in your Bibles, 1 Timothy, chapter five, verse four, I could quote it, but 1 Timothy five, verse four. The word of God says this, but if any wedda, if any wedda have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and requite their parents for this, for this is good and acceptable for God. Now, if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home. What's piety? Godliness. Let them learn first to show Godliness at home and requite their parents. What does the word requite mean?

It means to pay back. It means to pay back. In other words, children that have been taught biblical role models in one sense of the word, will always pay back their parents by acting biblically and godly as well. But this verse also means that children are to help not only their immediate family, but their extended family as well. You got aunts and uncles that need help, help them as well. Where do you learn to do that? From your home. I had an uncle whose wife died. My wife and I took care of him for several years. Until my daughter and her husband and her family moved him over to their place. And then they took care of him until he died. I took care of my mother after my father died. I took care of my mother-in-law after my father-in-law died. Where do children learn this from their parents?

Now, let me tell you something, headship requires responsibility, duty, obligation and work. So, gentlemen, here's my question. Who's responsible for the education of your children? Not the state. Not the government. Not wicked, unsaved men and women. Who's responsible for the education of your children? According to the word of God, it's the father. The head of the home. That doesn't mean that the mother cannot help. But it does mean the father has a responsibility. To make sure that education is biblical and right and done in a manner that's honoring unto God, that's why God said in Deuteronomy chapter four, those those things which I command thee this day, what did he say? You do them and your children and your children's children.

And everybody in this room knows Ephesians 6 and verse 4. And you fathers, bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Who is to bring them up? The fathers. It's the father's responsibility to make sure that the children are educated, not just doctrinally, but ethically, morally, practically. Where are they going to learn this? By watching Mama and Daddy. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is Zechariah 1, verse 4.

I want you to listen to this. Listen to what God said to his people. Be ye not as your fathers. Unto whom the former prophets had cried, saying, Thus saith the Lord of hosts, Turn ye now from your evil ways and from your evil doings. But they did not hear nor hearken unto me, saith the Lord. What did God say? Be not as your fathers. Don't live like your fathers lived. Could God ever say that to your family, to your children? Don't live like mom and dad you live. Wow! God has ordained a role for the husband and a role for the wife.

This is absolutely basic and absolutely fundamental. Gentlemen, if you want a submissive, obedient wife, you need to be the loving, obedient husband to Jesus Christ and love them the way Christ commanded you to love them. I want you to think about this. I want to make just a couple of applications. And husbands and wives, listen carefully. If you will not obey God in this, which is the most basic, the most fundamental, if you will not obey God in this is which I would call the least. Whatever makes you think that you're going to obey God in that which is great and difficult. If you cannot be faithful in that which is least, you're not going to be faithful in that which is much. If you're not willing to submit women to your husbands and husbands, if you're not willing to submit to Jesus Christ, what makes you think that your children ought to submit to you?

Unhappily. Our children turn out to be just like us. If we want obedient children, if we want loving, kind and gracious children, we must be those parents to them. Loving, kind, gracious. That doesn't mean no discipline. But I got news for you. You cannot expect your children to be in submission to you if you're not in submission to God. You do reap what you sow. Young people, listen to me, young ladies, listen. You should never marry a man to whom you cannot submit. You should never marry a man.

Who will not take the responsibility to be your head and your protector. I have taught. Many people, handgun, rifle, shotgun. One of the best students I ever had was a beautiful young woman. I mean, this girl could out shoot most men almost with her eyes closed. I could tell you things about her shooting that just absolutely astounds you. And she came to me one day and she looked at me and she said, Pastor, I'm just not going to marry a man that I have to protect. And she could have done it.

But you know what she said? He's supposed to protect me. He is supposed to protect me. And young men, you don't have any right to marry a young woman. I don't care how beautiful she is. I don't care how gorgeous she is if she's unwilling to submit. The truth of the matter is this. Listen carefully. We have been talking about power. Jurisdiction. Authority. God ordained roles. I want you to understand a very important principle. Jurisdiction, authority. Power.

Does not exist in a vacuum. God has ordained the husband to be the head of the home. If the husband is so unbiblical, so rebellious, so defiant, so unwilling to assume responsibility of headship, if he's unwilling to do that, let me tell you something. Power. Jurisdiction, authority, then shifts to the wife. And you end up with a matriarchal society. If Mama says, well, I'm not going to do it, he's not doing it, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to be the head of this house, I'm not going to have the authority, I'm not going to say this, no, no, no, it's not me. Guess what, Mama?

If you don't do it, your children will. They'll run the home. And if the children won't run the home, the state will. Power does not exist in a vacuum. If we want our country back, if we want our next generation saved, it's going to have to be through the family.

Applications and Exhortations

Weaver urges young people to marry only those they can biblically submit to or lead, and calls all to obey God in these fundamental roles, as faithfulness in small things leads to faithfulness in greater things.

Now, Brother Tim said treason is usually against the family. I've got a message which I entitled The Bible and Treason, but treason is not just against the family, it is, but it's against God. And think about it like this. When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God. You're denying His sovereign authority. Because God says, this is the role that I've ordained for the man, for the woman. The head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

If we want our country back, if we want our families back, if we want our next generation back, we better create homes where life is prized and sought and the blessings of God abound. And those kids can look at mama and daddy and say, that's my man. That's my mother. When you have a home where the child wants to be like daddy and wants to be like mama. Yeah. But when God has to say, be not as your fathers. What a blow. What a blow. God, give us homes in which life is prized. Give us homes, Lord, in this basic, fundamental, absolutely necessary principle.

Study Guide

Major Themes

God as the Sole Giver of Life

Summary: Only God can give physical, spiritual, and emotional life; a home cannot create life but can seek God's life through obedience.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'only God can give life. God is the one who is the giver of physical life, mental life, emotional life, financial life, spiritual life.'

Divine Order of Headship

Summary: God has established a chain of authority: God over Christ, Christ over man, and man over woman, as stated in 1 Corinthians 11:3.

Evidence: Weaver explains, 'the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.'

Wifely Submission

Summary: Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands willingly and reverently, as the church submits to Christ.

Evidence: Weaver cites 1 Peter 3:1-6 and Ephesians 5:33, emphasizing that submission must be voluntary, not forced.

Husbandly Leadership and Love

Summary: Husbands must love their wives sacrificially and take responsibility for the spiritual direction of the home.

Evidence: Weaver references Ephesians 5:25-29 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, asking if wives have become more knowledgeable in God's Word because of their husbands.

Consequences of Role Reversal

Summary: Rejecting God's ordained roles leads to death in the home, hypocrisy, and a shift of authority to children or the state.

Evidence: Weaver warns, 'when these roles are reversed... you end up having death in the home' and 'power does not exist in a vacuum.'

Parental Example and Legacy

Summary: Children learn godliness or hypocrisy by observing their parents; a life-giving home produces children who honor God.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'your children know when you're a hypocrite and when you're not' and references Zechariah 1:4, 'Be ye not as your fathers.'

Key Arguments

A life-giving home is defined by seeking God, not by self-generated life.

Summary: Weaver argues that the title is deceptive because only God gives life; a home can only position itself to receive life by seeking God wholeheartedly.

Evidence: He says, 'only God can give life... But at the same time, I also realize that it is possible to have a home where life is prized, celebrated, and sought.'

God's order of headship is foundational and non-negotiable.

Summary: The chain of authority in 1 Corinthians 11:3 is presented as an absolute truth that must be obeyed for a home to experience life.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'This passage talks about the supremacy and the headship of God the Father, the supremacy and headship of God the Son, and the supremacy and headship of the man.'

Submission must be voluntary to be genuine.

Summary: Forced or hypocritical submission is actually rebellion; true submission is a willing, meek, and quiet spirit.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion.'

Husbands are accountable for the spiritual growth of their wives and children.

Summary: Based on 1 Corinthians 14:35, husbands must be able to answer their wives' spiritual questions and lead in education.

Evidence: Weaver asks, 'has your wife become more knowledgeable in the things of God and in the word of God because she's married to you?'

Rejecting biblical roles is treason against God.

Summary: Disobeying God's ordained roles is not just harmful to the family but is a direct rebellion against God's sovereign authority.

Evidence: Weaver concludes, 'When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God.'

Scripture References

1 Corinthians 11:3

Context: The foundational verse for the message, establishing the divine order of headship: God, Christ, man, woman.

Jeremiah 29:13

Context: Used to define a life-giving home as one that seeks God with all the heart.

Joshua 2:18

Context: Rahab's scarlet thread as a sign of life preservation for her household.

Joshua 2:9-14

Context: Rahab's confession of God's sovereignty and her plea for her family's salvation.

1 Kings 13:11-24

Context: The old prophet's death-giving home, illustrating the danger of disobeying God's word.

Genesis 3:16

Context: God's declaration that the husband shall rule over the wife, establishing male headship after the fall.

Romans 6:9

Context: The Greek word for 'dominion' is the same as 'desire' in Genesis 3:16, indicating rule or authority.

Romans 7:1

Context: Another use of the same Greek word for 'dominion,' reinforcing the meaning of authority.

1 Peter 3:1-6

Context: Wives are to be in subjection to their husbands, with Sarah as an example of obedience.

Ephesians 5:33

Context: Wives are to reverence their husbands, using a word meaning to fear or venerate.

Titus 2:5

Context: Wives are to be obedient to their husbands so that God's word is not blasphemed.

1 Timothy 2:9-14

Context: Women are not to teach or usurp authority over men, based on creation order and Eve's deception.

Romans 5:12

Context: Sin entered through Adam as federal head, even though Eve sinned first.

Colossians 1:16-18

Context: Christ is the head of all creation and the church, emphasizing his preeminence.

Ephesians 5:25-29

Context: Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and exclusively.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Context: Women are to keep silent in churches and ask their husbands at home if they have questions.

1 Peter 3:7

Context: Husbands are to honor their wives as the weaker vessel so that prayers are not hindered.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Context: God sets before his people life and death, blessing and cursing, urging them to choose life.

1 Timothy 5:4

Context: Children are to learn piety at home and requite their parents, showing godliness in the family.

Zechariah 1:4

Context: God warns not to be like disobedient fathers, highlighting the negative legacy of ungodly parents.

Historical References

Congressman Larry McDonald

Context: Mentioned in an anecdote about eating chicken with fingers; he was a U.S. Congressman who died on Korean Air Lines Flight 007.

Benjamin 'Beast' Butler

Context: Union general during the Civil War, nicknamed 'Spoons Butler' for allegedly stealing silverware, referenced in a humorous story about Northerners vs. Southerners.

John Gill

Context: 18th-century Baptist theologian, quoted on Rahab as an instance of salvation by grace.

Important Quotes

Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion.

Significance: Clarifies that biblical submission must be voluntary and from the heart, not merely external compliance.

When these roles are reversed, when these roles are confused, when these roles are conflated, then instead of you having life in the home, you end up having death in the home.

Significance: Summarizes the central warning that abandoning God's order brings destruction to the family.

When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God.

Significance: Elevates the issue from a family matter to a direct offense against God's sovereign authority.

If you cannot be faithful in that which is least, you're not going to be faithful in that which is much.

Significance: Applies the principle that obedience in basic roles is a prerequisite for greater faithfulness.

Discussion Questions

How does the concept that 'only God can give life' change our approach to building a godly home?

Context: Weaver emphasizes that a home cannot create life but can seek God's life through obedience.

In what practical ways can a husband demonstrate loving, sacrificial leadership like Christ's love for the church?

Context: Based on Ephesians 5:25-29, husbands are called to love their wives exclusively and sacrificially.

What does voluntary, joyful submission look like in a marriage, and how does it differ from forced compliance?

Context: Weaver stresses that submission must be willing, not hypocritical or reluctant.

How can a husband fulfill his responsibility to be the spiritual leader and teacher in the home, especially if he feels inadequate?

Context: Weaver asks if wives have become more knowledgeable in God's Word because of their husbands, referencing 1 Corinthians 14:35.

What are some signs that a home has shifted from God's order to a matriarchal or child-ruled dynamic?

Context: Weaver warns that when the husband abdicates, authority shifts to the wife, children, or state.

How can parents ensure their children see genuine faith and not hypocrisy in the home?

Context: Weaver notes that children know when parents are hypocrites and that they learn piety at home.

Applications

Seek God wholeheartedly as a family

Summary: A life-giving home is one that actively seeks the Lord in every aspect of life, as taught in Jeremiah 29:13.

Evidence: Weaver says, 'a life-giving home... is one that seeks the Lord, searches for Him in every aspect of life, and searches for Him with all of their heart.'

Wives, submit willingly to your husbands

Summary: Wives are called to voluntary, reverent submission as a picture of the church's submission to Christ.

Evidence: Weaver explains that submission must be 'the attitude of voluntarily submitting, voluntarily placing yourself and assuming responsibility under.'

Husbands, love your wives sacrificially and lead spiritually

Summary: Husbands must love as Christ loved the church and take responsibility for the spiritual growth of their wives and children.

Evidence: Weaver asks, 'has your wife become more knowledgeable in the things of God and in the word of God because she's married to you?'

Maintain God's order to avoid death in the home

Summary: Reversing or confusing biblical roles brings death and disorder; obedience brings life and blessing.

Evidence: Weaver warns, 'when these roles are reversed... you end up having death in the home.'

Young people, marry only those you can biblically submit to or lead

Summary: Young women should not marry a man they cannot submit to, and young men should not marry a woman unwilling to submit.

Evidence: Weaver advises, 'You should never marry a man to whom you cannot submit.'

Parents, model godliness for your children

Summary: Children learn piety and proper roles by observing their parents; hypocrisy undermines teaching.

Evidence: Weaver states, 'your children know when you're a hypocrite and when you're not.'

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | clean_readable_transcript | 2026-06-05T16:21:03Z

deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T07:00:01Z

Clean Transcript

Creating A Life Giving Home

Clean readable transcript. This view follows the Commentary.net cleaned segment text while preserving timestamps for audio follow-along.

Well, it's a joy to be here and good to see everyone here. Good gracious alive and all these young people up front. I'm so thankful they're here. You know, I could not help but smile because Kathy Nelson didn't know what she said that brought back memories to me. But we were eating and she and Brother Jim were across from me and she was messing with her chicken.
#1 | 0:03 to 0:28 | cleaned
She said, you just need to pick this up with your fingers. I said, it's perfectly lawful and legitimate to pick up chicken with your fingers. So some of you may remember Congressman Larry McDonald. He was supposedly shot down in the Korean jetliner 007. You remember that years ago? Well, Congressman McDonald was down in Florida speaking, and it was one of these dinner engagements. And after everybody finished eating, they served chicken, by the way, after everybody finished eating, he got up to speak.
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And he said, I can tell which of you people are from the north and which are from the south. He said, I can tell by the way you eat your chicken. Northerners use forks and knives. Southerners use their fingers. He said, you want to know why Southerners use their fingers? Because you Yankees stole our silverware. And you think I'm joking when I say that, but that's not true. Benjamin Butler, Beast Butler, had another nickname, Spoons Butler, because he stole silverware.
#3 | 1:06 to 1:48 | cleaned
He was the Yankee military general over Louisiana. And so it was interesting, that is for sure. But it's certainly glad to be here and glad to see each one of you again. I want you to open your Bibles, if you would, to 1 Corinthians, chapter 11. We're going to read one verse. We're going to be dealing with that verse shortly, but there's going to be an introduction.
#4 | 1:48 to 2:08 | cleaned
So Brother Tim called me and asked me to speak. And I said, sure. And he assigned me two titles, two subjects. The one tonight that he assigned was creating a life, creating a life, giving a home. Hmm. I thought about that, and I thought about 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. Look at it. But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. So first, let me just say the title of this message, creating a life giving home, is deceiving. And the reason I'm saying it is deceiving is because only God can give life. God is the one who is the giver of physical life, mental life, emotional life, financial life, spiritual life. All life stems from Him, and there is no life apart from God, that is for sure. But at the same time, I also realize that it is possible to have a home where life is prized, celebrated, and sought. We must remember the passage in Jeremiah chapter 29 and verse 13, when God said, And you shall seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.
#5 | 2:08 to 3:33 | cleaned
So a life-giving home then, based upon Jeremiah 29 verse 13, is one that seeks the Lord, searches for Him in every aspect of life, and searches for Him with all of their heart. In other words, a life-giving home, or a home where life is prized, is certainly one, then, is where God is honored, obeyed, and worshiped in the biblical manner. So, I want you to turn in your Bibles.
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We're coming back to 1 Corinthians 11. But I want you to turn in your Bibles to the book of Joshua. Look in chapter 2 and verse 18. Because very obviously, Rahab had a very life-giving home. So you'll notice what is said in the book of Joshua, chapter 2 and verse 18. Behold, when we come into the land, thou shalt bind this line of scarlet thread in the window which thou didst let us down by. And thou shalt bring thy father, and thy mother, and thy brethren, and all thy father's household home unto thee. So this crimson or scarlet color of the cord was the color then of life, vigorous life I might add, and it was an expressive sign then also of the preservation of Rahab's life and that of her family. I want you to note, however, her testimony. I want you to begin reading with me there following in verse 9. Look what she says.
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And she said unto the men, I know that the Lord has given you the land and that your terror is fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land faint because of you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side, Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you utterly destroyed. And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt.
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Neither did there remain any more courage in any man because of you. For the Lord your God He is God in heaven above and in earth beneath.
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Now, therefore, I pray you swear to me by the Lord, since I've showed you kindness, that you will also show kindness into my father's house and give me a true token. And that you shall save alive my father, and my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death. And the men answered her, Our life are yours. If you would or not this our business, it shall be when the Lord hath given us this land, then we will deal kindly and truly with thee. Then she let them down by a cord through the window, for her house was upon the town wall.
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I want you to note, if you would, this absolute confession of Rahab. She isn't only confessing the fact that God is the one true, the living God, she's also confessing His providence. She's also confessing His position, His power, and of course, His absolute sovereignty. She said, Your God is God. And of course, that was a life-giving home. Here is what John Gill said about this incident. He said, Rahab was an instance of the salvation of sinners by the grace of God, for she was a sinner by birth, by practice, and a notorious one. She was an instance of distinguishing grace, of free and efficacious grace, a singular instance of it, and became a true repentant and a true believer, and was a justified person and saved.
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So the scarlet thread was an emblem of the blood of Christ by which salvation is, redemption and all the blessings of grace are through it, justification and remission of sins, reconciliation and atonement, and safety and protection from avenging justice and wrath to come. And so certainly there was a home where life was preserved, and sought after, and prized, that is for sure.
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Now, if you will turn very quickly in your Bibles to 1 Kings chapter 13, here's another home where death was very prominent and prevalent. And this is the home of the old prophet in 1 Kings chapter 13. And it was a death-giving home. He lied to the prophet of God and told him that God told him to seek this prophet and ask him to turn around and come and eat bread and drink water in his home. And, of course, God had told him not to do that. So if you look in 1 Kings 13, verse 11, Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel, and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel, the words which he had spoken to the king, that is Jeroboam, and them they also told their father. And the father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. Then he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass.
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So they saddled him the ass, and he rode thereon. And he went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak. And he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am. Then he said, Come home with me, and eat bread. And he said, I may not return with thee, nor go in with thee, neither will I eat bread, nor drink water with thee in this place. For it was said to me by the word of the Lord, Thou shalt eat no bread, nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way that thou camest. And he said unto him, I am a prophet also, as thou art. And an angel spake unto me by the word of the Lord, saying, Bring him back with thee into thine house, that he may eat bread and drink water.
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But he lied unto him. So he went back with him, and did eat the bread in his house, and drank the water. And it came to pass, as he sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came unto the prophet that brought him back. And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the Lord, forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the Lord, and hast not kept the commandment which the Lord thy God commanded thee, but camest back, and hast eaten bread, and drunk water in this place, of the which the Lord did say unto thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water, Thy carcass shall not come unto the sepulcher of thy fathers. Then it came to pass, after he had eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass to wit for the prophet whom he had brought back.
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And when he was gone, a lion met him by the way and slew him, and his carcass was cast in the way. And the ass stood by it, and the lion also stood by the carcass. So I want you to note something here. There are several lessons to be learned from 1 Kings chapter 13. The first one is this. Just simply because someone says that he is a prophet or a preacher or a professor of faith does not mean that that individual has an absolutely right and godly motive. I don't know what the motive was for this old prophet, but it certainly was not a godly motive, that is for sure.
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Secondly, This passage also teaches us that we must beware and not believe the counsel of those who counsel us to go contrary to the Word of God and especially that which we know to be the Word of God. And the third application, of course, would be that we're to never, ever conduct ourselves or act in such a way that would deny that which we know to be the Word of God and that which knows to be true.
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Now, Remember, I told you creating a life giving home was the topic that I was assigned. Let me tell you something to think about. If the Lord allows me to live one more month, I'll be 81. OK. I have never, ever been drunk in my entire life. Never. I've never even had a beer in my entire life. But let me tell you something. I know how to get drunk.
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All I have to do is go to a liquor store and buy liquor and start swigging it down or go to some party where I'm tempted and the liquor is free and I engage in it. And the next thing you know, I'm going to end up drunk. Now, here's what I'm trying to tell you. We cannot create a life giving home in and of ourselves. But I can tell you how to have a home where God will be present and give life to that home. Because that is laid out for us in the word of God. So no home can give life in and of itself, but at the same time, we can put ourselves in a position to seek God and to seek his blessing and to seek his life. And to give us that which he's ordained for us in the Bible, so it is indeed possible to have a home where life is prized and sought after and honored, and we need that desperately in our day and time. So in order to answer this question, How do we create a home in which life is prized and sought after?
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Don't you listen carefully? I'm going to give you one point tonight, just one point. And I'm going to try. To drive this truth deep into your hearts and in my heart, it is an absolute basic truth. It is a foundational truth and is very obviously most often overlooked. There are many who will not want to hear this truth because this truth deals with headship and authority. So if you look back in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse three, I told you we were coming back there. I want you to look, if you would, what the scripture says.
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The Apostle Paul wrote and he said this, but I would have you to know this is something you need to understand. I would have you to know. That the head of every man is Christ. And the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, let me tell you something. Men and women are equal in three ways. There is another way in which we are not equal. But here are the three ways in which men and women are equal. Number one, we're equally the creatures of God.
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We were created by him. Secondly, we're equally depraved. We're equally sinners. We're totally depraved, men and women, and we can do nothing pleasing to God in and of ourselves and in our flesh. The third way that we're equal is that we may equally be redeemed by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. We may be saved by Him. However, There is a position which in which men and women are positionally different. We may be equal in those three ways, but there is a positional difference, so I want you to notice verse three again, he said, I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now, the word head occurs three times in that verse.
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It happens to be the Greek word kephalē, and it literally means supreme, chief, and prominent. So, he is saying basically in verse 3 that the head of every man is Christ, or the chief or the superior of every man is Christ, and the chief or the superior of every woman is man, and the chief and superior of Christ, in this sense of the word, is God. I want you to note something. This passage talks about the supremacy and the headship of God the Father, the supremacy and headship of God the Son, and the supremacy and headship of the man which God has created. Now, Jesus Christ is God. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh. He is God co-equal, co-eternal, and co-glorious. But Jesus Christ, willingly and voluntarily, took upon Himself the seed of Abraham, and was made in the likeness of men, and became the servant of the Father.
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Read, if you would, the Gospels. He says, I came to do that which the Father sent me to do. Over and over he'd say, the Father sent me. So since Jesus Christ came then to be the servant of the Father, He could accurately say in John chapter 14 and verse 28, My Father is greater than I. Because positionally, He voluntarily became the servant of the Father. But because He is God in the flesh, He could also say accurately in John 10 and verse 30, I and my Father are one. And do you remember that passage in John chapter 5, verses 22 through 24? The Bible says, For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment to the Son. Why? That all men should honor the Son Even as they honor the father, he did honor not the son, honor not the father. When you see those two little words, even as that all men should honor the son, even as that would mean equally as they honor the father. So that means Jesus Christ is God because the father himself is God now.
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So three times we read the word head. Three times in this one simple verse.
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Now there should be an obvious implication as well. The loss of the head is the loss of life. When you lose your head, it's death. There's not a person in this room who can continue to exist if I took a machete and cut off your head. Without the head, the body is dead. So without the head, life is destroyed. Without the head, there is nothing but death.
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So here's what 1 Corinthians 11 is all about. It is all about God's orderly way. It is about the way that God has ordained, and He has ordained that He is the head over His Son, whom He sent to be His servant. And His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, is the head of every man, and the head of every woman is the man. So it's God, Christ, man, woman. That is God's order that He's laid out right here.
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Listen carefully, ladies, you may not want to hear this, but hang on, I'm going to get to the men shortly, too. But you may not want to hear this, but this is the absolute truth. God has never ordained a woman to lead. Think about this, Eve tried to lead in the Garden of Eden. And we have the fall, God designed the woman to follow. I want you to look in your Bibles to Genesis chapter 3 and look in verse 16. Hang on. Genesis 3 verse 16. Now, I'm not talking about women teaching women. I'm not talking about women teaching children. I'm talking about women teaching men or trying to rule over the man. Look what the Bible says. Genesis 3 and verse 16. Here's what God said to the woman. And under the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply by sorrow and thy conception and sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. Now, look at this, and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee. Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.
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Now, in the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament, the word desire there is the word kyrieia. It is used two times in the New Testament. So if you want to know what this means, when he said in Genesis 3 and verse 16, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, I'll show you. So if you will turn in your Bibles, first of all, to Romans chapter 6 and look at verse 9. Romans chapter 6 and verse 9, because here you have the same exact Greek word. Romans 6 and verse 9. But this time, this same word is preceded by a negative. Look at it. Romans chapter 6, verse 9. He says much more than Romans 6, verse 9.
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He says, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead died no more, death hath no more dominion over him. Death hath no more dominion over him. It's the same word for desire. In other words, it is the word means power or rule over or to have dominion over. So no longer does death have power over Jesus Christ. Of course, in the same passage, no longer does death have dominion over man. That is the saved man, because Jesus Christ has destroyed death, and Jesus Christ is Lord. So, he says, death no longer has dominion over Christ. And then look at it, he says, in verse 11, Likewise reckon ye yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
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Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lust thereof. Why should sin not reign in your mortal body? Because sin is not your Lord if you've been saved. Jesus Christ is your Lord. The dominion of sin has been broken. It has been broken through the Lord Jesus Christ. Then if you look in Romans 7 in verse 1, you'll see the second time this word is used. Know ye not, brethren, for I speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion, that is, jurisdiction, rule, power over a man as long as he liveth.
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So when God said, to Eve, and thy desire shall be to thy husband. What he was saying was the husband is going to have jurisdiction. He's going to have dominion. He's going to have rule. He's going to have power over you.
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Now, I want you to see how this truth is exemplified. So I want you to turn, if you would, to 1 Peter, chapter three, 1 Peter, chapter three. And notice, if you would please be getting there with verse one, 1 Peter three and verse one. And there's two words that I'm going to be dealing with particularly. So look at this. 1 Peter, chapter three, verse one, he says, likewise, you wives.
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Being subjection to your own husbands. That have been you obey not the word, they may also without the word be one house by the conversation or the conduct of the wives. while they, that is the husbands, behold your chaste conduct, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or wearing of gold or putting on apparel.
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Now, he's not saying don't look neat, ladies. What he's saying is don't count on the external. He said, here's what you count on. Verse four. But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and not are afraid with any amazement. Now, I want to deal first of all with the word subjection in verse 1. It's important that we understand this word.
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Actually, the Greek word is hypotassō, and it literally is made up of two words, hypo, which means a preposition, which means under, and tassō means to place or to put under or to throw under. So it literally means to be put under someone's control or to be put under someone's power or someone's dominion. The word actually came into the Greek, from the Greek military, which meant to arrange the troops in a military fashion where you had officers over certain troops. In other words, the troops were under these officers. When you do not use it in a military term, it just simply means that the attitude of voluntarily submitting voluntarily placing yourself and assuming responsibility under.
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And I want you to note something the Bible said in 1 Peter chapter 3. He said, even that which is of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. If you don't hear anything else tonight, hear this. Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion. I saw a cartoon years ago.
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The child was standing up in the seat. And the mother kept telling the child to sit down while she was driving. And the child refused to sit down. Finally, the mother reached over and took her hand and jerked the child down and made the child sit down. She folded her arms. And she looked at her mama and said, I may be sitting down on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside. That's rebellion. That's not subjection, that's not submission. If submission is not willing and voluntary, it is not submission.
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Now, the Bible said, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. The Greek word for Lord is the word Kyrios. That word is used not only in reference to a husband, it's used in reference to a prince, and it's even used in reference to the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ. The word Lord means boss, owner, master, sovereign. That's what it means. Even as Sarah then obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, master, ruler. Boss, that's what the word means.
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Now, if you look in the book of Ephesians chapter five, hang on and I want you to hold this passage because we're going to come back there. But I want you to look in Ephesians chapter five and notice if you would please, verse thirty three. Ephesians five in verse thirty three. Hang on, Ephesians five, verse thirty three, look what the word of God says. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular talking about the husbands, so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence. Her husband. Now, the word reverence is a very interesting word.
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The verb is phobeō, which means I fear, and the noun happens to be phobos. It is where we get our English word phobia, claustrophobia, arachnophobia, and it means a fear. But used in this context, Ephesians 5, verse 33. It means to fear, to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference and to treat with reverential awe and obedience. Wow. And the wife see that she reverence the husband.
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Now, turn in your Bibles, if you would, to the book of Titus, chapter two. Look in Titus, chapter two. I want to tie all this together. And please sit with me, ladies, because the men are coming up. But look in Titus chapter 2. Notice, if you would please, verse 5. He tells us about the wives, verse 5, there to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, look at this next word, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Now, the word obedient is exactly the same Greek word that you find in 1 Peter chapter three. Being subjection to your husbands is exactly the same word. Now, notice if you would, verse five again, he said to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. So when there is no obedience, where there is no subjection, Biblical obedience and biblical subjection, the word of God is blasphemed. Now, since you're in Titus, if you will turn back in your Bibles just a few pages to 1 Timothy, chapter two, 1 Timothy, chapter two, and look, if you would, please.
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Beginning there, verse nine, it's astounding to me how many times the Bible says this. 1 Timothy 2 verse 9, In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broidered hair, gold or pearls, or costly array, but which becometh women professing godliness with good works. Then he says, Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Here's why. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. There's the creation order. Then here's the second reason. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Hmm. Not only is there a creation order here, but it was the woman who was deceived. Now, since the Bible tells you very plainly, the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
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Why then Do you read in Romans 5, verse 12, Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. The Bible just told us that Eve was the first one to sin, because she took and then she gave her husband. Why then did death come through Adam? Because Adam was her head and Adam was the federal head and representative of each of us.
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So what he did, we did. And when he sinned, we sinned, but the sin came through him and not particularly her, although she did sin. But it was with Adam. With whom God had made the covenant, and so consequently, death came by him now. Hang on, I want you to listen carefully. No one escaped submission. No one. In fact, if you will turn back just a few more pages to Colossians chapter one, look if you would please beginning there with verse 16. And I want you to pay attention to two words, all things. Look at this. Colossians 1 verse 16, talking about Jesus Christ, verse 15 says, who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature, for by him were all things created that are in heaven, that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions or principalities or powers, all things were created by him, look at this, and for him. And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning of the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence.
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Now, Jesus Christ is specifically stated to be the head of everyone. So, gentlemen, let me ask you a question. If you expect your wife to be in submission to you, should she not equally expect you to be in submission to Jesus Christ? If you are her head, Jesus Christ is your head. Now, the Bible does not tell us specifically a statement that says, Husband, submit yourselves to Jesus Christ. But the Bible does tell us in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, that the head of the man is Christ. And the Bible just told us in Colossians chapter 1 that he is the head of all things. So. If you'll look in your Bibles, please, to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. Hang on with me. Galatians, Ephesians. Look in Ephesians chapter 5. And let's begin reading there with verse 25. Ephesians 5, verse 25. The Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Why?
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That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Sought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.
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Now, I want you to hold Ephesians 5. Because I'm going to ask you some questions just a moment. But before I do, I want you to turn in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14, 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. And let's begin reading there with verse 34. 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. And look in verse 34. Look at what the scripture says. Let your women keep silence in the churches.
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For it is not permitted unto them to speak, but their commandment to be under obedience is also set the law. That's the Old Testament. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for women to speak in the church. So, gentlemen, listen up. If you are to love your wife the way Jesus Christ loved the church, Do you know how Jesus Christ loved the church? It was a special love, that is for sure. It was a sacrificial love. It was an exclusive love. He loved his church, he didn't love a harlot. He loved his church. God expects you, gentlemen, to love your wives specially.
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Sacrificially and exclusively the question. Based upon 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. The Bible said that the woman wants to know anything, if the wife wants to know anything, let her ask her husband at home. Hmm. So my question is this, has your wife become more knowledgeable And the things of God and in the word of God. Because she's married to you.
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Now, let me tell you something, man. I usually jokingly when I am involved in a question and answer session, I tell people up front, I can answer any question that you ask. As long as you understand that I don't know is the answer. But let me tell you something, when it comes to your wife asking you a question. Then that is your duty, your obligation and your responsibility to find that answer for her. That's what the Bible said, if she wants to know anything, let her ask her husband.
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You may not have a Ph.D. in theology. But that doesn't matter. You know how to do research. You know how to read your Bible. You know how to ask your pastor. You know how to ask an elder. You know that you are responsible to answer your wife. When you don't have a biblical relationship. In positions. It hinders your prayers. That's what he said in 1 Peter three and verse seven.
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Likewise, you husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Listen now, giving honor to the wife. As being the weaker vessel. That your prayers be not hindered. Now, when God says giving honor to the wife is the weaker vessel, that does not mean that you are The strong one. No, you are weak as well. She's just weaker. But God said when you don't have this proper relationship, it hinders your prayer.
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So here's what I'm trying to tell you. God has sovereignly designed the role of the husband and the role of the wife. Your pastors preach this. You know that the husband is to be a picture of Jesus Christ. And you know that the wife, in her submission to her husband, is to be a picture of the church's submission to Jesus Christ. You know that. That is simple. But here's what we don't understand.
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When these roles are reversed, when these roles are confused, when these roles are conflated, then instead of you having life in the home, you end up having death in the home. Because you've gotten out of God's orderly way. If you will go back in your Bibles with me, please, to the book of Deuteronomy chapter 30. Deuteronomy chapter 30. And let's begin reading there with verse 19. Deuteronomy chapter 30. Look, if you would, at verse 19 and we'll read verse 20. Look what God says.
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I call heaven and earth to record this day against you. that I have set before you life and death, blessings and cursings. Therefore, choose life that both thou and thy seed may live. That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, that thou mayest obey his voice, that thou mayest cleave unto him, for he is thy life and the length of thy days, that thou mayest dwell in the land where the Lord swears unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob to give them. He said choose life rather than death. A life giving home. A life Where everyone in the home prizes life and loves life and wants life is a life where the husband and wife are living in obedience to the role that God has sovereignly ordained for each one of them. And therefore, their children are seeing this loving relationship. Let me tell you something, a loving husband and a submissive wife will produce children that know their proper roles as well. I know families, I know families that have grown children and some on the way up to growth and to maturity.
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And those children are the most loving, the most kind, the most helpful, You know why they're like that? Because your parents are like that. Where in the world do you think your children learn the most from? From you. Let me tell you something. Your children know when you're a hypocrite and when you're not. If I stood up here tonight and I said, I'm going to be teaching from thou shalt not commit adultery.
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And every one of you out there thought or thought you knew that here, Brother Weaver, is why he's had five affairs I have not. But would you listen to me teach on thou shalt not commit adultery when you think I've already had five affairs? Would you listen to me? I don't care what you teach your children. I don't care how correct it is biblically, how correct it is doctrinally.
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If they see you not living it, They know what is reality. If you look in your Bibles, 1 Timothy, chapter five, verse four, I could quote it, but 1 Timothy five, verse four. The word of God says this, but if any wedda, if any wedda have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home and requite their parents for this, for this is good and acceptable for God. Now, if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home. What's piety? Godliness. Let them learn first to show Godliness at home and requite their parents. What does the word requite mean?
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It means to pay back. It means to pay back. In other words, children that have been taught biblical role models in one sense of the word, will always pay back their parents by acting biblically and godly as well. But this verse also means that children are to help not only their immediate family, but their extended family as well. You got aunts and uncles that need help, help them as well.
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Where do you learn to do that? From your home. I had an uncle whose wife died. My wife and I took care of him for several years. Until my daughter and her husband and her family moved him over to their place. And then they took care of him until he died. I took care of my mother after my father died. I took care of my mother-in-law after my father-in-law died. Where do children learn this from their parents?
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Now, let me tell you something, headship requires responsibility, duty, obligation and work. So, gentlemen, here's my question. Who's responsible for the education of your children? Not the state. Not the government. Not wicked, unsaved men and women. Who's responsible for the education of your children? According to the word of God, it's the father. The head of the home. That doesn't mean that the mother cannot help. But it does mean the father has a responsibility. To make sure that education is biblical and right and done in a manner that's honoring unto God, that's why God said in Deuteronomy chapter four, those those things which I command thee this day, what did he say? You do them and your children and your children's children.
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And everybody in this room knows Ephesians 6 and verse 4. And you fathers, bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Who is to bring them up? The fathers. It's the father's responsibility to make sure that the children are educated, not just doctrinally, but ethically, morally, practically. Where are they going to learn this? By watching Mama and Daddy. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is Zechariah 1, verse 4.
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I want you to listen to this. Listen to what God said to his people. Be ye not as your fathers. Unto whom the former prophets had cried, saying, Thus saith the Lord of hosts, Turn ye now from your evil ways and from your evil doings. But they did not hear nor hearken unto me, saith the Lord. What did God say? Be not as your fathers. Don't live like your fathers lived. Could God ever say that to your family, to your children? Don't live like mom and dad you live. Wow! God has ordained a role for the husband and a role for the wife.
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This is absolutely basic and absolutely fundamental. Gentlemen, if you want a submissive, obedient wife, you need to be the loving, obedient husband to Jesus Christ and love them the way Christ commanded you to love them. I want you to think about this. I want to make just a couple of applications. And husbands and wives, listen carefully. If you will not obey God in this, which is the most basic, the most fundamental, if you will not obey God in this is which I would call the least. Whatever makes you think that you're going to obey God in that which is great and difficult. If you cannot be faithful in that which is least, you're not going to be faithful in that which is much. If you're not willing to submit women to your husbands and husbands, if you're not willing to submit to Jesus Christ, what makes you think that your children ought to submit to you?
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Unhappily. Our children turn out to be just like us. If we want obedient children, if we want loving, kind and gracious children, we must be those parents to them. Loving, kind, gracious. That doesn't mean no discipline. But I got news for you. You cannot expect your children to be in submission to you if you're not in submission to God. You do reap what you sow. Young people, listen to me, young ladies, listen. You should never marry a man to whom you cannot submit. You should never marry a man.
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Who will not take the responsibility to be your head and your protector. I have taught. Many people, handgun, rifle, shotgun. One of the best students I ever had was a beautiful young woman. I mean, this girl could out shoot most men almost with her eyes closed. I could tell you things about her shooting that just absolutely astounds you. And she came to me one day and she looked at me and she said, Pastor, I'm just not going to marry a man that I have to protect. And she could have done it.
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But you know what she said? He's supposed to protect me. He is supposed to protect me. And young men, you don't have any right to marry a young woman. I don't care how beautiful she is. I don't care how gorgeous she is if she's unwilling to submit. The truth of the matter is this. Listen carefully. We have been talking about power. Jurisdiction. Authority. God ordained roles. I want you to understand a very important principle. Jurisdiction, authority. Power.
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Does not exist in a vacuum. God has ordained the husband to be the head of the home. If the husband is so unbiblical, so rebellious, so defiant, so unwilling to assume responsibility of headship, if he's unwilling to do that, let me tell you something. Power. Jurisdiction, authority, then shifts to the wife. And you end up with a matriarchal society. If Mama says, well, I'm not going to do it, he's not doing it, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to be the head of this house, I'm not going to have the authority, I'm not going to say this, no, no, no, it's not me. Guess what, Mama?
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If you don't do it, your children will. They'll run the home. And if the children won't run the home, the state will. Power does not exist in a vacuum. If we want our country back, if we want our next generation saved, it's going to have to be through the family.
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Now, Brother Tim said treason is usually against the family. I've got a message which I entitled The Bible and Treason, but treason is not just against the family, it is, but it's against God. And think about it like this. When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God. You're denying His sovereign authority. Because God says, this is the role that I've ordained for the man, for the woman. The head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.
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If we want our country back, if we want our families back, if we want our next generation back, we better create homes where life is prized and sought and the blessings of God abound. And those kids can look at mama and daddy and say, that's my man. That's my mother. When you have a home where the child wants to be like daddy and wants to be like mama. Yeah. But when God has to say, be not as your fathers. What a blow. What a blow. God, give us homes in which life is prized. Give us homes, Lord, in this basic, fundamental, absolutely necessary principle.
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Of wives being in submission to their husbands and husbands being in submission to Jesus Christ. And husbands loving their wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. And the wife seeing that she reverence the husband. Lord, give us this relationship that's based upon Your Word, based upon Your grace, based upon Your mercy. And Father, we would give Thee the praise and the honor and glory. In the name of Jesus Christ, we ask and pray. Amen.
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Creating A Life Giving Home

John Weaver | Freedom Ministries

John Weaver teaches that a truly life-giving home is not one that generates life on its own, but one where God's ordained order of headship and submission is honored. Using 1 Corinthians 11:3 as the foundational text, he explains that God has established a chain of authority: God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman. When husbands lovingly lead in submission to Christ and wives willingly submit to their husbands, the home reflects God's design and becomes a place where life is prized, blessings abound, and children learn godliness. Reversing or rejecting these roles brings death and disorder to the home.

Opening

Introduction: The Deceptive Title

Weaver clarifies that only God gives life, but a home can be a place where life is prized by seeking God wholeheartedly, referencing Jeremiah 29:13.

Biblical Examples of Life-Giving and Death-Giving Homes

Rahab's home is presented as life-giving because of her confession of God's sovereignty, while the old prophet's home in 1 Kings 13 brought death through deception and disobedience.

The Foundational Truth: God's Order of Headship

The core of the message is 1 Corinthians 11:3, which establishes the divine hierarchy: God, Christ, man, woman. This order is essential for a life-giving home.

The Role of the Wife: Submission and Reverence

Wives are called to voluntary, willing submission to their husbands, as taught in 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, and Titus 2. Forced or hypocritical submission is rebellion.

The Role of the Husband: Loving Leadership and Responsibility

Husbands must submit to Christ and love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. They bear responsibility for the spiritual education and well-being of the family.

Consequences of Rejecting God's Order

When biblical roles are reversed or abandoned, death enters the home. Children learn hypocrisy, and authority shifts to the wife, children, or the state.

Applications and Exhortations

Creating A Life Giving Home

John Weaver | SermonAudio

Lecture Metadata	Details
Speaker	John Weaver
Source	SermonAudio
Media ID	8142525196674
Subject	Family Government
Course	The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order: Remember Lot And His Wife
Genre	Sermon
Date	2025-08-07
Dictation Name
Book	Book 027: The Christian Family: Marriage and Household Order — Chapter 19
Source Timed Segments	73

Lecture Guide

Outline

Introduction: The Deceptive Title: Weaver clarifies that only God gives life, but a home can be a place where life is prized by seeking God wholeheartedly, referencing Jeremiah 29:13.
Biblical Examples of Life-Giving and Death-Giving Homes: Rahab's home is presented as life-giving because of her confession of God's sovereignty, while the old prophet's home in 1 Kings 13 brought death through deception and disobedience.
The Foundational Truth: God's Order of Headship: The core of the message is 1 Corinthians 11:3, which establishes the divine hierarchy: God, Christ, man, woman. This order is essential for a life-giving home.
The Role of the Wife: Submission and Reverence: Wives are called to voluntary, willing submission to their husbands, as taught in 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, and Titus 2. Forced or hypocritical submission is rebellion.
The Role of the Husband: Loving Leadership and Responsibility: Husbands must submit to Christ and love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. They bear responsibility for the spiritual education and well-being of the family.
Consequences of Rejecting God's Order: When biblical roles are reversed or abandoned, death enters the home. Children learn hypocrisy, and authority shifts to the wife, children, or the state.
Applications and Exhortations: Weaver urges young people to marry only those they can biblically submit to or lead, and calls all to obey God in these fundamental roles, as faithfulness in small things leads to faithfulness in greater things.

Major Themes

Key Arguments

A life-giving home is defined by seeking God, not by self-generated life.

Weaver argues that the title is deceptive because only God gives life; a home can only position itself to receive life by seeking God wholeheartedly.

He says, 'only God can give life... But at the same time, I also realize that it is possible to have a home where life is prized, celebrated, and sought.'

God's order of headship is foundational and non-negotiable.

The chain of authority in 1 Corinthians 11:3 is presented as an absolute truth that must be obeyed for a home to experience life.

Weaver states, 'This passage talks about the supremacy and the headship of God the Father, the supremacy and headship of God the Son, and the supremacy and headship of the man.'

Submission must be voluntary to be genuine.

Forced or hypocritical submission is actually rebellion; true submission is a willing, meek, and quiet spirit.

Weaver says, 'Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion.'

Husbands are accountable for the spiritual growth of their wives and children.

Based on 1 Corinthians 14:35, husbands must be able to answer their wives' spiritual questions and lead in education.

Weaver asks, 'has your wife become more knowledgeable in the things of God and in the word of God because she's married to you?'

Rejecting biblical roles is treason against God.

Disobeying God's ordained roles is not just harmful to the family but is a direct rebellion against God's sovereign authority.

Weaver concludes, 'When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God.'

Scripture References

1 Corinthians 11:3: The foundational verse for the message, establishing the divine order of headship: God, Christ, man, woman.
Jeremiah 29:13: Used to define a life-giving home as one that seeks God with all the heart.
Joshua 2:18: Rahab's scarlet thread as a sign of life preservation for her household.
Joshua 2:9-14: Rahab's confession of God's sovereignty and her plea for her family's salvation.
1 Kings 13:11-24: The old prophet's death-giving home, illustrating the danger of disobeying God's word.
Genesis 3:16: God's declaration that the husband shall rule over the wife, establishing male headship after the fall.
Romans 6:9: The Greek word for 'dominion' is the same as 'desire' in Genesis 3:16, indicating rule or authority.
Romans 7:1: Another use of the same Greek word for 'dominion,' reinforcing the meaning of authority.
1 Peter 3:1-6: Wives are to be in subjection to their husbands, with Sarah as an example of obedience.
Ephesians 5:33: Wives are to reverence their husbands, using a word meaning to fear or venerate.
Titus 2:5: Wives are to be obedient to their husbands so that God's word is not blasphemed.
1 Timothy 2:9-14: Women are not to teach or usurp authority over men, based on creation order and Eve's deception.
Romans 5:12: Sin entered through Adam as federal head, even though Eve sinned first.
Colossians 1:16-18: Christ is the head of all creation and the church, emphasizing his preeminence.
Ephesians 5:25-29: Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and exclusively.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35: Women are to keep silent in churches and ask their husbands at home if they have questions.
1 Peter 3:7: Husbands are to honor their wives as the weaker vessel so that prayers are not hindered.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20: God sets before his people life and death, blessing and cursing, urging them to choose life.
1 Timothy 5:4: Children are to learn piety at home and requite their parents, showing godliness in the family.
Zechariah 1:4: God warns not to be like disobedient fathers, highlighting the negative legacy of ungodly parents.

Historical References

Congressman Larry McDonald: Mentioned in an anecdote about eating chicken with fingers; he was a U.S. Congressman who died on Korean Air Lines Flight 007.
Benjamin 'Beast' Butler: Union general during the Civil War, nicknamed 'Spoons Butler' for allegedly stealing silverware, referenced in a humorous story about Northerners vs. Southerners.
John Gill: 18th-century Baptist theologian, quoted on Rahab as an instance of salvation by grace.

Important Quotes

Subjection that is forced or subjection that is done in sarcasm or hypocrisy or done reluctantly or defiantly is not subjection. It's rebellion.

Clarifies that biblical submission must be voluntary and from the heart, not merely external compliance.

When these roles are reversed, when these roles are confused, when these roles are conflated, then instead of you having life in the home, you end up having death in the home.

Summarizes the central warning that abandoning God's order brings destruction to the family.

When you refuse the biblical roles that God has ordained for you, it's not just treason against your family, it's treason against God.

Elevates the issue from a family matter to a direct offense against God's sovereign authority.

If you cannot be faithful in that which is least, you're not going to be faithful in that which is much.

Applies the principle that obedience in basic roles is a prerequisite for greater faithfulness.

Discussion Questions

[Question]

How does the concept that 'only God can give life' change our approach to building a godly home?

[Context]

Weaver emphasizes that a home cannot create life but can seek God's life through obedience.

[Question]

In what practical ways can a husband demonstrate loving, sacrificial leadership like Christ's love for the church?

[Context]

Based on Ephesians 5:25-29, husbands are called to love their wives exclusively and sacrificially.

[Question]

What does voluntary, joyful submission look like in a marriage, and how does it differ from forced compliance?

[Context]

Weaver stresses that submission must be willing, not hypocritical or reluctant.

[Question]

How can a husband fulfill his responsibility to be the spiritual leader and teacher in the home, especially if he feels inadequate?

[Context]

Weaver asks if wives have become more knowledgeable in God's Word because of their husbands, referencing 1 Corinthians 14:35.

[Question]

What are some signs that a home has shifted from God's order to a matriarchal or child-ruled dynamic?

[Context]

Weaver warns that when the husband abdicates, authority shifts to the wife, children, or state.

[Question]

How can parents ensure their children see genuine faith and not hypocrisy in the home?

[Context]

Weaver notes that children know when parents are hypocrites and that they learn piety at home.

Applications

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deepseek | deepseek-v4-pro | weaver_study | 2026-06-06T07:00:01Z